Dating in our 20s.

JohnDoe721 · 2021-01-19T02:23:49+00:00

My parents could support themselves , house 2 cars on a single factory worker wage.

reluctantly_red · 2021-01-19T01:58:54+00:00

Wasn't that great (or that bad) back then. There were recessions and layoffs in the 70s and 80s too.

YouSaidChicken · 2021-01-19T01:55:17+00:00

In the “old days” boomers weren’t just all rich and swimming in vaults of gold coins.

You had a lot of expenses, however you also fixed a lot of things yourself, roofs leaked, power was sketchy. You had fewer expenses than now, because outside of a house purchase you didn’t tend to use loans and credit cards for everything.

The world wasn’t wonderful like feminists and people imagine it was.

Dating was just more neighborhood and town based. People weren’t swiping on a rotary phone and taking a bus 45 minutes away to hook up.

JohnDoe9564 · 2021-01-19T02:25:38+00:00

Broke unemployed men get laid all the time.

Money isn't the reason you're struggling

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2021-01-19T03:04:12+00:00

I feel back in the day there weren’t as many options so people found someone relatively quicker.

Think about it, there were no dating apps or social media, the closest thing you would have would be a “single ladies” night or something.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2021-01-19T05:53:53+00:00

Today's dating is expensive, but poday's cost of living is even more expensive because wages have stagnated. This is a socioeconomic problem that is outside scope of this subreddit. Do coffee dates and dinner dates. Just do you :/

SeemedGood · 2021-01-19T06:13:46+00:00

Dating is dead now (assuming it was ever actually alive). Don’t waste your time with it.

Make money, fuck bitches.

AidsVictim · 2021-01-19T08:18:53+00:00

How do we date in modern times when we work so much?

Average working hours are around the same/lower today and people have fewer social/communal obligations as well. Material conditions have worsened in many ways in the last few decades but I'm not a fan of people describing things like dating habits in purely material terms - culture is a large factor in the current failure of dating/family formation.

Boomers (or rather their parents) had kids while living in smaller homes, working as much or more, with more responsibilities, because starting a family was their main priority in life. Immigrants live in worse material conditions, smaller houses, and often poor long term material prospects but manage to have more families/kids than middle class natives because that's something they prioritize.

In modern dating the priority is generally just "How can I get the most entertainment(sexual, social, or whatever) out of X person" where it's just another form of entertainment competing with dozens of other (electronic) entertainment sources. Different forms of stimulus now compete for the same "space" that dating/social relations used to occupy creating the impression of less time availability.

We also have to consider that dating now generally takes over a much longer period of many peoples lives - active dating years in pre sexual revolution/pre modern times often consisted of just a few years of highschool and post school/college years before marriage (obviously with many exceptions) while it's typical that people date into their late 20's and 30's before marrying now.

wtknight · 2021-01-19T02:48:03+00:00

How do we date in modern times when we work so much?

Stop working so much and live a more modest lifestyle. That's what I've always done and was part of the whole "slacker" mentality that was prominent in the 90s.

daproest1 · 2021-01-19T03:36:38+00:00

It gets worse in your 30s. Find who u want to keep NOW. And Fucking keep them

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-01-19T15:20:27+00:00

Revive the labour movement in the US. Get out of the mindset of the bootlickers and temporarily embarassed millionares.

Our Boomers fought for social reforms like mandatory sex ed, vacation days and all other ideas coming out of Swedish social democracy. Thanks to them we're capable of today living in somewhat decent conditions compared to the alternatives.

2021-01-19T15:22:50+00:00

Everyone has time, they just spend it in front of screens. If people with two jobs can date multiple people, someone with one job can have a social life.

HOLYREGIME · 2021-01-19T20:44:29+00:00

You’re on the right track.

For me personally, it feels like in order to date decent women, you need to have a nice car, apartment and above average job.

I think you have to make poor financial decisions in order to look more attractive and boost your social status. As we all know, when it comes to vagina, men are willing to do anything so it’s no problem.

I could be wrong but it just feels like this is the case from my perspective. Mid 20’s.

jdobrila · 2021-01-19T05:08:11+00:00

even if we're lucky to get a job

Current US unemployment is 6.7% and has been falling since around march of last year.

we're barely making it by

An average 20-30 year-old in the US has $3,740 in savings.

and have little time to see one another

An average American has over 5 hours of free time each day, and no age group went below 4.5 hours.

Fucking Americans are starting to rival women in their self-victimization and woe-is-me attitude.

801735 · 2021-01-19T01:46:21+00:00

How do we date in modern times when we work so much?

One fundamentally different way of doing it, compared to what you've presented, is dating instead of asking why you aren't dating.

I know it may sound complicated, but it's pretty simple until "you" start complicating.

You see, once you get the money, you don't have the car. Once you get the car, it's got a flat tire. Once you get the tire fixed, darn, you forgot to have the oil checked (could do it yourself, no?), and then it's also winter, so it's cold, and then it'll be windy, followed by hot, and then the leaves on the floor just make this weird sound as you walk all over them in the fall and oops, oh, wow, it's 2030? Fcuuuuuuuk. No wonder you didn't go on dates, when time doesn't even stop "like boomers time did".

You get what I mean?

One fundamentally different way of doing it, compared to what you've presented, is dating instead of asking why you aren't dating.

goatismycopilot · 2021-01-19T02:47:20+00:00

Old people managed to date and marry during the Great Depression.

Mimoxs · 2021-01-19T05:36:11+00:00

I mean, the average date I've been on cost $0. If you're just starting out yeah spend a little bit on food or movies, I get that, but like once you've got an established relationship, just do home dates. Make food and stay on the couch. That's what I've always done.

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RunsWlthScissors · 2021-01-19T12:33:05+00:00

Be yourself. If you find some who likes what you’re selling, and you do for them it’ll work out. People tend to make time for people they want to be with.

Cash money wise yes that means a few dinners out, but being thrifty makes you make better choices for the people you really want to take out. After an initial investment and good conversation, you should have reasonable expectations for dates based on what you have going for you. Wanting more than you can reasonably do should tell you enough about what someone values or what they will expect in the future.

YuSaiNuhthing · 2021-01-19T14:48:53+00:00

I just hang out at my house and go out to eat sometimes. But equally I’m not a weirdo or sexually threatening / pressuring towards women so that usually works out fine for me 🤷🏻‍♂️

Stevefr0mYellowstone · 2021-01-19T18:18:04+00:00

My advice to you is to go visit a third world country like Haiti, then you'll grow some appreciation for how well you have it in the US/West.

Boomers got drafted and sent off to Vietnam. Assuming you are a male you had to register for the draft, but no man has had to worry about being forcefully enlisted for decades.

Interest rate for mortgages were well into the mid to high teens versus what, 3-4% today?

You have more access to information than an entire city's worth of people from the 60s/70s combined. There is such a wealth of information out there on not just dating, but also self improvement matters. And it is as easy as pulling your phone out of your pocket to find this information.

If you ask me you should stop complaining and take advantage of the benefits you have from living now instead of 40 years ago.

escapethesolarsystem · 2021-01-19T22:01:35+00:00

Taking the "murica" out of the question, you're basically saying "how do people with less money than the top 25% in the developed west have time to date?"

IDK. Ask them. People find time for what's important to them.

tropicsGold · 2021-01-20T01:46:10+00:00

The amount of time people work has been plummeting over the last 50-60 years. My grandparents, the greatest generation, worked such insane hours I just felt embarrassed. As a teenager I could barely keep up with him for 2-3 hours and I would be exhausted. He would work 10 hours + of hard farm labor followed by building a seed and chemical company. That’s what depression level hunger does for you. My generation x is pretty hard working but we are pikers compared to them.

I think the current generation just has sky high expectations. They think coasting through 4-5 hours of modest work entitles them to a six figure salary right out of a very mediocre college education. And when their mediocre effort does not immediately pay off in a high paying job, they complain because this is not what they expected. My grandpa didn’t expect to even eat without slave labor to get it.

I don’t blame the younger generations for being this way, any more than I blame myself for not meeting that standard. But if you adjust your expectations I think everything looks pretty good. We don’t have to do 10+ hour days just to eat.

DicamVeritatem · 2021-01-20T06:06:19+00:00

Little time to see one another?

I worked the entirety of the 80’s and worked 50+ hour weeks throughout it.

Few_Barnacle13 · 2021-01-20T13:52:27+00:00

Me and my bf both have steady jobs with good income, we rent a big apartment, dating wasn’t ever a problem, we’re debt free and financially responsible. Dating wasn’t ever a problem and making time to see each other wasn’t ever a problem too. If there is will there will be a way.

Suck-Less · 2021-01-21T04:09:32+00:00

Your boomer parents, and GenX started to date with hardly any resources. Many of us didn’t get a car until we could afford one, not when parents decided to buy us one. Many had to start working at 16 just to afford the first McDonald’s date. Most of them never went to college and went right to blue collar jobs.

If you think that you have it worse, well you are probably about to respond on a thousand dollar device they couldn’t afford until their mid thirties... adjusted for inflation.

spacechicken1990 · 2021-01-19T06:13:09+00:00

The idea that dating was easier is a coping mechanism to deal with the fact men today aren’t adapting well to the new SMP.

It’s a trad fantasy that you were just handed a wife is false. There where always unsuccessful men, they just didn’t have the internet to get together.

I have no HS diploma & am studying, I worked myself up to getting a position to study. I come from literally nothing and managed to crawl my way to get where I am. You have so many opportunities to succeed nowadays complaining just seems mad to me.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-01-19T03:24:25+00:00

Lol there were poor people in boomers hey day, just like they were people who were perpetually single.

This idea that everyone was winning back then economically or dating wise laughable.

Tugallois · 2021-01-19T05:43:34+00:00

Poor people date. Unemployed people date. Students date. Hell, high-schoolers date. And most people aren't working 80 hours a week.

How do we date in modern times when we work so much?

You meet someone interesting and swap numbers/Instagrams.

RockyNada · 2021-01-19T01:52:00+00:00

Stop pursuing careers that make no money...they sold you a lie, talking about you can be whatever you want..that's BS!... we all have limitations...

If you majored in something that's not special, something that everyone else majored in...guess what...You aint getting a job.

Go to a trade school and learn how to be a welder, an electrician, a plumber...Get dirty, ya want a corner office in a high rise building...you're a regular person...so be great being regular.

Those boomers you speak of, had real jobs...They didn't have 4 ipads, 5 computers, a $1500 cell phone, a tv in each room.... spoiled ass brats.... get your ass to work.

Make some money at a real job, and the chics will come...

kawaii_neet_bot · 2021-01-19T06:09:58+00:00

Obviously you've never worked that hard if this is an actual issue.

I know people who juggled two or three jobs who have partners.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-01-19T08:41:29+00:00

Our boomer parents didn't own a quarter of what we now take for granted and many of them worked more than we do today. The level of luxury (it is not perceived as such, but go to an actually poor country and you'll see what I mean) we have to afford today to be normal is just disproportionate.

Also notable, many of our parents didn't go to university and get a useless degree and debt and instead started working early, gaining experience. Higher education outside certain fields has become a scam and people should see it like that.

Title	Dating in our 20s.
Author	SkepticDrinker
Upvotes	10
Comments	175
Date	January 19, 2021 1:36 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/l093c0/dating_in_our_20s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-in-our-20s.748140 https://theredarchive.com/post/748140

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