A relationship will not make you happy, this is why

Footsoldier420 · 2024-10-07T20:07:23+00:00

It's all relative. Sometimes a needy person can be empowered by a little spark from the right person but the opposite can also happen.

Life is unpredictable. We just keep going.

Wholesomeness is not forever. We may find it within ourselves or in others. And just because we have it now, doesn't mean we'll have it tomorrow. And if we dont have it now, doesn't mean we wont have it tomorrow.

Flow like water my friend. Sometimes we need that extra thing/person/push to get us unstuck and to teach us.

Electronic_d0cter · 2024-10-07T20:08:33+00:00

I disagree, a truly meaningful relationship can be very fulfilling and help you improve certain parts of yourself and you also improve parts of the other person. It's a significant part to happiness if you find the right person of course it doesn't solve every problem you have but even if all problems were solved we'd just create more anyway. One night stands and hookups are what keep you unfulfilled

Nordkindchen · 2024-10-07T19:55:02+00:00

Totally disagree. I was devastated by my ex girlfriend cheating and getting into a relationship with a great women fixed almost all of my issues. It gave me the security and love that I needed to succeed again in my life. Every one kept telling me that a relationship would not change anything but I knew otherwise and it I live the proof for 5 years now.

CyberxFame · 2024-10-07T20:15:05+00:00

That's not true. Research says relationships are more beneficial to your happiness and health. The support you get from your partner helping you get through difficult times, you supporting your partner back provides both health benefits and a fulfilling life. (In a committed healthy relationship)

Liveitup1999 · 2024-10-07T23:25:18+00:00

A man is not complete until he get married, then he is finished.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-10-07T21:11:17+00:00

I'm pretty happy with my relationship because I found a girl that is happy with living in her feminine role. She supports my purpose by my side however possible as an equal without me having to ask for it, she is actually bringing something to the table.

If I didn't swim through a bunch of whores I would have never learned how to identify someone worth having a relationship with. This is why you should never show desire for commitment while single, you need to keep your options open until you find the girl that convinces you otherwise.

NoMoassNeverWas · 2024-10-07T20:08:36+00:00

I hate when people speak in absolutes here.

(Only sith do that.)

Fragrant_Foot7042 · 2024-10-07T20:53:48+00:00

Your personal experience is by no means a rule to be taught.

KarmicPlaneswalker · 2024-10-07T23:37:05+00:00

Actually it will. Apparently you've never seen the meme, "sometimes all you need is that one piece."

Stop talking about things you clearly don't comprehend. 🤡

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-10-07T21:32:58+00:00

I got your point. That’s my mindset, too. I never look for sad, miserable women. They tend to think that their partner gotta make them happy, that “once I have a right man, I will be happy.”

But in reality, you can’t rely your happiness from others. You make your own happiness. 2 happy people in a relationship will be happier. But 2 hopeless, desperate people in a relationship will be more miserable.

Sandvicheater · 2024-10-07T21:56:46+00:00

Somebody else whether its a girl or friend cannot mend or fix that is broken mentally internally (unless its loneliness) within you that "fix" has to come within one's own actions or with the help of a outside professional e.g. therapist.

No amount of love and sex from another women can fix past trauma, ptsd, mental disorder, etc.

LizzoBathwater · 2024-10-08T01:52:10+00:00

You’re right it won’t solve big problems in your life like depression, hating your career, self-esteem issues.

But you’re also so wrong, it will make you happy. Unless you’ve been passed over by women your entire life like some of us, you have no idea what kind of hurt that is. To be judged as not being worthy of affection and having someone to care about. To be alone constantly in everything you do, everywhere you go. To be there on Saturday night eating your sad fucking dinner alone. To ultimately be made to feel as what you come to suspect you are, less than human.

And once you find that girl who does see you, and cares about you, all that anger, frustration, and hate you had just evaporates. It’s like opening your eyes for the first time. And every little act of affection or caring brings you 10x as much joy as someone who’s had that their whole lives. Caring for someone and having them return that same love back is beautiful, it will melt you like no drug.

BrilliantDoubting · 2024-10-07T21:12:53+00:00

Funny how half the comments here "disagree" with what you've said, only to paraphrase exactly what you have said.

Brunoclement123 · 2024-10-07T20:33:26+00:00

Gatekeeper.

hyperflammo · 2024-10-07T20:51:05+00:00

Agreed.

Itchy-Mechanic-1479 · 2024-10-07T23:40:00+00:00

You can't have something for someone else until you have something for yourself.

Amaran345 · 2024-10-08T08:07:35+00:00

Have as much relationships as you want, guys, just try to be careful to not fall prey of codependence, a damaging mindset where you lose the ability to be alone or to separate from someone because you'll feel very lonely, depressed and worthless without them.

Examples of codependence: "i can't live without you", "i will never ever find someone better than you", "i can't be happy alone, i need a girl asap", and so on.

As long as you keep things on the side of interdependence, you will be ok, a mindset where you believe that you will be ok if you have to let her go, but where also you believe that you will be ok in a relationship.

Examples of interdependence: "i like you, but if you are not good for me, i will break up with you", "i don't have a girl right now, but i'll be ok, i'll find someone", "i can live just fine with or without you"

There's also the risk of falling into counterdependence, another damaging mindset where you feel bad or negative about relationships, making you push girls away, even if they are good for you. a core operating mode of avoidants, people who tend to ghost.

Examples of counterdependence: "people suck, i don't need anyone in my life", "leave me alone", "you suck, get away from me", etc

climaxingwalrus · 2024-10-07T20:48:06+00:00

If you are unhealthy you will subconsciously gravitate towards other unhealthy people. Or bring down your partner.

kptknuckles · 2024-10-07T22:18:33+00:00

I think this is one of those things that’s true in some senses and false in others. I mean, if your unhappiness comes from loneliness then yeah, a good relationship will solve the shit out of that problem. If you have unresolved baggage and draw your self-worth from external validation then you’re in trouble and a relationship might make things worse since it feeds an unhealthy need.

Chickenbeans__ · 2024-10-08T02:38:18+00:00

No individual thing will make you happy. You build happiness a little bit everyday with good mental and behavioral habits. Listen to the quiet voice in your head that tells you right from wrong and do what it takes to become the most fulfilling version of yourself.

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-10-08T00:17:04+00:00

Buddy - A woman that loves you is a beautiful thing.

It will make you happy even if you are a compleat mess.

I can most defiantly guaranty that IF she truly loves you it will make you happy.

You being content and fulfilled is a mostly game thing so you don’t get overly attached. It is entirely a modern concept and it has nothing to do with the happiness a relationship will bring.

Every time I’m sad my dad tells me “Get a girlfriend”. And he is right it “fixes” me up quick. When I’m “fixed” however I can’t tolerate any bullshit and I’m back to being single.

But it always end up being a happy memory I have.

BonPlaisir · 2024-10-07T20:21:39+00:00

May be. But sex can make you happier and that's a fact!

Brunoclement123 · 2024-10-07T20:34:28+00:00

Source: trust me bro.

We can't be complete if not with someone else. We are not autists

mebunghole · 2024-10-08T00:00:51+00:00

100% agree. When you’re in a relationship you have to worry about someone being faithful to you. Similarly, You also have to worry about someone outgrowing you. Not to mention someone draining your bank account because they just have to go to Starbucks and Ruth Chris. Plus they want gifts, surprises, and all sorts of gestures that cost money. You see? There’s a price to pay, literally and figuratively.

StiickyPalms_ · 2024-10-08T02:34:07+00:00

At this point its the only thing I feel like I can’t achieve in life. I go to first choice school, Im close with my friends and family, and I have a good amount of hobbies, its just that Im 22 and have never held hands yet. Might start cold approaching tho bc fuck dating apps

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-10-08T06:13:44+00:00

Do you want to talk about it?

jjboy91 · 2024-10-08T07:59:38+00:00

Everyone has problems. It doesn't mean we should skip on being happy while working on them and build strong foundations with our partner

No-Independence828 · 2024-10-08T10:45:26+00:00

True words

Unlucky-Amphibian623 · 2024-10-08T03:52:18+00:00

Damn reading these comments this sub has changed quite a bit bahah

mooseman077 · 2024-10-07T21:27:09+00:00

Nope. I know I'm better in a relationship. I have a reason to live.

TheRealJamesHoffa · 2024-10-07T23:15:32+00:00

Lot of people say this, but I don’t think it’s entirely true. Humans are social creatures. Not being loved or supported can be very difficult to deal with, and that’s okay. You shouldn’t be shamed for feeling down or lonely. Being around someone who loves you for you and lifts you up in a quality relationship can absolutely make you more happy. The same exact way having good friends can be helpful. And it can help you grow.

WellLickedDick · 2024-10-08T02:13:52+00:00

This is just plain wrong. The amount of satisfaction you can get from a relationship/marriage is massive.

It won’t fix all your problems, but you’ll have someone to support you as you do.

Title	A relationship will not make you happy, this is why
Author	BerichtenKoning
Upvotes	181
Comments	48
Date	October 7, 2024 7:32 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fygdbf/a_relationship_will_not_make_you_happy_this_is_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-relationship-will-not-make-you-happy-this-is-why.1532378 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532378

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