Sugaring/demanding additional payment up front for the date is the logical conclusion of any possible argument women make for why men should pay for dates rather than splitting.

NockerJoe · 2021-08-09T23:50:30+00:00

300 up front is the price of an actual prostitute. You're either talking to whores or you're getting ripped off.

Luna320 · 2021-08-09T23:19:06+00:00

Even as a girl this seems stupid to me. Safety is a priority but having the guy pay for that? I don’t spend anywhere near that and wouldn’t never to upkeep myself. I wouldn’t expect my man to pay for my beauty supplies either. Only thing I’d expect is for him to be hygienic and take care of his own things. Honestly I think I had a stroke reading this. I can understand guys bitching about this

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-08-09T23:44:30+00:00

Men paying for dates is a rule I find stupid in general.

Look I go dutch most times. And I only ever didn't when the guy forcefully insisted. However there is one group of women who I do not belong to, who I think has a logical reason for having a man pay

These are the trad wives. I grew up Conservative Catholic and I know a fair few of them. (I myself am non-religious). These are low n or virgin women who wish to have a homemaker-provider dynamic due to religious and cultural reasons. A good number of them are pretty upfront about it as well. Obviously there aren't many of them. And there aren't that many good provider, trad, religious men to go around.

The reason I think this particular group of women is justified for this is because they're expecting a trad man in exchange for being a trad wife. And vetting for a generous, moderate- high income provider type man is part of that.

You don't have to go on dates with them. And you can definitely say that it's not something you're into. But trad wives are not sugaring or prostitutes. They just use an older value system

06534956 · 2021-08-10T18:48:14+00:00

This is more or less what I do. No shame here, not at all. No shame for me and no shame for the men who don’t agree, we’re just simply not a match.

The men I date take good care of me.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-08-09T23:53:54+00:00

what are you all doing

Big-Menu-1559 · 2021-08-10T01:32:41+00:00

You're making it sound like a business deal more than trying to seek a relationship. You'd be better off hiring a prostitute.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-08-10T10:08:46+00:00

Most men just show up and do the work. You don't really have to ask for anything. If you "demand" people, you need to re-evaluate some things.

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-08-10T18:06:53+00:00

What if a guy is happy with jeans T-shirt pony tale? Stop acting like every guy wants Kim Kardashian.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-08-10T18:56:44+00:00

I'll give you 300 doll hairs.

WrXquisite · 2021-08-10T23:49:30+00:00

I have literally never heard or even heard of a single woman saying anything remotely like this.

CatchPhraze · 2021-08-10T01:41:38+00:00

Just because you dismiss her reasons as unimportant to you isn't actually an argument against them. Just because you don't think they should work/matter doesn't mean they won't to her. It's that simple. Your FEEELZ don't actually matter on the subject.

flamingoinghome · 2021-08-10T14:23:28+00:00

When you have guests in your home, do you demand after the fact that you're compensated for hosting?

SaBahRub · 2021-08-09T23:22:19+00:00

Don’t forget that men want sex more than women

It’s a token acknowledgment, and basic politeness, not full on compensation

No man I’ve ever dated had a problem with it

Throwawaway314159265 · 2021-08-10T04:51:11+00:00

I mean it's true.

If women collectively demanded an "application fee" they would probably be less likely to be on the receiving end of some low-effort attempts to get into their pants.

However the problem is that it's a big ask for men, since they too must protect themselves from getting used by women who are just looking for free meals.

As a matter of strategy, I never pay for her half:

If she doesn't understand that I have a strategy to filter out gold-diggers, then she doesn't understand a large part of men's dating problems.
Even though if she had bad previous experience for men, it is not my job to execute her strategy for her. If she doesn't understand it is not my job, then she again does not understand men's dating problems.

Note that you can't use point 2 as an argument against point 1 because in a world free from bad actors (i.e. people don't use each other), the default is that both sides pay for their own shit.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-08-09T23:24:52+00:00

It’s actually compensating for male sexual indiscrimination, which you didn’t mention

Men will fuck anything, women won't. Requiring effort from men is a way to filter the ones who see her as an easy fuck

CFinCanada · 2021-08-10T00:34:46+00:00

I actually did date a guy for 2 years who split a $28 bill on our first date. Buddy turned out to be psycho. If I had followed FDS advice and filtered him out of my pool from the first date for having been so cheap and socially awkward I could probably have avoided a hole punched in a door and getting choked a year later. Nothing wrong with that bit of advice, probably saves lives.

sylbug · 2021-08-10T22:51:26+00:00

What the actual fuck...

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gorilla_blanco · 2021-08-10T00:25:13+00:00

This is what we call “leading with your wallet”… it’s the dating equivalent of performance enhancing drugs… it gets you performing above “natural results” and hard work can create openings but realize you are operating from a place worse than the friend zone in your quest to “flip” this into a real relationship…. If hanging out with hot dates is the goal it works great though for both parties and I think when used right it can sometimes create opportunities

Purple_saveslives · 2021-08-10T13:10:10+00:00

Bro if I'm putting up 300 for a date I'm just getting a hooker at least I know it's a sure thing lmao

heyitsjeape · 2021-08-10T20:15:56+00:00

I don’t have a problem paying but:

1) I need to know exactly what I’m getting.

2) The Golden Rule applies - he who has the gold makes the rules.

I’ll always pay so long as those two conditions are met.

Luna320 · 2021-08-09T23:20:10+00:00

Only thing I’d agree with is inviter pays but people can split if they want. It’s not the 50s

neetykeeno · 2021-08-10T01:40:57+00:00

It is really fucking simple....there is a sum of money a woman is interested in paying for dinner and most of the time that sum is reflected in her grocery shopping. Sometimes she will pay more if it is an occasion she feels warrants it. That you saw her in the streets and decided she looks like a nice warm place to put your cock? Doesn't warrant it.

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