Child support should be an optional contract similar to a prenuptial agreement.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-12-08T04:52:28+00:00

So your idea is to give men the opportunity to proactively, and presumably legally, opt out of supporting and having any contact or parental rights (nor would the grandparents etc have any contact or rights btw) to any children that come out of a relationship by making a one time pre-sex declaration?

If the relationship results in marriage and children born within the marriage does that nullify that declaration or do those men still have zero responsibility for, contact with and rights to the children?🤔

If that could even be legalized (it couldn’t btw), that would require each party to retain a lawyer and it would need to be approved by a family court judge and filed with the state.

With the backlog in court calendars and the expenses involved, these aspiring deadbeats would be waiting months and months and paying thousands of dollars in legal and court fees before any sex could occur. Seems an unlikely commitment for men who are seeking to avoid commitment and have easy sex…

I don’t think you’ve really thought this through…

remaininyourcompound · 2024-12-08T06:38:48+00:00

The absolute state of this sub

purplish_possum · 2024-12-08T04:41:10+00:00

LOL. As if the state is ever going to allow parents to bargain away their kids rights.

mobjack · 2024-12-08T05:06:35+00:00

I have zero sympathy for deadbeat fathers.

It is a good thing that they are forced to pay child support.

_trust_me_bruh_ · 2024-12-08T05:19:28+00:00

this is the equivalent to anti-abortionists saying they're "pro-life".

No, they're "pro-birth", because they don't give a shit what happens to the kid after birth. You are the same. What do you assume happens to the kid?

Also, these laws would accelerate hookup culture way too far, we would never have hope of caring for all these unwanted kids.

alwaysright0 · 2024-12-08T10:34:51+00:00

Because of course, men would never lie

🙄

Asymic · 2024-12-09T02:23:18+00:00

I think a major problem with this is the fact that this ignores the point of child support. Acknowledging fears for men about child support, I think this ignores the responsibility of producing children in the first place. Child support isn’t there for the Women it’s there for the children so that they can live normal lives without financial burden and taking that obligation you have since you created them is ignorant.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-12-08T12:33:15+00:00

Let’s be real, if a man won’t put on a condom before sex, he’s certainly not going to sign some paperwork, have her agree to the terms and conditions and sign it, and get it notarized before sex.

And then okay if she does get pregnant and have the baby and can’t support it on her own, who pays? Oh yeah, the taxpayers. While I’m not opposed to having reasonable social safety nets and there will always be parents who can’t or won’t support their kids, we don’t need to be encouraging more deadbeat behavior.

Furthermore, I feel like a lot of men on this sub don’t understand how child support works and how it still almost always costs the custodial parent a lot more to raise the kid than the non-custodial parent paying child support. Women aren’t making money off of getting knocked up, and it’s quite rare for a woman to conspire to get pregnant while planning to raise the kid on her own and collect child support. Men are also fully capable of getting joint custody or even full sometimes… they just usually choose not to, because it costs more, in both time and money.

The best solution is more research into long-term but easily reversible birth control options for men, and for men to actually accept 50% responsibility for pregnancy prevention.

Existing-Bug-7910 · 2024-12-08T08:50:46+00:00

support for a life they helped create? It’s their DNA, their child. Why should they get a free pass to walk away from their obligations?

If a guy chooses to sleep around without considering the consequences, he needs to take accountability for his actions. If he’s worried about being “trapped,” maybe he should choose partners more wisely or rethink his approach. Demanding sex without any consequences is not just reckless—it’s delusional.

Men already get off easy compared to women, who not only face the burden of pregnancy but also the life-threatening risks that can come with childbirth. On top of that, trying to push all the chores and emotional labor of raising an unwanted child onto the woman is outright selfish and unfair. Why should she bear all the responsibility for a child both parties created?

Child support is literally the bare minimum contribution men can make. Let’s not pretend sex doesn’t inherently carry a risk of pregnancy, no matter how careful you are with contraception. If you’re not ready to deal with the potential outcomes, maybe you’re not ready to have sex. Responsibility isn’t optional—it’s part of being an adult

metasekvoia · 2024-12-08T21:33:16+00:00

Two persons make a baby. Why should there even be an option that only one of them will feed it?

bluestjuice · 2024-12-08T07:00:52+00:00

Please explain what current harm this system would prevent or reduce.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2024-12-08T14:15:52+00:00

Men should agree upfront (before sex) to pay or not pay for possible children indefinitely or till X date.

All for it. Sign a contract before sex.

BDaily24 · 2024-12-08T22:47:57+00:00

This is pretty much the situation in most countries, men don't even have to sign a contract, they can just bail.

In those countries, premarital sex is rare for that reason.

_weedkiller_ · 2024-12-09T12:24:33+00:00

Children, once born, are more important than what a man wants to do. I had a similar discussion on Reddit earlier in the week and people really struggle to accept what they view as “unfair” between parents is irrelevant once kid is on this earth. It’s all about what is fair to the kid. They also struggle to accept the lack of control you have once a parent. This, as a parent, is a typical attitude I have observed in people who either don’t have kids and/or have been very fortunate in life. They’ve never been in a situation that is so out of their control and so they assume there are ways to control the situation. It’s a cliché but life isn’t fair. It’s just not. And you may end up in an unfair situation, but the answer is never to let a kid go without resources. You need to take the loss sometimes.

Heterosexual sex will always come with a risk of pregnancy. You can take precautions to prevent that, for example vasectomy or condom, but once a baby is in the world, if it’s got your DNA, it’s your responsibility. If you don’t want a kid you’ll be lucky if all the mother asks for is money and not time. By that I mean spending time caring for the kid so the woman can go to work and have a social life.

EulenWatcher · 2024-12-08T05:04:51+00:00

I don't necessarily mind the idea of paper abortions, and what you're offering here is a form of it, but it goes hand in hand with higher taxes, so the state would be able to compensate a lack of child support. It would also mean that there's no place for any spontaneous or drunk sex. They have to first sign the contract, and that would require them to allocate the time, place and both be sober. I'd guess far less women would be okay with anything casual in this case. Not because a lot of women babytrap men, but rather because causal sex is linked to being intoxicated and making some spontaneous decisions.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-12-08T15:13:26+00:00

this is totally not dumber and more retarded then something like just "ending the enforcement of child support on never-married men"

RelevantJackWhite · 2024-12-08T22:23:14+00:00

Some guys will attempt to invent new legal precedent instead of just practicing safe sex

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KittyCatKnight · 2024-12-08T18:33:56+00:00

Hard disagree. I'm pro-life so my position is that if the woman can't abort, the man can't abandon responsibility. That being said, from the pro-choice perspective, you can't defend the position that men shouldn't be able to opt out of parenthood at the time of the woman being pregnant.

PracticalControl2179 · 2024-12-08T07:45:26+00:00

No I fully support this system. I would exclusively sleep with men who sign legal paperwork to provide for me and our kid financially for the rear of his life. Amen. This should be normalized so that all men will feel pressured to step it up and be better providers.

CuriousPassion77 · 2024-12-08T04:52:27+00:00

I like the idea of having the terms agreed to upfront. Marriage is a legal contract, a profound one. When you get married you agree in the context of current divorce laws etc. the government can willy nilly change these laws to something outside of what you agreed to. When you get married your marriage and divorce should be subject to the laws at the time of marriage. Only way to do this is to literally make a marriage contract. You could use a default contract consistent with current laws or negotiate terms. The contract should also contain terms of divorce.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-12-08T07:52:05+00:00

I would love it to be optional. But that would fuck over the government quite a bit. So it will never happen which I am fine with because the alternative is just worse.

Systems like this would fuck over women and their ability to work. Which will make sure ur country makes a lot less money. Which you will definitely feel. Also it will really reduce the children being born, and if you like it or not is something which will reduce your retirement age.

I much rather not have prices increase and needing to work longer. Just so that some idiot dudes can knock up idiot girls and bounce.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2024-12-08T04:41:10+00:00

Upvote for the novel idea, while also I disagree.

This system can be abused leading to many children being funded through the state to our taxes, as bachelors. I can't think hard on a different solution but I'll upvote for trying. I think something needs to be done to make women accountable for their actions to sleep around and collect pay $$. They should pick one dude, and the dude picks her, and they are both on the hook at no benefit if it doesn't work out. Unfortunately again how the heck to make laws for this, so novel idea, at same time I see it being abused with strange unforeseen consequences. I'd say keep it up and think of more stuff...(Maybe it would work and its a great idea? I can't tell, interesting great thinking arriving to conclusion)

Title	Child support should be an optional contract similar to a prenuptial agreement.
Author	giveuporfindaway
Upvotes	0
Comments	156
Date	December 8, 2024 4:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1h9avzm/child_support_should_be_an_optional_contract/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/child-support-should-be-an-optional-contract.1537912 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537912

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