Fantasy vs Reality

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-09-18T17:12:00+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.

what does "allowed" mean? does it mean "should it not be met with female disapproval, horror, disgust, fear, creeped-out-ness, etc"?

because i promise you you're"allowed" to have any fantasies you want, and youre "allowed" to talk about them, but youre not "allowed" to not have people react negatively if thats their response

sublimemongrel · 2018-09-18T17:18:53+00:00

“Without being chastised” no, that’s not how stuff works. “Allowed” as in not like prosecuted or thrown into a mental institution or something, sure.

Also yeah I might be kinda scared of a dude who has fantasies of wanting to rape women.

Bekiala · 2018-09-18T18:10:04+00:00

Sigh. this question coincides oddly with this mornings news. I suppose if someday women are not so commonly found raped and dead then maybe a fantasy such as this will not be horrifying to so many.

Healing and peace to the Barquin family. I doubt anyone who loved the victim will ever be okay with rape fantasies.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-09-18T18:37:57+00:00

People can have whatever weirdass kinks they want. It doesn’t signify much significant about the person other than they have a kink. If assume someone is dangerous because of what they fantasize about, you may as well fear people that read Stephen King or watch horror movies or listen to death metal.

Humans are fascinated by visceral things. The fact that they’re visceral inherently means they inspire visceral feelings, which are fun during sex. It’s only a problem if you force your fetish on people that don’t want to participate in it (which includes telling people about it when they don’t want to know.) But that’s already covered by standard social laws, so I already see no problem.

yasee · 2018-09-18T18:49:43+00:00

it's ok to have weird fantasies but you absolutely should expect people to be skeeved out if you share them in public. Yes I'd probably be nervous around a man who told me he had straight up rape fantasies; less nervous if he's just into being dominant in bed. Still a weird thing to share in most contexts though

Texastentialism · 2018-09-18T17:15:25+00:00

Do you or would you fear a man who fantasizes about these things

I'm lowkey afraid of all men because I know on some level they all have fantasies and proclivities that are gross and frightening. I accept this and don't let it dictate the way I live my life or anything, but yeah, there's an (usually subconscious) undercurrent of fear there, and I think that's true of most women.

If a man TOLD me about his rape fantasies then yeah, that would be frightening because that's an extremely socially off, borderline threatening thing to do. Men should keep their gross thoughts in their heads. Barring that, he can go find one of those thousands and thousands of women with rape fantasies that I'm always hearing about and knock himself out. Leave me out of it, thanks.

Truedemocracy4 · 2018-09-18T19:20:16+00:00

Lol all women have rape fantasies. This is a huge red pill that many refuse. Every women I take back and own absolutely loves it.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-09-18T17:49:03+00:00

Most men don’t have rape fantasies. They have dominance fantasies.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-09-18T17:22:59+00:00

Do you or would you fear a man who fantasizes about these things

I made a thread about this and they were lol. It's just a fantasy bro is a crock of shit and they know it

are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

They're normal

BirdManBrrrr · 2018-09-18T17:32:50+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.

This is silly, how do you regulate what goes on in somebody's head? There's a clear delineation between fantasy and acting on the fantasy, the latter of which is the problematic one if that fantasy is harmful.

are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

I presume they just want to be dominated, and by dominated I mean DOMINATED by someone expressing just raw power and desire towards them. Maybe the "climb in my window at 2 AM and leave bruises while you fuck me" thing is a little strange but people are into all sorts of weird shit and doesn't necessarily mean they're damaged.

This is different than the dom/sub "yes sir" shit being ordered around, obviously, which is a different dynamic altogether.

quotient_is · 2018-09-18T17:55:12+00:00

People are allowed to fantasize however they want.

The fear is that men who learn how to socialize and develop relationships via supplicating AI "women" sex machines may also treat actual women like objects. I can see why that's a concern, particularly for young men of the future who might grow up just casually owning one.

Learning how to interact with women via an AI catered exactly to one's own personal desires would set men up to fail miserably with human women. It's bizarre to me that these bots are sometimes thought of as practice tools.

We should have similar concerns about AI for women. It probably won't be sex-centric, but it will create similar issues with their development.

Do you mean rape fantasies or fantasies about owning a woman the way he would own a doll?

Both would probably creep me out. There are some sexual fantasies that you just don't share, or at least only share with a life partner.

It also depends on how those fantasies are shared. Rough sex with my husband is great. If my husband said "I want to rape and hurt and own you and keep you from having any personal thoughts or desires", I would be seriously freaked out.

I can't imagine there would ever be a thriving market for lady rapin' AI, by the way. Men are much more interested in owning literal sex objects than women are interested in being faux raped.

darudeboysandstorm · 2018-09-18T19:07:00+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.

Sure, why not. Can't dictate fantasies.

Do you or would you fear a man who fantasizes about these things

If I found out about it 2 seconds into knowing him I'd be out. But as far as fantasies themselves go, if it wasn't a hopelessly tragic reveal from someone I barely knew, I'd honestly prefer that (as consensual non consent) than someone turned on by being in diapers, furries, "clop", sex dolls, or scat play. I have an aversion that's actual disgust for everything kink that's cartoon/infant/shit related so maybe it makes sense I'd be into potential violence more. Though I realize that's not everyone, all of this is highly individual.

This whole fantasy thread of thought is interesting to me as it relates to N-count. People get so hung up on the numerical value for reasons, but I wonder if the "damage" that comes from it being high stems more from a lack of discernment and willingness to be someones fucktoy just because you're willing to smash parts with them rather than knowing them, built trust, etc. Back to the fantasy thing, it's 100% always going to take time to push a woman's boundaries without terrifying them or risking them bailing. Even if you have the tightest fuck game in the world, a low EQ and deficiencies in relating is going to make you strike out. Which brings us to the mystery of why a "lowly" 4 would turn down a 8+ "Chad." Women generally aren't stupid, and nobody wants to be the shortcut to the cum dumpstering of his dreams. Even when they're looksmatched, fantasy isn't purely physical, you're in that person's head now. How you act and how they react will have consequences good or bad. Avoiding "bad" can be self preservation on a woman's part if she's isolated and the level of trust required for the ask doesn't match the reality of the relationship.

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Electra_Cute · 2018-09-18T17:12:42+00:00

I see no reason why people can not hold any fantasies they want to as fantasies - if harmful - are recognized as only fantasies and they have no intention to.

Do you or would you fear a man who fantasizes about these things

Would I be afraid of a male that has a fantasy of raping women? What kind of question is that?

when I saw openly I mean discuss without being chastised

People have a right to be disgusted by paraphilias, preferences and fantasies.

abaxeron · 2018-09-18T18:38:50+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies

Yes

(openly)

Fuzzy ground. If I watched too much "The Golden Voyage of Sinbad" in my childhood and ended up growing into an adult who has a quite innocent fantasy of being pinned down and owned by a magically animated six-armed stone statue with awesome boobs, I'd prefer not to scream about it on every corner. Some things, while not evil, are just weird. "Openly" is a fuzzy term.

are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

AWALT. Dealing with women is always a minefield. Mitigation of risk by filtering out girls with rape fantasies seems miniscule.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2018-09-18T19:34:25+00:00

I did a little kink shaming yesterday in another thread about women's rape fantasies, but it was just to make a point about something else, and ruffle a few feathers back.

Like you said (or I think you said) I'm usually the one surprised by what they want in bed. Women are often more demanding than me. They wanna be choked, spanked, all that jazz.

Finding out a woman has some sort of rape fantasy isn't a deal breaker, just makes me want to hear more about her past to see if it sounds benign, or if there's more that together with it looks like danger danger in her psyche.

I just think it's funny that "all men are seen as potential rapist, and dangerous" and it's perfectly ok for them to make that assumption... But to spin anything as a bad assumption about women and "oh hell no- you are overreacting, women are all perfectly normal. How dare you!"

LewisCross · 2018-09-18T19:56:20+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.

Yes. what atlas said.

Bonus question for men

>are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

Not necessarily. The fact a woman has a rape fantasy doesn't mean she's damaged goods. Damaged women don't all have rape fantasies (most do, though).

I'd bet anything that nearly all women have sexual fantasies, not necessarily involving rape.

WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2018-09-18T20:07:39+00:00

Sex bots aren't a power fantasy, men just want sex all the time so if the bot never refuses then men get more sex.

Whisper · 2018-09-19T01:39:40+00:00

Should men be allowed to ~~have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.~~ control their own thoughts?

How do you plan to stop them?

are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

If all goods are damaged, none are.

brokegradstudent93 · 2018-09-19T12:40:18+00:00

I think this all depends on your definition of rape fantasies. I think it’s all mostly dominance fantasies which I couldn’t care less about. But if a guy told me he actually fantasized about violently raping women I’d be crazy not to be a little frightened. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

ferretsRfantastic · 2018-09-18T18:02:29+00:00

Men are already 'allowed' to discuss these things and people are 'allowed' to me disgusted, appalled, or turned on by him. Hell, I'm a woman with 'rape' fantasies but I don't even tell my partners that, let alone strangers and I'm not even doing the 'raping' in the fantasies. Although, would like to point out that these fantasies don't constitute what 'real' rape would look like, versus ravishing my body from an extremely attractive partner.
Probably, yes. Like I said, you'd have to be pretty damn bold to talk about that in normal conversation. If it was my boyfriend, he would have a lot more lee way and I'd actually like some context for the fantasy. Does she hate it the entire time and begging you to stop? Or is it a 'please, don't do this' and then gives into it completely and enjoys it? I think it makes a difference.
Nah

red_matrix · 2018-09-18T19:19:43+00:00

This is a big question concerning the use of child sex dolls for pedophiles. Some people think it will prevent real child abuse, others think it will perpetuate child abuse.

VDKay · 2018-09-18T20:30:12+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.

I don't understand what "allowed" means. I'll assume that you mean allowed to openly discuss rape fantasy with his partner. Now I see little harm in that. Fantasies and kinks are the salt and spice of a sexual relationship. Keep in mind that actual rape is not some idealized situation that you sexually crave. Actual rape is scary and traumatic. For the man is very different too. It is one think to roleplay a rape scene with your GF, and another to fuck a girl against her will with a shitload of reprecussions.

Do you or would you fear a man who fantasizes about these things

If I was a woman, I wouldn't fear him. Maybe he is into this type of kink. Maybe if I was as well, we would have a really good time roleplaying. Unless he is mentally unstable of course. That's when it becomes scary, and rape may be the least of your concerns then

are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

Same with men. A women with a fantasy is just that. A woman with a fantasy. As I said, a fantasy is miles away from reality. And it may account for some fun time together and allow to explore each other's sexuality.

Skratt · 2018-09-18T21:03:02+00:00

I could care less.
I could care less about em.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2018-09-19T08:33:23+00:00

In answer to your question “Do you or would you fear a man who fantasizes about these things”, that certainly requires context.

If a casual acquaintance or non sexual friend of the opposite gender revealed this, I would think he not only had rape fantasies but also has boundary issues. And that’s not a good combo.

If an LTR expresses interest in some mild CNC, that a different issue. Still never going to be my cup of tea but I won’t run for my gun.

CatchPhraze · 2018-09-19T13:23:19+00:00

Everyone should be as kinky as they want as long as they practice discretion and informed concent with the person or people involved.

Unless the person has concented to talk about or engage in your kink, leave it alone. If they have agreed to that talk, have at it.

Tishkaminx · 2018-09-19T16:33:49+00:00

Yes, rape fantasies, rough sex leanings and bdsm interests are a nope for me.

abicus4343 · 2018-12-17T20:00:55+00:00

In what world are we policing people's fantasies? Men can fantasize about whatever they want for all I care.

As far as sex bots go, I could care less about those either. Any man that wants a non-sentient being that is incapable of love or connection on a higher level then just the physical can have at'er, I'm not interested in those men, they weed themselves out of the dating pool. Sex bots also may be the final answer to sex trafficking, sex slavery and peadophilia, fine by me.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-09-18T17:32:38+00:00

are women with rape fantasies damaged goods

Typical women aren't damaged goods.

officerkondo · 2018-09-18T17:54:42+00:00

Should men be allowed to have fantasies(openly) of power and dominance perhaps even rape, if they are never going to act on them in a real environment.

What does this even mean? How do you propose to allow or forbid a person from having a given thought?

Belt_Around_Ur_Neck · 2018-09-18T18:21:55+00:00

Everyone here is so sheltered it's hilarious.

So I have a profile on Fetlife. I'm a Dominant Male (Primal subtype). I have quite a following.

The number of women into Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) is staggering. There are entire communities, very heavily populated I might add, all about CNC or rape play.

Of course, no one really wants to be raped. What these women want is also known as Total Power Exchange. All control given to the Dom; total carte blanche.

As someone who has attractive (and unattractive) women beg him to rape them on the regular, I can tell you that living that fantasy in a safe environment with a man who they want to "rape" them is a very common thing. There is nothing wrong IMO with any of it.

From what I see (on there at least) the vast majority of women are sexually submissive. They want to give themselves to a man that makes them melt, and trust that he has the balls to use the fuck out of her.

Bonus Answer: Women that want this are not damaged at all. In fact, I'd wager that most straight women want this or something close to it.

Title	Fantasy vs Reality
Author	darudeboysandstorm
Upvotes	2
Comments	142
Date	September 18, 2018 5:07 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9gwpbu/fantasy_vs_reality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/fantasy-vs-reality.260781 https://theredarchive.com/post/260781

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