The Problem with Dating Apps is Average Women Aren’t As Sexually Confident and Don’t Get Attention They Want

MikeArrow · 2025-02-14T22:00:20+00:00

They aren’t as confident to go out and meet a guy they don’t know and be romantic quickly

Despite my tiny sample size of one (1) match on a dating app, this sentiment still holds true in my experience.

The woman I matched with seemed extremely reserved and reticent. She mentioned early on being frustrated with dating apps since the people she would match with would try to have sex with her almost immediately, but none seemed interested in a relationship beyond that. So I decided I wouldn't be like those guys. We talked via text for almost a month but nothing seemed to be progressing further. I eventually lost interest and let it die off, but her mindset really showed me how difficult it was for her to reconcile those perceived expectations with her own sense of safety and boundaries.

missmireya · 2025-02-15T01:10:01+00:00

I'd really like to know what an "average woman" means to an average guy.

Because soon after I turned 40 I was still on the dating apps. Women past 40 (no matter how much they take care of themselves) are seen as a -100 to men even their own age. We are completely filtered out.

I deleted my profiles shortly after turning 40.

rag3light · 2025-02-15T14:54:22+00:00

Lmfao space cadet OP. Literally landwhales and grandmas get tons of men in their DMs and offered DATES. This research has been done.

OP is a lame psyops

Coolvolt · 2025-02-14T23:33:49+00:00

Because of the gender imbalance on dating apps, women get to date up, and men have to date down.

This leads to a cycle of men dating below their league because it's the only way to get dates, getting bored easily and not wanting to commit. And women getting led on and pump&dumped.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-02-14T21:46:50+00:00

I’m pretty sure all women are getting attention they don’t want, and not just online

shockingly_bored · 2025-02-14T21:39:25+00:00

Theyre still getting matches, responses, dates and sex out of it though. That's at least 4 stages ahead of men, if they are struggling to get relationships at least some of it is their fault

CallMeHaseo · 2025-02-14T22:02:01+00:00

I don’t feel bad. The average chicks could go for a guy on “their level” and get a boyfriend. They just choose guys they KNOW they don’t qualify for and when it doesn’t work out in their favor commitment wise, They’ll act stupid like they don’t know why.

Mountain_Sand3135 · 2025-02-14T21:49:55+00:00

"date average women, the average women don’t want to, they’d rather get treated bad or as a temporary option from an above average man."

so in old times...you had to date geographically , so people selection/choice was only so big...so hot guys/girls got their pick and then everyone else SETTLED (I know a bad word now) for what they could get (average to average).

NOW. dating apps give average women a CHANCE to see a hot guy even though that guy is desired by LOTS of women and really doesn't have an incentive to date average he still will have intimacy with her. Dating apps have opened up the geographic boundaries causing more HOT guys/HOT ladies to "date" more and more up and down the spectrum which negatively affects average ladies.

Case in point , i was watching trash tv (16 and pregnant ) one of the moms with a child , hooked up with a man online (who was a model) , she actually thought she hit the jackpot, when he ghosted her afterwards she was hurt and wondered why!! My wife an i couldn't believe she was actually wondering and expected this man who was a 8-10 on the scale of looks would date/marry her but yet she DID.

Now that average lady thinks she can have a relationship with the hot guy and hoping to score out of her league , leaving average men with nothing (or less than optimal mates) . Its really that simple .

So what do we do about it ...nothing...women will believe the disney fairytale waiting for the hot man to settle down and "pick" them. Average men will continue to fund OF, porn, be orbiters and prostitution to meet their needs and hope things change.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2025-02-14T21:40:54+00:00

Average men and average women will typically get dates with online dating depending on location. However due to the ease of access to potential suitors, many folks are “thrown away” or “put to the side” in hopes of finding something better before date 4-5. This is applies to men and women alike.

You have an odd take OP.

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mandoa_sky · 2025-02-14T21:40:49+00:00

well duh it's an options thing. plus dating apps tend to be based on image - and no offence to most dudes out there, but even the best looking of average dudes can look like shit in a bad photo

harmonica2 · 2025-02-14T23:41:47+00:00

there is a couple of women I know who say they keep getting used by guys but is this because they don't lower their standards enough likely?

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-02-15T01:55:48+00:00

is the point of dating apps to cycle through random boyfriends or something

sounds even more mindless than i originally thought

growframe · 2025-02-15T02:04:18+00:00

I'd have to disagree. Even women I'd say are average that have told me about their dating app experiences haven't had the doom and gloom.

In my experience, the main difference in attitudes is that a lot of men are all in with them. They're on a dating app, THIS is how they're going to find a partner. Women are more casual with it. If they find someone, nice. If they don't, no harm no foul.

wtknight · 2025-02-15T02:17:02+00:00

The body of your post doesn’t agree with the title. Average women get plenty of attention from average men. Dating apps don’t work because they allow “high value” men to easily match with average women for sex and then not commit to them. They play into the weakness of women’s hypergamy, and the average man’s tendency to overestimate his attractiveness and to continue to “play the dating lottery”.

Plane-Image2747 · 2025-02-15T08:09:23+00:00

What youre calling a 'lack of confidence to go out and meet a guy they don’t know and be romantic quickly' is more accurately 'on average its much more dangerous for a woman to go out and meet a man she doesnt know than vice versa.'

Werevulvi · 2025-02-15T14:05:11+00:00

I dunno, my experience on dating apps was it was only ever the lowliest of men wanting hookups. And what I mean by that is obese, often 20+ years older, clearly unwashed men with terrible haircuts, being extremely sleezy. And by sleezy I mean starting convo with a sexual question, sending dickpics, asking for nudes, etc. Only on rare occasion would I be approached by actually average men asking normal questions, and that made me extremely happy! Even to just talk to them, even if I didn't feel like we had much in common or a spark.

But irl I never had trouble matching with actually average, sweet men whom I had a lot in common with. I mean men of varying heights from 5'7 to 5'9 ish, at or close to healthy weight but not muscular, clean and looking decent but wouldn't make a men's magazine cover, not overly rude, within 10 years of my age, etc. This would describe the two men I was in LTR's with, and the several men I did seriously date but things just did not work out with. And I met neither of them on a dating app.

So I really do not mind dating average men, the problem is that dating apps are full of below average men who wouldn't hit on an average woman in broad daylight, but they aren't afraid behind a screen. I'm not sure where the average men are at on dating apps. Busy being scammed by bots? Or being rejected by above average women? I really don't know.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-02-15T15:04:38+00:00

Dating apps are designed for one thing: to make the App developers money. And about 13 years ago they figured out that using an algorithm that treated the experience more like a casino made it a lot more addicting and a lot more profitable.

Sure some people hit the jackpot in Vegas, but the vast majority lose money, which is how they are able to afford to build such huge casinos!

The sooner people stop acting like OLD is “broken” and understand that it’s working as designed- to make money off its users, the sooner people can make some real decisions on how much time and effort they spend on them.

Otjahe · 2025-02-14T21:44:31+00:00

Since men are simpy and any woman gets a ton of interest, obviously they’d be more picky. That’s rational human behavior.

But I do want to say that as a average dude myself, I’ve used apps for about decade and could get weekly dates if I had the time. It’s extremely easy.

And lots of my gfs use dating apps to fuck some random guy after a night out. Same thing there.

I don’t see why a woman exclusively interested in real relationships A, wouldn’t make that clear on the app, and B, isn’t using more serious apps

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-02-14T22:05:09+00:00

Yes, average women are very disappointed that not every guy is perfect, witty, polite, and proposes to them on the 3rd date.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2025-02-14T22:06:36+00:00

As you say, many women aren’t getting what they want or value. In other words they want to date up substantially (hypergamy) but for many that’s simply not possible. It’s not that they can’t get dates, it’s that they can’t find men meeting their high expectations.

The key thing I think you are missing is the issue is driven by high expectations. If most women were happy to date men of the same socio-economic standard, there would be no such issue.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-02-15T00:46:07+00:00

The “average” women I found on apps were doing anything and everything to get to my bed, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about.

Title	The Problem with Dating Apps is Average Women Aren’t As Sexually Confident and Don’t Get Attention They Want
Author	InitialPaths989
Upvotes	0
Comments	179
Date	February 14, 2025 9:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1iplnm2/the_problem_with_dating_apps_is_average_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-problem-with-dating-apps-is-average-women.1543882 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543882

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