How do I stop taking virtual rejection (getting left on read, getting left on delivered, getting ghosted...) so personally?

TheGreatConst · 2020-05-22T18:02:09+00:00

" I swear it makes me feel like shit, it basically says "you're not even worth getting rejected properly, I'm leaving you alone with your thoughts so you can wonder where you went wrong". "

And that is your problem. What do you mean "where you went wrong"? It isn't a game to please a girl, for god's sake. You can't do "anything wrong". Stop putting yourself in a chaser mentality. Be a chooser. You choose the girls who are worth your time. Objectively both men and women have the right to choose. Just, most guys ignore this right. They only choose girls based on their appearance. And when you choose someone who doesn't choose you - it hurts. The fact is - you shouldn't be "fuck yeah" about a girl until she proved that she worth your time. Her ignoring you doesn't mean that you did something wrong. She did. She acted in a way you don't like, it just means she doesn't worth your time, efforts or emotions. It is as simple as that.

lavenderxlee · 2020-05-22T23:38:13+00:00

No response is a response. A shitty one with no closure, but one none the less.

I think it’s a good opportunity to reflect on your attachment issues. “Where there’s hysteria there’s history”. Maybe look into “attachment theory” and “insecure/anxious attachment” because this is what that sounds like.

Have you had parents or past partners that were distant or sporadic in their attention for you? Where in your life have you experience similar situations where you’re left waiting for the other person’s response as validation?

How can you practice more security in yourself? How can you serve your needs first so you’re not showing up to these situations desperate and dependent for a response to be the metric for how “good” you are?

What need does their response fill? How can you give that to yourself? What do you actually need but are confusing for desiring approval?

Your reaction to this has nothing to do with this specific person, because you’ve already noticed it’s a pattern that happens regardless of who is ghosting you. If there’s a pattern there’s a habit. If there’s a habit there’s a subconscious belief that keeps you repeating these cycles and reenforcing the confirmation bias.

Separate yourself from people’s actions and look deep into yourself and ask why you think it has something to do with you. Dig deep and ask tough questions.

Some questions I really like to ask myself when I am faced with an opinion of myself that is disheartening and contradictory to the image I hold of myself:

Why do I value this person’s opinion? What is the significance of this person in my life? Do they live a life I personally want to live?

I think these put things into perspective, especially the last one.

At the end of the day, it really starts with recognizing that it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the other person’s baggage. We are merely a projection of our inner turmoil. Right now, you’re projecting your own inner turmoil onto these people who ghost you, expecting them to fill a need you can’t even name or recognize yourself.

People who ghost fear conflict. People who ghost don’t want to explain. People who ghost don’t want your feed back or deal with any resistance to their decision. People who ghost fear discomfort and vulnerability. People who ghost find it more convenient to cut someone out without having to face the full consequences of their actions.

It has nothing to do with you, but it has so much it can teach you about yourself if you’ll let it. I think dating is about finding yourself. People change you whether you like it or not, and I hope we come from a place and mindset of wanting to change for the better.

Cryptocancer · 2020-05-22T21:06:50+00:00

Delete the text chain, the less you see it the worse it feels.

Keep your options open don’t focus on one person, hope this helps.

davidvalentin1 · 2020-05-22T17:51:59+00:00

Get comfortable with spending time alone and knowing and reminding yourself that other people should not dictate your happiness.

Helmet_Icicle · 2020-05-22T19:21:50+00:00

Living a full and active life will help develop an abundance mentality. The master has gotten rejected more times than the student has ever approached. You don't care about some people not wanting you when they are buried in the numbers of people who do.

But it seems like the real issue is just not processing rejection efficiently, whether it be online or any other avenue of interaction. Rejection is merely incompatibility, and the functional purpose of dating is to look for irreparable incompatibility as soon as possible.

So instead of feeling all busted up that your expectations didn't pan out (which is also a salient point of improvement), instead look to be grateful that incompatibility became apparent so soon into the dynamic. If someone doesn't respond to you within a reasonable timeframe, they're not all that into you in the first place and that's a horrible trait to look for in someone.

You can't control people and you have no idea what their life is like. Maybe they're the perfect person for you in all other respects but can't manage to manifest the requisite participation or maybe they're horrible for you and just don't care. The point in getting passed this is realizing those two people are the same, as far as results go.

phantomBlurrr · 2020-05-22T19:17:21+00:00

I think the sadness that results from being left on read is caused by expecting too much from yourself.

I mean, think about it, if you take a step back and look at what you're doing every day you can see how you don't have that much time. In the morning you're getting ready for work, or commuting, or working. At noon you're having lunch or on your way to get lunch or getting back to work. In the afternoon you're getting off of work, maybe you're doing laundry or getting groceries or going jogging or something. My point is, if you look at what you do in a day, you'll see how you're busy and you really don't have all that much time you have even less time if you're a student.

Realize that other people have it the same way you do or worse. One of my friends pretty much works all day. One of my other friends works night shift so while he's free in the morning, I'm at work, and when I'm off work he's in the middle of his shift. As a result, even though those two people are some of my closest friends, they are a great example of simple scheduling error.

So often, it's not that someone doesn't want to talk to you, literally, there just isn't enough time.

My point is, though there are tons of reasons that someone would not talk to you, scheduling is definitely one of them, and it has nothing to do with you.

So that's my point: You shouldn't feel bad about people not replying if it's very likely they're busy. It's not really advise, it's just logic.

Now, knowing that people are busy and still feeling bad, that just means that you think that you're not entertaining enough to attract attention. That my opinion because that's what I used to think. If I spoke to someone and they didn't reply quickly, boom, it means I'm too worthless to merit their attention. You see how stupid I sound saying that? So realize that you are good enough to hold conversations with, it's just some people either are busy or just plain aren't interested in you that way.

It doesn't mean they hate you or don't like you, it just means they're not interested in a romantic way, like, it's tough to explain but I hope that makes sense.

So the best you can do is just talk to other people who may actually be interested or develop interest.

One thing to note is that people will not be interested if, well, you're not interesting. So get out there and develop yourself so that you become interesting. Then you won't even have to try and people will reach out to you on their own!

2020-05-22T18:05:20+00:00

The goal shouldn’t be how do you stop taking rejection personally. That’s not possible. You can get to a point in which it just doesn’t bug you as much as it did before, but ultimately you can’t completely get rid of it and still remain human. It’s ok not to feel great after being rejected and thinking you’ll get to this magical place where rejection doesn’t affect you at all is unrealistic at best and naive at worst. The goal should be to not let rejection STOP you. I tell myself that rejection is gonna suck but in 10 min I’m not gonna care. That allows me to keep putting myself out there and also allow rejection to be part of the process that I just accept.

Play-Mation · 2020-05-22T21:04:46+00:00

Hey man. Just remember, all social media is, is an illusion. Literally none of it matters until you actually meeting someone irl. Once you start thinking that way, you’ll free yourself from the shitty feeling of rejection.

Thebussinessman · 2020-05-22T19:44:19+00:00

Three things that helped me:

1.Talk to more girls. If you talk to more of them, you won't be so hurt when left on read by one, at least that helped me.

If you are on dating app, get her off a dating app after appropriate amount of time of getting to know each other, girls whose phone number I have don't leave you on read as much.
If a girl thinks you aren't worth her time, why even bother thinking about her. You will find someone else who will respect you.

manonpoint_com · 2020-05-23T00:04:39+00:00

A few suggestions:

(1) you've got just get used to it and accept the reality that rejection is by far the most common outcome of engaging women, especially online.

(2) Ghosting is standard rejection protocol -- and honestly, in my opinion, it is the right way to reject. Everyone THINKS they want the truth, but the sad reality is it almost always backfires to get the truth, and girls know better than telling the truth only for you to refute them etc. Get used to it, ghosting is standard practice. The "left on read" type situation is no different than a regular ghosting -- when there are read receipts, it's the best way to ghost (simply don't open).

(3) Put yourself in less situations that will lead to rejection. I am a firm believer that everyone has a limited amount of "emotional capital" and while it's nice to think we can shrug off infinite rejection, we cant. So then don't go seeking it out. If the odds are really low, it's just not worth the hit to your emotional capital with almost no benefit. I wrote about this in detail here: https://manonpoint.com/nothing-to-lose-is-a-myth-in-dating/

Radicalmattitude1 · 2020-05-22T22:18:51+00:00

Don’t check your DMs to see if girls read your shit. Just send your message and forget about it yourself.

Also keep in mind that girls are not rejecting “you” per say. Your social media profile is only a thin slice of your life. She is rejecting the current configuration of your pictures, posts, messages etc. This just means that there’s work to be done to improve your profiles.

Thirdly, girls be cray. You will go insane trying to analyze why a girl did or didn’t message you back. It could be for a million different reasons, so just assume it’s for the best reason imaginable -> she got busy with something rather than -> she doesn’t even think I’m worth rejecting. That’s a fucked up assumption to make man. Don’t let your inner talk go there if you can help it.

Quintshotpocket · 2020-05-22T17:47:46+00:00

Experience! Will toughen you up!

clindh · 2020-05-22T23:51:15+00:00

It’s her loss, not yours

iCantThinkOfCoolName · 2020-05-23T02:01:04+00:00

People often get disappointed when their expectations don't get met. Do not have expectations for someone that you hardly know. You don't know their style of communication just as much as they don't know everything about you. Have fun and if they don't reply, go talk to other girls. And if they don't reply, talk to other girls. Repeat. Plenty of girls are fun to talk to.

bluetiger1236 · 2020-05-22T21:51:47+00:00

I just started to grow numb to it, the more I was in the situation you mentioned.

Raknith · 2020-05-23T03:19:25+00:00

I cannot stand getting ghosted. I was hanging out with this girl for a while, would stay at her house like 2 nights in a row because she would ask me, took me on dates and paid for it, and acted like she liked me sooooo much, and then she just totally stopped replying to me. I've never felt more loved/liked than with her so it was really confusing

rayjensen · 2020-05-23T04:03:17+00:00

Start doing it to other girls and you will realize it’s easy and doesn’t mean anything

cloeed · 2020-05-22T19:23:25+00:00

The thing is that girls on tinder are looking for something, either a hook up or something more serious. Girls on Instagram/facebook and other platforms might be in a relationship, or using these platforms for other purposes than getting hit on by guys. The odds are that girls in relationships will not even open your message, let alone answer it. As for the single girls you are DMing, if you don’t know them personally and you stumbled across their profile by chance, you are for sure not the only guy doing this. So if you’re willing to take that chance, you need to put your ego on the side and be aware that chances are they will not respond. If it hurts your ego too much, don’t engage and stick to dating apps and the girls you say you have on the side maybe?

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2020-05-22T23:29:20+00:00

Don't be on your phone so much. Its a device thats a great tool for everyday tasks, but nothing more. For me personally I'm in school, working in the lab or at the gym 90% of the time. The other 5% is cleaning up after myself and cooking food, then I need to work on assignments and studying for tests. It was fine banging a rotation of chicks in high school when there was time and I was doing fuck all. But the reality is that life is full of hell and tasks to be done throughout each day just to survive. Don't worry about a chick man, just work on you and your passion. At the end of the day, girls aren't putting money in your pocket

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-05-23T09:50:00+00:00

Do you get that upset when you don't get an answer after a job interview ?

Do you get that upset when you ask your mom for McDonalds and she doesn't bother answering ?

Do salespeople get that upset when a prospect doesn't reply ?

People don't owe you closure or an explanation. No one owes you to "reject you properly".

Stop taking it personally. If she didn't answer within 2 hours it's because she doesn't wanna talk with you, period. Stop thinking you're good or bad based on whether you can get a 100% reply rate lol

leeeeeeeroooooyyyyyy · 2020-05-23T12:04:24+00:00

The post reeks of virgin vs chad. Step one, don’t take things too personally. How is taking things personally helping you? Haven’t you ever heard of stoicism?

It’s not easy. But it’s better than being a beta bitch who complains on reddit about being left on read.

JoeyDemarco18 · 2020-05-23T12:34:53+00:00

Well first off I would stop approaching through social media as it’s easier to get “virtually rejected” because your not face to face. When you approach face to face you have the ability to give off vibes/feelings with your words you really wouldn’t be able to show through texts. It just doesn’t have the same energy. Second it’s ,social media average girls get about a shit ton of dm’s a week from hornballs sending heart eye emojis and dick pics. Justimagine the hot ones. What makes you any different? Because instead of starting with a dick pic you started with a “hello beautiful”?

aaaaji · 2020-05-22T20:49:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rynatte · 2020-05-22T18:54:36+00:00

I got the same problem bruh

anon517 · 2020-05-22T20:35:47+00:00

Be okay with being a beginner. Accept where you are, but be inspired to improve. Once you get frustrated, you will lose. Achieve the Zen of seduction. You must balance being in a good mood with your attempts to seduce. If you lose your mood, you lose.

quirkypinkllama · 2020-05-22T21:13:54+00:00

Get a man/woman funnel going and you'll hardly notice

2020-05-22T22:53:45+00:00

First, please don't be one of those people who use the term "sedditors"... (jk sort of)

But I think really just not taking it personally. Easier said than done, I know. But it's true. Because when you crash and burn (and it happens to everybody), instead of going "meh" and moving on, you let it keep you down if not downright drag you down. Then when it happens again, it repeats over and over. And it's a vicious cycle that spirals out of control until you decide to control it.

My advice: do other shit. Don't make dating/getting laid your central tenet. Read a book, workout, watch a movie, take up a hobby, go for a run. Certainly hit up women, but if it doesn't go anywhere, bummer and worry about other shit you got going on. Not even other women. Just other stuff.

Before you say: "Well you don't understand I'm so fucking ugly blah blah blah"

I have an Indian friend. He isn't good looking. In fact he's fugly. He has a big old beer belly. He's not hung (gym shower). He's not wealthy and honestly I think he has Aspergers. Great friend, one of my best, but I'm being honest here. Despite all that he has gotten laid.

If he can do, you most certainly can too. You may need to shower more, dress a little better, accept you're not going to get the hottest chick in the world (or even your 4th, 5th, 20th choice), but it's doable.

tl;dr accept rejection happens to everybody, don't make dating/getting laid your main thing or even top 5 things/do other stuff to keep you busy, healthy, wise, wealthy, etc.

mitcht3 · 2020-05-22T22:55:24+00:00

So I'm assuming you don't actually know these girls very well irl. Maybe you haven't actually met them at all. So why is your expectation that they should give you the time of day? They don't even know you.

Tinder is great and all until you realize 90% of interactions aren't going to lead to an actually meet up. It's quite an investment to actually make the time of day and commit to meeting up with someone when you don't even know them.

Even as a good looking guy with lots going for you - attempting to win a girls attention and get her to go on a date with you through social media is going to have a low success rate.

I'd suggest making acquaintance with girls irl. Lots easier to get a date when you are not a complete stranger.

miyagikai91 · 2020-05-22T23:07:21+00:00

Why do you think it bothers you?

Synth_Lord · 2020-05-22T23:55:36+00:00

Here's my secret which isn't much of a secret. I send a message and never check if it got left on 'read' or 'delivered'. If I get a reply back that's cool and if I don't then oh well. Move on. Got ghosted? Oh fucken well, move on.

optionstrappin · 2020-05-23T00:23:04+00:00

Their the ones missing out period. That’s my mental frame if someone doesn’t reciprocate my advances. It’s not a big deal it’s fine but, I know their missing out on fun. It takes a while to adapt this frame OP. It’s not real life if everyone likes you.

mordan1 · 2020-05-23T00:26:39+00:00

You can disable those notifications on most platforms. Out of sight, out of mind.

ken061095 · 2020-05-23T00:34:35+00:00

Get off the phone or computer, in short, fucking leave social media. I’ve been there man. Social media makes people entitled. Go out in the real world. Do real world stuff.

HoobaDooba420 · 2020-05-23T00:51:54+00:00

Know that you can’t control it, and it’s not your fault, she just wasn’t in to you.

hazelxnutz · 2020-05-23T01:16:45+00:00

Send messages expecting the worst.

Jasondenzo · 2020-05-23T01:30:18+00:00

Go back to offline dating trust much better and easier and don't simp just keep looking and when they come back for you remember hate fuck is always good

skaag · 2020-05-23T01:48:30+00:00

You need to understand the problem is with them, not with you. You also need to thank them because they are helping you dodge a bullet. They are choosing to shoot someone else in the heart. Those people are the kind of people you need to avoid anyway, so when it happens naturally it saves you tons of energy.

I used to write to ladies who swiped right on me that they sound lovely, but that unless we have a meaningful discussion in the next 48 hours I’m un-matching them.

And you know what? Tinder gives you better matches when you reject / un-match matches. So here’s another incentive for you to filter out the trash.

Anatalya · 2020-05-23T02:41:36+00:00

You have multiple girls in your rotation, but you’re bothered that one isn’t paying you any mind???

Schxdenfreude · 2020-05-23T03:53:47+00:00

Honestly my go to for dealing with this is to talk to so many people it doesn’t even matter. Just leave them on read and talk to someone else.

nongo · 2020-05-23T04:09:11+00:00

By being a busy person.

AmateurDemographer · 2020-05-23T04:10:01+00:00

You don’t really know why a girl ghosted you. (most of the time) You aren’t in their head. So it doesn’t make sense to dwell on it.

2020-05-23T04:20:23+00:00

Some people simply don’t think they owe you a response. I know it may seem like a personal attack, but most often times it really isn’t. I’ve gotten bummed out after hitting someone up who won’t even open my message and then I’ll see them online, but at the end of the day I know that I won’t gain anything from dwelling on it. People who leave you on read / ghost you aren’t worth dealing with, there are people out there who are worth your time and who want to speak to you, and it’s important that we focus our energy into the people that clearly do want us and not those who really don’t

2020-05-23T04:28:44+00:00

there's a huge amount of freedom that comes to you, when you take nothing personally.

ProFriendZoner · 2020-05-23T04:35:43+00:00

By having abundance. If you have 10-15 women in your loop, you won't give a rat fuck about being ignored. When you have one at a time you bitch about it.

greatlifeahead · 2020-05-23T06:12:38+00:00

You are also qualifying them and it is not just them rejecting you. You are nice to someone and then they don't even bother to reply? They aren't obviously someone you want to know. This means you reject them too. Not all people are good people and you don't want to be friends with everyone but you have to see what kind of persons they are so you can weed them out and focus on the good ones.

Flairtor · 2020-05-23T06:36:03+00:00

Stop expecting replies. Send a message and literally forget that you even sent it, to the point that if you get a response then you're suprised that you got one. Then you won't take it personally at all, you're letting it affect your ego too much by "expecting" a response.

Whywherewho · 2020-05-23T07:31:34+00:00

I struggle with this aswell. It’s come down to for me personally having an expectation of people and not loving/valuing myself. “Expect nothing, you’ll never get disappointed” Hope this helps man.

Devilery · 2020-05-23T08:24:25+00:00

"I have abundance mentality and have multiple girls in my rotation" and you think like this?

I would probably take a different approach, but now that you said this, the answer is simple (and would be true anyway) - you are not worth responding to in their perception.

Harsh, but reality. As you said: "they talk to so many guys". They also talk to many guys outside Tinder.

You either become better (in perceived or tangible value) than every other guy they're talking to or keep wondering. I can't imagine something like left on read negatively affecting my mood. I simply have other, much more important priorities. And you should have too.

I hope you're not DM-ing totally random girls, because that has like super low potential success rate.

Basically, build and know your worth. They should compliment your vision, not be your vision.

SirChodicus · 2020-05-23T08:39:36+00:00

I urge you to read my post. I had the same problem.

Is all hope lost during a global pandemic? Read this and stop being a wimp!

xoVictoriaLopez · 2020-05-23T09:30:23+00:00

I am that girl that leaves ppl on read and doesn’t open messages for 1-3 days... or a week on social media. “Why?” You may ask?...

1.) I am an entrepreneur, so I’m busy. 2.) For the purpose of retaining my sanity, I don’t have notifications on for ig and other social media apps. 3.) Maybe you should get a hobby because you are spending a lot of time wondering what the girl who is “ignoring” you is doing with her life.. she is living her life — whatever that means... (i.e.: grocery shopping, working out, cleaning her house, self care, etc.)

Being an autonomous whole person should be your first priority. Go-Getter types will notice a man who is doing well for himself. U both will add value to one another.

Hope this helps❣️🙏🏽

xoxo, V💋

GodSlayer_0 · 2020-05-23T10:02:00+00:00

By stopping looking for a girl by virtual means. It’s just a waste of time. Seduction isn’t a menu where you can look at the dishes. Seduction is living a life worth of being lived. Once you understand this, you can chose the girl you want in the world. Just stop using those virtual apps.

electric_satan · 2020-05-23T10:12:14+00:00

Just be fun and dont care. Women like when a guy doesnt care about what he says as long as what he says is cool, makes sense and wont hurt nobody

FridaAnn · 2020-05-23T13:56:17+00:00

How long has your longest relationship been? You sound absolutely terrified of rejection. So much so that you have adopted this shitty idea of “abundance mentality”. I’m not saying don’t have multiple partners, but if you won’t get to know someone and let them in you will always ultimately be rejected. Let people in dude.

Stupid_sexychad · 2020-05-23T16:25:21+00:00

Having a life

Do stuff when you start overthinking about a girl and devolop your hobbies

Also go for a walk or start checking other girls to realize that the girl in question is not zpecial

That way you won´t only be the guy she is thirsty for but you will also be happy

2020-05-24T15:05:51+00:00

I don't know man I don't play these social media games so I can't relate. What I can say is that I would probably roll my eyes if people I didn't know well were trying to hit me up on them to get dates. If a girl doesn't respond to a text of mine I just talk to a different one.

Wander1900 · 2020-05-22T20:00:37+00:00

I get read or ghosted all the time. It really bothers me. Sometimes I don't do anything wrong. Just look for convos... Why they do it? They are garbage..

iluvreddit · 2020-05-23T02:11:20+00:00

Agree. F'ck em though, don't let it get to you. They are getting hit on by dozens or hundreds of men online so have become numb to it. Time will get its revenge.

MikepGrey · 2020-05-23T02:35:53+00:00

Ok... do what I do... fill your pockets with fv<k....

and then...

Never

Give

One.....

Ladies can EARN one by treating you good and showing you a good time, and then you can reciprocate ... but never give a fv<k...

BakedAvocado3 · 2020-05-22T22:00:03+00:00

There are so many fish in the sea, brush it off and go find the next best goldfish. Think of it as her loss, not yours.

TheBacher · 2020-05-22T22:20:03+00:00

(Not intended to be a humble brag but might come across this way) Over the last month or two I've had dozens of great conversations with interesting women and have 7-10 dates set up.

just saying this so you know I'm not talking out my ass.

Some perspective to help...

Remember 95% of the time it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, the words you use, etc

Let's say you send 100 messages.

Half of women's profiles are inactive and the dating sites just leave them up.

That leaves about 50 profiles/women.

Around 50%-70% of those go unseen and unread completely (if not more)

That leaves 25 messages that MIGHT have been seen by the woman...

Out of those, another half of those women were probably busy when they saw the message and forgot to reply.

That leaves about 12...

6 of those probably just didn't think you were their "type" (just like you are not attracted to every woman you see)

That leaves about 6 who probably saw your message, want to reply, are POTENTIALLY attracted or may want to have a conversation.

OUT OF THOSE LAST 6....

She might have WANTED TO reply but couldn't think of anything to say so just didn't respond....

or

Told herself she would come back later then forgot...

or

Typed out a message then deleted it (because girls get nervous too)...

Or one of lots of other reasons.

So with all of this being said, at least 95% of the factors have nothing to do with you... Only focus on the 5% you can control.

Have great pictures.
Learn to write a creative profile that gives things for the girls to comment on.
Get creative with your first message that's simple and easy to respond to.

Play-Mation · 2020-05-22T22:22:20+00:00

Hurts the first time but gets easier. There’s so many women out there that it’s pretty much their loss. Also why you never imagine scenarios and futures with these women super early because you set yourself up for disappointment

retarded_shit · 2020-05-22T22:33:29+00:00

Simple thing bro.

Just remember that - "Those who get offended easily, learn poorly".

Instead find the reason or analyse as to why it happened and then try not to do those things in future.

Improvise..adapt..overcome.

It worked for me, i'm sure it'll work for you too :)

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2020-05-23T02:15:10+00:00

For me, it simply got easier over the years, as I impoved the rest of my life and had other shit to look forward to.

That being said, I recently read Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. It teaches a simple method for not taking things personally (or permanently, or pervasively) that works INSTANTLY like magic. Most important book I ever read.

LoverRomeox · 2020-05-23T05:36:51+00:00

Rejection does not mean that you're worthless. It simply means at this moment in time you two are not compatible for whatever reason. Maybe she's busy, maybe she read it, intended to respond later and just forgot. I've had girls reach out to me weeks, months later responding to a text. That's why it's important to have a life outside of women, build an ecosystem that generates positive emotions and leaves you feeling happy and fulfilled; fitness, diet, work, friends, purpose etc. You also need to acknowledge that you simply won't be compatible with 95%+ people who come into your life. The majority of people will never be your friends or romantic partners because you two are incompatible and that's okay. It's okay to be incompatible with people.

Jamquous · 2020-05-23T06:28:52+00:00

Shrug it off. Idk cause I dont talk to people on social medias cause of that reason and also cause I truly have no interest in any of the people on my social medias. I do have a "friend" who talks all time bout ghosting others cause her inbox is full af like 100+ msgs n such same with her snap n all that n she just dont wanna go through all of it. Getting outta your head is a different issue entirely. Your not doing anything wrong in todays society ghosting is an art form sadly. The one thing you might be doing wrong is seeking validation or something from this person when you dont need it to be who your gonna be or how your gonna be. If it makes you feel any better we all get left on read or dont even get a response. Keep your head up. Live n learn. Wins and losses come with being bosses. 🤙

2020-05-23T13:41:29+00:00

Being ghosted and silently rejected used to bother me so much. I used to think to myself, I would never do that. I would at least have the decency to say "I'm not interested." And then I realized that wasnt true. I was a hypocrite. The few times I had to reject someone I was so anxious and overwhelmed, I simply distanced myself without saying anything. When I was a little more mature and someone I actually liked as a friend asked me out, I knew I had to reject them in a respectful way because I still wanted to be friends. I told him, "I'm sorry, I think you're cool, but I'm just not interested." He thanked me for my honesty. Right move in that situation.

But I realized, the people who ghosted me had done me a favor. If we weren't going to fuck or date, I didnt really want to be friends or deal w the awkwardness of even pretending to want to be friends. Silent rejection is really the cleanest, simplest, least stressful, least dramatic way to end something you never really wanted in the first place, for both people. And now I'm more aware of myself, who I am, what I want--I realized I usually only get ghosted by the people I wasnt feeling a real connection with in the first place. They're clearing space and making room for the right people, and it bothers me much less now.

Title	How do I stop taking virtual rejection (getting left on read, getting left on delivered, getting ghosted...) so personally?
Author	ExcellentItem
Upvotes	474
Comments	106
Date	May 22, 2020 5:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gontjf/how_do_i_stop_taking_virtual_rejection_getting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-taking-virtual-rejection-getting.1496109 https://theredarchive.com/post/1496109

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