How do I meet girls and make friends as a loner?

tohmmu · 2022-08-29T17:34:53+00:00

Oooof mate. I feel for you. Don’t worry though it all gets better

You got any hobby’s you can take outside? That’s a good start

I’m not sure you’re going to meet your soul mate in a club, sounds like you’re trying to play the dating game on new game plus+

Fr33Flow · 2022-08-29T20:46:50+00:00

You have to move to the city. If you’re a hour away from life, it’s gonna be a forever lonely life for you.

bologna_flaps · 2022-08-29T20:50:08+00:00

Start working out, read some books about social dynamics, and maybe cut your hair. Statistically women like short hair.

That may be a good start. Good luck bro. You’re not ugly and you seem like a decent dude. You should be fine. Just keep improving yourself.

Lonely_Man22 · 2022-08-29T19:59:36+00:00

I’m in the same boat as you. The best advice I can give you is to get into hobbies with women included, this doesn’t guarantee you will get a girlfriend.

Lohvrti · 2022-08-29T21:44:34+00:00

As my two very successful(with women, anyways,) friends say,

You've got to have the bollocks to look like a dickhead.

If you are scared of how you'll look from their side, then you won't come across as the type of person most girls will be interested in.

Try and start genuine conversations with people in a less clubby situation, IE a coffee shop, whether this is a random stranger or someone you want to hit on, and just see if you can make the conversation flow

The hardest part is getting over the anxiety of failing. Best way to get past it is to become a bit deadened to it by talking to lots of strangers.

gym_brah81 · 2022-08-29T20:09:57+00:00

Meetup.com might helpa

YourAverageTurkGuy · 2022-08-29T20:47:29+00:00

You're searching for "meaningful connections" at the club my dude, that's never gonna work. Being away from the town and going out once a week sounds tough. Hobbies and stuff are not viable I guess. You have to get out more, secure a friend group and maybe take things further wtih some of the people you meet. Securing a friend group is not as easy as hs/college I would imagine so you could try hobby groups.

dryo · 2022-08-29T20:40:38+00:00

"I'm nearing 30 and have had only one gf/sexual partner my entire life and that existential dread is killing me" I've had issues with people seeing someone decent as a bad trait, for me, that's a trait of a decent person, but by no means should you start dropping what you think it's ok with you to the trash, just ,do something that makes you feel happy, you're not 30 yet, so don't worry, focus on your happiness and the girls will follow.

Divine-Emperor · 2022-08-29T23:20:05+00:00

First thing is you've got to change your way of thinking. I can smell how desperate you are for affection through my phone screen. That scent is VERY unappealing to most women.

Secondly, get your friends to review your dating profiles, specifically your pictures and bio. If there are females, specifically ask if they would go out with you based on your profile only and adjust accordingly.

Lastly, your in person social game shouldn't be exclusive to bars. Even common places like the grocery store is a place where you can meet women.

zapadz · 2022-08-29T19:57:53+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REiKHCZpU6Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYp_hBqPbuA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu-wFuDqZws

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1q07WHuOs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnhWiq3E7eI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-jvM3NSs6Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xpFwrnRs2w&list=PLKPqMJTr6wCKl7I5-YrHRxLaslGrpoLsj

Think_History_5682 · 2022-08-29T19:54:46+00:00

Meetup

Ashdon_ · 2022-08-30T01:24:48+00:00

Can’t stay comfortable. Put yourself in uncomfortable places and situations and get confident through trial and error. It’s the only way.

Titty_Slicer_5000 · 2022-08-29T18:50:54+00:00

What kind of music do you like? Going to live music shows and music festivals is a great way to enjoy yourself even if you’re alone, but also to meet people you’re more likely to vibe with well. I love electronic music and I have made a ton of friends from shows and festivals. I have also met plenty of women there too. And I’ve had a great time doing it because I’m listening to music I like. While I still occasionally go to clubs and bars, electronic music shows are 100x more fun for me simply because of the music and the crowd. I’d highly recommend some kind of electronic music events. There’s really a wide range of sub genres, I’m sure you can find one that you like. People at electronic music events are generally very friendly and nice.

LoftyLife420 · 2022-08-30T00:14:08+00:00

Very hard to do as a loner but not impossible. I’ve been a loner for the last few years due to all my friends moving out of state, made it a lot harder to pull women. So I joined a car club a few weeks ago and we went to a trail ride last weekend as a group and we all wore our group vests. The women literally surrounded us. I got 4 numbers, made out with 2 gorgeous women and almost had sex in my car. I’d suggest finding a mens group to hone your social skills and give you social proof

Salty_Ad7414 · 2022-08-30T05:59:16+00:00

Bro, hear me out. There’s plenty of woman out there for you to meet. It’s literally a numbers game. See a cute girl in your vicinity and she doesn’t seem terribly busy ? Say hi! Easy as that! Coffee shops, cocktail bars or heck even the library at that! Go window shopping and talk to people. Make friends with everyone and you’ll not only find a gal but make friends along the way. Here’s the secret : Most woman are just as lonely as us but have a VAST support network of friends and others that they can choose from. Your job is to smooze on through and say hi!

underground_Luau · 2022-08-29T22:32:31+00:00

Get a hobby you’re passionate about and connect with like minded people in your area

Mr_mlg_p00p · 2022-08-29T20:30:56+00:00

Idk if im the best person to give you advice but if you stay consistent with a sport you are going to meet people and those could become closer friends. Also be vonurable around the friends you meet

PsychologicalLion348 · 2022-08-30T00:05:27+00:00

First, good work on going out! "Loosening up a bit" means your brain has habituated to a fear-inducing stimulus -- you're braver at anatomical level because you did not sit inside, and you should be proud of that.

When you get older, new friends (those not made during your formative years) are formed in the workplace or around shared interests: art, music, sports, comedy, craft beer, religion/lack thereof, money, etc. for example -- not so much clubs.

What are you interested in? Go look into groups that gather around that interest.

That said, it sounds like mostly a logistical issue: you're not around enough people. I would come up with a plan that involves getting you out of your current location.

DepressedECEKid · 2022-08-30T01:29:20+00:00

Dress well (go on pinterest and search for men style), get yourself a good haircut, start working out asap. This will make your life much easier

Miggysmalls801 · 2022-08-30T03:51:55+00:00

Forst i must ask, why did you guys break up? What was your fault? What was the learning lesson? Were you insecure. Did you focus too much on titles, did you have anger issues, were you to closed off....anything?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-08-30T04:01:59+00:00

but since June I've been going out more, mostly to clubs. Everyone I meet who I exchange socials with never stay in touch.

Keep in mind clubs aren't the only way to meet women. Do you even enjoy clubs and are you compatible with the type of people who go to clubs regularly? You need to diversify the ways you meet women. For example, meeting women through your social circle, or other social events, activities, and places.

I never get any activity online across all the dating platforms I use.

Men outnumber women 4 to 1 online so thats not a surprise. Keep improving your pics and your messaging, and spend some time every week on the apps.

I'm tired of being trapped in my humdrum life, I'm just dying to meet someone again.

You don't need a relationship to escape a humdrum life. You can do that while you are single and this will help you in dating.

RosenTurd · 2022-08-30T06:23:10+00:00

Practice is the only education you need.

Zhai · 2022-08-30T06:25:44+00:00

Walk before you run man. If you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. Start sending CVs to some bigger city and relocate. I know it's not easy but if you have comfort of your job now, there's no risk involved. Worst can happen is that you get an offer. To get friends best recommendation is to join local groups for your hobby.

soumil1995 · 2022-08-30T08:23:59+00:00

You need to go out and Game. Period.

xxyxxyyyx · 2022-08-30T11:35:51+00:00

Over 90 comments so i think my advice won't matter but don't approach the thing with thoughts like how do I make friends and how do I get a girlfriend.

If you go out with the intention to make friends you might (just maybe) seem desperate and people will turn you down one way or another, they might hangout one night but never invite you on their own.

You are in a shit time right now but fuck it and do something new and just for yourself, try a new hobby. Even better do something regularly, if you go to a library every week the same day people will remember your face, and If you start to remember theirs a conversation will be super easy. Library was just a example, you could play soccer dungeon or dragons, skating, lifting, swimming whatever, do it for yourself you will meet people on the way

CandyKittyKing · 2022-08-29T20:27:23+00:00

dont worry bro, I know this sounds like a joke but its not, the fuckable andriods are just a few more years away but they're coming, give it about another 10 years. they just need to get the ball rolling on humanoid like soldiers first, once they're able to hold a rifle and destroy each other then they'll roll out the bipedal worker robots, then finally the full pleasure bot line.

24mech · 2022-08-29T22:43:00+00:00

Besides that social life… Go out and enjoy nature.. when you get active and vibrant then you attract attention. That’s when you meet people. Then you meet like minded people. Usually things fall in their place. That’s what I did. Met a lot of partners and had GFs along the way.

Vegetable-Spot-7616 · 2022-08-29T23:03:49+00:00

buddhawannabe · 2022-08-30T02:42:52+00:00

Move. Seriously, you need to be closer to other humans. I don't particularly even like people but your situation sounds lonely being that far from possible interactions with others. You've just gotta go out and start doing things, once a week ain't gonna cut it.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-08-29T17:48:17+00:00

By not being a loner?

Be social, make friends, do fun/cool stuff. Doing all of these things will make you a more attractive person and also connect you with more women, giving you more opportunities to date.

T-Shirt_Nerd · 2022-08-29T22:45:42+00:00

Tinder

unequipd · 2022-08-29T23:38:21+00:00

Well for starters don’t take advice from this creepy seduction site! You are just a baby still, my 20’s sucked romantically. Contrary to popular belief it gets better as everyone ages and grows up a little. Do online dating. It’s great for introverts. And, btw, women don’t care how much sexual experience you have had…

TooMuchJibberish · 2022-08-29T20:31:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ILostFull1 · 2022-08-29T21:34:46+00:00

Don’t look for happiness in the dating game. Look at it as just icing on your cake of life. It’s about the journey not the destination and happiness is not an end goal it’s just something that happens along the way and it goes away just like and bad day you have it all passes eventually. Don’t stress just trust your instinct and do what you want. Fuck the pressure everyone puts on each other everyone’s got their own path their trying to follow. Just help other on the way to their path and stay out of your own way when going on yours. Just live life on go don’t think about it.

inline6throwaway · 2022-08-29T21:36:02+00:00

You gotta start talking to random people man. I'm an introvert, not super introvert but I am still one. A bit of a loner and shy. But eventually I was able to just start talking to strangers. It helps to have some depth of thought on different things so you have quite a bit to talk about

chey9876 · 2022-08-29T22:36:34+00:00

I know this feeling and I’m on the opposite side being a female. I broke up with my bf not too long ago, and it hasn’t been easy. I’m not into online dating or hookups. Just trying to find someone genuine who can match my energy, who can be the other half of a powerful dynamic duo. There’s no one right way to work through this situation but just get out there, take classes if there’s anything around you, go to events around your area. It’s not easy, but doing something out there in the world that makes you happy, you may just find the person for you out there.

Maxx_Darkglare · 2022-08-29T22:43:32+00:00

Are you hot? Do you look like someone people see as mean or cool or chill? You need to be one of those things to get girls at a club and to matter in a club. If you’re already those things then you’re doing something very wrong. It could be you’re making stupid mistakes that make you a joke or you’re being nice when people expect you to be mean. It’s probly the first one

Only_Potential · 2022-08-29T23:36:06+00:00

Do you know the feeling of being buzzed? Feeling somewhat good yet aloof? You should feel that way anytime you talk to other people. To be happy and easygoing, not caring in the world whether you're able to make a new friend or not.

Eatdarich69 · 2022-08-29T23:36:54+00:00

U dont

Agreeable-You9777 · 2022-08-29T23:42:08+00:00

You need to be happy that you only had one girl. You shouldn’t rely on having sex with girls to be happy. It will come and go, you need to make peace with that. Enjoy the next girl when you have her but also enjoy the alone time you have with yourself. Without a gf you have more free time, more money, hang with friends. It’s ok bro

marshall_strud · 2022-08-29T23:51:38+00:00

Read the mystery method and the pick up artist by mystery, also the game by style

cormacru999 · 2022-08-30T01:14:40+00:00

You stop being a loner by doing things with other people. You do things with other people by going to where people go to do things. You could start with online groups that share likes of yours, gaming, comics, movies, books, etc. Go into it to just make friends & go from there.

Its kind of strange that there are all these men seduction gurus & yet men seem to have no idea how to mingle with other people.

IneffableLiam · 2022-08-30T01:35:33+00:00

Relatable bro

Queasy-Hall-705 · 2022-08-30T01:46:21+00:00

Embrace yourself and they will come

Rthepirate · 2022-08-30T01:50:28+00:00

Dance

LLORD_FARQUAD · 2022-08-30T02:22:14+00:00

Maybe start hanging out at a local coffee shop. If you’re just looking for hook ups, then go to clubs & find some chicks, but you won’t find anybody that wants anything serious. You seem to enjoy a quiet life considering you live out in BFE, maybe also consider attending local events like car shows, fairs, etc.

MonchichiSalt · 2022-08-30T03:16:33+00:00

Be polarizing. And by that I mean be who you are and only bend to listen to sound reasoning, even though you know you're going to investigate further.

Dude, just be yourself. When you click with the right person, yeah there will be attraction, however if you don't feel like you can be yourself... Worst case scenario you made new friend.

milatzo · 2022-08-30T03:45:01+00:00

go to the gym and make gymbros to hang out with ( gym = any activity u like )

IceTraining9941 · 2022-08-30T05:26:34+00:00

Go to a Mexican dance and dress up like a drug trafficker. It's a long shot

TheTruth221 · 2022-08-30T06:11:04+00:00

meet some friends at cheese games then meet their social circle to meet females

burncushlikewood · 2022-08-30T06:40:47+00:00

https://youtu.be/9mVFtDiMyLY Gotta work on your game at the club, that seems like your best bet, picking women is difficult and takes time to develop these skills, but when you learn what to do it becomes easier, women can be tough I understand, how many times I've seen men get rejected, and they may let you down easy because they may not want to hurt your feelings. Watch Richard la Ruina's videos on night game, then go out and do some approaches!

NuKidOnThBlokchyn · 2022-08-30T07:15:51+00:00

Travel. That's my best advice for all these issues.

spottyottydopalicius · 2022-08-30T07:57:08+00:00

start lifting, get in shape, work on your wardrobe maybe get a makeover, and overall work on yourself, find some hobbies, maybe get an escort if you feel inclined (it will help clear your head). finding a partner takes time, this way atleast you're investing in yourself in the long run. we've all been there my guy, sending juju your way. stay up, dont be too hard on yourself. one quote that i like and helps me is that confidence isnt knowing you wont be rejected, its knowing you'll be okay either way.

jhestaaaa · 2022-08-30T08:26:31+00:00

27f I’m in Okc and we can just hang or do more haha hit me up

Wizzle_P · 2022-08-30T08:40:54+00:00

Try in person it’s easier to face ones self if you join a club league group or other gathering. Let the focus always stay off those who you are attracted to you, and keep it on task. Allow them space to want you, it works well that way. Get a restaurant job and get to know and build with your co-workers. Spend time learning about other people and their problems. If you sense you’re loosing patience remember that patience and tolerance is part of growth. They may someday introduce you to people that gives you social merit and emotional credit. Those things are sought after by women these days.

vandaalen · 2022-08-30T08:56:18+00:00

Go get a hobby you are passionate about and seek people who share it.

For me it was BJJ, but it can be anything. Even "nerdy" stuff like LARPing or shit.

MKAHl · 2022-08-30T11:05:00+00:00

Activities. Clubs for hookups sure. To meet someone and form a relationship (whatever that maybe) there must be common ground such as: an activity. All your life wither in school, college, playing Sports etc. Common ground came to you... Now you must come to it... Be brave. Be confident . And most importantly be a gentleman (a.k.a just the right amount of nice). Btw nothing is absolute... Every rule has its exceptions. Plus this is only my opinion! I hope I helped :D

reddunt3 · 2022-08-30T13:42:04+00:00

First of all: move to a city. It might be hard and scary but do it. Waaaaay more chances for you there.

Second: stock standard advice but are you hitting the gym? Sounds like your average in terms of looks like I am (facial) I guarantee you looking fit will help. I was in your exactl situation. Getting fit gave me confidence and even online dating started to work way more. Work hard, you can do it!

cryptosis420 · 2022-08-30T14:39:26+00:00

Bro pick a hobby like surfing or martial arts or something. Thats how you find honeys that have the same passions as you. Find your purpose...

DeanG30 · 2022-08-31T07:40:05+00:00

Not everyone is for online dating, but have you considered trying it out? If you find anyone worth meeting you can arrange a date and get to know them. This can also help break up the constant requirement to always go out on your own to a club if that's where you're comfortable, but it's not the best environment to meet someone.

burakbenxd · 2022-08-31T07:45:30+00:00

Your problem is that you're actively looking for a relationship. You need to change your mindset, and focus on yourself. If you think your fashion is bad, change it up. You do not need to spend exorbant amounts of money either...

I highly recommend losing that desperate attitude, focusing on your hobbies/career, and take care of yourself. When you feel happy, and confident about yourself, you will give off that energy.

I was like you too, actually, a 4-5 months ago before I actively utilized the advice given in this sub-reddit. Since then, I dropped all the losers in my life. What do I mean by losers? The dudes that are ultra into religion, or come home after work, and get drunk and play video games, then masturbate and sleep. The friends now I actively hangout with are MD's and Ph.D's, like myself, and in their late 20's.

Friends also matter a lot!

Once you have everything, go outside, and approach! That's how I met my last girlfriend, which lasted one month, since I got rid of her. Now I'm going another date with another girl relatively soon.

815-420-6969 · 2022-08-29T21:42:40+00:00

Just do what I did and fuck your cousin

Title	How do I meet girls and make friends as a loner?
Author	starlord78
Upvotes	294
Comments	105
Date	August 29, 2022 5:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x0umbc/how_do_i_meet_girls_and_make_friends_as_a_loner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-meet-girls-and-make-friends-as-a-loner.1251002 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251002

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