Eye contact when the other person doesn't break it first

7udgerKresnik · 2020-10-12T09:57:01+00:00

Lol then break eye contact if it's a man. I think you should only apply this to woman.

norwegiandoggo · 2020-10-12T11:37:29+00:00

I'm reading Models and it says never to break eye contact first.

Well, I'm sorry to say but Models is wrong in this regard. It's okay to break eye contact first. Just act human. Dating is not a staredown contest. You may come across creepy as fuck.

ethical_pa · 2020-10-12T13:47:26+00:00

Keeping eye contact is a good exercise, having to do with social or sexual tension, in some cases dominance, etc.

But ultimately you’re dealing with the symptom not the root cause. You don’t have to be 100% at peace like a monk or something. But if you are well grounded, secure with yourself and emotionally stable, the eye contact is no big deal. Keeping it is not a source of tension. It’s more of a form of connecting with people.

Most of the time, it’s totally friendly. I have no problem following it up with a smile or a nod. If it goes on for a long time; then I decide what I want to do with the interaction. Honestly though, I don’t often have time or the interest in engaging random people so I often will do the friendly smile and/or nod and break first so I can go about my day.

Engage the person: any situational/random opener. I’ve done this so many times. It’s a well practiced skill for me. No tension. If female, it might take on a flirty tone. If male then friendly. This is probably why people tend to break eye contact first. They can feel like you are ready to follow it up. A lot of people are just coping in life. They aren’t ready for an energized interaction. Even if positive.

Ignore them: again my choice. If I do this it’s because the person is needy or toxic. Crazy person, I’ll completely shut them out. Sad reality if living in a city. Agressive or toxic individual; I might give them a friendly nod and smile and keep going about my business. I mean.. not many people fuck with me. So it’s not common. I’m not a big guy by any means. But I give off a certain vibe. A lot of times though, it’s not really that they want to fuck with you. But you can tell by people’s eyes and demeanour that they are in a negative state and looking for conflict. They’re primed to detect any perceived slight , insult, or injustice. This is both for males and females. That’s why I give the friendly nod/smile and gracefully move on. That little bit of positivity, they can usually receive well.

Guy looking at me assuming dominance: I’ve got my life in order. I don’t need to prove anything. But there’s no tension for me. I can stare right back. How’s your life? You good? I mean usually successful men don’t do this. If they maintain eye contact it’s because they want to engage. I’m more than happy to.

TLDR: holding eye contact. Good outer game. But as with everything, it’s a combo of inner and outer.

revente · 2020-10-12T11:41:00+00:00

Never break it first!!! If he persist and it gets real awkward there's a trick! Just blow him! I guarantee you, he won't be able hold throught the climax!

kaya719 · 2020-10-12T10:15:41+00:00

Actually I'm a girl and I can't have eye contact with others. If I suddenly have with anyone, I always broke it first. That's really weird. But damn it..i just can't whenever I try.

saim_19 · 2020-10-12T10:32:29+00:00

Finally something like this. Eye contact has been a big thing these last couple of years. I usally keep eye contact with anyone as long as i can. Not gay as well. Its just like showing you aint afraid. Sort of domanancy. The more i keep eye contact the easier it gets to talk to people as well. Cause keeping eye contact can sometimes be harder than starting a converation. Or it even leads to a conversation. Even animals. Dogs cats parrots. I always try to keep contact. It is so strange. It is comunication on a subconscious level. It is fun.

Jdhdjeowjzb · 2020-10-12T15:06:52+00:00

Stare everybody down on the street till they fight you

BipolarMadness · 2020-10-12T15:09:51+00:00

Well, in prison if you break eye contact early on it show you are weak. If you keep it for to long you are signaling threats, even if you didn't mean it. It's not about who breaks it first but when you break it...

Oh, you mean like... in regular day to day with another guy?

Just act like a regular human being, dude. Don't break the eye contact if they notice you are looking at them (it shows you were looking but are ashamed of doing it). Don't keep it up to long, is creepy af. Just be a normal person.

originalgainster · 2020-10-12T13:56:02+00:00

You kiss the guy

ImJustSo · 2020-10-12T16:14:11+00:00

"Never" is extreme. You basically just shouldn't avoid it and you should develop a comfort in making eye contact. If a woman is attractive to you, then don't break eye contact. It's an intimate act of nonverbal communication. You're acknowledging another person, you are seeing them and you're communicating that you're comfortable with them seeing you.

Eye contact is uncomfortable because subconsciously we know all these things and it's simply easier to avoid feeling any of those things. It's easy to not walk up and talk to someone you find attractive. It's easy to avoid rejection. It's easy to never leave your comfort zone.

What if hardly anything made you uncomfortable?

What if nothing really bothered you that often?

What if you just had this Zen experience with life and you appreciated the small things, smiled easily, didn't think negative thoughts about yourself or others?

What if looking another person in their eyes was never uncomfortable any longer? What if you just looked wherever you felt like looking without worrying that it meant something else than just seeing?

What if a woman looked into your eyes and each time, that's what she saw? A man that's bothered by nothing, isn't aggressive, isn't negative, smiles with his eyes, smiles at people who looks at him, doesn't seem afraid, or anxious, or anything but just a happy, childlike, mythical elf being, frolicking through life.

It's seductive. It seduces women, men, old ladies, cats, dogs, business executives, flight attendants. It seduces everyone, because it's comforting. It's beautiful.

So, like I said you should develop comfort in eye contact.

AligatorTears · 2020-10-12T20:27:07+00:00

If neither of you breaks eye contact then you have to kiss.

omkar-m · 2020-10-12T13:48:53+00:00

In models The author explains how to make eye contact with men i think it is epoxy eye section. In short make eye contact with them for certain period of time and then break it but don’t look down, look at their right or left or you will be seen as submissive.

tibles20 · 2020-10-12T10:07:58+00:00

I don't do eye contact

letsgetrandy · 2020-10-12T14:17:44+00:00

Eye contact is a direct invasion of personal space. In the realm of seduction, and when done in measurement, that can be good thing. But there is no circumstance where prolonged eye contact is not a sign of aggression.

Elocai · 2020-10-12T16:40:00+00:00

Say "no homo" then go for the kiss

tredditr · 2020-10-12T19:46:25+00:00

Eye contact is very different to staring at a person. Eye contact is always mutual. Why should you be the one to break it first if the other person is holding eye contact as well?

Prolonged eye contact is never creepy because if uncomfortable people will automatically break eye contact. Then turn your head as well and don't stare at the person.

If the other person is holding your eye contact for a long amount of time you should talk to them. It's an indicator of interest

skullirang · 2020-10-12T22:37:28+00:00

This is silly. You only need eye contact if you are talking or intend to talk to someone. Looking at everyone and not approaching is the stupidest thing I've heard of.

primallyours · 2020-10-12T12:25:52+00:00

[Stares in Larry David]

TheRikari · 2020-10-12T16:27:48+00:00

Gouge him

Otaku_With_No_Crust · 2020-10-12T17:05:42+00:00

Wait for marriage

Rareturd · 2020-10-12T17:55:41+00:00

I just nod and they nod back. The end.

ProFriendZoner · 2020-10-12T18:59:28+00:00

I can hold eye contact if I'm conversing with a person. If i'm not talking to or with them I have a hard time holding it.

Garathon · 2020-10-12T19:44:52+00:00

Depends on whether you want to fuck him I guess.

pafreethinker · 2020-10-12T20:09:24+00:00

I nod my head and say how its going or what up then look forward and keep going

2020-10-12T21:08:47+00:00

Just don't break it and if he asks: "why are you looking at me?" answer: "I have the same question for you."

Justachillday · 2020-10-12T13:39:12+00:00

I think that it's a bit ridiculous to state something like this. It's natural to look away at times. Otherwise, you're taking yourself out of the moment to commit to an arbitrary statement.

Nashboy45 · 2020-10-12T13:14:38+00:00

When I get stuck in eye contact with a dude, it usually ends in them doing the gentlemen’s nod of acknowledgement. Otherwise, just don’t look at the dude. I feel the eye contact thing has more to do with women. I find it I hold eye contact with a woman until they look away, or laugh or something, it raises their interest.

addy16a2 · 2020-10-12T13:38:30+00:00

Why are you entering into a staring competition with a guy in the first place?

hereandnow124 · 2020-10-12T13:38:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JohnsterBB · 2020-10-12T13:58:53+00:00

I would smile, look down as if to say “Aw shucks”. Reengage the eye contact with the smile on my face and walk over and say hi my name is ......,

That’s just the way I would do it. Feels kind of friendly. And when it happens to you it’s adorable! Just my opinion

hob814 · 2020-10-12T16:38:30+00:00

Honestly he wont think your gay if he did trust me that would be the good scenario he would most likely take you as aggressive and get defensive (it might get to start a fight).

Apply to women keep it for sometime if you want for men but break it

thatman_101 · 2020-10-12T18:03:37+00:00

lol this is so hilarious. i won’t lie it’s so awkward staring into guys eyes. like chill bro i ain’t with that.

jawnzoo · 2020-10-12T18:05:15+00:00

Do what ever you want lmao. The eye contact thing is also learning how to be comfortable and keeping your "frame" when interacting with people.

Ihave2manyquestionss · 2020-10-12T18:14:15+00:00

Yeah definitely don't stare down another male it will come across as either hostile or gay. Been listening to "How to talk to anyone" on Audible and she covers eye contact and the different effects intense eye contact has on the different genders. Basically don't hold eye contact too long with a guy as it isn't perceived in the same way as with woman but don't suddenly look off into a different direction as that will make you seem intimidated by him. So in order to not look like a bitch just smoothly direct your gaze somewhere else with intent, don't just look at something for the sake of escaping the stare down as your body language will most likely betray you.

Ihave2manyquestionss · 2020-10-12T18:19:51+00:00

Yeah also agree with the other guys, sometimes breaking eye contact is the right move, assuming your redirecting your gaze slowly and with intent. Makes it seem more like you're comfortable enough to look where you please. Personally I think that can be kinda seductive in a way. You look at her with intent and for long enough to let her know you notice her and might be attracted to her but you don't stare. Making it seem like your interested but not desperate. (if you know what I mean. Feel like I'm not doing a good job at explaining what I mean) This might even get her to approach you in some cases.

PopeIzalith · 2020-10-12T18:39:13+00:00

"Does making eye contact with guys make me gay?!"

ffs dude are you serious?

Thesoothsayer1 · 2020-10-12T18:57:55+00:00

This is whack get rid of this higher lower lever of thinking just stupid

YEET_SKEET_REPEAT · 2020-10-12T19:39:02+00:00

You stare even harder

MvrioCsr · 2020-10-12T20:36:16+00:00

Lol when i was 16 i started making eye contact with every people that i crossed on the streets (men or women, young or old) and i stared at them until they break it, it gave me incredible confidence but now days i can’t do it anymore, funny how I thought i was the only one who did that but it is on a book.

easystreetusa · 2020-10-12T21:58:07+00:00

Ask him who he with and then you cap his ass lol

Knights_Ferry · 2020-10-12T22:00:09+00:00

I went to this men's camp (ages 25-50) and one of the exercises was in order to determine the group leader you had to stare at each other. Whoever turned down eye contact first was out.

Quickly half the guys dropped out. Then there was three then 2.

Watching guys do this was ones if the most intense things I've seen. Both guys would stand as tall as they could and just stare at each other, interestingly enough, eventually one of the guys would submit and the leader was chosen.

The leaders who won ended up being great (albeit asshole) leaders.

lornezubko · 2020-10-12T22:00:51+00:00

it depends really. What i do to the guy who’s obviously staring me down bc of some bullshit, fragile, insecure, masculinity complex i just give em a little wink and confident eyes after a few seconds. if i get the occasional “what are you? a faggot?” i say “you wish babe but i couldn’t break your lady friends lil heart like that”. An alternative is “if i were, you think i’d go for a guy like you? *insert insult targeting smthn that boy looks obviously clueless about”. (messy hair, terrible shirt, cowboy boots, giant belt buckle, trashy tattoo, caterpillar eyebrows, bad facial hair). It’s important to remember if you don’t want to get punched that the timing, tone, facial expressions, and posture all play a role. Don’t zing it out super aggressively. Say it so casually that it sounds like you’re saying just stating common knowledge that everyone knows

IMadeY0uR3adTh1s · 2020-10-12T23:26:31+00:00

lmao

Thund77 · 2020-10-13T00:09:02+00:00

Why is this questions have so many ups? Its really stupid question with obvious answer

Thund77 · 2020-10-13T00:11:57+00:00

When two guys meet eye to eye and doesnt want to break up the contact it means dominion. Aggression. Thats what boxers do before they start to fight. In their own way they think: I will own you.

That is whole other story than women.

-BroncosForever- · 2020-10-13T00:39:58+00:00

If a guy is checking you out just roll your eyes. They get the point.

For whatever reason a lot of gay dude think I’m gay, I don’t really understand it, but I’m used to dudes hitting on me and you just basically have to roll your eyes to subtly display your annoyance and move on with out looking at them again.

CrastersBastards · 2020-10-13T01:12:37+00:00

Had this scenario happen earlier. It’s also how you make and break eye contact.

Canyouplzstop · 2020-10-13T02:21:01+00:00

Just realized how fucked my contribution appears via mobile. Sorry, but I’m also not fixing it

HighRes_Or_Death · 2020-10-13T02:22:26+00:00

Holding eye contact with anyone will make them wonder why. With dudes it could be an assertion of dominance, or a friendly nonverbal "oh hi there." With girls you know, they'll prob giggle and ask why you're staring them in the eyes, feel free to answer as you like. With girls you don't know, it gets a bit tricky. If they break relatively quickly, do not go looking at them for the next 3 hours. You're a creep if you do. If they sort of challenge you to a staring contest, probably good to approach or give a friendly smile and an amused look. Have fun, they'll have fun, everyone chills out a little.

tldr: have fun, don't take everything so seriously, if it feels creepy, it's probably creepy.

adbar89 · 2020-10-13T02:22:38+00:00

With men, prolonged eye contact may be seen as an act of dominance or provocation. Hence be cautious with that. It's always better that once eye contact is made, with whichever gender, a warm smile ensues to show, I'm friendly or harmless. If they smile back, you can say hi and make a new friend or a potential date.

jfkhelp · 2020-10-13T02:34:22+00:00

That’s how I got into a fight ...

Davidle3 · 2020-10-13T04:10:56+00:00

If you want them to run away that’s the advice to follow. Other guy contact as a straight man I am confident to not think about eye contact with regards to talking to another guy. It’s just yeah I see you and that’s it.

ricardoa369 · 2020-10-13T12:56:08+00:00

He probably will think that you want to fight. So... You fight to death, that is the rule, I have spoken.

SandtheB · 2020-10-14T05:02:06+00:00

I actually believe this... but I will explain.

First, Have fun, and don't overanalyze!!! That means all these rules we teach in books and in the community, are JUST guidelines and not 100% perfect hard rules to dogmatically follow.

Yes, when in social situations if you want a little more power (controlling the frame) you can't break eye contact first.. I will give a few examples.

1) You are walking the mall and you see a cute girl walking towards you, so you make eye contact and don't break it, so she looks down, touches her nose and shifts her shoulders You are setting a frame that you are MORE dominant, so she's following the frame and is being MORE submissive (female gender role). So you will have to approach..

2) You are walking that same mall and see a man walking alone, you make eye contact, and you don't break it. The same thing happens he looks away, and changes he shoulders. You are starting to control the interaction (setting a frame).

The difference is what you are thinking when you make eye contact.. With the girl you are thinking she is cute/adorable, with the guy you are thinking "you are alright" (that is how you avoid him thinking you are gay). Also, if you want to act like this you will have to say something (open) within 3 secs or 3 steps or else they will be less receptive. Unless you want to be opened, (more advanced) and have a girl approach you.

tl;dr: Don't take any advice we give you TOO seriously. Never break eye contact if YOU want to be the one to open, but break eye contact if you want to be approached. Think a girl is "cute" when you make eye contact with her, but think a guy is "Cool/Alright" when making eye contact with him.

2020-10-18T19:18:50+00:00

When this happens, I always do the “sup” head nod. Works everytime

robfrumtha805 · 2020-10-19T05:19:00+00:00

i avoid all that shit by no eye contact with everyone.....this has worked out very well.....

Joe1988dh · 2020-10-12T11:15:40+00:00

Don't just look away. Convert the "tension". If the eye contact takes too long, it may come off as aggressive. If you just look away, you will be the "under dog". Don't break the eye contact, start smiling and say good afternoon! He will most likely greet you the same way. Then you can just walk away.

recyclablebanthas · 2020-10-13T02:25:15+00:00

Can you cite what page that's on?

Kind of difficult to talk about a book you're reading when you don't cite.

Title	Eye contact when the other person doesn't break it first
Author	Reddituser2460155
Upvotes	571
Comments	177
Date	October 12, 2020 9:54 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j9o2r3/eye_contact_when_the_other_person_doesnt_break_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/eye-contact-when-the-other-person-doesnt-break-it.1428476 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428476

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