Jealousy

teethpeach · 2022-11-18T21:05:57+00:00

I like it when a guy gets a little jealous, it shows that the person is really into you and doesn’t want to lose you to competition. Most men I know love it when women get a little jealous and possessive (keyword: a little, not extremely) because its honestly kinda hot.

If its taken to extremes or is something that is too frequent, then no. I had a particular ex that would get jealous and somewhat sexually ‘aggressive’ whenever other men checked me out or hit on me; we’d get home and the sex would be 🤯. It also happened inversely too, whenever women eyefucked him it sparked my jealousy and I rode him like a bull at a rodeo. A little jealousy never hurt nobody

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-11-18T22:26:28+00:00

My BF is the type who would tell me he wants me to be happy even if it isn't with him, wish me well, and then go home and cry himself to sleep. We can't have that. So I don't want to make him jealous at all.

northernlights190 · 2022-11-18T20:25:41+00:00

Jealousy is an immediate turn-off and red flag for me. Learned that the hard way a long time ago. Never, ever again will I date a man who shows jealousy. Feeling it is one thing — we can’t help how we feel, and it’s a normal human emotion — but if he can’t manage that feeling on his own like a grown-up and it shows itself in his actions, I’m out.

And hell no I don’t “test” it. My longest and happiest relationship was with a guy who showed zero jealousy, and it was wonderful.

rosephase · 2022-11-18T20:35:37+00:00

I'm an adult, I don't play head games with my partners.

I'm non monogamous so I expect all my partners to handle any jealousy they run into with care and respect. Just like I do. I take it as a very bad sign if someone I'm dating can't regulate their feelings well. If they are actively showing me they are jealous (instead of talking about it) then they aren't mature enough to be doing the kind of relationships I do.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-11-18T20:33:21+00:00

Definitely no testing. That's psychotic. My partner sometimes let's a little jealousy eek out but it's tiny. He'll make a comment about some guy waiting for me to be single. But that's the extent.

CimZim · 2022-11-18T20:36:27+00:00

How do you girls think about guys who get jealous?

I think it's a normal human emotion if not taken to extremes.

Do you test a guy you are dating if he gets jealous?

No. How? Why?

Or did you ever do?

Do I get jealous of him, you mean? I used to, yes. Worked through it.

How do you feel about him if he gets jealous or if he doesn't care?

My guy doesn't get jealous, but has said he would if we were in a committed relationship. Not as if he has anyone to be jealous of lol.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-18T20:50:27+00:00

Someone who easily gets jealous wouldn't have a fun time dating me, nor I dating them. I make it clear early on that there are things they just have to trust me with, as I trust them, and that's not changing. I don't need to test them,just tell them then and there they can leave if me having friends or a life of my own is a problem.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-19T01:11:43+00:00

I don’t “test” and I wouldn’t stay long with a man who, for example, doesn’t want me to hang out with my friends without him sometimes because of his own issues. That said, the occasional dollop of mild jealousy or possessiveness can be endearing. Like if your man steps away at a bar or something and another guy tries to pick you up and your man comes back and pointedly puts his arm around you so the other guy gets the hint that you’re together. I can handle myself and I have no problem turning an unwanted suitor away, but still makes me feel loved when my husband is protective.

AGalWithThoughts · 2022-11-18T20:47:02+00:00

My husband is extremely jealous and I love it

dumbbitchcas · 2022-11-18T20:50:39+00:00

I’m very jealous so I don’t really mind it either. I only get bothered when he’s a hypocrite abt it. For example, I wasn’t allowed to be pissed when this guy rambled abt how hot his friends new girl was for 10 minutes, but he was mad when I called his ex hot in passing

pinktuliplover · 2022-11-18T21:55:57+00:00

I think jealousy and protectiveness is very attractive as long as it’s not overdone.

I don’t do tests, but if a situation came up where a guy should be jealous and he isn’t I’d be upset.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-11-19T00:06:11+00:00

It's very catty behavior. Reminds me of an ex gf, I couldn't blink without her bursting into tears. She was jealous 24/7. All jealousy is passive to me, it's about the other man not about me.

I'd prefer a little possessiveness honey, at least I know it's all about me and he's not thinking about another man. The hot ones are the most jealous, they've got a lot issues and fear of measuring up to some other man. The real attractive ones; a lot of them feel ugly so they are always fearing some other man. They'll ask a million and one questions. The possessive ones have a host of other issues, but it isn't measuring up to another man, it's losing the firecracker he's with that drives him mad. Both are awful, but at least one isn't catty about it.

SnooMaps9943 · 2022-11-18T21:46:45+00:00

I hated jealous and possessive men. I felt like they were insecure and I was walking on eggshells

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softkittypinkkitty · 2022-11-18T20:39:00+00:00

Jealousy happens sometimes, you just communicate it with your partner.

I’ve never tested if a guy gets jealous no that’s so stupid

EulenWatcher · 2022-11-18T20:54:57+00:00

It’s okay as long as it isn’t extreme nor affects our relationship negatively. I’ve never “tested” my partner for it, as I’m against mind games in relationships. If my gushers jealous, he usually just gives me a compliment and some kind of tease about a guy liking me. If he didn’t care, I wouldn’t mind it either although total indifference to men approaching me could make me wonder why he was this way.

Eavenne · 2022-11-18T21:07:48+00:00

I'm really not very into it, but it's not a dealbreaker as long as we can talk things out. Yeah, I think I'd prefer if he just doesn't care. And I'm not into playing games with people.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-11-18T21:11:14+00:00

I would expect him to communicate.

“I’m feeling jealous. I trust you and I don’t think you’d do anything, but I’m worried about this or that and I was wondering if we could talk about it.”

In which case I’ll be impressed with his emotional maturity and 100% willing to work with him on the issue.

I completely understand jealousy. I know what it feels like to have irrational feelings. I know what it’s like to trust someone while simultaneously dealing with intrusive thoughts that tell you not to trust them. So I get it. And I can show compassion toward those feelings.

But if he gets aggressive or demanding, or if he acts passive-aggressive, then that’s a massive turn off and dealbreaker.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-11-18T21:11:18+00:00

some small level of jealousy is normal, but he should know and trust me well enough to know that I would immediately shut down anything inappropriate.

sublimemongrel · 2022-11-18T21:35:47+00:00

Yuck yuck yuck

Lykmt · 2022-11-18T22:07:47+00:00

I used to do it but realised how cringe it is when a guy tried to make me jealous lol Just something about seeing yourself/your behaviour from an outside perspective 🤢

LadyTarako · 2022-11-19T01:13:55+00:00

My husband and I are pretty possessive over eachother. But we don’t go out of way to make eachother jealous. That’s weird

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-11-19T01:52:12+00:00

I would never give someone a jealousy test.

I do not feel compatible with people who are overtly or even somewhat jealous. I like to spend a lot of time on my own, I like to go out to goth clubs and dance (when there is not a pandemic on), I have friends of all genders. And while when I go out to the clubs I dance alone (whether or not I'm dating someone, unless the someone I am dating wants to come to the club, then I will gladly dance with them and them alone) I am still going to be writhing in the middle of a charged atmosphere, even if I keep a respectful distance from the other dancers, decline all advances, and never give someone 'the eye'.

I am not going to give these things up; communal dancing even when not touching the other people on the dance floor is one of my favorite things in life, particularly when the DJ is playing something haunted and the dance floor lights are blood red or a perilous looking purple.

I would not date a jealous person because our lives simply would not be compatible.

That being said nobody has ever doubted (that I'm aware of) or had reason to doubt my loyalty. If I agree to be exclusive with someone, I am, full stop.

In fact the opposite of jealousy is sexy to me. When I am out and about with someone who I am exclusively with in some capacity and a random person hits on me, there is something sexy about the slow relaxed, confident way some of the dudes and women I have dated have dropped this kind of crooked smile and said things along the lines of "You got this or you want some backup?" because they know if someone continues to bother me after I politely decline their advance that things will potentially get spicy and they know how devoted I am to being sexually or romantically attentive to an exclusive partner, even if we're only seeing each other casually.

They aren't smug with their confidence in how much I want them and them alone at that time, they're just relaxed.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-11-19T02:08:27+00:00

I wouldn't test a guy, that seems childish and cruel.

Sexual jealousy goes hand in hand with sexual attraction, in my opinion. It's completely normal within limits, women definitely feel it too. I know I do.

Controlling behavior is never okay, however. Honesty amd trust within a relationship are important.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2022-11-19T02:41:58+00:00

Nope, absolutely a deal breaker. A man is of course entitled to his feelings, but that is a type of neurosis I have no patience for.

anon018274031 · 2022-11-19T02:50:09+00:00

I would hope he gets a little jealous as an expression of wanting me. But not to the extent of acting on it

Striking_Builder_380 · 2022-11-19T03:06:31+00:00

Possessive is good, paranoid and insecure is not. A lot of guys don't understand the difference.

ohdiddly · 2022-11-19T03:29:36+00:00

I do not like jealousy. I think it’s a huge turn off if his jealousy is influencing his behaviour rather than rational thought.

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-11-19T03:49:24+00:00

I don't date men who have any jealousy because I lack it myself. I don't want to dare a man who is going to have any jealousy, insecurity or butthurt about my posting sexy dress or physique photos online, about male followers on social media, about if I find other men attractive, etc.

I don't get jealous about other women, never keeping tabs, never want to snoop in electronics, etc. and I demand the same.

I don't see jealousy as any proof that he's invested. I just find it annoying and won't tolerate ANY of it.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-11-19T08:48:31+00:00

I did it as a teen yes, stupid game playing.

I hate it, my ex was super jealous, I couldn’t have jobs if men worked there. Didnt even like me going to my brothers incase I spoke to his room mates.

I will never again put up with that.

FightMeCthullu · 2022-11-19T12:54:51+00:00

So my fiancée isn’t a jealous person at all. It used to piss me off. I didn’t get it.

Nothing would phase him. He never seemed to care. And I thought it meant he didn’t care about me. In truth, he was just so secure of my love for him he never worried. He knew I was obsessed with him. He knew I wouldn’t hurt him. Because he knew I loved him and he trusted me.

When I realised that, when he explained it to me, I started to see it from his perspective. And I’m much the same. I still get pangs of jealousy from time to time but for me, I love him and I know he loves me. I trust he won’t hurt me. I have no reason to be jealous. He never gives me a reason to be. So even my moments of jealousy are short lived and not so intense because why would I be jealous? It’s his ring on my finger. He’s in our bed.

And I love that. We are a passionately and deeply in love and so secure in that love.

No judgement for jealous people. I hope no one gets the impression that k think I’m superior because I’m not. I just know that my jealous came from an unhealthy place. And that I’m happy my partner and I aren’t jealous people Because it works better for our relationship.

rurunoa · 2022-11-19T13:05:45+00:00

im jealous af and i expect him to be jealous

Ppdebatesomental · 2022-11-19T13:33:38+00:00

How do you girls think about guys who get jealous?

I think it’s natural, but not necessarily constructive

Do you test a guy yoi are dating if he gets jealous? Or did you ever do?

No. Play with fire get burned

How.do you feel about him if he gets jealous or if he doesn't care?

A weird combination of flattered that he cares and annoyed that he thinks so little of me that he thinks I would cheat

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-11-19T14:42:57+00:00

I’ve been with a guy who was insanely jealous. To be fair it was because he had been cheated on in that past but he 1000% dumped that baggage on our relationship without cause. Jealous behavior became my biggest red flag because I’d lived through the consequences. My now husband had no such red flags. ✅

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-11-19T18:55:05+00:00

It depends on the jealously. If it's malicious and purposely tearing me down or not letting me do things we can't have that. Or not letting me see my friends or do my hobbies. Getting mad because I am all dressed up for our date night together. No thank you. Getting

But if they hold my hand a little tighter or putting their arm around me if they see a dude checking me out. That's cute. But if it comes from a wholesome place like she's mine. I think it's sweet. I would never do anything to make my partner think someone could swoop me away. He's too pure for this world.

Title	Jealousy
Author	Red_Lynx8469
Upvotes	8
Comments	43
Date	November 18, 2022 7:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yysgia/jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/jealousy.1140288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140288

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