[deleted by user]

recyclablebanthas · 2021-09-01T02:55:41+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it breaks Rule 1. Posts like this about specific girls or specific situations belong in AskSeddit.

I know this was likely unintentional: please read the rules next time before commenting and posting.

lucifer0915 · 2021-08-31T19:26:47+00:00

Why don’t you cut her off?

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-08-31T19:35:49+00:00

Yeah ur not in friendzone. Ur in her fanClub..

Giving mixed signals, push-pulling u to keep on your toes. Why? Free food, free ride, fun n entertainment, provider etc.. why give you something if all these she can get just like that.

If ur ok to be in that place, then can’t blame her at all.

Ps: 3days and not even a kiss.. thats not a great time, dude. Thats a waste of time

ProfundaBrachii · 2021-08-31T20:10:00+00:00

Got to the ex part and flirting with you. Stopped reading there.

Bro. You her side ting/option

Block and move. Never ever ever contact her who sees you as an option. You ain’t nobody’s option.

You someone’s king. Keep grinding and work on yourself.

tophatshaw · 2021-08-31T20:17:12+00:00

You're a place holder until the next guy comes around.

Calamity__Bane · 2021-08-31T20:37:09+00:00

My advice isn't necessarily to cut her off, but definitely disengage and find someone else. She's keeping you there because she feels like she has you, and for whatever reason, she doesn't want to change your relationship status. She probably just likes feeling like she has an option. If you have someone else, though, she'll see that there's a real chance she'll lose you, and will either respond by escalating in a bid to keep you, or by disengaging, both of which will solve your problem.

Western-Trade-7553 · 2021-08-31T20:57:43+00:00

You are allowing her to behave like this. She gives you no kiss/no physical thing, but you give her the fun, the affection, the activities. You're basically her female best friend

j2bbt238 · 2021-08-31T19:28:39+00:00

didnt read but cut her off

Kevmarod · 2021-08-31T19:43:47+00:00

Cut her off bro show her u aint playing no games

joy_collision · 2021-08-31T20:33:58+00:00

She's dragging you along as an option because you make her feel good, but not good enough. She probably doesn't think you are worth the investment to move forward with. I could be totally wrong, but this is what I think is going on.

ORIONFULL23 · 2021-08-31T20:03:14+00:00

Women enjoy having options, you're just one option more for her, she's not gonna close the door or progress the relationship, cut her off

MrDownhillRacer · 2021-08-31T20:30:39+00:00

Who cares why? The universe is full of more interesting mysteries than what's going on in this chick's head.

Spend your time doing more valuable things, like solving the mystery of why there is more matter then anti-matter, dating girls who don't play guessing games with you, etc.

Imwaymoreflythanyou · 2021-08-31T21:26:42+00:00

She’s keeping you as an option, a plan B, a fail safe. Just something women do as a backup plan. They play these types of games cos they know it maximises the amount of guys they have to revolve around them and give them attention/validation.

Also from what you’ve said seems very much like she’s manipulating the fact she knows you like her, hence the flirting and constant mixed signals. They just get off on the attention you provide them with.

I’d honestly abort the situation if you don’t want the same thing and you’ve expressed what you want. It will only get worse. Keep things strictly work related but polite at work and move on from her entirely outside of that.

OWSucks · 2021-08-31T20:41:23+00:00

Stop letting her be a twat.

Either do something or don't.

Marinaraplease · 2021-08-31T20:56:33+00:00

Keep trying bro one day you'll get there and she will give in and say yes, you'll get married, have kids, divorce, she'll get to keep everything and you'll be sleeping under a rock

Safe-Investigator271 · 2021-08-31T19:32:01+00:00

Do it rn o p i dare you, cut her off

hazelxnutz · 2021-08-31T20:16:16+00:00

Dont cut her off but set your boundries, let her know you wont be always available by putting first what you want before what she wants.

messymonstro-_- · 2021-08-31T22:05:18+00:00

I have a friend like that. She just likes to get the attention of men so she strings them along even if she's not into them. Gives her a confidence boost or something but ofc it's not right.

If I were you I would just be honest and say this is it or you must stop playing games. But honestly someone who just sets you aside when an ex comes to town and when she's done with them comes back to you doesn't deserve the attention in my opinion.

make_me_a_good_girl · 2021-08-31T21:28:01+00:00

It's called backbenching. She's keeping you around and interested in case the rest of her roster falls through or gets traded (to extend the sports metaphor awkwardly).

As someone else here said, you are more than one girl's option. You can keep her around as a side peice if you're both nonmonogamous, but if there are rumours at work that might be bad for your career. You can be someone else's everything if you make time to find that someone else. Spending time on this chick is not gonna get you out into the world where Ms. Someone Else is looking for you.

Undercovermother19 · 2021-08-31T23:56:20+00:00

OP she is using you. She is in love with her ex and she is just keeping you on the side in the event that things do not work out with him. What i would suggest that you do is to cut her off and stop letting her use you for free attention. You should go no-contact with her and just let her know that you wont play the part of being her substitute lover. If she tries to get with you simply tell her that it does not seem that she interested in you and that you have moved on. Run OP, RUN!!!

rocker5x · 2021-08-31T20:54:38+00:00

She is there to give you self respect , you will earn it now

lovesodapop · 2021-08-31T21:20:01+00:00

Be honest with her and your self. Maybe go on a date and ask why shes pushing pulling, and then also say (in a not butt hurt way which is super important dont forget this) you have feeling for her and if she doesn’t for you thats fine and if she does great but being in limbo is not okay. Set those boundaries. Otherwise shes gonna make you feel like shit and have you thinking about her all night or weeks over something that to her means nothing.

msm0ch4 · 2021-08-31T23:17:06+00:00

Your wasting your time clearly. Stop. There are plenty of fishes out there. She won't be over her ex sadly! She's holding onto him. I am too that's why I know lmfao! Don't be the other dude seriously move the fuck on! Do you want me to help you find girls?! I will be glad to do so! It's all about confidence and making moves amd not giving up! Find me on IG! 💪🏾

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-08-31T20:47:33+00:00

RUN away from this woman.

OffDead · 2021-08-31T21:01:24+00:00

She ain’t into you bud

livehardSP1969 · 2021-08-31T21:33:45+00:00

Your a spinning plate to her! Just an option in case all else fails with the ex! She probably has 4or5 other spinning plates she tries to keep besides you!

KrAzyDrummer · 2021-08-31T21:38:47+00:00

You're her backup. She'll keep you on the leash until she finds a better option.

Cut her off. Move on. Not just for show, for real. You don't need that kind of behavior and disrespect in your life.

Onlinebeast05 · 2021-08-31T21:51:05+00:00

I think your gonna have to refer to the crazy and hot scale to determine if you cut her off or disengage

bigblackshaq · 2021-08-31T23:04:29+00:00

And if she’s not interested in me as more than a friend why does she continue to go out with me?

This is probably not the answer you'd want to hear, but she's keeping you on the back-burner just in case.

tgm93 · 2021-08-31T23:09:00+00:00

"Non guy friend things" everything you described a woman would do with a friend. Especially a gay friend. The only difference between friendship activities and dates is the intimacy. I'd say slow fade this one.

rkaniminew · 2021-08-31T23:58:04+00:00

Simple fix, fuck another girl. Then ignore her. You'll be happier.

iVisionX01 · 2021-09-01T00:47:30+00:00

Go on dates with other girls and tell her about it.

reddit_chino · 2021-09-01T00:49:34+00:00

Dude, in your most private and intimate moments; you just need to whip-it-out...and see what happens.

lllllool · 2021-09-01T00:52:05+00:00

Bro she most likely needs dick

swardhan · 2021-09-01T00:56:42+00:00

Some situations are hard to get out of.

My suggestion would be to just find someone else in any way. I mean if you are emotionally attached you should definately cut her off. Sooner the better.

Otherwise if you are fine with it just find other women too. If you too dont want this to end you'll have her in someway anyways. So why not try on others too.

Seems like you keep on waiting for her to do something for reassurance of your relationship. Your end of the relationship is clear, you want her. Hers is not. So don't feel guilty for trying on other women.

But if you just want her and no one else, you start treating her like a friend. Hang out but don't make moves. And meet only when she wants. I'm not asking you to play hard to get. Just have a fun time and nothing else and if it isn't fun, ehy are you there anyways.

And the same shit as always, don't let it ruin your mental space.

Edit: Simp is just a word people use for anyone nowadays. Don't think of it that way. In your space be greater than her and think of it from above. If you still are around her be greater. No immature shit like keep trying on her and she keeps rejecting you. Stop lusting on her if you do. Lust is a sin for a reason.

EU-Howdie · 2021-09-01T02:19:44+00:00

You let her play with you !! Let her abuse tou / your feelingsHave you no self respect. I would stop being her friend. I think then she will give you more, kisses, some hanky panky, to keep you in your role. Just enough that you are her friend again.

To me this behavior works the wrong way. I would not take her as a friend or as something more even when she would ask me to become a couple. I realise that you are just 21 but she is no good, she is playing with you and with her ex and abusing your hope and romantic feelings.

rokken70 · 2021-08-31T20:13:47+00:00

It can be hard if you’re co-workers, but I would cut her off, BUT use the co-worker thing as the reason. Hopefully that’ll make things less awkward in the workplace.

Narcan9 · 2021-08-31T21:25:56+00:00

You need to friend zone her. Start dating other women who won't play games.

When she starts pushing to regain your attention, tell her you're busy. Never tell her directly, but let it slip to a few co-workers that you're dating another woman. She'll find out about it.

Pipnotiq · 2021-08-31T22:06:17+00:00

You have two options:

Obviously, cut her off
Plan out a date for the two of you, but play hard to get. Don't make a move, don't kiss, if she tries anything be like "Oooh no, we're friends now, the ship has sailed". Tell her you're practicing so your next actual date is a success. Tease but be firm. Flipping the script like this will likely get her to chase you.

gangweedsavedme · 2021-08-31T22:28:31+00:00

Sorry to break it to you, but you’re a Beta bro😥

Daveee5280 · 2021-08-31T22:19:46+00:00

Don't cut her off. To me that seems like a real "nice guy" move. A "you're not giving what I want so fuck you" kinda vibe. Be better than that.

BUT, you should absolutely focus less of your time and energy on her. Be nice to her, but be social with other people at work. Don't always gravitate towards her. Don't be so available outside of work. Don't constantly text with her.

Hang out with other people. Focus on improving yourself. If she asks you to hangout tell you can't right now because you're trying to: get in shape, go out less, you're going out with other people, whatever. But don't let it just be an excuse actually do something to improve yourself. Girls love guys with aspirations and goals. Make her walk with you on your path. Don't follow her down hers.

Remember if nothing changes nothing changes. Don't just sit around and wait for the change to be a new guy comes into her life.

Otherwise-Persimmon5 · 2021-08-31T21:57:42+00:00

Maybe she doesn’t want to poop where she eats.

krispykreme01 · 2021-08-31T23:15:54+00:00

Be mindful of your thoughts anakin they betray you. She’s playing you like a fiddle my young padawan.

She likes the chase likes the attention and a backup plan which you are.

My advice might be a controversial one but Looks like you need more experience so I would say meet her in the field. She’s clearly manipulating you so try to beat her at her own game you will learn a great deal on tactics these type of women use. Follow instruction below you were down bad so this process might take awhile 1-2 months. Slowly sprinkle this stuff in and don’t stress or take it too seriously because she doesn’t take you serious already.

The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. YOU HAVE TO GET HER TO START CHASING YOU. STOP CHASING HER.

If you haven’t done this Start flirting with other girls you work with. See how she reacts respond accordingly.
Start to Be cold/distant blow her off the whole day don’t flirt with her the whole day etc. if she asks you what’s wrong say nothing you good. Act like you good don’t fold.
Stop going out with her but start to tease her at work once you think you’ve been cold/distant long enough be sweet and flirtatious out of nowhere.
By this time it should on equal playing fields or she should be chasing you. If she is chasing you now go on a date and go for it neck kissing bro. Be cool
That’s it man if she doesn’t start chasing you it’s over as a last ditch effort you can confess your feeling to her to get her even more confused then start at step one again. Say I want you but I’m not gonna wait on you forever I have other options. 6.During this time she will try to find a crack in your armor and you’ll see her manipulative tactics for what they are don’t get lost in the sauce. Also don’t play this game for too long remember you’re here for data you virgin.

Have sex with other girls stop focusing on her but Never stop doing 1 keep switching between 2-3 as you see fit. Maybe stop 1 when she starts chasing you for a short period but never permanently. She will eventually see your play so if you haven’t secured the box by then all is lost.

WARNING ⚠️ These tactics are very toxic and will lead to a lot of drama in your workplace. Plus these women are typically dangerous meaning they will start to spread rumors about you throughout work or cockblock you with other females. If you fold or show weakness throughout she will find a new work boyfriend to spite you. Godspeed

TheRealAlkemyst · 2021-08-31T23:43:14+00:00

She is playing you man and loving it. Probably bragging to her friends how she has you wrapped around her finger. She's probably hoping to push you into the rape/assault zone and brag even more.

Dump her.

Espresso2009 · 2021-08-31T20:57:29+00:00

The story is not short at all, maybe you're nagging too much?

Tannerite2 · 2021-08-31T21:41:45+00:00

She's playing games, keeping you in orbit. Pull back. Start talking to other girls.

ikigai0511 · 2021-08-31T21:56:55+00:00

Seriously, cut her off. Today

bigbootynopussy · 2021-08-31T22:12:03+00:00

Just ask for clarity and if she says she doesnt know, cut her off yourself.

2021-08-31T22:22:02+00:00

Don’t reward her bad Behaviour, “tell her no next time” see where it goes … little experiment of sort

dreameater42 · 2021-08-31T23:12:14+00:00

she likes the attention

1201Seattle · 2021-08-31T23:16:14+00:00

She’s wants the attention dude. Cut her off she has no interest in dating you.

She already turned you away to try with her ex once. How do you know the second someone else comes a long she won’t leave for them.

Weary-Experience-149 · 2021-08-31T23:24:57+00:00

Congratulations! Looks like you're her official Plan B / Orbiter. If you're cool with that, by all means don't change anything about how you guys engage. If you want to change things around you should start talking to other girls and see how she reacts. If she gets jealous it's a good sign that you can still salvage this situation. If she doesn't care, well move on. Life is too short to waste your time with someone who doesn't think you're a priority.

freestrong · 2021-08-31T23:32:06+00:00

You’re her backup.

Alonso81687 · 2021-08-31T23:32:26+00:00

I've been in this situation. She likes the attention and she's not getting it from her ex, so naturally you'll do as you're a former flame. So to put it kindly, she wants to be with you, just not right now............ Read that again. If you don't get what I'm saying, it's she's stringing you along.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-08-31T23:52:45+00:00

She enjoys having you as an orbiter. People don't cut you off if they're getting what they want from you. YOU are the one that's unhappy with the status quo, so it's up to YOU to change the situation.

slash03 · 2021-09-01T00:02:42+00:00

I had a woman say” but I always get the tip”When I take her out to dinner, like that was supposed to be enough. You are entertainment, demand the love you need. She might actually respect it if you do.

2021-09-01T00:08:37+00:00

Have you thought to ask her how she feels or what she’s thinking?

paddywacknack · 2021-09-01T00:16:22+00:00

Invest in other women.

AUG-UAA-UAG-UGA · 2021-09-01T00:29:17+00:00

Directly ask her if you don’t like the answer move on

2021-09-01T00:57:35+00:00

You're a placeholder for something she really wants. She doesn't want to be alone but she doesn't want to be with you. Rule of thumb is if you're confused about whether a woman likes you, the answer is no.

Temporary_Bullfrog41 · 2021-09-01T00:59:42+00:00

ill keep it simple and short. show abundance of girls around you. flirt with other girls especially at your job lol. upload pics with multiple girls in your arms at parties or gatherings. these maybe platonic but she doesnt know. its numbers game still. dont invest in one bag

fafxuwize · 2021-09-01T01:21:22+00:00

youre being kept on the backburner

D-Lorean · 2021-09-01T01:27:06+00:00

She probably just having fun with you. The why doesn't matter. She's not worth the anxiety she's causing you. Just stop taking her seriously

SpookyKG · 2021-09-01T01:33:18+00:00

Why isn't the person living rent free in your head, getting all the attention she wants, cutting you off? Oh I wonder.

TheSoulsCrusher · 2021-09-01T01:40:20+00:00

She’s definitely playing with you my boi! She says no friendzone, it really look like friendzone!

captainmilei · 2021-09-01T01:50:10+00:00

Bro, you are her second option. Don't make that harmful to you. Cut her off and look for another girl that really apreciates you. There are lots of women; don't suffer because of one

NoOutlandishness9892 · 2021-09-01T01:56:03+00:00

Your her attention tampon. Stop giving her attention when she flirts and she will pursue you harder.

Western-Bite1759 · 2021-09-01T02:00:07+00:00

Sounds like she just likes attention honestly. Some girls are like that. They are always in some kind of relationships. Either a real one or something like this. They need a guy around them. Problem is, she needs you around her for the wrong reasons lol.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	115
Comments	112
Date	August 31, 2021 7:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pfcv3v/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1277126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277126

Comments