Guys should become Feminine

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-10-27T17:11:54+00:00

Women still aren't attracted to feminine men or men they see as "feminine".

There is a reason why we are told that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. But the second a man is a stay at home dad, he is considered a bum.

p_fulga · 2025-10-27T17:35:07+00:00

What exactly do you.. mean by masculine and feminine? Like traditional roles? Appearance? In terms of appearance, I'm a pretty femme gal most of the time and my tastes are also feminine people, guys and gals. I don't really think in terms of that sort of thing you absolutely have to have opposites.

DenverKim · 2025-10-27T18:07:45+00:00

Feminism is absolutely not about women trying to become “men like“. It’s about women having the freedom to do whatever they want to do, just like men do… it’s about women not being viewed as property, about having the same rights under the law that men do and the ability to choose how they want to live their own lives. That doesn’t mean they are trying to be like men.

And guys should absolutely not become feminine unless they naturally want to become feminine. Everyone should just do whatever the hell they want to do as long as they aren’t harming anyone else and if other people don’t like it, then they don’t have to hang out with them.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-10-27T17:19:22+00:00

If being a femboy is what you’re passionate about, and you can pull baddies like that, then please write your own version of the Red Pill. It’d be the best read I’d ever have in my life.

The juxtaposition of a cute boy in a dress next to his 10/10 wife arguing with Andrew Tate about pickup artist materials would be legendary.

Tylikcat · 2025-10-27T17:56:40+00:00

So, I'm a lot of things that are "male" coded. I'm a CS Prof and roboticist. I'm a martial artist and martial arts instructor. I'm very mechanically inclined and good at fixing things, and an effective leader. (Though I'm selective about what leadership positions I'll take on. Many are major time sinks.)

None of this makes me masculine. Your gender roles didn't reflect some kind of objective reality.

ThatBitchA · 2025-10-27T17:58:40+00:00

How is feminism "mostly women trying to be men?"

Men don't have monopoly on wearing pants, having jobs, driving cars, etc.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-10-27T19:55:53+00:00

Relationships are the joining of polarizing forces: the masculine and the feminine. Otherwise it’s just a friendship.

This is so patently not included in the definition of relationship and friendship that I assumed this whole post would just be ragebait. But you made some other points we can take more seriously.

NOTE: this reminds me of the old stereotype about homosexual relationships, that there is always a butch and a femme. Homosexuality is a lot more visible than in the era that spawned this notion, and I don't think many people who are actually exposed to it believe it anymore.

Feminism is mostly about women trying to become men like, whereas the counter doesn’t exist

I don't believe in the masculine-feminine binary. And I think modern feminism is more interested in ditching that way of thinking altogether than becoming masculine. But sticking with it anyway as terms of convenience, I would argue that the counter does exist. Many men have become less traditionally masculine, or more traditionally feminine. The "performative male" thing you mentioned is an example, but it's hardly a new one. I can look 20 years back into my own dating career and see its beginnings in early 2000s hipsterism and "metrosexuals."

It's just not a movement. I have argued for decades that it should become one. All of the men I closely associate with have two things in common: they are less traditionally masculine than the average man, particularly in realms like style, communication and perspectives; they are all much more successful with women than the average man.

performative guys have it easier.

And just to be clear about the subject, we should note that "performative" implies inauthenticity. That kind of man is simply pretending to be atypical. In my experience, that's pretty rare and, thanks to tik tok trends, becoming overdiagnosed.

Most of the men who appear to fit the performative male stereotype are, in fact, just deep down about that life. They're not playing a role. Quite the contrary, they feel freed from having to play the opposite one.

All that aside, I think men should pick whatever lane they feel comfortable in and master it. Diversity is to our benefit. It really won't do any good to be "not like other guys" once every other guy starts trying to do the same.

Combatenjoyer23 · 2025-10-27T17:14:17+00:00

Yeah I don't know about this boss. Aren't women complaining en masse that "men aren't men anymore" or some shit? I think feminine in this context basically means being passive, not taking initiative, kind of just expecting to be taken care of. The vast majority of women fucking hate that in men. The performative/laid back/easygoing males are usually handsome/charismatic/fun enough to get laid but those relationships rarely work out, especially when finances become strained and hard decisions need to be made.

HighestTech · 2025-10-27T17:13:33+00:00

Guys should become even more masculine to compensate rise of masculinity in women. The quickest way to make her dry is becoming too soft and comfortable.

SurroundWide447 · 2025-10-27T17:45:43+00:00

I think there's an argument to be made that women have largely incorporated masculinity (I mean from the Hindu perspective when talking about these things) well into their lives now. And it's not coming back. For the better I might add.

I think men do need to incorporate more femininity to balance this all out. Learn to be in tune with their emotions, learn to care and put importance on social support groups, be expressive emotionally, talk about feelings and try to talk about those problems with women, be kind and gentle, etc... Women are largely dissatisfied with marriages and I think it's because men have largely gotten away with being really emotionally stunted for too long.

it's hard because extreme masculinity is needed to attract women to begin with but the other stuff is more important in the long term

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-10-27T17:57:52+00:00

No, guys should become white pilled. Give up on women and embrace celibacy.

TrumpFucksKidz · 2025-10-27T18:50:57+00:00

Lol yeah, that's a great idea. (Not)

growframe · 2025-10-27T19:00:07+00:00

Women don't like feminine men.

You do realise the whole point of the performative male thing is that it's performative, right? A masculine man performing the aesthetics of femininity. That's the appeal, not the man being feminine.

GloeSticc · 2025-10-27T23:56:06+00:00

I've been thinking about this recently because I never considered myself masculine or "one of the boys" yet I've also had no experience feeling feminine or "a girly."

You're right about the fact that scarcity creates demand. You're also right that as society becomes more individualized, it's helpful to have individual strength (which is the masculine stereotype). I would actually argue that women that DON'T adopt a more stereotypical masculine set of values and behaviors will detriment their life in 2025. Obviously there are exceptions but this is the trend I see.

I actually grew up with my mom being the masculine figure in my life, and my father being the more feminine figure. They're still happily married. That doesn't mean anything, but I can't help but think that a dichotomy of traits will create a more compatible relationship (as long as they value similar things tbh).

Trancetastic16 · 2025-10-28T01:46:15+00:00

You need to define masculinity and femininity more clearly.

If by “masculine”, you mean women pursuing more higher education/careers - I disagree that this is masculine, but for the sake of the argument we’ll specifically talk about the women who would define it as a traditionally masculine behaviour and societal role that they are choosing to undertake.

With that all taken into account, I disagree, and these are my arguments:

Most women who pursue higher education and careers do not see themselves as masculine, but empowered feminine women.

These women generally want even more masculine men to outdo them, which includes the male gender role of men being capable of fulfilling a Provider role to make them feel feminine in contrast.

Most women aren’t attracted to femininity in men, and statistically most women still expect the man to be the primary breadwinner and this is reflected by the lack of acceptance for stay-at-home Husbands.

And 63% of women won’t date a Bisexual man, even many Bisexual women (20% of Gen Z women are LGBT) most likely the biggest reason being that Bisexual men are less likely to fit traditional male gender roles.

How much all of this is biological versus societal is up in the air, but while it would take egalitarian social changes over the course of generations, young Caucasian women, who are the most highly desired demographic in western societies and have the most influence over our dating culture - clearly don’t want to change things.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-10-28T10:08:52+00:00

You got it wrong my friend. You don't automatically assume feminine virtues by practicing anti-masculinity.

Some of the masc/fem characteristics are physical or presentation, but others are actually just adulting skills, somewhat arbitrarily coded as masc and fem. But the real polarity is between being a little boy or girl vs. man or woman. See what I mean?

What I might agree with though is that men might benefit from adopting some feminine flair sometimes, learn hosting and care skills that are more typically seen as feminine.

If anything it weeds out bad dates, very effectively.

A guy I used to know is campy as hell, a bisexual. But he's also hot and a small business owner. You better believe he pulls interest from random women, like holy shit!

And I bet the women he befriends or even dates may have better personality on average.

SexCrispies · 2025-10-28T10:46:49+00:00

The decline in relationships are primarily due to more and more people men and women, opting to become masculine

Source needed.

In a evermore individualistic world, masculine traits are rewarded

How so? Rewarded by whom and with what?

An antidote to this is the performative man. Since more and more women are masculine, an easy way for guys to cater the dynamics is to just become a feminine man.

You would first need to show that the performative feminine man has a higher chance to get what he wants, than the man who stays true in behavior to his personality. The performative man is still masculine in personality, but just pretends to be more feminine (to stay in your line of argument. I do not think that the performance is regarding femininity).

Being a masculine now is too mainstream and saturated

It was never less mainstream to be masculine as a man. There is a lack of masculinity. A crisis of masculinity. That leads to low mating success of non-masculine behaving/performing/being men.

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berichorbeburied · 2025-10-27T18:42:13+00:00

All you have to do is out masculine women

This is a fact if you out toxic masculine women they will just turn hyper feminine but only for you.

They are not men. They are performing as what they think manhood is. From self independence. To being stoic. To not being emotional. They are just copying

But usually when pressure comes. They “bitch up” and become the women they always were

Also the agreeable women who are submissive that are open are already gone. If it was that easy. She is already with someone. Makes no sense that she would wait specifically for u. If she’s so submissive and agreeable. Then she would be with anyone

What’s left is essentially the women that want to be single. Or are hard to deal with. Or are unwantable. Etc etc

Yes women are more masculine. But it’s all a shit test

Ask any women will you provide for a man and he brings nothing at all to the table to uplift you. Will you let him lay down during sex and do nothing and you always perform. Will you always initiate and try to entertain and progress and try to fix the relationship. Will you take all the negatives and flaws of a person even though eventually you will no longer be attracted yet you stay as a sense of duty

The answer would be a lot of no’s

These women aren’t masculine. And you telling men to be bitches. Won’t help them

Idrc if they do or don’t act like pussies. But don’t try to gaslight me into entertaining that idea

PrecisionHat · 2025-10-27T22:56:47+00:00

It's a lot harder to let the girl take the wheel than you think, though. Don't believe me? Advertise yourself as a willing house husband and see how many girl bosses put a ring on it lol.

MisterFunnyShoes · 2025-10-27T17:25:31+00:00

Sure. As long as the dude doesn’t care about getting his sick wet.

Title	Guys should become Feminine
Author	cs_throwawayyy
Upvotes	0
Comments	75
Date	October 27, 2025 5:04 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ohk2ft/guys_should_become_feminine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guys-should-become-feminine.1565155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565155

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