Hard to settle down once you know about game?

zebekias · 2024-08-13T12:06:57+00:00

Eventually you will meet your 10, and after so many years of mentally saying “no”, you will quickly say “yes”. It’ll hit you like a ton of bricks. For me the journey lasted 10 years.

MouseAware809 · 2024-08-13T11:34:15+00:00

You will know it's time to settle when you meet someone who makes you think "Damn she is different"

The problem is you have gone from scarcity to abundance.

I would take a long think about what you want from your ideal partner and start imagining your life with them. Make that your focus, then make it your mission to create that life.

Or live in the seducers paradox, where it stops being about women but about your game and taking it to the next level. But there is no long term happiness to this.

But you have solved the issue of "how do I attract a woman". Decide what you want to do with your life now and create that vision. This is just the beginning.

When you learn maths at school, you don't do it so you can keep doing maths. You do it because it is required for greater things.

Seduction is not the be all, end all

Much-Anywhere-940 · 2024-08-13T08:48:39+00:00

Because you don't know how to have a healthy relationship and be yourself... game is not being yourself. So you feel like an imposter.

I think you need to find actual value in your life that isn't chasing puss. Probably actualise who you are.

In reality these women will always end up disappointed in you anyway because you were not authentic from the start.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-08-13T09:59:08+00:00

Knowing about game is good for relationships and actually helped me settle down, because now I know exactly why women leave men that commit to them; I found a girl that separated herself from her competitors and made me desire to leave the manwhore lifestyle behind.

I will not cheat or be unethical, but I continue behaving in a manner that sustains the competition anxiety, because now I know the relationship will fail if she, at any point: feels like my smv falls beneath hers.

It's about behaving like I didn't close off my options despite me being loyal, of course in a non hurtful way. Instead of avoiding looking at the bouncing tits at an adult softball games, I'm going to point them out to my girl and get her review. If we have a hot waitress I ain't going purely professional...I'm going to flirt with her and my chick simultaneously. Believe it or not most women are not only ok with this behavior...they expect it...they want to see the guy remain congruent as the man of options that they originally perceived before the commitment.

Amaran345 · 2024-08-13T17:35:21+00:00

"Everytime it starts to get serious with a girl i get anxious and feel i want to get out" - fearful avoidant attachment, this cycle will repeat forever unless you heal it with therapy or self-therapy.

It starts to get serious - this is the "trigger" that starts the deactivation process.

I get anxious - the "fearful" part, a sense of discomfort and anxiety, not feeling at ease and secure with the girl.

I want to get out - the "avoidant" part, the mind decides that you have run away to ease the anxiety.

Everytime - the cycle that will repeat forever and ever unless you actively work to break it.

SuperPoop · 2024-08-13T12:52:50+00:00

nah, man. happily married. we're looking for a unicorn. the game is a lifestyle. get good and hold onto it. don't let old habits come back. I use a lot of what i learned to keep myself high value in my career and make sure my wife is not married to a chump.

shallow_n00b · 2024-08-13T18:36:45+00:00

Read The Truth by Neil Strauss--from the same guy who wrote The Game. You can find a pdf of it online by googling the title.

Organic_Pack1211 · 2024-08-13T19:40:36+00:00

All men go through the following stages; sucks with women, gets good with women and enjoys the fun of hooking up, gets tired of hookup/wants to settle down but can’t seem to find “the one”, Aha moment understanding that good relationships are possible but requires different game vs just picking up.

You’ll find someone for you. That anxiousness is tied to fear of loss/ fear of leaving behind the hookup life. If you go into it knowing what you want and the mindset of “hey I want this but if it doesn’t want out I’ll find another” you’ll start to lose the anxiety

Cartoonist_False · 2024-08-13T16:20:55+00:00

You may be experiencing the "maximizing mindset" in your dating life, always seeking the next thrill and worried that settling down means missing out. This mindset can lead to anxiety and a fear of commitment.

Also, consider the flip side of FOMO: what are you missing out on by not being in a relationship? Time passes, and the opportunity cost of constantly searching for someone "better" can be significant. You may miss out on shared experiences, emotional support, and personal growth from building a life with someone. Reflect on what truly matters to you and weigh the costs of your maximizing mindset.

Consider "satisficing," focusing on finding someone good enough to build a meaningful connection with. Let go of the need for perfection, and you might find that you can settle down and build a fulfilling relationship. Otherwise, if the chase is worth it then keep going :)

Dandys3107 · 2024-08-13T10:06:10+00:00

I’ve heard couple of similar stories, and as I remember guys used therapy to change themselves. Just like you, they seemed to got addicted to thrill of the new, which is pretty similar to any drug addiction.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2024-08-13T09:25:45+00:00

Yeah I'm in the same boat. I like the freshness of a new person. And After I figure them out I move on to the next one.

NEXT.

melanholicoptimist · 2024-08-13T12:28:02+00:00

Because it feels like the new episodes of never ending show.

I've been with one girl for year and it was struggle. When we broke up what felt like a final season all of a sudden turned into new fresh season.

It's back and it can go even better.

Eventually I'll settle with a girl who I don't love for the sake of family but the thrill won't ever end.

Dry_Manufacturer3846 · 2024-08-13T19:15:42+00:00

Don’t dwell on it for too long. Find a girl you love and want to have children with. No point being in your 50s/60s and still chasing girls (unless you’re divorced/separated)

Epiphanic_Eros · 2024-08-13T21:56:58+00:00

You’ll find someone really amazing. Then it’s time to be a man and make a commitment.

These days, nonmonogamy is an option, as well, but you should be up front about wanting that, from the beginning

RavenDancer · 2024-08-13T22:58:01+00:00

Realistically, if you found the right girl you would feel no need to chase anyone else. Find someone who actually makes you feel this way.

pitterpatter-96 · 2024-08-14T04:03:46+00:00

Game was all about meeting someone you vibe with. You lost sight of the goal

Foreign_Finger_2395 · 2024-08-13T08:13:10+00:00

Open relationship ? Also I’m the worst to give this advice but maybe once you find the one you don’t need to go elsewhere ?

utopiaxtcy · 2024-08-13T14:10:29+00:00

You are ruined in the sense you have created neural pathways that will make you want to run whenever you are shown real love

“Game” is not the end goal of this life - this is not a merry go round you want to be on forever

In the past two years I’ve been with 40 girls.

6 months ago I found someone different. Going on 3 months dating now.

Being in a committed relationship is an entirely different lifestyle - but i think you’re going to find yourself there at some point.

I was so fucking sick of the post nut clarity, the what’s your favorite food, the typical run of the mill bullshit.

When you find the right person do yourself a favor and let game go to the back of your mind.

HideyourkidsForreal · 2024-08-13T14:49:08+00:00

Some of the fucking people in here are delusional and not fit for relationships.

For you personally I think it might just be a matter of not finding the one. What exactly do you want in a relationship? It can also be hard to want s relationship because you have to be voulnerable

lonehawktheseer · 2024-08-13T14:47:26+00:00

Yep.

mafiosomonkey · 2024-08-13T19:03:00+00:00

Find a girl who also likes girls. Thank me later

maxreddit0609 · 2024-08-13T20:33:24+00:00

How did you get better and initially learn about game?

czfreak · 2024-08-14T00:53:27+00:00

No you just need to enjoy yourself for now. Get alot of bodies under your belt and settle down later if you want

Aktive_IV · 2024-08-14T01:43:30+00:00

Yo this is crazy bc it’s like all the experiences you have point to all the bad shit you seen the women do.. it’s really difficult once you know.. it’s hard to unsee the seen.

JA_LaRevoluccion · 2024-08-14T03:34:02+00:00

Don't settle down!!!! Don't give in! If you have game it will translate forever. You will have dry spells, we all do but when it rains it will pour. Have fun and don't settle. Instead find a woman that will accept your need for other women. Only then will you truly be happy.

Own_Coyote_7446 · 2024-08-14T07:54:26+00:00

Heal your childhood traumas help’s drastically

Jironasaurus · 2024-08-14T09:03:47+00:00

I've seen some very hardcore players, people who could pull 4somes and 5somes... who socially dominated every club they went to... and they got married eventually. At that time, it seemed very unlikely they would get into a relationship, even they thought so too.

But time is a wonderful thing. It changes your perspective as you age, so... never say never.

leatherkarma23 · 2024-08-14T11:53:18+00:00

One date
"Oh shit i'm settling down!!"

leatherkarma23 · 2024-08-14T11:56:26+00:00

Are you sure you could establish a relationship with a girl, even if you wanted to????

taco_smasher69 · 2024-08-20T22:08:02+00:00

It's made me realize that there are very very few women worth settling down for. I will no longer put up with bullshit from women just for access to mediocre pussy. I wish I could go back in time and slap the shit out of 18 year old me and explain to him that very very very few women are worth giving up your freedom for.

TodayOrTmrw · 2024-08-13T13:00:37+00:00

Honestly it’s probably for the best. I’m the same way.

GymBroOnTRT · 2024-08-13T10:13:05+00:00

Totally normal

Title	Hard to settle down once you know about game?
Author	Due_Transition_8363
Upvotes	172
Comments	115
Date	August 13, 2024 7:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1er25le/hard_to_settle_down_once_you_know_about_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hard-to-settle-down-once-you-know-about-game.1527174 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527174

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