If men understood having a victim complex is "feminine", very few of them would have it.

BrainMarshal · 2026-07-02T15:26:31+00:00

No, if we realized what you want us to realize, we would ALL stop dating. Immediately.

Ok_Cook_3098 · 2026-07-02T11:37:49+00:00

I dont think emotions and similiar are a gendered thing

SmertriosPPD · 2026-07-02T22:51:00+00:00

Thanks lilith for propagating patriarcal values.

Terrible_Mixture_759 · 2026-07-02T13:45:03+00:00

This is straight up, on it's face, anti-feminist.

beautiful_falcon776 · 2026-07-02T14:26:57+00:00

You want men to open up while also simultaneously placing them as feminine. That's an odd thing to do as a woman.

Can we get over the gender roles already 🤷

Professional_Bat8585 · 2026-07-02T12:53:22+00:00

"Men are forced to chase the masculine standard"

"Feeling a victim is a woman thing"

Holding both of these ideas make no sense for a man who keeps feeling like a victim.

Your deduction fails because you reduced #2 into something inaccurate. It may be more accurate to say that, “socially, women benefit more from framing themselves as victims to extract sympathy and resources, while men benefit more from framing themselves as masters in control of their environment, which gives them greater standing and exposes fewer vulnerabilities“.

I know feminists have a red-alert issue with men being framed as possible victims of non-patriarchal systems, or that they could have less privilege than women in certain ways. Which is why there’s all this hooting and hollering about how dangerous incels are. This screams like one of those posts.

Straight men, continue to express how you feel and what bothers you. In this era of social change, there’s no reason you should be the only demographic who’s opinions about society are unwelcomed and silenced.

IgorXY · 2026-07-02T11:42:56+00:00

I mean, understanding something is not necessary a key to getting rid of it. It's not a surprise to anyone how society and especially women feel about men's problems. But you can't dangle sex carrot on a stick "if you don't do X you will be attractive" anymore because we know it is a lie. If you can prove it to me, I will change my mind.

Happy cake day.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2026-07-02T15:57:59+00:00

the issues then is that the masculine ideal is still both upheld and getting more and more difficult to achieve by the day. yet at the same time women themselves are becoming less and less of what men want at the same time.

also realize that any conversation like this in reverse about what real women are and what real women should do in a relationship will gets ad hominems thrown at the asker, but at the same time we have to consistently hear about what real men are and what they have to provide and need to do in order to be considered as such.

rules for thee and not for me mentality, we could never have panelist and groups holding mainstream meetings, create mainstream podcasts or write mainstream articles about how it's increasingly difficult to find women who are feminine, submissive, fit, virgins or whatever that would look like. yet continuous talks about how men need to be better is just the norm.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2026-07-02T15:38:16+00:00

more real men have to do ABC to be consisted men bullshit. and again it often comes from the progressives. gender roles are a thing of the past people (but they only mean womens ofc) imagine if we actually held women to similar standards.

Narrow-Broccoli531 · 2026-07-03T19:10:46+00:00

You're being kinda misogynistic.

I agree that male victim complexes are embarrassing and ridiculous, but you need to shit on women to communicate that

JonMyMon · 2026-07-02T14:44:21+00:00

A victim complex is an irrational understanding of what's happening. It's not the same thing as airing legitimate grievances. These men don't think they're being irrational. Nobody ever does. So, your post is confused. "Whiny man child" are shaming words to get men to shut up.

Sensitive_Housing_85 · 2026-07-02T11:43:49+00:00

Being a victim is not the same as acknowledging problem, being a victim is asserting that you can't do anything about the problems, not talking about it and handling it yourself is doing something about it

JamesCruse · 2026-07-02T12:59:54+00:00

Yeah, if women understood that "the girl who cried wolf" as a collective categorisation by men is already happening - they'll understand that almost all victimhood claimed by western women in future will be ignored, ridiculed, punished or worse.

Hopefully, women will wise up and be alot more selective when claiming victimhood in future and other women will need to police it, before it's too late.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2026-07-02T11:41:36+00:00

You’re conflating vulnerability with a victim complex. Those aren’t the same thing. A man can acknowledge that life has been unfair, talk about his struggles, or point out societal issues without believing he’s powerless or refusing responsibility. A victim mentality is a mindset, not simply expressing hardship.

The confusing part is that men are often told they need to open up more, but when they do, they’re frequently accused of “playing the victim” if what they’re saying isn’t well received. Which is it? Should men be honest about their experiences, or should they keep them to themselves? There has to be room for healthy vulnerability without labeling it a victim complex.

You also generalized women by saying they can “get away with having a victim complex” because it’s a feminine trait. If broad generalizations about men are acceptable, then it seems odd to object when someone points out that broad generalizations about women are also being made. I’d rather judge individuals than assume an entire sex shares one psychological trait.

AutoModerator · 2026-07-02T11:31:48+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2026-07-02T11:31:48+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

PendingDecision · 2026-07-02T14:26:19+00:00

A victim complex isn't feminine. Anyone can develop one. But if it becomes your identity and affects every aspect of your life, it's an unhealthy psychological problem that should be treated, regardless of gender.

Mobrowncheeks · 2026-07-02T15:26:11+00:00

Well. Considering being a victim isn’t a gender issue. That kinda throws this all out the window

b_berry458 · 2026-07-02T11:54:29+00:00

This take is not it. Femininity is not being a victim

MissMenace101 · 2026-07-02T14:00:12+00:00

Yes yes, the poor victims will get violent. Tale as old as time. And they won’t take accountability, you project a lot, why do you want women to take accountability for all men’s poor behaviour? Men are incredibly petty, something they should take accountability for. Yall out here voting to strip women of their rights but it’s the same people that will call you up in the draft. Your Spite also hurts yourselves.

If men understood having a victim complex is "feminine", very few of them would have it.

Comments

Like adults.

Expressing LIKE AN ADULT.

Title	If men understood having a victim complex is "feminine", very few of them would have it.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	150
Date	July 2, 2026 11:31 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ulfnp6/if_men_understood_having_a_victim_complex_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-men-understood-having-a-victim-complex-is.1584106 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584106