Me IRL | PurplePillDebate

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[–]HeartofDestiny1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

"more exaggerated online" "don't think as many women think like that" Based on what? you replied so quickly and clearly didn't look at a single study. I don't know why people say this. Do you think a short man will do any better in a bar or club? absolutely not it will be even more brutal being towered over by everyone there including the women in their heels. Within a friend group? again height puts a short male at a big disadvantage in comparison to her other orbiters and this "flaw" will need to be "made up for" Well, yes, that's the definiton of fucked, a poor man can become rich, it's just less likely. You're living in a fantasy land because you don't actually have lived experience as a short man, it's like white people saying "well racist ain't so bad anymore, me an my buddies don't hate the blacks"

4'11 man in his 40's will be a decent catch to desprate women that age but his youth would have been a complete shit show.

[–]wtfismylifehelp0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I actually did skim through the majority of the links, however I found from what I saw only three actually came from scholarly sources (one of them doesn't even let you read anything but the abstract) and that basically all of them came from magazines - the worst place to draw your scientific conclusions from. I didn't mention any of them because honestly, the links provided were not really relevant to what I was saying. I agreed that short men had it worse.

It's like white people saying "well racist ain't so bad anymore, me an my buddies don't hate the blacks"

I understand your point, but I think there is a big difference.

1) Black people were literally persecuted, while yes, short people do have it bad, but that's kind of an extreme comparison

2) If someone is saying "In my experience, most white people I know are racist" responding "Well in my experience, most of them aren't" is fine, but the problem is is that it's usually said in response to something like a black person being killed for being black, which in that case experience is irrelevant. But right now we're talking about experience. There is so much literature on how black people have been oppressed, not so much on short people - and the sources you supplied were somewhat lacking.

Edit: grammar

[–]HeartofDestiny1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You're kidding right? heightism is a very known form of oppression that mostly men suffer from. So "but black people have it worse" is not really relevant. Short men are defiantly oppressed all over the world that is not OK.

It's not like you even need studies to understand how short men are oppressed but just in case you're unaware..

Short men get paid less on average, get promoted less, get less respect generally, are often the joke of their "friend group", harder to do jobs such as actor or model, more likely to be harassed by other men, often know as "the short guy" not by who you are, accused of having a "complex" when standing up for yourself, accused of "over compensating" when going to the gym or buying new things, are more likely to be suicidal for not living up to societies standards of a man. Way less likely to get girlfriends, casual sex almost impossible, women less likely to be satisfied in the relationship, more likely yo have to date girls way below facial looks match.

But anyway your point "it's exaggerated online" is based upon nothing. If t were true short men would be doing fine before online dating, spoiler: they weren't.

[–]wtfismylifehelp0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

heightism is a very known form of oppression

By definition ppression means that the government/ruling class is using "unjust or cruel exercises of authority or power" against a certain group. Yes, short men may be disadvantaged in society, but there never has been any case of there being laws written that purposely limit the rights of short people. For example, men are disadvantaged in western society, because they get fucked over in court more often and a plethora of different reasons, but in many eastern societies women are oppressed because they, in law, literally do not have the same rights as men. Short people are disadvantaged. Ugly people, for example, experience all the same things you listed as short men, but they're not considered "oppressed".

My point "it's exaggerated online" is based on everything that happens online. Everything gets exaggerated, it's just the nature of the reactionary internet. Never said short men didn't have dating issues before the internet. Just that the issue seems more extreme now, as the things that spread around the internet are always extreme examples that provoke a lot of reactions

[–]HeartofDestiny1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, that's a very narrow definition of oppression, no one is currently subjected by authoritarian power in the US or any developed western country. Yet, racism, sexism, heightism, weightism, transphobia, still exist. Some of them have some elements of subjugation by the government but most have none. Oppression can refer to ..a less overtly malicious pattern of subjugation.

In some countries there is actual law against short men and short people in general such as in China where there are limits on obtaining a drivers licence and getting certain jobs.

Huh? yes ugly people suffer oppression as well, it's known as lookism. Probably just as bad or worse than heightism especially in developed countries. I could solve most in problems under my ideal system, firstly by abolishing toxic masculinity which is linked to almost all these issues.

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Tldr: im dating a woman who can do anything i can do, better than me most of the time. makes more money than me. Its soooo nice knowing im not needed like i have always felt needed

Same here. Well I doubt she could do the exact same stuff I do better than me because we have different areas of skill. But she does not need me. She could go move into her own place with the money she gets from her own job and never see me again if she wanted.

She's with me because she loves and wants me, not out any need. There's something beautiful about that. I'd much rather have that than a woman who was dependent on me for financial support.

This is why I don't understand the desire tradcons have for 1950's housewives. Why do you want a woman who just needs you for money instead of wants you out of love and passion? Surely the latter is far more desirable?

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It will happen. Doesn't mean it's the rule. I am 5'11". I was rejected by a beautiful redhead years ago who was herself 5'10" and very shapely, as in bombshell from the 50's hair and body, and great face. We were friends of friends; known eachother for 5-6 years when I asked her out. She said:

1) She only dated guys taller than her when she wore heels, and more immediately:

2) she had a crush on a buddy of mine (who was 6'5") and asked if I'd introduce her, which I did and they dated for a while;

No worries, so we hung out that night, dancing the whole night. We were friends before my failed 'ask-out' so I didn't care about friendzone. What was very interesting (I didn't know what pre-selection and Social Proof were), I saw how the other women in the clubs/bars saw me with a 6'+ tall (she was in heels) dancing and having fun... and when I would talk to them getting a drink, etc, they'd all start with: "your girlfriend is beautiful" me: "oh, she's just a friend" (smile) and like clockwork. So i gladly went dancing with bombshell-buddy many times, and we'd leave separately. After a few times out, she finally asked: "am I your wing-woman?" me: "yup, too bad I wasn't taller, eh?" It was a mutually fruitful relationship, until one of her immediate girl posse developed feels for me. When this BFF expressed her wants to my bombshell wingwoman, she went cold and no-commo. Found that out a year later. Too bad, her friend was a cutie. So they'll help you get laid with strangers, but the BFF posse is a holy circle not to be broken it seems... ;)

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[–]justblowinoffsteamok 1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Here's the thing, and this is coming from a 5'9" guy.

The myth of fairness and equality dies in the bedroom. There ain't shit you can do about it, so there's no point in being bitter. Your height is something you can't change (or at best you can wear lifts). You don't have MS or cancer, you just have one slight dating handicap, so it's better to let go and not focus on that. Some men are hideously ugly, some are stupid, some are poor, some have birth defects. There are far worse fates than being 5'8". What can you do but focus on what you can control and whatever your better qualities are?
That said, OLD does tend to accentuate this preference. Women screen because they can, so you don't even get a chance to charm them if you are below their height requirement (when in reality they might consider a guy below their "requirement" if he had the right other qualities). It's like an employer saying "Harvard and Yale only". They might find a better qualified person from State U, but if they can get enough resumes from Harvard and Yale then they won't bother. Yeah, it's "unfair." But all you can do is either meet women outside of OLD or focus on the ones that don't state a preference. Again, you might think life is supposed to be a certain way, but it don't be like that, so why waste your energy getting butthurt and making it even worse for yourself?

[–]Big_Jomez0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

While there is some bit of good advice in there...especially point #2... when life is unfair people are going to be sad about it (and rightfully so).

When you lose your job or house because of circumstances you couldn't have predicted, you're going to be a bit peeved about it.

When your wife or husband or child dies and you cant do anything about it, you're going to be livid. (Extreme example ik)

When you're born of a certain color and treated like a second class citizen due to it, you're going to feel a certain way about that.

When you get cancer out of the blue, you're going to hate life. (Or build a meth empire)

and, when you become a social leper to women due to your uncontrolable height or whatnot, you're going to feel a certain way about that, aren't you?

That's not to say that you should just give up on life, but lifes going to suck, and most people hate their circumstances at least in one point of their life.

And yes, there are thousands of things worse than being short, but equally there thousands of things better than it. It doesnt erase their suffering. If that was the case, then anytime anyone from any first world country complains about something, all we should do is point to a starving African child on t.v. and tell them to toughen up. Wise people don't really do that, do they?

Theres nothing in this world that will stop people from feeling sorry for themselves just as there is nothing that will stop people from having unrealistic standards.

Your advice boils down to: lifes sucks for you. Just stop giving a shit. Simple as that.

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Title	Me IRL
Author	FlavFal
Upvotes	499
Comments	174
Date	October 14, 2019 1:03 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dhjcpe/me_irl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/me-irl.290337 https://theredarchive.com/post/290337

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