Red Pill is nothing more than learned helplessness

Alright, I am going to attempt to break this down. Be prepared, its long. There will be no TLDR. I will cover multiple concepts and if you can't follow along, sorry. It's not my job to dumb it down any further than I am about to.

So first assertion. Red Pill talks about Hypergamy and that personality doesn't matter.

The reality is that dating standards have changed wildly in the last about 20 years. There are expectations of male behavior, expression, and communication which are worlds apart from what women expected out of men in the past.

Some men have fully adapted to these changes. They treat women as individuals, are competent in interaction and enjoyable to interact with. They have internalized women's standard set of boundaries and worked to eliminate common red flags from their behavior. They listen, remember what they hear, and respond to it in the future. And in addition to all of that, they have other positive things to offer in dating.

Many men have not. These men are extremely easy for women to identify and dismiss because many of them, including the average Red Piller and pretty much the entirety of the MGTOW and Incel communities, seem to not even be aware of the standards and throw off commonly discussed red flags very quickly in conversation which cause women to withdraw from even interacting with them.

Blue Pill or whatever makes alot of generalizations about personality and that if women don't choose you for it, your personality is dogshit.

This is, on the whole, absolutely 100% true. Sorry, but it is.

Many successful blue pillers however lack the language and understanding to really explain, so here's my attempt.

When you get told your personality is dogshit, here's what we really mean.

- You lack any real understanding of women's common experiences

- You lack any real understanding of women's common boundaries

- You are not on a human level respectful of women with a default of treating them like individual people

- You lack any significant charisma and skill at conversation where conversing with you is itself a pleasure for people outside of (possibly) topical conversations of significant mutual interest with others

- Your emotional intelligence and cognitive empathy are low to non existent

- You lack the self control to hold your sexuality or sexual expression back until the opportune moment

- You lack self awareness of troublesome perspectives and habits which constitute immediate red flags for dating or other interaction

- You lack the ability to perceive women in their current circumstances and emotional state to determine what if any approaches to them would work or be welcomed

- You lack an understanding of enthusiastic consent or even a desire to obtain it

- Your desire towards women is primarily sexual and you don't even see them as potential candidates for companionship

- Your interactions with women are primarily or entirely performative and formulaic because lacking the above understandings you only have the best "script" you can assemble for interacting with women and the second you're off script you get lost, leading to organic interactions stagnating immediately

Now I am not at all suggesting that every single red piller fits every single one of the above bullet points, but the vast majority of you have enough of the above bullet points to entirely disqualify you from being selected for dating or sex based on your personalities.

What's left after that?

Oh yeah, looks, money, status, stability.

So, it is understandable where the myth of Hypergamy began. Because with this MASSIVE shift in expectations of male behavior, perspective, and perception some men adapted well and others not at all.

This means that from a Red Pill perspective, the women with the highest value personalities are fully out of your reach. They would not begin to consider you. The kind of woman who is actually kind, empathetic, mindful, who takes care of her partner well and communicates well and is willing to effectively compromise and occasionally sacrifice for her partner?

She's entirely out of your reach. 100%. She won't even begin to talk to you.

Back in the 90s and before, these kinds of expectations were highly individual.

Since the advent of the internet, online dating and discussion forums, these standards have become the standard. The standards that virtually all women are striving to find in men.

In that sense, in some way, yes many women are all chasing after the top percent of men. Not because its a womans biological imperative, but because cultural standards in dating, worldwide, have changed wildly in favor of men who are emotionally intelligent and excellent at relationship skills like communication, respect, compromise, and empathy.

"But what about abusive relationships?"

1. An unquantifiable but very large proportion of women are not in abusive relationships. Abusive relationships are not the majority so far as anyone can see and women are not generally attracted to abusers when they know the person is an abuser.
2. A significant portion of abusers (regardless of gender) are adept at hiding their red flags for significant periods of time, sometimes months or years, until bonds and attachments are established which make people not only overlook red flags but at times accept abuse in order to hold onto the bond
3. Abused people, again regardless of gender, often accept abuse in exchange for love and attachment because of lowered self worth due to previous abuse, familiarity with toxic patterns which mimic past abuse and are thus "comfortable" to some degree, or which otherwise fall in line with their own toxic inner monologues about themselves.

The end result of the situation is that men with average personalities find themselves ignored by women who are expecting or at least hoping for men who meet these new interpersonal standards in dating.

The net effect of this is that for many of you, there is an entire subset of actually good, kind, empathetic women who have voluntarily removed themselves from your dating pool more or less permanently.

Now lets also establish, women like men are not a monolith. This means if there are women with good personalities, there are also women with average personalities, or bad ones. There are female abusers. There are lazy and entitled women who do in fact fit a fair number of red pill stereotypes about all women. There are narcissists who want to slant the relationship their way and apathetic women who simply want to do the absolute minimum in every situation.

Just like with men.

And the reality you now face is that these are the women you have to choose from. The good ones won't waste their time on you to show you their good sides. The average ones are shooting for the established cultural standard of the modern "Good Man". The shitty ones even moreso because who wants to exploit a lazy entitled douchebag? Mostly no one.

Red Pill is a reaction to this reality of men who either do not understand or reject the new cultural narrative of internal self improvement to become a better person in interaction with others.

It is throwing up your hands and saying "Women don't want me because of X Y and Z which are out of my control, the problem is women!"

That is the very clinical definition of learned helplessness.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/learned-helplessness

Learned helplessness occurs when an individual continuously faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so. For example, a smoker may repeatedly try and fail to quit. He may grow frustrated and come to believe that nothing he does will help, and therefore he stops trying altogether. The perception that one cannot control the situation essentially elicits a passive response to the harm that is occurring.

This is exactly what Red Pill is.

Red Pill is the attempt to establish external explanations for failure in dating and sex which are absolute and timeless. Hypergamy is claimed to be a biological truth of women as a gender. "Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks" is claimed to be a simple truth of the universe.

The irrationality of these positions, as we currently exist in the time period of the most massive world wide change in social culture in recorded human history, cannot be overstated.

Guys...

This is social natural selection at work. If you really want a generalization that fits? That's it.

Standards have changed and women have been empowered through massive worldwide anonymous discussion to establish to the best of their ability new standards in social interaction which supercede previous standards. 20 years ago men were talking to 14 year old girls online in a time when these standards were not known or widely accepted and committing lots of statutory rape. Now 14 year olds are posting pedo conversation screenshots on /r/creepypms and /r/niceguys because that is how widespread and common these standards have become. EVEN YOUNG TEENS ARE LEARNING THESE NEW STANDARDS IN THE ADULT DATING WORLD. THE CHANGES ARE SYSTEMIC!

And in all honesty, from what I have seen, many zoomer guys are adapting decently well to it, because they grew up with it the same as their younger female counterparts have.

This is natural selection guys. I laughed at the incel cry of "I CAN'T BREED" but it's pretty fucking true, not gonna lie. They can't, and they won't. Women decided this because we have in a new time of equality returned to playground rules in dating.

If you're an asshole women take their ball and go home and you don't get to play anymore. Period.

Adapt or die. We will never return to the 1950s, to women being financially dependent on men forcing them to choose a man.

https://www.businessinsider.com/unmarried-childless-women-are-happiest-expert-says-2019-5

You can find a million articles today with the above information.

Women without children and partners are overall happier than women with partners and children.

This is what you have to convince them to give up if you want women to be with you. Because if you make her miserable she will go on /r/relationships or /r/sex and get told by anywhere from a dozen to a thousand individual comments to leave your ass and she will statistically be happier once she does.

If you're not a great companion, you don't get to play the game.

Adapt or die, gentlemen. There is no third option.

:Edit:

The casual sex clause

Casual sex alone is it's own beast. In many ways it is subject to the same cultural standards as all interactions are, but it allows for some exceptions as well.

- It is commonly accepted by women that there is no way to predict if a man is good in bed or not before you actually sleep with him, so the default expectations of male performance in bed are on the whole pretty low. This means that factors besides sexual performance usually decide if sex is going to happen.

- The interactions required in order to engage in casual sex vary wildly. Some women will indeed meet up with someone they met that night. Some women will want you to talk to them for a week or more steadily before they consider meeting up even for casual sex, so there are no accurate generalizations to make about the interactions required before casual sex happens. Its 100% at this point individual to the woman you're talking to.

- The general expectations of average or worse sexual performance from men weight other factors much higher, especially factors which create sexual excitement, which means that looks are likely to be more important in order for women to become aroused and enjoy sex. Other factors commonly considered are kink/sexual energy matches, perceived social status, first impression of demeanor of the man, humor, and evidence that you've got a nice place for her to get fucked in.

- Matching apps artificially inflate the value of looks by being themselves focused on it. You do not have to see more than a picture and a name to match people on Tinder. Imagine if Tinder put your bio up front and you had to go into people's profile in order to see a picture at all. It would entirely change how Tinder works.