Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them.

No_Mammoth8801 · 2026-07-13T18:56:46+00:00

Its pretty banal advice but the reality check sorely needed to this post is that there is no untapped, abundant reservoir (or fishing pond to apply to your analogy) of single and looking women.

Men remain on dating apps because the occasional bite from a fish you probably won't catch is more encouraging than hiking 10 miles upstream to another pond rumored to have bigger fish you're likely to catch.

Every other environment a guy can put himself in, starting from scratch, is still going to have the same problems as OLD. It's still probably going to be a sausage fest. Best case? Probably 2:1 guys to girls. The outnumbered women are still going to flock to the handful of top men. And thats assuming they a) show up regularly to build rapport and b) open to being approached/not already involved with someone else, whether that be a situationship/relationship.

Eblademonk · 2026-07-13T20:02:37+00:00

Lilith seems to live and die on the platform that men simply aren't bootstrapping hard enough to find dating success in this environment, and as funny as that is, it's not exactly practical advice.

AlarmingToe8503 · 2026-07-13T18:38:34+00:00

Second, Hinge is awful in general in my honest opinion. I have yet to hear good things about Hinge. In fact, I hear better things about Tinder. So yeah, Hinge has a bad ROI and having something casual wont help.

I've honestly never heard anything bad about Hinge, and I get way more dates on there than on Bumble.

El_Hombre_Fiero · 2026-07-13T18:39:25+00:00

Dating apps are convenient. However, that convenience comes with some negatives, one of which is it draws in low-effort people.

It's very rare to encounter women on a dating app that has the whole package (e.g., looks, personality, no baggage or children). Women like that tend to use dating apps for a short period before they pair up with someone and get off the app. You're then left with less desirable women and/or women who are only using the app for validation or social media followers. On the opposite end, you do have some highly attractive men who use dating apps like a taste testing. They'll hook up with a lot of women, which then poisons the well, so to speak. As a result, even for reasonably attractive men looking for something serious, their likes/messages/effort get overlooked by the massive influx of attention the remaining women get on the app. Add to that the gamification of the app algorithm (i.e., pay more to improve the chances of your like/message being seen), and it just becomes a frustrating experience for most men.

IMO, we're in a transition period where people are rediscovering the benefit of meeting people in person. You're more likely to meet people that you vibe with through volunteering, co-ed leagues, hobby groups, etc.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-07-13T19:58:59+00:00

Maybe it’s just America, but most women aren’t interested in short term.

As an American, I disagree. My my experience, in real life and on apps, the norm for women these days is to date casually, with an option for long-term if things work out better than expected. So while most aren't exclusively looking for short-term, but most are at least low-key, potentially, open to it.

This is visible in numerous statistics, particularly if you can read between the lines rationally. For example, combining "short-term," "open to short," and "still figuring it out" as at least potentially open; or further, considering that at least some percentage of "long-term" women have used tinder for an obvious hookup, or found one in real life, at least once, when the mood struck them.

It has been suggested, not unwisely, that their physical-attraction standards for short-term may be higher, though.

Second, Hinge is awful in general in my honest opinion

In the past couple of years, it has become my favorite extant dating app. I've used in in at least 4 US cities (including his) and had none of his problems.

That’s what happens when you pursue something causal.

In my experience, there is no difference in overall quality of personality among women whether they are looking for short-term or long-term, on apps or in the real world.

hearing how he tries to converse with women, it’s super dry and boring too

This is his real problem, and he is completely unaware of it.

Later in the video, he also suggests he may be biased in favor of women he perceives as "unavailable" and that he may not be spiritually fit for dating right now. I suspect he's subconsciously selecting women with whom some part of him senses there can be no real connection. Or it's just bad luck.

This, by the way, IS something that can be affected by the search for "short-term." Because you expect so little, your judgment for personality and compatibility standards can be compromised. This is, however, also avoidable once you realize you're messing up.

Because if you’re trying to find a smart girl at the club, you’re a moron.

I don't really go to clubs often. But I meet a lot of smart women in bars. You don't really have to have an in-depth, intellectual conversation to tell that someone is intelligent, especially if they're extroverted enough to simply present their personality. It's visible in the way one talks and behaves whether there is an agile mind at work behind it.

matthedev · 2026-07-14T01:56:56+00:00

The Match Group owns both Hinge and Tinder, but online at least, it sounded like everyone had migrated to Hinge. I think some of it is location dependent; around here, the quality on Tinder is the lowest among the major online dating apps.

Personally, I don't get much out of chatting into a message box with someone I've never met, which would probably lead to "dry" conversations. So I prefer to take things offline as quickly as possible or just meet people offline instead.

Regardless of your cherry-picked examples, you'll never get men.

Throwawaypmme2 · 2026-07-13T19:02:43+00:00

First, who sits there and watches an almost hour long thing on YouTube rather than going outside and you know... talking to people or actually doing it?

How hard it is for men to do? Women are into casual sex, just not with him. Probably because he sits there and makes almost hour long videos about his online dating life. No one wants to hear that.

It's called fishing out of the ocean, not the pond. I know you like to frame things a specific way to suit your narrative, but a lot of what you say makes no sense.

No, women say exactly what they want in a guy. They just dont want an unattractive man or a man with no ambition. No one wants to date someone like that.

What? Women are allowed to go to a club, bar or whatever. They're people too. This is such an unhinged and unhealthy standard that would come from someone who believes in a strict lifestyle. Get out from behind the screen and you might actually have to change your viewpoints because you'll have to interact with people.

Where is the proof that fickle women have low standards. Thats laughable in itself. Again, any woman can go anywhere. Its almost like you use divisive language because you're trying to drive engagement. Not because you actually understand what you're talking about.

Also, please stop using AI to write your posts. Its painfully obvious

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Several_Ability3315 · 2026-07-13T22:50:04+00:00

They would first have to comprehend how their attempted use of manipulation triggers toxic, volatile cortisol-dopamine trauma loops rather than stable bonding pathways, which always leads to resentment, and women can sense.
They would then have to understand how energy compatibility and dynamic tension must align to create authentic chemistry, rather than relying on the passive ‘nice’ doormat script. They would also have to face the accountability and humility required to see that their unchecked insecurities combined with a lack of real empathy, naturally deforms their behavior into hyper-reactive entitlement. Completely unplug from the algorithmic echo chambers that feed their brains bitter, concepts and world views all day. And stop viewing human connection through transactional scripts and metrics - but they are too addicted to the comfort of familiarity and shared victimhood to ever log off and naturally develop on their own.

Salty-Map-942 · 2026-07-15T01:11:45+00:00

First, the guy is looking for short term. Maybe it’s just America, but most women aren’t interested in short term.

Tbf, you realise how biased and designed most of these apps are to hookups? I mean, women aren't delusional in thinking they'll find long term willing partners in an app like Tinder, inherently judging almost entirely from photos, and matching dudes based on their muscle? Women really aren't any better in tht respect...

Second, Hinge is awful in general in my honest opinion. I have yet to hear good things about Hinge. In fact, I hear better things about Tinder. So yeah, Hinge has a bad ROI and having something casual wont help.

So you pass off something subjective as objective. I can tell you personally for starters, I feel the exact opposite. Hinge is way better, might still be overall meh like all OLD, but it at least gies more detail on focus on someone's bio rather than just pictures, and gives you more options to put in. Tinder is so dead, they're trying so hard in their current ad campaigns, and ofc in my experience, women don't even bother messaging you when you've matched with them on Bumble, even though it's designed specifically to allow women to talk first

Then he talked about how he matched with uninteresting and uninterested women who cant hold a conversation. Yeah. That’s what happens when you pursue something causal.

Not really, once again I can tell you as a guy who has been on these apps for casual and long term dating prospects, a lot of women on there are uninteresting, uninterested, and sometimes quite often entitled. Or if none of that, just come across as non genuine interested, and then just straight away ghost you. I don't entirely blame them though, as OLD is massively biased advantaged to particularly young women for a variety of reasons i.e they don't even have to put in much effort outside of makeup an getting ready

When you’re looking for something casual, you don’t really have room to be that boring and generic.

do you have any idea how hard it is to come across as unique and exciting, especially to potentially hundreds of individual picky women and also not come across as say eccentric at worst? Yeah once again, coming from the mouth of women who aren't the ones courting or trying to jump start the relationship, this is yet again entitled woman talk havng zero fucking idea at how much dudes have to do just to look interesting and attractive enough to merely get matched, let alone anything else.

Also, it's hilarious that you think even for the women on there looking for something casual, that it's any easier for guys to get. Yeah nah

Anyways, the point of that example is that this is a common thing I keep seeing with guys who want to complain about female nature being so awful and how all women are the same. Saying “A fisherman doesnt ask the fish” is a bad analogy because good fisherman notices the pond they’re in and what kind of fish is in that pond.

You're missing out the point, going with that analogy, OLD is like having nothing but dirty muddy ponds to fish in though, where you can't see beyond the murky water, and you'll likely fish a lot of shitty fish. Think my analogy is bad faith? Sure, so is this take, and so is your activity in this group, but if you're going to be overly reductive with something, I'll do the same.

Going back to the whole “Women wont say what they really want in a guy”. Well, did you think about the types of women you wanted? Are you asking the types of women that you want what they want in a guy?

Again, both yes. You're underestimating the sheer amount of women who don't know what they want in general, or don't care to ask it...

This also goes with the kind of behavior guys complain about seeing from women. Like how women will say one thing and do another. Because you like fickle women.

Once again, deflection. Who in gods name says they like fickle anyone, unless if maybe they have serious self esteem issues? Being inconsistent =/= fickle eiter, I don't think you know what fickle means...

And most likely women with conviction aren’t interested in you. And honestly, you most likely wouldn’t be interested in them because their standards for sex are probably higher than you care to deal with.

"if women are inconsistent, you somehow picked them, and if they're not, they won't be interested in you anyway, because men like you only want sex anyway"

you are a forest of bad faith takes

And again, location, location, location. Because if you’re trying to find a smart girl at the club, you’re a moron. People don’t go to the club for intellectual conversations. Also, I guarantee the guy in the video would probably have better luck on Tinder and not an app that says “our goal is for you to delete the app”.

He didn't go to the club, it was a video entirely about OLD, the only moron here is you therefore

P.S did you even watch the video? he specifically put in short-term to long term dating not (just) short term... At worst you could say he's being 'too broad' but this is not the same thing as saying he's (only) going for short term...

Ferfemto · 2026-07-15T07:54:34+00:00

Well, yes, in any field, it's useful to understand what you need and where and how to find it. This applies to dating and... well, even fishing! You need different gear for rudd and pike, actually.

And for everything other than dating, this seems like an obvious truism.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-07-13T21:02:50+00:00

The vast majority men aren’t looking for any particular type of woman they do not have the options to realistically find that in their lifetimes, so using any guy that is as an example can’t be representative of any significant portion.

Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them.

Comments

They dont take responsibility when theyre the problem.

Title	Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	144
Date	July 13, 2026 6:05 PM UTC (1 week ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uvj76d/dating_would_be_alot_easier_for_men_when_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-would-be-alot-easier-for-men-when-they.1584958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584958