Any guys here who can explain why they don't approach?

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the-biggus-dickus · 2024-08-22T14:45:10+00:00

Huge effort for minimal results

At lest for the ones who don't have jobs/study that allow us to meet women naturally in our daily lives (Remote worker here)

Chickenbeans__ · 2024-08-22T14:50:21+00:00

These days? Depression and anxiety

CyberSecRiskCloud · 2024-08-22T15:08:55+00:00

in big cities this is much more difficult as women are getting approached and or looked at constantly. hence, they have a "fuck off" vibe. by the time you turn your head to say "hi", they're looking up/away/straight and walking as if they didn't see you.

aFalseSlimShady · 2024-08-22T15:31:44+00:00

I just don't get out. Work. Gym. Grocery store. Work is work. Gym is my happy place and I'm not there for women. Haven't seen anyone I want to approach at the grocery store.

Jtenka · 2024-08-22T15:46:59+00:00

I went on a stag with some guys abroad not long ago. Some guys don't even need to because they get approached. It's rare, but one of the guys was fairly wealthy. About 6'2, 9.5/10 looks and generally funny. But in a not cocky way.

Talk about living life on easy mode. I don't think I've ever seen so many women throw themselves at a man.

reddituser1000111 · 2024-08-22T15:34:38+00:00

I’ve talked to a lot of guys who have anxiety. It’s fear of rejection, public humiliation, not being accepted, embarrassment, massive effort with low probability, etc.

electromattic · 2024-08-22T15:23:08+00:00

I separated from my wife earlier this year (I'm 42, we were together for 10 years) and don't feel ready to date. I feel like an alien who is learning how to socialize and flirt and am not yet ready for it. So while I don't 'approach' YET I am working on my flirt/fun game and using every casual social interaction to try and make people smile, have fun or to otherwise generate attraction.

I don't consider myself very quick witted or funny so when a joke or a comment really lands with someone and I see them smile, or fire back or engage in any other way - I consider that a huge win for the level that I'm at.

nintendoborn1 · 2024-08-22T16:15:53+00:00

See. They’re mainly highschool girls wandering around town for day game approaching. And I love girls as much as the next guy but I’d rather not be arrested. Most of the girls my age leave or stay at home with their boyfriend/exes

Electrical_Formal755 · 2024-08-22T15:00:55+00:00

I cold approached a lot and met my current girlfriend from it- also dated a lot of enjoyable women from doing it

Yes there were bad days more so than good ones but it’s still the best form of game for the majority of men imo . Like what alternatives do you really have other than online? Night game? And social circle? A lot of men don’t have the profile to succeed in a saturated online market. Night game isn’t sustainable and alot of women are taken in social circles .

https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/05/07/why-i-believe-daygame-will-always-be-the-best-form-of-dating-for-the-majority-of-men-to-meet-new-women/

Such_Orchid_7759 · 2024-08-22T15:01:56+00:00

Depends on the context. There’s lots of places I see women I’d love to interact with but I don’t approach. That’d be on the street, shopping, lifting, or at most bars/clubs. The reason I don’t approach there is because that’s when I need to be more physically attractive than most men. Objectively, I’m just not there and probably will never be there. I’ve done all of it but I’ve not been given any kind of decent amount of warm receptions in my hundreds of attempts.

My lack of physicality is all genetic. I’ve lifted weights for years (suffering a back injury from lifting yesterday atm) and I have had cosmetic surgery but it’s not sufficient for someone who was born so hideous. So, here we are. Life sucks but that’s how it goes.

mafiargenta · 2024-08-22T16:56:59+00:00

Girls nowdays behave like they're Kim Kardashian while waiting the bus dressed from the H&M Social media has fucked society

pendragon2290 · 2024-08-22T15:51:09+00:00

I'm 34. I have a high body count. Really high.

After a while the lust dies down. I've seen every shape/size of boobs and vaginas.

I gotta see what in that grey matter we call a brain before I make any attempts at approaching.

LiveManLive · 2024-08-22T16:07:22+00:00

As soon as I introduce myself I get a look from girls like I have illegally captured their ancient home.

Sometimes I am not even approaching, even a simple genuine question gets me that look

travok69 · 2024-08-22T16:09:31+00:00

Sure can! If I'm going to have all my s*** together to take care of you I've got to be the best looking I got to have the most money I got to have all this stuff together the least you can do is approach. Then you wouldn't have so many problems with guys coming totalk to you all the time that would be no confusion

FollowingQueasy373 · 2024-08-22T16:14:00+00:00

Like the other guy said, depression and anxiety. Also social awkwardness and lack of self esteem and confidence. That's not to say I haven't tried approaching women. I have a few times. It doesn't go as terrible as one may think. But I have a hard time either taking further steps or I simply get rejected and move on. But it does end up making it feel hopeless and my desire to try again diminishes.

Amazing_Noise_5945 · 2024-08-22T16:37:12+00:00

Fear of rejection. However, once you get enough rejections it becomes numb.

kronos55 · 2024-08-22T18:57:22+00:00

Why should they?

Cautious_Currency_35 · 2024-08-22T19:00:08+00:00

Because I’m just tired of all this bs. I never see a girl put any effort into anything, conversation, date, etc. And I’m not including dating apps here, that shit is even worse. Feels like they’re there just for a dopamine hit.

lordmoldybutt42 · 2024-08-22T19:06:02+00:00

Tired of dating women who don’t put in the same amount of effort I do. And if it moves forward I’m the only one willing to fight for the relationship. Women just look for an excuse to leave.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-08-22T14:44:30+00:00

Whom, you?

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-08-22T15:19:45+00:00

been playing too much starfield, before that other games, before that go out of a fling with girl, I almost scored but it felt apart in the end lmao, that kind of set me back again into usual behaviors, but I'm going to make some changes the upcoming months of go out stronger than ever, cold approach like a machine, like its a video game lol, considering doing more psychedelics, stronger this time,

Banhammer40000 · 2024-08-22T15:57:05+00:00

Approach anxiety is a real thing. However it can be managed, negated by being outcome independent.

TiJulo · 2024-08-22T16:06:22+00:00

When I do approach it's because they have given me clear signs. I tried cold approaching and didn't like it.

Also, I don't like seeing every interaction as a potential conquest, i just say hi, talk casually and let it happen organically.

Hour_One_9504 · 2024-08-22T16:08:56+00:00

Depends on the person tbh. I only approach the fun ones.

jayjonas1996 · 2024-08-22T16:47:26+00:00

I’ve had history of being a victim of bullying and narcissism. so lots of self worth issues affecting social skills and reading women complain about men online doesn’t help on top of this. Changing three schools also doesn’t help. I’m getting professional help but having hard time explaining him what I feel.

halfwayup37 · 2024-08-22T16:47:32+00:00

I changed my view a bit. I don’t expect to fuck. I’ll go on fun dates, like a hike to a lake, an escape room, a fancy dinner. Whatever.

Enjoy my time and usually it works out for me after a couple dates

MaleficentFig7578 · 2024-08-22T16:48:00+00:00

it doesn't work, why bother? Sometimes I do. It still doesn't work.

mredge73 · 2024-08-22T16:53:33+00:00

It is inefficient compared to other methods. In my age group, Google says that only 17% of women are single. So if I approach everyone I am attracted to, greater than 4/5 will be in a LTR. The others may not want to date or not want to date me. I don't have the time or patience for this, nor the emotional energy to soak up all the rejections. I shopped online for love like I do everything else. Women here are ready to date, you just have to convince them to date you.

OkEmploy7185 · 2024-08-22T18:22:24+00:00

Fear

throwsaway045 · 2024-08-22T18:29:51+00:00

Anxiety, because I don't know what to say, because a pretty girl or a pretty face is just that at first impact you don't know her personality so to me they all look the same, because I know I don't want a relationship, I know I can't hook up or have sex so what's the point? And Risking of being rejected badly like you are shit and she is the queen..or mocked

Because I might be bisexual but still all of this would apply to a guy as well ..so I see basically no point

Superb-Bank9899 · 2024-08-22T18:54:59+00:00

I'm not ready. I need to work on myself first.

JustNefariousness625 · 2024-08-22T19:03:51+00:00

I approach it’s less competition these days. I won’t approach in the gym though I think it’s lame.

Nigelthornfruit · 2024-08-22T19:36:32+00:00

I used to approach 100 a week, but then Covid hit and the vibes on the street got more anxious and less playful, so it didn’t feel right. Now, I’m out of practice and have less time to commit to pounding pavement or staying up past 11pm.

Location and logistics is very important to maintain momentum, otherwise you have to rely on pure willpower and that only lasts until needs are met and thirst is quenched, or if you have solid wings and social side.

luotenrati12 · 2024-08-22T16:20:49+00:00

Because I'm a pussy

KinkyArrival · 2024-08-22T16:24:17+00:00

Most of them don't give a shit and have a sense of too much caution... So not worth the effort... Better if they notice us and finds us interesting... Happens rarely

toliveistocherish · 2024-08-22T17:50:18+00:00

because most guys are slackers, low self esteem, fearful, awkward and lazy, they want the hotties but they dont want the hardwork to learn the game.

they would rather go to a strip club, massage parlor or pron.

some are trying and will do it but without the necessary skills and mindset, it will be failure after failure.

learning seduction is like learning chess the higher the elo rating + experience the greater the success.

theres no magic pill.

MentalCelOmega · 2024-08-22T15:26:54+00:00

Female standards are too ridiculously high.
Nowadays, you can be arrested or charged due to #metoo. And the courts will always side with the females.
Females are just so unpleasant and vile to be around.

jjboy91 · 2024-08-22T17:55:33+00:00

I never encountered someone I was attracted to.

If I do most of the time I just crack jokes at people I cross paths with at events or parties but it's just for fun nothing else

Title	Any guys here who can explain why they don't approach?
Author	HistoricalMuscle2
Upvotes	30
Comments	113
Date	August 22, 2024 2:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1eykuca/any_guys_here_who_can_explain_why_they_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-guys-here-who-can-explain-why-they-dont.1528021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528021

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