What would make a man with options want to commit to a woman?

NockerJoe · 2020-01-15T23:47:00+00:00

My sister has every single thing femcels bitch makes them ugly. Race, build, height, face, whatever. I've heard it all a million times. But she went to college and hit the gym and even if she's fucking crazy even by my standards she still has no shortage of dudes blowing up her phone and offering to commit, including a lot of tall guys and rich guys and fit guys who could have a hundred other girls who are also fit and at least not stupid if not smart as well.

The thing is that she doesn't play all the stupid power games and obviously cares. She bought her dude a PS4 for Christmas and lets him play his damn games in peace. If he's sick she'll come around with juice and soup and shit. She gets gifts and time with him and whatever back so it's not like she's getting taken for a ride but she's not playing this ridiculous FDS ploy of how a dude has to have the most skin in the game and he has to be above her in every respect.

It turns out TRP wasn't lying about how important "be pleasant" is. An actually good woman who doesn't make every little thing a drama bomb and doesn't demand constant attention and insist the guy jumps through hoops is so rare that the moment one is even vaguely on the market she's a good two or three points higher on the scale than she otherwise would be.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-01-16T00:23:33+00:00

him wanting you enough that he wants to stop you from fucking other men

EsauTheRed · 2020-01-16T00:27:53+00:00

You might just have to deal with non-monogamy, because you are attracted to non-monogamous men

There are men who restrain themselves and don't exploit every possible option, but you seem to want to see him exercising his options (you say as much yourself, you acknowledge the RP frame)

The best you can settle for is an uneasy truce given you don't want to play more conservative social games

stats135 · 2020-01-16T00:37:41+00:00

What you are asking for is for a guy to be stable/boring. A man that can fuck lots of women but dont want to is a man that is not turned on by variety. He is content fucking and living with the same woman his whole life. The issue here is that if he has such low desire for variety, it's going to leak into other aspects of his life.

ppzhao · 2020-01-15T23:48:05+00:00

You being significant better than all his other choices would make him want you. Fear of losing you would make him commit to you over playing the field.

Also, while men are hard-wired to spread our seeds, we also are hard-wired to not want other men fucking the women we're fucking. Your commitment to a man will also help generate a commitment from him to you.

goneaway2thewind · 2020-01-15T23:48:15+00:00

Treat him like a good person. Make sure he knows that you value his company. Getting a guy's love isn't that hard you literally can do the bare minimum and he'll like you. Not because he can't get any other woman, but too many women play games or treat everything like a transaction as if you owe them the world by default.

If you want him to be your man you have to be his woman. Be kind, Choose wisely.

unicorns- · 2020-01-16T00:49:35+00:00

Two major reasons:

⁠He might want a meaningful relationship. Not everyone wants to sleep with a variety of people, some people do want a committed relationship and love.
⁠When he gets older and wants to settle down, all the women that he considers high value will probably be with other guys who wanted to commit 5-10 years ago. Attractive, intelligent, kind women with no kids and very few sexual partners typically don’t stay single into their 30s. And the odds of successfully finding a woman 10+ years younger who wants to settle down is very low, unless you’re significantly above average.

Workaholiconew · 2020-01-16T02:33:16+00:00

I have a sad truth to you, you are replaceable, we all are. And most of high valued men just commit based on what they desire. Not the woman they are with, so... it is mostly the things in the guys life that make him decide who to commit, not you, but you can help sway his decision based on some factors.

Here are 3 major factors you may want to be to get commitment from such men

Be consistently pleasant by his definition (I.e. don't be a constant bother or nuisance)
Be consistently sexually satisfying by his definition (I.e. don't give him a reason to look elsewhere)
Be consistently reasonable by his definition (I.e. do not make him doubt your mental soundness)

High valued men, obviously, have other requirements, but it depends a lot on their personality, so I will not even try to guess it.

It may not look like it, but most men are actually avoiding their nature. We know fully well how much it put us in trouble, so we pass a lot of our time trying to control those things if we can.

And I am sorry to say it, but things like career, smarts, confidence and the like. Matters little to most men, including high valued men. It may be a bit of a advantage, but it is still minor compared to being reasonable for example.

Redpiller77 · 2020-01-16T03:15:39+00:00

She wants to be my slave? I'm in.

WIA20XX · 2020-01-16T05:36:27+00:00

Boredom. See what happened to Clooney. Overdose on new pussy, and you'll gravitate to something. It might be a female, or enlightenment.

The idea of the cad that meets his match has a basis in reality, which is why they keep making the story.

99% of Femmes are better off settling for a guy without options.

RinneReghanRue · 2020-01-16T06:49:18+00:00

[deleted]

gimpgirl555 · 2020-01-16T09:02:41+00:00

So.... how can it happen? Is it about the guy or the girl he chooses? If it’s about her, what makes her so special? Would she have to be super good looking? Extremely nice (doubt it)? Very confident? Really smart? Remind him of his mother?

I have to settle this. What would it take?

Is it really just hopeless?

Just be hot and nice.

abaxeron · 2020-01-16T14:09:46+00:00

Do you want some man or a particular man to commit?

As I said in another thread, these are two very, VERY different tasks, and the first one is somewhat obvious (be nice, be attractive, don't be an ugly treacherous bitch); the second is just retarded.

bonusfruit · 2020-01-16T14:50:08+00:00

Transform into a pickme. Pretend to like guy stuff, be a little antifeminist, pretend to sympathize with mens perspective on things, be a freak in bed. This will make you stand out

DubsPackage · 2020-01-16T15:02:27+00:00

Trust, communication and emotional connection.

aka be an actual nice person (but not TOO nice.)

There's a balance between breaking your back and transactional, a certain line that you have to walk.

Put it this way

If you're too nice and break your back treating him like a king, he thinks he can do better than you, then his eye starts wandering.

What you want him to think and believe (and what YOU want to think and believe yourself) is that you're "good enough" for each other.

"I'm good enough for him, and he's good enough for me." That's the mindset you want to spread and hold in your own brain and in the relationship.

What you DON'T want to do is swing wildly between dread and feeling worthless, you want to keep it stable and balanced.

reluctantly_red · 2020-01-17T01:34:27+00:00

Guys who have their lives together don't want a fixer upper. We want women who make our lives better and easier. It's what happens between sexual escapades that makes a guy want to commit.

I'm only going to commit to a woman who is a true partner and companion.

To be a true partner a woman needs, at the bare minimum, an education and a career.

Giimax · 2020-01-17T09:29:30+00:00

As a man myself I very much disagree with the "biology dictates the sexual market" concept.

Biology dictates the sexual market as much as biology dictates our diets. I mean yeah kinda? But you don't see people eating raw meat and sticks of butter because their biology favours it.

Personally, its more of a roll of the dice who ill like more. Less of a number crunching game.

diffdedbed · 2020-01-15T23:49:21+00:00

People have wanted to know how to make someone fall in love for a long time.

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Blue_Andre · 2020-01-16T01:56:24+00:00

(Polygynous) polygamy

joesmithasdf · 2020-01-16T02:33:16+00:00

Such a wife would feel like a safe haven, more like a friend than the trope of nagging wife. At least part of the time.

And now you know why the “good men” aren’t in a hurry to get into a for show, socially acceptable, beta bucks marriage.

MikepGrey · 2020-01-16T03:54:58+00:00

Is shy fully bi and able to pull her own weight?

Or just another leach who thinks a man is a walking atm and a pussy is a no limit credit card?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-01-16T06:05:47+00:00

what would make a guy change his nature?”

Why are you (and other women) still fixed on the idea you can change a man?

Zippo-Cat · 2020-01-16T07:21:01+00:00

Love? Societal expectations? Wanting to have children? Simple attachment to someone you spent a lot of time with?

felis_magnetus · 2020-01-16T09:57:52+00:00

Remind him of his mother is a recipe for disaster. Same for father, for that matter. Those are relationships bound to fail, since they invariably revolve around issues from the past. Once those get solved, the relationship is over. Once one party realizes they're actually only an actor in their partner's crazy theater it is also over. The more stable relationship of that sort is when you have to weirdos with complementing issues, but it's only more stable because there is less of a chance the shared madness collides with reality.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-01-16T10:41:32+00:00

Depends on the individual. Relationship compatibility is something everyone is looking for but what constitutes compatible differs from person to person.

For me it was someone who I found attractive, gives me enough space, is generally a happy person, family orientated, active and healthy and is just generally positive to be around.

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-16T11:06:35+00:00

It is not about him wanting you specifically it is mostly about you being or perceived to be whatever qualities he is projecting on you that he thinks you have. That and he wants to lock you down driven by those projections to remove your options to bang other men whether you want to or not. Some men just get worn out by chasing multiple women and end up committing to whoever happens to be standing there when this feeling comes up.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-01-16T16:37:35+00:00

Generally when you like someone and they like you back, you just kinda want to be a part of their life

rus9384 · 2020-01-16T16:57:26+00:00

Depends on a man.

CHAD_TDK · 2020-01-16T20:34:17+00:00

"LOVE" whatever love means. And love is not for everyone, it can't be rationalized nor negotiated; and some people think it's a mental illness.

md8716 · 2020-01-17T03:20:27+00:00

When my wife and I first started dating, she was cute, in good shape, pleasant, and fun to be around. Strongly family oriented, well traveled, savvy, and interested in all kinds of things. Had strong opinions on certain issues, but again, was still really pleasant and graceful despite that. And although I kinda sensed it at first, she's also extremely loyal. Like, 100% my ride or die chick since the very first date. Girls these days aren't loyal like that anymore.

As for me, I was at a place in my life where I wanted to settle down. Like, I had been around the world working, fighting wars, and building my life up, and I was pretty world-weary at that point, and she was an amazing, soft place for me to land. Even today, like 10 years later, she still raises my spirits whenever I'm around her, compared to when I'm not.

I was the right guy for the right girl at the right time, and it's been nothing but happiness and success since that moment.

wingbark · 2020-01-17T15:21:10+00:00

The right woman. You’ll get it when/If you meet her

hammerhaunts · 2020-01-15T23:48:09+00:00

He would definitely choose you for posting reddit threads that make you sound obnoxious and unloveable

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-01-15T23:48:25+00:00

No it’s not hopeless. Men fall in love. But to marry a woman involves other parties (government) outside of the two of you.

A lot of men marry for status and family formation as well. They want kids and marriage is the best environment to raise them.

Also certain jobs/positions have an unspoken requirement a man be married with a family. Companies don’t like to place a man in a critical role without knowing he has roots and obligations. After all, if he can just walk out and leave, why invest any time in grooming or training him?

2020-01-15T23:56:09+00:00

what would make a man with options commit?” is like asking “what would make a guy change his nature?

Committment, especially marriage, is a social act. As part of living in a society we put on all kinds of social acts that purport to claim we are rising above our nature as animals.

Now what people do in private is a different matter altogether, of course.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-01-16T02:33:07+00:00

A man having options to have casual sex doesn't mean that you have lots of women that you actually care about or want to date.

? If it’s about her, what makes her so special? Would she have to be super good looking? Extremely nice (doubt it)? Very confident? Really smart? Remind him of his mother?

The answer is "maybe" to all of those. Every guy has certain things that really scratch the itch so to speak, and even if he could have tons of women, there's still certain women he has a soft spot for.

And just because he's infatuated now and wants commitment doesn't mean that he won't cheat on you later.

NockerJoe · 2020-01-15T23:50:25+00:00

2 options:

A. Snag an aging Chad as a young and attractive woman. And by that, I mean a "Chad" in his 40's+. He may have options, but if they're all older and fatter, you win by a large margin.

B. Get pornstar hot, have an absurdly low N, and really really rich. Basically pull a Brittany Spears move, minus the divorce.

Outside of that, yeah not gonna happen

noNooodleArms · 2020-01-16T00:12:26+00:00