Cheating on your partner sometimes without telling them is probably more sustainable than an open relationship

ComfortableJeans · 2026-01-04T08:21:10+00:00

I mean, technically, maybe.

But a relationship where I feel compelled to cheat feels like no desirable relationship at all.

And a relationship that's open also feels like no desirable relationship at all.

In the same sense, I suppose rating rotten food might be better than eating literal shit, but I'd simply rather not do either.

If you're reduced to either, why be there?

Also, having come from a childhood where one parent was an habitual cheater. stable is not the word I'd use to describe it.

You could go with angry, depressing, unpredictable, or, crushing at times. But stable? No.

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2026-01-04T08:14:37+00:00

Disagree.

I know at least three people who realised their partners were cheating on them after catching STDs.

I'd rather be single than deal with someone infecting me with STDs from whatever mangy strays they choose to shag. 🤷🏻‍♀️

According-Tea-3014 · 2026-01-04T08:11:16+00:00

Yeah, I dare you to tell your partner that you cheated on them for their benefit, lmao

autistic_cool_kid · 2026-01-04T08:19:39+00:00

"I believe open relationships are doomed to fail" said the poster who advocated for cheating

My longest open relationship is 10 years old and going strong, I've been told for the last 10 years it would fail. Any minute now.

On the other hand I wouldn't be able to look my partner in the eyes after lying to them. Heck I can't even do white lies. I can't imagine cheating on my life partners, that's very messed up man.

If monogamy is for you be monogamous and stick with it. If you want ENM just do ENM. If both aren't for you then stay single. All can be good options. But cheating is never a good option.

My_House_on_Mars · 2026-01-04T16:20:28+00:00

we all know you are scared to say you want an open relationship. And you are probably scared of having a partner who sleeps with other people. I know people in open relationships that have been going strong for +10 years, there's apps to find like minded people.

It's ok to be scared but just be honest

No_Personality5381 · 2026-01-04T08:33:47+00:00

And men complain about women cheating.....

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-01-04T11:01:10+00:00

If I can place someone's nationality on a map and their social media bio by the first line of their post, I tend to stay away, but here goes.

The answer is neither.

An open relationship is just a close friendship where sex is on the table.

Cheating is just playing pretend in the daytime to go save Gotham during nighttime.

There's nothing "relationship" like about either of them. A relationship ends the moment a partner cheats, emotionally, openly or otherwise, what follows is a caricature of it.

If you want to compare the two, do it without attaching the label of a relationship because that's not what they are.

mar-uh-wah-nuh · 2026-01-04T08:24:56+00:00

Nope. Break up. I'm not a puratin. I've contemplated temptation. Every single time that's happened to me I've either (a) reflected and realized I love my partner too much to betray them on such a fundamental level (thus prompting a conversation about how we can enhance our sex lives), or (b) ended the relationship immediately because I don't actually give a fuck about the other person and they deserve to find someone who values them for who they are and what they have to offer.

Be an ethical slut, OP.

Edit: Whoever downvoted this post is unequivocally doomed. Lol. You will never know an honest, sensual, sustainable, and passionate sexual relationship. I pity you.

throwaway73737828 · 2026-01-04T08:08:26+00:00

But the thing is, once they learn if you did, your relationship is gonna get destroyed. From mens side if you did that, she will be very vindictive and gonna seek vengence every chance she gets. From womens perspective the men either gonna leave, be a cuck or go to jail from violence (worst case scenario). Its always better to admit open relationship rather than hiding it.

But from sustaining perspective, I guess yeah but are you willing to take a huge hit if they learn about it. Its your choice.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-01-04T08:25:15+00:00

I believe open relationships are doomed to fail.

The vast majority of all relationships "fail." I'd suggest you reconsider your metrics of success, if your definition of successful monogamy accommodates potentially both parties cheating on each other with at least sufficient secrecy.

OffTheRedSand · 2026-01-04T08:45:55+00:00

i mean i see your point yada yada

however this just reinforces the idea of how men want any relationship (and sex) instead of wanting healthy relationships and sex.

male thirst will always make women on guard and make women ask men to prove their loyalty and responsability to them.

"women nowasays ask so much of men and don't make it easy to find relationships"

yea because men just want a relationship for status and a side piece for sex, women will try to vet their own way for men who will be good for them.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-01-04T09:17:01+00:00

Naw having it open is much better, especially if a man can find someone that allows it to be open on just the mans end. Lying is not a good way to run things at all, because it will get really messy if they are caught.

cb8585b · 2026-01-04T09:29:47+00:00

I think people who know they couldn’t tolerate their partner fucking other people would agree with this mostly. It’s like those Reddit posts that have basically become a meme across social media atp where a man begs to open up a relationship and the women agrees and until he realises she can fuck 10 men in the time it takes a woman to even give him a number.

FineDevelopment00 · 2026-01-04T11:44:03+00:00

IMV both of these choices are gravely unethical and on top of that, in what universe is it better to deceive someone (and that's before we even get into the non-consensual risk to the other person of potential STD exposure and cuckolding and such) than to be up-front so said person can make an educated decision about how to deal with your pathology? That's not treating someone well; it's abusive.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-01-04T12:19:58+00:00

This only begins to make more sense when you realize that one person checking out sexually in a relationship is akin to cheating.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-04T15:07:39+00:00

Only if you are fine getting dumped

Feeling_down_4612 · 2026-01-08T11:36:01+00:00

What the actual fuck bro

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InterestingGoose5507 · 2026-01-04T08:54:12+00:00

Polyamory = I’m selfish and I don’t give a shit about you, my partner! I’ll gaslight you that it’s ok because I’m I haven’t lied!

Cheater = I’m selfish but I at least care about your feelings and don’t want to hurt you. Therefore I lie!

Neither are good but Poly is worse!

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Title	Cheating on your partner sometimes without telling them is probably more sustainable than an open relationship
Author	Reasonable_Mouse789
Upvotes	0
Comments	79
Date	January 4, 2026 8:02 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q3kat2/cheating_on_your_partner_sometimes_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cheating-on-your-partner-sometimes-without-telling.1570381 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570381

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