LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

Logos1789 · 2025-08-24T02:56:02+00:00

“Modern Dating Isn’t Natural Selection It’s Sexual Selection Gone Mad. most men can't compete with being everything.”

Reducing today’s dating landscape to “natural selection” is both scientifically inaccurate and intellectually lazy. True natural selection rewards traits that ensure survival strength, intelligence, resourcefulness not just raw physical appearance. In prehistory, men who could hunt, protect, and provide earned reproductive success because those traits had direct survival value.

Modern dating is different. What dominates now is sexual selection, divorced from function a Fisherian runaway where superficial preferences spiral unchecked. Algorithms, dating apps, and social media create an illusion of infinite choice, where even average women can access the attention of top-tier men. This doesn’t select for competence or stability; it selects for aesthetics and status. A six-foot-two man with perfect jaw symmetry and no ambition will often outcompete a normal accountant who contributes more to society.

The popular claim that “it’s always been this way” misreads evolutionary history. While some men historically had more mates, they weren’t chosen for their bone structure; they were chosen for their ability to lead, protect, and provide. Today, those functional trade-offs have vanished, replaced by superficial visual criteria that have no link to survival or social stability.

Worse, this runaway selection mirrors biological cautionary tales like the Irish elk, whose antlers grew so massive from female preference that the species ultimately suffered. Likewise, our obsession with hyper-aesthetic traits fuels loneliness, declining birth rates, and widespread romantic instability.

Appealing to “nature” to justify this system is hypocritical. We intervene in natural processes all the time through medicine, agriculture, and technology because “natural” is not always good. Modern dating is not Darwin’s hand guiding society toward fitter outcomes; it’s an algorithm amplifying shallow instincts. Calling it “natural selection” isn’t an explanation it’s an excuse.

Popeoath · 2025-08-24T07:44:46+00:00

Looks matter a hell of a lot if they decide which guys never get approaches or dating app matches and which do.

Not every guy is some smooth assertive dude or would even enjoy that behavior, looks are critical for the passive guys.

Muscletov · 2025-08-24T14:18:20+00:00

Do you think that part of the extreme harshness women have about men's looks (among other things) is, at least partly, cultural?

I think the main reasons for women's higher standards are natural, but there is a layer of culturally enduced harshness, smugness and disdain on top that can and should be removed the same way men's extreme harshness of the 90s/00s was via the body positivity movement.

I know I'm in a minority, but I do think that movement succesfully lowered men's standards for women. Thinness hype used to be extreme and I actually remember tons of guys my age and up being super critical of women's bodies back then and always found it stupid and unrelatable. Nowadays, men mellowed out a lot, but women, unfortunately, think it's time to get revenge.

Logos1789 · 2025-08-24T20:53:32+00:00

Why is this thread sorted by Best instead of New by default?

Logos1789 · 2025-08-27T00:03:02+00:00

“What do ncls want people to say if the typical advice isn’t good enough or valid to them?”

They want people to stop being anything but than 100% honest with them.

Does personality matter? Sure, but guess what prevents most of these men from demonstrating their personality? Being overlooked or rejected because of their physical appearance and socioeconomic status.

Other than social grace and politeness, the major contributing factor to people’s hesitance to be 100% honest with men is their fear of making women look bad, shallow, vain, etc. and legitimizing some of the controversial talking points of “the manosphere”.

Conceding these points would undermine the recent trend of encouraging men to embrace gender neutral or feminine traits and the notion that much of masculinity is toxic.

If it’s correctly pointed out that women are disproportionately rejecting the men who have adopted these new social standards in good faith, then the only way for women to maintain their narrative of “what women want” is to find fault in the other aspects of these men’s personalities, lest they concede that they were either wrong or more shallow than they were willing to admit.

Even though some of these men would act out anti-socially or violently in the wake of most people finally openly acknowledging their grievances, and even though this is would be a less than healthy manner of coming to terms with their life circumstances, it should be distinguished from generalized poor behavior.

It’s one thing to not get what you want, but being told that you will likely be unable to secure a desirable sexual and romantic relationship with a woman is a fundamental blow to a man’s life purpose.

It should also be noted that many physically unattractive men have maxed out their self improvement, and have their good personality validated by plenty of friendships with women, yet they continue to experience an utter lack of sexual or romantic interest.

This is proof that men’s suboptimal personalities are often used as a scapegoat for their exclusion from sex and dating.

One thing these critics often overlook is that these men didn’t always have a “bad” personality…they have become jaded precisely because either their good personality wasn’t enough to overcome their poor physical appearance, or they have refused to put in extra effort while witnessing handsome men treat women like garbage and still experience sex and romance with those women.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2025-08-29T06:49:35+00:00

I was just watching a video from 1991 of a shirtless Mark Wahlberg (about 5'8" or 1.73) singing "Good Vibrations" in front of a crowd that included a huge number of girls squealing loudly with adoration.

That to me shows that the obsession among some women today (mostly Gen Z, I assume) with only dating men 6' or taller is based on social contagion and clout chasing rather than natural attraction.

Minute_Criticism_844 · 2025-08-23T22:37:27+00:00

I sincerely believe that the ugly husband/boyfriend paired with the hot wife/girlfriend tv trope is largely responsible for men’s belief that that being nice was all they needed to attract an attractive women as an ugly man.

2025-08-29T10:08:59+00:00

You know I wouldnt be redpilled if I hadnt hopped on reddit and seen millions of women hate short guys . Like half the women here specially comment that they wouldnt date short guys and if a women talk about it they talk in a disparaging way or that they were doing a charity . Even in this thread some guy is talking about feeling sorry for short men while a women is hating a short guy just cause he wouldnt date a 300 pound girl . I'm really thankful that I came on social media and the web to see how women really act this otherwise i would still be a bluepill. Around me i have never really seen them dating bad guys (unless they themselves are one) or focus on wealth or even on just the top 10% of guys , heck I have seen a 5'5 guy (the shortest guy I know) having a ltr for the past 4 years with a cute gf. But seeing here and on some meme pages like indianmemes and India memer made me forget all about marrying or being a romantic . Like how many husband's are cheated by thier wives or boyfriends left by thier girlfriend for some rich guy in an arranged marriage who doesn't know she had a past. Better to be alone or get a leg lengthing surgery then be in a relationship. Nope not a woe upon me as im really happy with my life and not really a loner or even a incel(in tne traditional sense) . BTW why are looks stuff banned in a sub about dating?.......

Reasonable_Style8214 · 2025-08-23T17:23:45+00:00

Improving your looks is MUCH easier and MUCH more beneficial to your dating success as a man than improving your finances, it's a no-brainer especially when you're young and guys who listen to RP bs telling them to postpone dating until they "get the bag" are in for a rude awakening.

IgorXY · 2025-08-23T16:08:31+00:00

Hey yo, let's start with something positive this time: what is your favorite part of your appearence? For me it is my left eye, it is a little weird, not really noticeable if you don't know, but it is pretty unique and I am glad I have it like this.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-08-24T06:46:47+00:00

"one man's trash is another man's treasure" is a completely false logic and very often women apply it to men ("if I don't like him, then it's okay, there's someone else for him").

This is of course nice, but I'll upset these people - if you don't like someone, then no one will like them.

Conventional beauty is very universal and even if someone has "different" tastes in personal qualities, even they should still have physically attractive qualities, and often at least a couple of personally attractive qualities

But here there is a real exception for men. I generally estimate that up to 30-40% of men have very strong fetishes and therefore find more types of women attractive (both physically and mentally)

In order to check this quickly, you don't even need to go to porn sites (where there are a variety of even the most unattractive women) so you can go to some kind of chat bot aggregator. For some reason, bots aimed at a female audience are all the same in appearance and even partially in personality. But for men there are a variety of types of appearance and personality

I don't know why this is so

babazuki · 2025-08-23T16:23:25+00:00

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Jackie Kennedy obviously had fetal alcohol disorder, but she was regarded as one of the most beautiful women in her time. It's because of whom she was married to.

meteorness123 · 2025-08-23T19:42:46+00:00

Controversial take but money is so much more important than being good-looking in life. Most people look normal anyway. Money just solves so many problems.

maj_nun · 2025-08-24T05:06:01+00:00

How do you judge your own attractiveness as a woman?

I'm pretty sure I have some kind of facial dysphoria because every time I see myself i'm convinced that i'm the most hideous woman to exist.

I know that realistically I can't be the UGLIEST woman ever, but I still don't know how to judge exactly where I fall on the scale of attractiveness.

Of course, my friends wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, so their opinion doesn't count.

I definitely have received a lot of attention from men, but that is probably due to working in a male dominated field (it's easy to be the hottest woman in the room when you're the only woman).

I also get a lot of likes on dating apps but I assume that can be accredited to the fact that I just have a few pictures of myself that turned out ok. Although they're not edited or anything like that.

I've never been approached in a bar/club. Although I have been approached in public by the kind of guy that triggers your flight or fight instincts.

Also, I generally consider male attention to be useless as it pertains to this subject because I just assume men would fuck anything vaguely female shaped

Educational_learning · 2025-08-24T13:31:21+00:00

I don't date women who aren't my type and women have said l should be honest so l don't waste their time, so ladies if you aren't a hot latina babe with a nice ass then your just wasting my time

Logos1789 · 2025-08-27T08:37:29+00:00

When the importance of sex is being downplayed (examples)

_

not a physical need like air, water, food
should only care about intimacy, not sex
should only care about individuals you’re having sex with, not the sex itself
they may concede it’s important, but assert that it’s overrated or focused on too intensely
they may focus on how it’s unethical to use certain strategies to have sex
asexual people exist
people with lower sex drives exist
“Just get a sex worker” (doesn’t solve the issue, is expensive, is often illegal)
Relationships aren’t “about” sex

_

Some ways to highlight the importance of sex in rebuttal:

_

sexual orientation is a major part of one’s identity and LGBTQ advocacy. While not entirely about having sex, it’s a testament to the importance of being able to express one’s sexuality and to pursue interactions/relationships that enable one to enjoy their sexuality
OnlyFans, phone sex, cam sex, porn etc is a huge industry for a reason and that reason is a carnal desire for sexual gratification, which when unmet is sought to be filled by proxies like the aforementioned services
It’s validating on a primal level, proof of social and sexual value
If access to abortion and other forms of birth control are important, instead of just controlling your sexual urges, then sex is important
One can seek intimacy, even non sexual intimacy, and still have a separate high desire for sex and sexual intimacy, which may or may not be sought through monogamy or committed relationships
Men are attention, touch, and care starved - even if it can be attributed to lack of intimacy among male friends, it’s still reality and we should consider that men don’t want intimacy from men. Perhaps women are more open to intimacy and affection from their female friends because women are generally more attracted to each other than men are, and they desire that closeness

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StonedAlcoholicMidge · 2025-08-23T20:49:32+00:00

Straight question for blue-pill women: what does a 5'3" dude do?

I ain't much admittedly, but I'm a decent enough, mostly well-balanced person. Nothing explicitly off about me afaIk.

I'm on the shallower side of things so I am trying to be someone who doesn't care about looks in a girl. But apart from that, is there anything I oughtta do?

The other chucklefucks needn't answer, tyvm. Only blue ladies.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-08-24T01:49:49+00:00

Q4A: Which male body types do you prefer in bed? Pick as many as you want from either list.

A: https://imgur.com/oIiaqg6

B: https://imgur.com/a/bmIc7N0

ThatBitchA · 2025-08-23T17:26:12+00:00

I'm a dime. Top of the line. Cute face, slim waist with a big behind. 🍑

Pretty privilege does exist. I've definitely benefited from being a pretty woman.

On the other hand, being pretty is very annoying. The constant cold approaching. The assumptions that I'm a bitch because I'm pretty. The idea that I must be humbled often because I can't know or acknowledge I'm pretty.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-08-26T19:37:23+00:00

Someone posted about having preference about body count is the same as having preference about height, and i typed a comment that i couldn't post because post was removed. I did like my comment, feels to good not to share so here:

I will say what i think about body count preference.

Sex is the pleasure. It's one of the easily achieved pleasures, along with food, spending time with friends and so on. And having pleasure should be something you want for a person you like. Having experience so they know what do they like or not. So they can voice that. It should be something preferable. Instead i see men who say that they can fuck but me? god forbid, i wouldn't think of him as the greatest lover on earth, that's unacceptable. So his insecurities more important than me (because he will choose me based on this, i can be anything, 10/10 but with high body count i'm not passing), and his preference is for me to think of him highly than have pleasure and experience in the past. It all screams to me about me being a sex doll, not willing to improve if he is not perfect, being insecure thinking i'm ranking experiences, it's all more important than me. This is why i will never be with someone who needs a virgin or basically a virgin.

The height preference is not that cruel. It's not about "you shouldn't have had some experiences before me" it's not limitation of something good. It is "unfair" as much as we can say about any look preference unfair that out or our control. I will say (as a person who has height preference) that it's a bit of ridiculous one because it's not about how beautiful someone is, or what person he is, or even what he can do, it's just a ridiculous preference that shows nothing. I know that i have it because of social conditioning and with time and experience i care less about it. But it's not really cruel. People just not finding someone that attractive, just like for any other looks reason.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2025-08-28T18:40:48+00:00

Where does the idea that only things that are "controllable" can be selected for/against, or can be found attractive/unattractive come from?

I see this a lot with "I can't control my height, but she can control her weight! 😠😠" Like... And? How does that make either metric inherently less or more attractive? Your height can still be an advantage or disadvantage just like her weight.

What we like and don't like has never strictly been about what we can "control," but for some reason this is used as some kind of "gotcha" for why women's preferences are "unfair." That's not how attraction works for either gender, and what we find attractive has nothing to do with an axis of "fairness" anyway. Height is no more controllable than age, and yet so many men here find that a perfectly valid thing to rule women out of their dating pool for and find women unattractive for.

Educational_learning · 2025-08-25T15:57:17+00:00

Sisters let's have an honest to God discussion but why the fake hair ?

It's getting to a point where l've to ask every sister l date to verify if it's natural or not and if not natural then am afraid we are at a conflict of interest

So just in general out of pure curiosity

meteorness123 · 2025-08-29T21:26:14+00:00

The only men I've seen worry about hair are soft-looking guys with non-athletic bodies tbh. Athletic guys with strong jaw lines are safe

ThatBitchA · 2025-08-27T14:58:33+00:00

Kind eyes are the hottest thing.

A man with kind eyes is a panty dropper.

Title	LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	2
Comments	214
Date	August 23, 2025 4:00 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1my58c0/looks_weekly_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/looks-weekly-discussion-thread.1560273 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560273

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