Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks Discussion Thread

Scarce12 · 2023-05-01T14:45:19+00:00

Men say women AF/BB, and women get mad.

Women say they AF/BB, and men get mad.

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-05-01T11:27:58+00:00

AF/BB is a theory from fuckboys being upset that most people want relationships than to fuck around. That’s all there is to it.

Extra-Flamingo6534 · 2023-05-01T11:19:39+00:00

I only fuck with nice decent people

Bandit174 · 2023-05-01T06:36:00+00:00

was browsing Twitter and found an example of a woman admitting shes much more picky on looks for a short term partner which in my opinion should be common sense and not even up for debate but ppd women continue to want to gaslight us on how af/bb is wrong and that the casual sex partners are not hotter than the boyfriend and husband guys 🙄

WilliamWyattD · 2023-05-01T05:56:51+00:00

PPD is way too polarized with men and women looking to use the worst forms of arguments for easy dunking on the other side.

OFC AF/BB is wrong in many respects. But if you aren't looking for how it is right as well as wrong, you are not honestly engaging with the subject. And you are boring.

NoTea4448 · 2023-05-01T03:13:06+00:00

Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks

I hate this mindset because it creates this fake binary that you can either be her fuckable friend with benefit, or her unattractive reliable $imp.

Like, y'all are aware there are dudes out there that are attractive and are down to settle right? Y'all are aware that it's only a minority of men, that are trying around for their entires lives?

AF/BB is a philosophy made by losers that's used to rationalize their own shitty attitudes.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-30T23:18:45+00:00

After much conversation....

I've concluded that betas don't exist.

What does exist is insecurities and mythical theories to process those insecurities.

There's a mythological fear of "being chosen second," and this fear is where the beta theory is born.

Fascinating mythical lore.

GasolineSmellah · 2023-04-30T22:36:14+00:00

It must be such a pity to be Billy Beta—knowing she settled for you after being ran through by the Brads and Chads.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2023-04-30T22:10:48+00:00

I don't see why you'd want to be the guy who gets a woman's commitment, being the guy she uses for sex is having all of the advantages of a relationship without all the boring stuff and the negatives.

nemma88 · 2023-04-30T20:55:03+00:00

There's enough evidence for something like what TRP says; where I think they go wrong is women don't generally want to LTR a STR prospect (or it wouldn't be called STR selection....), and that a LTR prospect isnt generally attractive sexually as the STR. Maybe one of the worst points of TRP is trying to categorising strictly based on outcome rather than traits.

There's lots of interacting traits and on some versions of TRP this might be called the alpha bucks (or the male unicorn). But I haven't dated anyone I wasn't very* sexually attracted to since my early 20's, and not one of those men wanted to let me go on a STR and wanted more.

'* I want sex more frequently than they do.

moresleepy1 · 2023-04-30T20:32:11+00:00

can someone tell me the tangible benefits of being betta bucks. seriously I am not trying to be snarky maybe I am looking at this incorrectly.

dowehavetoreally · 2023-04-30T19:21:05+00:00

A woman here in PPD just admitted this the other day. She is what I like to call "the rare honest unicorn".

"If the man's SMV is too much higher than ours, we know he has options and the window of opportunity with him will be too short for this strategy. Not putting out will cause him to leave 100%."

This woman is CONSCIOUSLY AWARE that the high-value man has options and will simply go away if made to work. She knows the lower-value guys will "work for it". But, she doesn't want the low value guys.

The big AH-HAH moment here is not that she does this (we already knew this) but the blind spot she and many women have who display this behavior.

"I have to act quickly or else he's going to go somewhere else in short order."

And that is the big kicker. He's going to go somewhere else after he uses her for sex anyways.

The cognitive dissonance comes in if she tells herself:

- it's just for fun

- he MIGHT stick around and become a partner

- she has "no other choice" given the opportunity

What the REAL thought process here, that is veiled with unfettered cognitive dissonance is:

"I can afford to risk getting pregnant by high value men because there are all kinds of thirsty lower value men who will take me in even if I have one or two kids in tow. And there are also all kinds of social safety nets like $10/day daycare here in Canada."

We have to remember: the classic words, after he leaves, is:

"Men are such assholes."

The translation from woman-speak into English is:

(High value) men (who I can't use promiscuity to keep around ) are such assholes (for leaving just because they have better options and I can't cheat to win in the SMP.)

Remember what happens to men when THEY try to leverage themselves in the SMP. They get socially policed for trying, and when they lose in the attempt, they are ridiculed mercilessly. Red Pill just puts the shoe on the other foot here. Nothing more.

meteorness123 · 2023-04-30T17:56:38+00:00

AF/BB is pretty rare. The tactic is used by y a certain subset of women. They're usually pretty hollow and vapid. There are two betabuxx scenarios that are observable in my opinion

1.Woman has no money and the guy has lots of money with the main reason for the woman to be with that man is money. This is the former party girl looking for a meal ticket.

Old guy going for a very young woman -while she is obviously way more attracted to men closer to age

Beta buxxers also usually have dorky personalities and are a little socially unaware.

TheSongsInYourHead · 2023-04-30T17:50:19+00:00

Women that are younger and/or more attractive definitely make different decisions when it comes to who they decide to date.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We all have to adjust to match our circumstances. But, don't the decisions women make when they have the highest bargaining power demonstrate what they really value.

Is it just a coincidence that when women are at their most attractive one set of men is more desirable, then as they age a different set of men become more desirable?

AreOut · 2023-04-30T15:13:47+00:00

it's important to know that RP doesn't blame women for wanting that, it just describes it so you can adapt

I have one comfortable car for long trips and one for the racetrack which isn't comfortable but it's helluva fun.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-04-30T15:02:16+00:00

I don't subscribe to many RP ideas, but is seems pretty clear that some men get sex more easily than others. If that is all that's neant by AFBB then we should be able to agree on it. Where it gets silly is when people suggest a woman having a previous partner that was taller/better looking/girthier is a guaruntee the man she ends up with is going ti get cheated on

0DarkFlirty · 2023-04-30T12:29:27+00:00

https://old.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/qzufyg/nice_guy_sucks_at_being_sexy_and_flirting_which/

I don't like the term AF/BB because life is more complicated. But this is an example of a woman being interested in a dude who she indeed finds physically attractive and being turned off because he's coming across as....

DancesWithMyr · 2023-04-30T11:10:43+00:00

Men's sexual prerogative is multiple partners. This is why Alpha Fucks is seen as more desirable.

Women's sexual prerogative is one stable partner. This is why Beta Bucks is seen as more desirable to them.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2023-04-30T10:54:58+00:00

The most unattractive thing a girl can say to you is

"I want something more"

Barely-moral · 2023-04-30T10:33:51+00:00

To make a long story short.

AF/hookup guy: Is attractive enough to get sex by bringing only his looks and charisma in short term interactions to the table.

BB/marriage material/relationship guy: Is not. So in order to get sex he needs to compensate for his lack by bringing other things to the table. Long term investment, commitment, money, status, comfort, etc.

Men want to be valued in the way AF is valued. It doesn't matter that women say they value BB more. He is not valued in the way men want to be valued.

I have read many times here that women don't feel loved/valued if they are just valued as sex objects. Ok, if that is your case, that is the way a man feels when he is valued in the way BB/relationship guy/marriage material men are valued.

Guilty-Instruction60 · 2023-04-30T09:32:45+00:00

It seems women here are admitting the concept of AF/BB. The issue being emotionalization, which has nothing to do with anything regarding the theory of AF/BB. The RP doesn’t state that AF/BB is bad, right, fair, unfair, good, bad, whatever.

hdjdjr3 · 2023-04-30T06:32:42+00:00

I recently saw a post from r/datingoverthirthy about a woman who complained about fuckboys.

I am not defending fuckboys but she literally choose to have sex with men who did not even care about taking her to a normal date.

It is weird because she knows that to these men she is only valued for sex but she keep dating them despite wanting a serious thing (mind you this is the third guy that does this to her not the first).

Best thing is in the comment there were women who told her to withold sex to manipulate men into a relationship and to go on dates with guys who are not her type (basically they told her to lower her standards).

One woman even advised to just have an attractive FWB (an alpha) to satisfy her and in the meanwhile to search for a good LTR worthy man (aka a beta man) and to withold sex.

It's incredible how much redpilled women are in their 30s.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-30T03:52:54+00:00

Yall mean the thing where men run around dating crazy hot broads as teenagers until their mid to late twenties and then suddenly want to settle down with a stable, beautiful, nurturing (hopefully virgin) good girl? That's real as fuck.

If you mean the idea that women fuck hot dudes until they're run through and then oddly settle down with fugly wealthy dudes that they cuck with the hot dudes until they inevitably leave and take his house, that's a male projection of their own approach to dating.

armpitpics · 2023-04-30T01:03:43+00:00

Every guy I've been with I've slept with within the first a few weeks. I go on dates with the guys I'm interested, but rarely with the guys I'm not interested because with the former I enjoy not only sex, but also their company. This guy isn't "investing" in me, he's spending time with me just like I'm spending time with him. I don't go on dates with the casual sex guy, because I'm not interested in his company beyond sex. This isn't alpha fux/beta bux. This is exactly what men do when with women whose company they enjoy vs. women whose company they don't enjoy.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-04-29T23:37:13+00:00

It's true...to some extent. Some may not admit it but has practiced it subconsciously in one way or another.

pearllovespink · 2023-04-29T22:24:10+00:00

Stupid concept. This is the type of attitude deadbeat fathers and men who wonder why they’re still single at 35+ have.

meangingersnap · 2023-04-29T22:20:19+00:00

How poppin is the discord?

Reptheft · 2023-04-29T22:00:02+00:00

I don't get the confusion about this concept.

AF/BB basically refers to how some men can get laid with significantly less investment than others. If she had a one night stand with some guy but another had to take her out on dates for a month first, that's a light example of AF/BB.

scwizard · 2023-04-29T21:07:15+00:00

I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit.

My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward? — Name Withheld

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/28/magazine/marriage-phone-privacy-ethics.html

Betabux

Old_Speed_7861 · 2023-04-29T20:29:49+00:00

Women get really mad when it gets brought up.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-29T19:51:09+00:00

John Wick is a beta.

He would wait for sex. He would pay for outgoings and gifts.

He's the kind of guy who would send you for a mani/pedi and to meet your girls for brunch. And cover the tap for you and your girls. He'd pick you up drunk from brunch with another surprise and cook you dinner later that night.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-04-29T18:56:15+00:00

There's a lot of exaggeration in the theory but at a base level it definitely exists. Every woman has a guy or guys they are willing to have sex with instantly without any reassurance of safety or comfort.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-29T18:45:29+00:00

Lots of theorizing and zero examples.

How will I ever spot a "beta in the wild" if I don't know what I'm looking for.

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-29T18:28:50+00:00

AF/BB does not exist outside of the theorising of unsuccessful men and as such is fundamentally almost worthless.

Nate_Reborn · 2023-04-29T18:25:47+00:00

I think this could be solved easily if men only focused on women who were actually into them. You guys know you don’t have to settle for women who aren’t into you, right?

dynospectrum7 · 2023-04-29T18:04:03+00:00

If you have 10 minutes and want a HUGE redpill about the CC and AF/BB, search “he touched the butt” from the match made in Manhattan podcast on Spotify.

Listen from the 7:30 - 8 min mark. She talks about how she jumps into bed with whoever , almost talks about her 50 body count.

Then listen to the 53 min mark for the next 10 minutes, she talks about how she dumped a nice man who treats her right. Says she “wasn’t feeling it” after 10 dates. Aka no tingles.

Y’all really think this shit isn’t real?

Environmental_Day558 · 2023-04-29T17:49:27+00:00

I think it's funny how the RP side diss men for being beta bux yet look up to the Leonardo Dicaprio lifestyle of spinning early to mid 20s plates... Bro is the biggest beta buxxer out here lol.

That said I don't see anything wrong with paying to play at a certain point. If I ever get divorced like a decade from now I'd probably that route. Don't feel like doing the whole traditional dating thing again in my 40s, and I make enough so why not.

stats135 · 2023-04-29T17:23:56+00:00

All that really matters is the ordering. Women overwhelmingly get with alphas first then with betas last. Women give their youth to one type of men, and expect another type of man as she gets old.

As a man, all I care about is to be the man that gets the women when they are young and attractive.

IF (and that is a big IF) a woman married a beta at 18yo, and divorced to fuck the alphas in her thirties, I'd willingly be a beta. But it just so happens women generally do it the other way around. They fuck alphas throughout their teens and twenties, and don't even look at betas and marriage til their youth is mostly gone.

TheAutismPill · 2023-04-29T17:22:43+00:00

In the traditional form which is more academically termed the dual-mate hypothesis, it's been largely abandoned as it failed to replicate. Women who are ovulating are just more sexually aroused in general, not specifically by more masculine men. Also the rate of extra-pair paternity is only around 1%, consistent across time and various societies, except africa where it may rise to about 10%.

In terms of the more memey conception of it where women are all hyper-promiscuous but only sleep with 1% of the most physically attractive men (and this part is called 'hypergamy' even though it has nothing to do with socioeconomic class or marriage) and then after they've 'had their fun' and have 'hit the wall' they 'settle down' with some physically unremarkable 'beta' (while the physically attractive guy is an alpha despite supposedly having less status/wealth and thus being lower on the social hierarchy) who provides them with resources in exchange for maybe some obligatory mediocre sex once in a while.. I don't even know where to start.

I guess just with the fact that there isn't data to support it. There's likely no gap in sexual activity among young men and women judging by the most recent GSS survey and the NSFG survey results of the past decade which feature a sample size some 10x higher than the GSS. There's no increasing sexual skew in men either, as in the top 5 or 20% of men are actually having less sex over time according to both of those sources. Even when it comes to casual hookups, young men report at least as much experience with them as women (see the 2017 swiss national survey for example which also shows a similar distribution of male and female lifetime sex partner counts). Then you have STD rates which you'd expect would 1. be much higher among women in general if a majority of them were promiscuous like gay men but only a minority of straight men were, and 2. be rising disproportionately among women since the meme usually claims that this is an increasing trend. Neither of these hypotheses are supported by the data either. Then there's the fact that women don't even orgasm from casual hookups very often compared to in relationships. The idea that they're all constantly thirsting for 'chad cock' is a projection of male sexuality. Only a minority of women are like that, and these women and the promiscuous minority of men are probably hooking up with each other for the most part, which leads to a minority of both sexes having most of the sex. The '80:20 rule' (or whatever the actual ratio is as it's probably not quite that high) is true for both genders.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that physical attractiveness doesn't correlate much with lifetime sex partners in men. Studies generally show a correlation of between .1 and .2. So a lot of physically attractive guys are probably relatively monogamous themselves.

harmonica2 · 2023-04-29T17:22:38+00:00

If a guy thinks he is a beta, but gets fucks even though he is not spending much money, does that make him an alpha?

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-04-29T17:03:04+00:00

What is "bucksing/buxxing"? Can the verb be used in any other context?

JiifuhTV · 2023-04-29T16:54:26+00:00

being a safe option gotta be one of the worst ways to get violated as a man

Novadina · 2023-04-29T16:49:59+00:00

So if I make the bucks, does that mean my partner is alpha?

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-29T16:48:18+00:00

I still don't understand this concept.

Seems like any man happy in a relationship are "beta".

Title	Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks Discussion Thread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	28
Comments	480
Date	April 29, 2023 4:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/132zhmn/alpha_fucksbeta_bucks_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/alpha-fucksbeta-bucks-discussion-thread.1217299 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217299

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