How can I smoothly escalate from taking home/making out to sex?

2014-02-12T15:57:12+00:00

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Willem20 · 2014-02-12T15:59:13+00:00

Why try to be smooth?

I have always, always, always tried to be smooth. With no to few successes. Last thursday, when a good female friend of mine said that my boldness is attractive. I say what I want to say, I say it when I want it and look past the fact she might reject me.

Boldness is good. Boldness is being honest with yourself, her and the rest of the world. Being bold is also letting her know that she has a wonderful appearance, and that you were stunned when you first saw her. But only if it is truly honest.

You are interested in her. Maybe she's into you too. A smooth technique isn't going to make you the 'James Bond'-like guy. Being smooth is only being afraid of rejection, and she know it. I know what this feels like. I can crown myself as the "King who thought he was smooth, when in fact he was not'

Let's make this a journey for the both of us: from now on we are going to be bold. Not only in what we say, but also in kino, approaching and more.

StinkySauce · 2014-02-12T16:07:35+00:00

If a woman has already agreed to come home with you, you're already 9/10 there. You're under the impression that women don't want to have sex. They do. If they come home with you after a date, it's on.

harlyboy · 2014-02-12T16:15:30+00:00

But seriously. Check out the twelve steps of sexual escalation. Here's a brief rundown:

Kiss lips Then neck Hand on waist back and pull her closer Hand under shirt on lower back Move up towards bra Slip finger underneath Slip finger out and move towards stomach Move hand up towards breast Over the bra caress Move towards bare chest If a button down shirt, unbutton a couple top buttons Kiss exposed skin Slip hand under bra, but not to nipples yet. Play Pull bra down and kiss exposed skin slowly making your way to nipples Unbutton/remove shirt Kiss belly Remove bra and kiss breasts and nipples Move hand towards waistband Slip finger into waistband and caress top of ass and pubic area Unbutton Slip finger into pants, not panties yet Play Slip fingers into panties Play Kiss waist area Remove pants kissing legs on the way down Kiss your way back up Kiss vag over panties Move panties over and kiss/lick Remove panties Eat her out Kiss your way back up Remove your clothes Blow job? Apply condom Sex

All of this is assuming she's comfortable with each step. If she isn't, revert to previous step.

Memorize so you don't have to pull your phone out. Good luck and Godspeed.

HyperSpaceKush · 2014-02-12T16:04:48+00:00

I like to use "we should get a condom". Its easy, direct, and keeps her from getting pregnant.

MeanwhileInAmerica · 2014-02-13T01:58:12+00:00

Direct her to your room, do not sit down. Do other shit like you are always doing in your room. Give her a moment to get adjusted to your domain.

She'll probably sit on the bed, eventually sit next to her and talk alittle. Continue make-out session from eariler, nudge her to lay down.

LemmeHoldaDollar · 2014-02-12T17:45:07+00:00

I just started dating a girl and we've really hit it off. The first date we made out for a bit, the second date was the same way, the third date she ended up at my house. Didn't have sex (she wasn't ready) but had a lot of fun with everything else.

Not once, but twice, she has described me as soft and commanding. Followed by a statement of how much that turns her on. I still haven't figured out what she means but I think it is a good thing.

It should be common knowledge but there is a fine line between "soft and commanding" in the bedroom and overstepping her comfort level. The bedroom stuff was hot but I respected the boundaries she was comfortable with 100%. She later told me how much trust that built for her, and that she couldn't wait to go all the way.

TL;DR Don't make it your goal to have sex all the time. Be confident and respect her comfort level. Gain some trust, some comfort, and she'll be begging for it eventually. If you apply too much pressure, you'll lose that trust and start from square one.

puddipuddipuddip · 2014-02-12T19:09:41+00:00

Honestly I can't see how it's hard to go from making out to sex. Making out always turns into more naturally for me. I just keep escalating by becoming more and more touchy and kissing more of her until we're both so turned on that the clothes come off because they are in the way.

wryyy · 2014-02-12T18:21:37+00:00

No need to be smooth. Win or lose, whats the worst thing that could happen? Women appreciate you taking the initiative and being the maaaaan they want you to be.

Also, it will come naturally if you get her home or making out your halfway there. Let if flow and see what happens..

expletive-deleted · 2014-02-12T19:30:58+00:00

Careen for the clitoris! (Monty Python reference)

Don't ask her if she wants to have sex. Just undress her. Pick her up and take her to bed. She will stop you if she doesn't want to, and she will respect you if you respect her.

There are only two instances where I went home with or brought a girl home, starting making out, and did not f-close.

Think about how you would let your girlfriend know you want to have sex. You don't have to ask, right? You would just be playful though aggressive until a point where she explains, "I have to go to work/school/whatever".

Same fucking principle. Respect the fact that she doesn't want to if that's the case, but she's going to get the hint.

As Willem20 pointed out, women do love a bold man.

Just don't push the issue or make it awkward for her to refuse to escalate. She isn't going to have sex with you just because you expected it, and if you get all butt hurt about it, she's going to tell everyone she knows that you're a rapey creep.

If you end up doing something awkward in the process, be sure to chuckle at yourself, give her a playful tickle on her ribs (just enough to make her jump, squirm, and giggle for a second). And then go right back into it.

Just do it as if you've done it a thousand times and don't hesitate unless she gives you signals to stop.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2014-02-12T21:46:56+00:00

Hands. Lots of hands. Did I mention hands?

The key is to make her want it. Tease a little in the direction of the erotic zones. Tug at he clothes. Breathe heavily and kiss her neck and ear. Brush across her nipples and grab her ass. Bit by bit, move toward the private zones and further under her clothes. Slowly take articles of clothing off, reminding her how great sex feels. But don't actually grab or touch the naughty bits directly. Put a little delay on the moment when you'd normally go for it. She'll be expecting you to and by that time she'll wonder why you aren't going for it. You're just being a gentleman of course, which will throw off her plan of last-minute-resistance. She'll realize that she really wants you go to for it, so maybe you just stop the make out completely for a couple minutes. She'll sigh a little and wonder what's going on. Maybe you're waiting for her to make the move...maybe you're not. She's horny as shit.

Then go for it.

Dreamlancer · 2014-02-13T00:26:15+00:00

Bottom line? Be bold.

If you want tips or tricks to try and do it? A pretty decent one when I was living on my own, was have other areas in the room where you can sit.

Computer desk chair, other chairs, whatever. But then put a box or something of stuff on the chair so that the only available area to be is on the bed, where at which point is pretty smooth sailing from there.

If she followed you back to your place, there is interest there. And you should have been escalating the entire night already so far to get to this point. The key to this would be to not stop escalating.

You know why she is there. She knows why she is there. You just need to continue escalating to sex. And hell that doesn't even necessarily mean the bedroom.

Just as easily you can invite her to the kitchen, and you will pour her a glass of wine. Mid way through the wine pouring you can just pick her up and set her on the counter and continue making out(likely from before).

And that doesn't need to even lead to sex. But the tension is still there. You can return to sipping on your wine as you rub her thigh. The key is to stay within that zone/box. Once you drop out of the box is when things can really just go south and the mood can die.

Now this scenario applies anywhere. Kitchen, couch, bedroom, hell even the laundry room. And once things are hot, heavy, and established. She will be willing to head to a more comfortable location if the one you are in isn't one. (EX: a folding table in a laundry room)

EX: Any distraction from going to the bathroom, knock at the door, taking out trash, having to tidy up your room, etc etc etc. All of these can break the rhythm where she can just say "Oh I'm actually just going to go."

Now this is just mainly me going from my own experience. But being bold and confident in your actions is key. You have just spent a grand portion of the night with this girl already. You have put in the groundwork already. There is no reason for you to suddenly step on the breaks when you are back at your place, your comfort zone.

You being secure with yourself in your own comfort zone will make her secure within your comfort zone.

SPOCK_IS_THAT_YOU · 2014-02-13T02:24:46+00:00

My friend used the, "Hey, I have a puppy and its in my room. Want to see him?" There was no puppy but there was sex.

otivito · 2014-02-13T02:49:21+00:00

Trying to be smooth just ends up being funny. Being funny ends up being smooth. I always used humor.

BasedSage · 2014-02-14T00:21:58+00:00

If I'm making out with you in private, we are going to fuck.

Remember, there are so many places to bring a woman pleasure in the head/neck area. You can literally have her wet and squirming, wishing you would have sex with her, before you lay a hand on her breasts/vajay. Get good at soft lip biting/pulling, kissing the collarbone and neck, behind the ears, tongue in/behind ear. Stroke her hair and all of that shit.

This is gonna sound weird.. but I pretend that I am the man from one of those softcore romance novels.. there to completely sweep her off of her feet into a fantasy world of sex. The shit works.

doctorlw · 2014-02-12T16:22:18+00:00

Just fumble with her clothes. She'll help you if she wants to have sex... and stop you if she doesn't.

Generally, most of them want to have sex. Every now and then you will get a girl (if you met her that night) that will stop you that night... but if you don't act like it bothers you or is a big deal and wait until the morning, it's on.

2014-02-12T15:34:24+00:00

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TheHeadHunterr · 2014-02-12T19:38:08+00:00

This has been working for me lately: While making out, kissing her neck & all that, put her hand on your hard dick (outside your pants).

Be sure to groan and moan when she works it. Usually, after a little bit, she'll just take it out. If she doesn't, do it for her.

Kirillb85 · 2014-02-12T21:05:53+00:00

Be aggressive, pushing and pulling.

Making out, go for boob grab. If she brushes it off, stop making out(not abruptly). Pay attention to something else. Go back to making out and escalate to boob grab. This time she'll allow it.

You have to really seduce her and make her hot. She'll drop her D so you can slip her the D.

polarpack · 2014-02-12T21:31:33+00:00

If she is coming over, means she wants something. Play it cool, and slowly escalate. Heavy kino and just progress from there. Definitely get to the point where you start kissing, make her feel comfortable and sexy.

OMGnoogies · 2014-02-12T21:45:44+00:00

"Let's go to my room"

Radicalmattitude1 · 2014-02-12T22:49:35+00:00

You need to make her feel comfortable being at your place. I always take basic precautions with this:

Give her the tour of your place when you walk in. Be sure to spend time showing her stuff in your room--When you bring her back to your room later, she will feel that much more comfortable in returning.
Offer her something to drink/eat. Help yourself to something to drink/eat. I guess this just makes you look hospitable and relaxed, idk it seems to help.
Suggest an activity/ turn on some music. I usually suggest watching a movie or a tv show. The main point is that it's your place and you decide what happens next. So don't stand around your kitchen awkwardly, make it happen, movie time!

Now the scenario becomes a lot less daunting for her. Instead of being in a strange place with a guy who may or may not have a bondage apparatus or something hidden in his room; she knows it's all good and you two can cuddle up on the couch with a blanket, hot chocolate and dim lights in a familiar atmosphere.

Then I kino her while talking about whatever (or actually watching the movie, but not usually lol) until we makeout. Once you're making out, either pull her closer ontop of you or lean over ontop of her. Makeout in horizontal position for a bit and get into groping. unless you have an amazingly Luxurious couch, This will create a situation warranting a necessary move to the bedroom :)

Then say something like "This couch is so cramped, let's go cuddle on my bed".

Notice how we still haven't mentioned sex? It's weird , but a lot of girls like to maintain plausible deniability until the bitter end. " We're not having sex, we're just cuddling "

From here its straight forward, rub her crotch and grab her boobs once you get in the bedroom if you haven't started already . Start taking clothes off and keep going until she says stop. If she tells you to stop or somthing by this point, it's probably not going to happen. At least not tonight;). Don't pout , just take a seat on your bed and talk about something else. Invite her over next time and go for it again.

Remember that a huge turn on for her is to feel wanted. Once you're making out, show genuine desire for her body, tell her how sexy she looks with her shirt off, How soft her skin or hair feels. Stuff like that, you get the picture. :)

kriskrush · 2014-02-13T00:11:07+00:00

if youre a dj, dig out the ol marvin gaye. put it on lets get it on, and shut the lights right when the beat starts after the waaahh waaahh waaaaah.

remarkedvial · 2014-02-13T00:11:42+00:00

If she's going home with you, you should already be making out and escalating while leaving the bar, in the cab home, in the doorway, push her up against the wall, show her that you couldn't wait to get your hands on her, you don't need to be smooth, just don't let it get awkward.

If you're doing this right, she'll be as ready as you are by the time you get in the door, you can playfully push/pull her towards your bedroom, undressing her (and you) along the way.

Reddit_SLC · 2014-02-13T03:28:44+00:00

This really should be in the FAQ because it gets asked here at least daily.

You need a linear progression. A typical progression goes something like this talking>flirting>heavier flirting/kino>touching/kino>some sort of isolation or escalation>making out>heavier making out>touching>more sexual touching>clothes come off>fingering>sex

bl1y · 2014-02-13T06:12:27+00:00

Note from your grumpy neighborhood moderator: This is actually a serious question, and there is some good advice in the comments. But there's also a lot of people just going for lulz.

Seddit is about getting better with women. It's not about getting better at Seddit. Not that the place needs to be humorless, but the jokes shouldn't bury good content. So, I'm nuking the derailing comments.

Hipmonchan · 2014-02-13T06:57:24+00:00

I've done it before. I'm still an AFC, but from my experience if the girl is into you and reacts to your moves, then it can definitely happen. I recommend good music and foreplay :D.

lilhurt38 · 2014-02-13T07:29:37+00:00

Make out with her, escalate to feeling her up, hand goes below pants, hand goes inside panties, play with clit, finger her, etc. I shouldn't really have to direct you from there. In my experience, once you get to the point where you're fingering her, it's all downhill from there. That just tends to lead to sex. Be direct with your actions and take control. If she stops you from escalating, back off for a bit. Otherwise, keep escalating. If I'm making out with a girl for a bit, I'll straight up grab her hand and put it on my crotch. Girls generally want you to lead the interaction.

AskmeIfIamFapping · 2014-02-12T17:05:32+00:00

There are a lot of ways to do this. Depends on what your impression is on her.

If you come off as bold and decisive, I recommend going caveman on her. I'll talk dirty on the way to my place and then push her to the wall, block her out and make out with her. Then move her from one location to another. Then the couch. I'll be forceful and dominating.I'll talk dirty to her. Then, i bend down my knees pick her up and commence sexy times in my room. IF you have roommates make sure they are ok with this. If not send a warning text and buy him a beer the next day.
If you come off as slightly reserved/shy. Sit next to her on the couch. Do the whole eye lip eye thing. Keep talking and then start making out. Slow and steady because she is probably attracted to your reserved nature.The stand up hold her hand and walk her to your room.Commence sexy times.
If she is coming over to your place on a pretext of a movie or some other activity then follow the escalation ladder.
Dont overthink it.She is coming back to your place because she wants to fuck you 9/10 times. Be a man, take her to your room, use protection and commence sexy times.

cttouch · 2014-02-12T17:34:33+00:00

First off don't make a plan for this, if its going to happen it happens naturally. You do not plot and plan this kind of thing it comes down to mutual attraction and sexual connection.

SciCtrGuy · 2014-02-12T16:49:13+00:00

Get up reach out your hand for hers. Grab it and head straight for the bedroom.

theubernoob · 2014-02-12T19:43:04+00:00

Grab the bottom of her shirt and start pulling up. If her arms go up, it's on. Keep taking off her clothes and match her level of nakedness if she doesn't take off yours.

piggy2bacon · 2014-03-13T16:47:55+00:00

KINO 101

scumbag4life · 2014-02-12T15:55:17+00:00

Just Show her the sausage

2014-02-12T17:59:55+00:00

If you are already in your house making out its go time. You just start rubbing in all the right places. Undo her clothes etc. You don't ask you just do. If she fights you back off and try again in a little while. I usually give it three tries. First time some feel obligated to resist you. The second is for really unsure girls by the third I figure they must be on their period or have some other hang up.

slackwaresupport · 2014-02-12T22:01:32+00:00

This really cant be taught.. the best thing. During the night. Make advances. If shes ok with em. And u feel comfortable. Just ask her. Like... sooo. U gonna let me tap that tonight?? Try it. I promise it works. And u dont waste urs and her time. If u carry her back home and shes not down. U could ruin it in the future also..

blue_haze_mPUA · 2014-02-13T00:14:42+00:00

Play the tickle game. That's all you need. It's one step and it always works. Or at least will get her shirt off.

Miercolesian · 2014-02-13T02:58:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How can I smoothly escalate from taking home/making out to sex?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	111
Comments	90
Date	February 12, 2014 3:30 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1xpouv/how_can_i_smoothly_escalate_from_taking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-smoothly-escalate-from-taking-homemaking.1365907 https://theredarchive.com/post/1365907

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