The key to a perfect relationship is self satisfaction.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-12-23T20:24:11+00:00

So basically just "You can't love someone if you don't love yourself first" and "You can't be/make someone else happy if you're not happy with yourself first?" Agreed.

It's just rare to come by a person who is this secure, content, and grounded. Almost everyone has insecurities and other issues. It's difficult to find this tine sliver of the population and even if you do, they'll require the same traits from their partner.

throwaway042994 · 2021-12-24T03:30:21+00:00

If you were self-satisfied, a relationship would literally add nothing to your life.

2 self satisfied people would probably be polite with each other, but would have no purpose to enter into a relationship.

midwestufohunter · 2021-12-23T19:35:37+00:00

decentering men is something i encourage all women to do and i think it will lead to more healthy relationships.

i also invite men to decenter the importance of sex and "getting women".

pinkestpeachy · 2021-12-23T20:56:14+00:00

Who in their right mind is going to disagree and argue with your core sentiment, which is: people should be able to cultivate their own happiness.

The arguments here are all semantics based because that’s all you can get out of a boring and obvious CMV post. What’s next? You’re gonna “argue” that humans need oxygen to live?

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-12-23T20:37:46+00:00

I'm not sure what this means exactly. Everyone is unhappy at some times in their life. If you are alone, sometimes you are going to be lonely. If you are extremely self reliant I could see that just as easily working against you since you won't put in as much effort to finding a relationship, and might not be able to adjust to the level of demand a partner (if you find one) might have on your time and energy.

This seems to presuppose that if you are well-adjusted things will fall into your lap effortlessly. I mean; maybe if your are nearly completely self-actualized? But for most mortals it takes effort and there will be plenty of mistakes and failures, and that's ok because learning by trial and error is the only way open to the majority (some rare exceptions granted).

TrueStorms · 2021-12-24T05:49:50+00:00

Yah this is why people used to have their own faith in God and religion and not put everything on a spouse. But y’all threw that away.

md8716 · 2021-12-24T08:29:25+00:00

Disagree. Interdependence is a strength, not a weakness. Two people who can cooperate seamlessly and meet each others needs are an example of when the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

You get to a higher level by cooperating and specializing than developing complete independence. Lone wolves rarely prosper.

wtffellification · 2021-12-24T21:07:25+00:00

Me, Me, Me, happiness, happiness, happiness, more, more, more...

Zcuzz · 2021-12-23T20:22:06+00:00

This is not true. You can be totally satisfied with yourself and stagnant and your partner may want more.

Nice sentiment though.

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2021-12-23T20:30:02+00:00

The best relationships involve avoiding women who were involved in AF/BB and are attempting to exploit you for resources.

TheLoneMushroom · 2021-12-23T21:38:23+00:00

Ah yes remember boys and girls, if you have depression you're undateable and can't make anyone happy.

If you're not happy with yourself, you won't be able to make your partner happy either.

Yup none of my depressed friends make me happy and vice versa. So it should be expected that all of them with partners are actually in awful relationships that aren't fulfilling at all. And if you're unhappy from being alone for an extended period of time, oh man you're fucked. There's no way in hell you'll ever be a good partner because how dare you be unsatisfied with your situation?

I literally believed what OP said and didn't date for a whopping decade because of it. Wanna know what happened? It made me even more depressed.

kyjolski · 2021-12-23T20:35:56+00:00

What does that even mean? You can be happy with yourself but still feel unhappy about lack of meaningful human contact, be it romantic or otherwise.

IMO a person who can really do things alone for prolonged periods of time (years) and enjoy themselves/be happy constantly because 'I love myself' has a few screws loose. I can't begin to imagine the level of egocentrism? Like, I want to interact with other people and see what they think. I already know my thoughts quite well.

Or do you mean a person who is solo but still involved in casual relationships and who has lots of friends/easily gets to know people? In that case sure, but I don't think self-confident sociable extroverts are the demographic complaining in these types of subs.

Barely-moral · 2021-12-24T00:21:36+00:00

The key to a perfect relationship is self satisfaction.

No such thing as a perfect anything. No sense in chasing it.

I mean to say that when one is satisfied with himself/herself, they don't rely on the other person to pick up the burden making them happy all by themselves.

I can't be happy by myself. I can't be happy without being in a committed LTR. That doesn't mean that it is on my partner to make me happy. Being in a LTR is a necessary condition but not enough. I still have to deal with the rest.

You can't live for someone. Expect someone to provide you happiness. You can expect them to boost it. But not create it.

I can live for someone. I can't expect them to provide me happiness. I still need someone to fill that role if I want to be happy. I can't expect them to create happiness but I still need someone there as an ingredient for me to create it.

If you're not happy with yourself, you won't be able to make your partner happy either.

Hard disagree. I am perfectly able to shove my unhappiness up my ass while I am dealing with it. No one knows, I can still do my duty in the meantime.

Because if you're in love, you'll care about each other. And will.be concerned when the other person isn't happy

Makes sense. See above.

So if they leave you alone, can you be truly happy? If not, you're not ready for a relationship.

I can't. And I don't care if I am not ready. Either I am in a LTR, in a quite limited time looking for one, or I am dead by my own hand. No other option.

The best relationships are when you either build everything together from the ground up (risky, and only possible if young), or if you have settled into your own life and are now looking for someone to accompany you in it.

I did that because that was the best strategy I could find to get a stable LTR. All the time I spent creating my own life while looking for miss moral I spent it dodging the rope. Fuck that shit.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2021-12-23T20:43:32+00:00

This is kinda ableist in a way...

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ZealousidealAd7191 · 2021-12-23T20:49:51+00:00

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-23T21:22:23+00:00

Maybe self-satisfaction isn't the right term to use here because it sounds like the opposite of what you're describing.

People tend to get very selfish when things aren't working out and they go into self-preservation mode.

I think self-actualized is probably a better term to use.

billsull_02842 · 2021-12-23T23:27:34+00:00

a barnacle sticks to ship by its glue like a woman sticks to a man by his money.

Hoopy223 · 2021-12-24T01:23:55+00:00

I don’t think the key to a perfect relationship is to “love yourself” lol. A relationship that is about more than just you is going to be healthier.

ogsimpology · 2021-12-24T04:28:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BasicallyYogurt · 2021-12-24T15:27:39+00:00

username checks out

SwimmingCarpenter21 · 2021-12-24T18:07:18+00:00

For sure..

Step 1: Accountability.

and that explains basically everything you need to know about gender dynamics and why things are the way they are.

licalotapusfrom9gag · 2021-12-23T23:34:37+00:00

This is a great post and should have more upvotes.

Title	The key to a perfect relationship is self satisfaction.
Author	ogsimpology
Upvotes	59
Comments	141
Date	December 23, 2021 7:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rn3ab5/the_key_to_a_perfect_relationship_is_self/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-key-to-a-perfect-relationship-is-self.1090982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090982

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