I'll often see women attacking men for "wanting a virgin but not being one themselves". I will argue that it is not hypocritical, and offer a counter-example of when it would become so.

The reason it isn't hypocritical is that your partner does not need to have the same standards as you!! If the woman in question does not care if you're a virgin or not (and it is generally preferable that you not be one when it comes to men) why would it matter if you are one or not?

The people attacking the men who want a virgin are actually the ones imposing arbitrary requirements on others. "If you want X, then so must your partner". See how ridiculous that sounds?

As an example from a female PoV, most women want a successful guy who is mentally strong and has a good social network. Most men, on the other hand, could not give two fucks if the woman they're dating is broke, has crippling anxiety, and has no friends, if she's hot enough. If that woman holds the men up to the aforementioned standard of being successful, stable, and a good social network, while not being in such a position herself, she is not a hypocrite simply because most men do not have the same standards for her.

Now, the point when it would become hypocritical is if the other person in question did have the same standards, and then you complained about it. Like if the man was rejected by a woman for not being a virgin, it would be hypocritical if he complained about it, while having the same standards.

Similarly for the woman from the example. If a man rejected her for being broke and not having friends, she has no right to complain if that's the standard she holds the man up to.

tl;dr:

Man wants virgin, is not one himself. Woman does not care -> not hypocritical

Man wants virgin, is not one himself. Woman also wants a virgin, so she rejects the man. Man complains -> hypocritical

Woman wants a successful man, while not being one herself. Man does not care -> not hypocritical

Woman wants a successful man, while not being one herself. Man wants a successful woman, so he rejects her. Woman complains about it -> hypocritical