How do I unlearn game?

BlancheCorbeau · 2022-06-06T00:25:17+00:00

Step one: you never unlearn anything. You accept it, forgive it, and LEARN MORE.

What you call “game” is just social awareness and social engineering. That can only get you so far - past a certain point, there IS a real you… And if none of your coaches were teaching you how to better yourself in addition to all the “tactics”… you had pretty shitty coaches.

That said, every little technique you learn and master can be used a variety of ways, not just in the soulless pursuit of pussy and familial/professional compliance.

Nothing like game pushed into total positivity to bring someone way up if they’re having a bad day. Try some of that.

Next, instead of “scanning” for personal details to exploit, just pay attention, be present and non-judgmental, and CURIOUS about others.

That’s not normal human communication. That’s EPIC human communication, and a great way to make real friends and build a support structure of non-pickup coaches.

Also, experience people, don’t measure them. Least of all yourself.

If you want to boil it all down, maybe read about “TLO” - if you trust, let go, and become open to whatever is, without having to constantly judge it and value it… That’s probably a pretty good start to what you’re aiming for.

But overall, I think you need to think of it as better INTEGRATION of game, rather than unlearning it. Poisoning the beef at the supermarket to prevent it being eaten doesn’t bring the cow back to life.

Good4herepnp · 2022-06-06T01:12:19+00:00

Do volunteer service work brother, go down to the food bank and help unload trucks, help the men's groups at local churches by doing work for the widows ( alot of elder n younger ladies losing their men and need help with things) getting out of your world and into others opens up your heart and that's where your real game has always been from the jump.

burncushlikewood · 2022-06-06T00:28:52+00:00

You need to learn natural game, this whole gimmicky pick up stuff is the wrong message. Viewing women as "sets" or the "three second rule" or mystery method or whatever. Gaming girls is about social interaction, you shouldn't just view her as a conquest but get to know her and create chemistry in your interaction. That's what i do, I talk to her and try and build a connection

Krouser1522 · 2022-06-06T00:49:23+00:00

First of all who ever taught you “game” is about just lines you use on people taught you wrong or maybe that’s what you came away from it. game is simply a mindset of a man that has his shit together, has good social intelligence and knows how to socialize with others confidently and can attract women in how he comes across in his actions and what he says. And it isn’t about “lines”..anyone who truly understands game knows it’s less about “what you say” and more about “how you say it”..lines are simply a crutch or a tool to help you when you are in an interaction but if you do not have confidence, if you are older you must have a decent career, your own place, take care of yourself physically as well as your diet and have good style a woman will see through your “lines”..everything in your life must match up to being a man that is a catch to women not just the words that come out your mouth. And nobody wears a fucking suit all the time either..the clothes you wear are dictated by the environment you are in..if you are at a white collar job then yes..if you are at a nightclub then yes..if you are just walking down the street jogging you will look absolutely retarded in a suit

silvrr11 · 2022-06-06T03:26:15+00:00

Man all this alpha beta stuff is nonsense, that’s why there’s sigma male memes

dont-mind-me-chillin · 2022-06-06T04:42:50+00:00

I sent you a dm so you can check that out, but here’s this here.

How to “unlearn” game: You don’t, but if you wanna act more like yourself instead of always using techniques, I got you. When talking to girls just say whatever comes to mind. If it’s game sometimes, then that’s fine! It’s a part of who you are and having game isn’t bad at all. As long as you say things that are true to yourself and not toxic and manipulative. So just say whatever comes to mind. Talk about whatever you want to talk about regardless if it sounds geeky or stuff like that which you think could be considered unattractive. Don’t care what the other person will think about you or what you say. (Just censor yourself to the point of social decency by today’s standards /don’t be a dick or a creep) If you’re having trouble with this because you feel like a robot who just speaks game or doesn’t know himself, I got you.

Here’s what you can do to discover your natural self: -meditate -talk to yourself (say your thoughts out loud) Maybe even have conversations with yourself about your thoughts (Ex. Asking yourself why you go through certain emotions or have certain thoughts and then try to answer your own question by spewing out whatever comes to mind, regardless of how silly it may sound) -find time in the day to be bored (for example, turn off your phone, computer, home wifi, etc; don’t take drugs, and don’t engage in sexual activities so that you don’t have any instant gratification and are therefore bored) When you’re bored you’ll think of stuff to do or you’ll start talking to yourself. It might be hard at first but stay consistent with it. -go on walks -workout without music

I think trying those could be very beneficial to your situation. I know it might not be easy, but you have to push yourself. How bad do you want it? Also, it could also be beneficial to talk to guys and girls that you find unattractive so that maybe you don’t spit game or have unholy intentions when you talk to them.

I hope this helps!

vardarac · 2022-06-06T01:57:04+00:00

You wear a hoodie instead of a suit? BETA

fucking lol. I only own one hoodie but I can tell you shit tons of guys in any non hoity-toity part of town will wear hoodies and I guarantee you many of them are tougher, smarter, and quite possibly better with women than he is

You don't have your own business? LOL BETA

This guy sounds like an OMEGA chode

Realities_lies22 · 2022-06-06T00:37:01+00:00

Simple the is in your head listen to your heart always check what your heart wants good luck.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-06-06T07:15:32+00:00

You don't have to unlearn game, just forget about that for a bit and just self amuse so be yourself. Express your own feelings, opinion, values and if you go infield you still have so much to use if something isn't working. Getting girls is basically just 2 people have a conversation and the top of that you know game so you always have a direction where to lead the conversation and the interaction so it's pretty useful if you don't overuse it rather than using at at the right place and the right time

revente · 2022-06-06T11:40:38+00:00

By game I don't mean just words. I had a dating coach who had a very strong opinion on what's "Alpha", so for 2 years I heard stuff like:

Lol that dude sound like a loser xD.

negdawin · 2022-06-06T13:31:23+00:00

I'd recommend high vibe communication by Julien. Or if you can't buy it then even just his free YouTube videos are gold.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-06-06T15:03:58+00:00

I think the problem is you didn't learn from the right sources. Natural game is what you want to learn as its just amplifying your own natural personality. Nothing fake or gimmicky about it. If you studied the rsd content surely you know about this?

There is no real unlearning, its just focusing on the right things.

You can do what I'm doing. Just go out and talk to everyone. Prove to yourself there is no downside to starting conversations with people. Destroy the ego around that so you can walk up and talk to anyone. And slowly get to the point that no interaction is bad. Its all upside and positive. Bring energy and fun to the interactions. The purpose is to bring a fun conversation to someone or their group, thats it.

The other thing is free association so you can talk and talk. Nothing ground breaking, you just need to improvise conversation so you can keep the verbals going at times. Look that up if you need to.

Sounds like its mostly inner game you need to work on and forget about gimmicks, tricks, routines, etc... Just focus on having fun engaging conversations with people. Let go of the outcome so your not in your head.

cormacru999 · 2022-06-06T02:10:29+00:00

First, divorce yourself from the entire seduction guru world & philosophy. Its all trash, its all empty, & frankly, most women despise it. Focus on some basic humanity. Don't focus on being successful at dating or getting sex, just meet humans with no expectations, no motivations, no push to control or influence the relationship.

I completely stopped dating a few years ago. I started paying more attention to women's experiences, which you can find all over the internet in articles, blogs, posts, comments, etc. I started paying more attention to men's behavior. I started paying more attention to the data of their different experiences. As my understanding grew, my relationships with all the women in my life were changed in a profound way, from family to friends to strangers. I find those relationships so much more rewarding that trying to date & screw as often as possible, & don't get me wrong, I was very good at it even then because I was unlike most men already. But I've never been happier.

ksmith11011 · 2022-06-06T02:02:22+00:00

You aren’t seeing the whole picture. Yes it’s true regular guys can get super cute girls without knowing how anything works (ie game) but what do you think happens when one of those girls loses interest or cheats? Think those regular guys will be able to handle that? Will they be able to duplicate their prior success and get a new girl? During the relationships do you think these gameless guys are living a stress free life free from manipulation? Hell no. Trust me you don’t want to be them.

Game is more than just specific techniques which you develop through trial and error. It’s also understanding women and relationships generally, there’s no reason you’d want to unlearn that. I think you just need more self discovery and time with things. As others have said, learn even more.

I like to say “I don’t do ineffective things”

That’s part of my personality. And probably yours too.

HeIsMyPossum · 2022-06-06T04:25:27+00:00

Might be a weird suggestion, but you can take a page from improv. The whole point of improv is to clear your mind, focus abs listen entirely on the other person, and stop preloading responses. Might be a new way to unlearn some habits.

It forces you to really slow down, listen, and stop predicting what people are going to say or do.

I'm a fast thinker, and I also have hearing loss. These two combine in that every time someone is speaking, my brain shoots out these logic trees like a shotgun when I'm trying to determine what they are going to say, given that I often don't hear all of a sentence, so I have to fill it in. I'm constantly "in my head" instead of authentic listening.

supacigna69 · 2022-06-06T01:16:14+00:00

LSD probably lol

rhofire · 2022-06-06T02:43:36+00:00

What you’re describing is not game.

The core issue is you don’t value yourself much, especially relative to women. Also, as an extension of that, you have a very weak sense of self. But, let’s see if we can make it easy for you.

What do you want, when it comes to women?

Off2damoon · 2022-06-06T03:38:50+00:00

The problem with game is that it is a means to an end of sex but not necessarily a relationship or a fulfilling life. Many a PUA has come to this realization through both the self-defeating nature of having an empty arsenal of real experiences to draw from during their sarges but also coming to the conclusion that sex itself is a relatively meaningless pursuit. Synonymous to getting high or eating fast food, a quick flood of enphorines for momentary pleasure. True joy lies beyond game in a life of real experiences that don't circumvent around the pursuit of sex: adventures, creating things, learning skills, helping others, bonding with people for the sake of bonding, and rasing a family. Game is merely a skillset that enables access to one of the first rungs of life's ladder. But like an artist, you must have a full color pallet if you wish to paint a meaningful picture while game simply shows you how to hold the brush.

methmonkeysyrup · 2022-06-06T03:58:27+00:00

Pussy isn’t worth going broke over and thanks to feminism, it’s as cheap and plentiful as its ever been. When you learn and utilize game, you’ll realize you can get plenty of it without going bankrupt trying to impress females with depreciating status symbols.

nbh1995 · 2022-06-06T05:32:41+00:00

I don't think you should unlearn game. I think you should learn how to be yourself once people get to see you. The game is just a doorway into who you are. Maybe you were taught the wrong "game", it definitely sounds like it from all the bullshit generalizations from your so called dating "coach". Game is more about how to present yourself and talk to people in a way that is attractive and confident...in a way that unlocks your genuine, masculine nature. Key word, Genuine. You can be a weird dude with a hoodie that talks in a high pitched voice but as long as you own it you are good.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-06-06T04:59:52+00:00

1

I've been studying game since I was 14. For over 10 years I studied every line, technique or mindset there is.

The thing is, it was all just a compensation for my low self-worth.

Framing is very important in a discussion like this because it can highlight what kinds of actions you may be able to take to improve the situation.

If your framing is that you've studied every line, technique, or mindset that there is, and you're still having a terrible time, then you have nowhere left to go except, as you put it, to unlearn game.

The problem here is that there are plenty of people in this community. Differing philosophies. And a lot of coaches who started out strictly PUA, like Mark Manson, Style, and David Wygant, have since transitioned into a more holistic approach in their date coaching, life coaching, etc.

And the main idea a lot of them hit on is that the real task in self-improvement is to address low self-worth at its core. Not by compensating, but by building up more solidly from within, for lack of less vague terminology. (I can break this down more if you want.)

2

The techniques and lines work very well, don't get me wrong. But I've gotten to the point where the techniques is all I say. I forgot how to communicate like a normal human being. I don't know what my personality is under all the crap.

Yeah, that is a similar problem that a lot of guys who come here experience. You're not alone in this. I've seen a lot of guys over the years post similar things.

It can be hard to see the problem when, in the short term, one is actually getting laid. The problem is that it comes at the expense of who you are. Is that fair to say?

3

I use techniques on girls. I use then on friends. I use them even on my family.

That's definitely a certain ideology. There are some people who mold who they are to suit whoever's in front of them. But then they never get to be who they are or figure out who that is

4

By game I don't mean just words. I had a dating coach who had a very strong opinion on what's "Alpha", so for 2 years I heard stuff like:

You wear a hoodie instead of a suit? BETA

You are speaking in a high pitched voice? BETA

You don't have your own business? LOL BETA

Dude. Yikes. That's actually abuse masquerading as coaching. That's someone reaffirming their own narrow view of manhood by making fun of everyone else around them.

5

I want to become normal because lately I noticed that many guys have success with girls even though they don't use techniques, don't have businesses, and even wear hoodies.

A key concept to keep in mind is that a lot of things "work." Because a lot of people have different tastes and what they are attracted to. There really is no accounting for taste.

What matters is what kind of people you want to have around you in life, what kind of relationships you want to make, and what kind of person you want to be.

If you actually are the kind of guy who refuses to wear a hoodie wants to run a business, and wants to be a certain kind of alpha, you can certainly do that and attract people into your life who share those values too.

If not, then if you can make some adjustments.

6

How do I start with unlearning game?

You're kind of on the road to unlearning it right now.

A lot of guys who go through this process usually describe some form of hitting a reset button in life. Like you just have to do a house cleaning.

A: You have to go find new friends to support the new direction you want to take in life.

Maybe you already have friends who will do so. Certainly there may be some in your family who would.

B: Finding new people

If you're not sure where to start it to find some new people, then:

Go to Facebook
Do a search for an activity/interest/hobby + the name of your city.
Browse under the events and groups tabs for regularly recurring events near you. Pick out a few to sample every week.
For the best results, you should get outside your comfort zone, a lot. Try new things. Challenging things. Like take up a social partner dance. (Salsa, Argentine Tango, West Coast Swing, Lindy Hop, etc.)

C: You have to change your habits.

Take some time to yourself. Stop running the same pattern you may have been running.

Like if you've been hitting the clubs every weekend, then take a break for a few weeks until you find your center again. Basically, get off the hamster wheel of whatever game you've been running.

It doesn't mean that you have to be a complete hermit but it does mean that you need to spend more time with yourself. Treat yourself to something you like on the weekend.

I've been in a similar situation where I had to hit reset. I had a rotation of seven or eight girls and I wasn't happy with it so I scrapped it all. In that situation, basic things like a night in playing video games or watching a movie, without judging oneself can be a huge luxury.

(Things like this which are taken in moderation aren't harmful. The problem is when you spend all your time playing video games.)

D: Realize that you're probably going to have to drop some friends

If the people you're hanging with now are still fully into the kind of game and lifestyle that you're trying to get out of, they won't support the changes you're looking to make.

They will even denigrate you and insult you in an attempt to keep you from abandoning the values they hold. Because it helps validate their own values for them.

Candid_Tumbleweed134 · 2022-06-07T16:28:22+00:00

Game isn’t real so just do whatever you actually truly want. You wanna wear a hoodie go wear one. Simple as that.

Legal_Development · 2022-06-06T01:50:16+00:00

Sorry man but this made me chuckle a lot

Ok_Combination_1831 · 2022-06-06T00:56:00+00:00

LMAO

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-06T01:46:59+00:00

You can't. You are fucked.

WhatAreYouSaying05 · 2022-06-06T00:27:11+00:00

Wish I was you right now

epimpstyle · 2022-06-06T11:08:42+00:00

Forget about Alpha, Beta, and Sigma guys because they are terms invented some years ago by people (I guess Mystery and his crowd). They don't understand the human temperament like a human person being introvert, extrovert, sanguine, choleric, etc... and they named such a guy Alpha and who is not acting like that they are Beta.

If boys are Alpha, Beta, etc...I'm wondering whether the girls are also Alpha, Beta because I never heard about an Alpha girl :-)

Ikem32 · 2022-06-06T11:37:39+00:00

Do the opposite what you usually do?

zertsetzung · 2022-06-06T12:20:56+00:00

Sounds like your sources were maybe not that great.

check out girlschase.com I've been reading them for 9 years.

No I dont write for them.

I wish I did.

VegasPartyGodz · 2022-06-06T12:57:30+00:00

Why is a alpha noticing beta folks sound like u giving up , u need refocus an remember why u learn those techniques? Get laid , marriage , have multiple woman on rotation 👌 shit it working for u are u just capping

LSN710 · 2022-06-06T14:06:35+00:00

On the flip side , how do I learn game ? LOL

maracat1989 · 2022-06-06T16:11:20+00:00

Learn about respect and integrity

entitledwank · 2022-06-06T17:26:34+00:00

Did you not read the second half of the game by Neil Strauss?

The whole point was to show you that the gimmicks only helped to start but very quickly turn you into a social robot.

Turn your brain off and turn your listening cue on. Make every conversation personalized. Remember everyone is unique, get to know them.

EthicalSeduction · 2022-06-06T17:58:06+00:00

Authenticity! That's what you are after, being your authentic self and not acting like an image of what you think people want.

Great question and post because this shows (1) you are thinking and (2) want to finally focus on being your real self and getting what you want. You will have to reconsider all the assumptions that you made in order to find out what is really real. The good news, in doing so you will just get better and better. Think of this as refinement and almost like you coming out. It may be scary at times when you are not following "the official seduction rules" because then you will be experimenting a bit, but that's how you get to be free. And this is what I feel you are really desiring.

To "unlearn" and get guidance on what to do or say in any situation, stay focused on the word "authenticity". Authenticity is your guide! Keep asking yourself if this is what you want and true to who you are.

There is a ton you can research and learn about regarding authenticity, because like you, most people wrestle with living this way. But why would you ever want to live otherwise?!

And lastly as a side note, it's important to understand that acting authentically is a key trait of someone who is "alpha" or "dominant". By being yourself you will likely just strengthen your game too.

Title	How do I unlearn game?
Author	Yellow_Squeezer
Upvotes	69
Comments	60
Date	June 6, 2022 12:00 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v5q0e0/how_do_i_unlearn_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-unlearn-game.1257845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1257845

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