Question to men...

lanyardequine · 2019-11-27T05:46:35+00:00

Ain't nobody got time for that shit

Lungingloverofcake · 2019-11-27T06:23:55+00:00

Please don't do it. I understand you trying to make him want you more but it's just confusing and hurtful

LSpoweredcouch · 2019-11-27T05:36:39+00:00

Guys almost universally hate it and have no patience for it. We see it as you not being interested, so we usually ignore the girl in question and move on to people who won't waste our time playing hard to get.

SaltySam4 · 2019-11-27T07:42:05+00:00

I will always 100% drop a girl if they start playing hard to get, even if I’m super keen on them. Happened before and it’ll probably happen again

Why would I want to get into something serious with someone who thinks it’s OK to play these kinds of games? What does it say about you as a person in the future. Not the person I’d want to get involved with

Rozer0 · 2019-11-27T06:58:28+00:00

If you’re interested, be interested, act like it, with good reason of course. The hot and cold shit, it’s just confusing.

SithLordJediMaster · 2019-11-27T06:50:29+00:00

I assume you're not interested and so I find another girl

electricshuffle1 · 2019-11-27T05:36:33+00:00

It's good in moderation and makes you fun to be around. Do it too much and we lose interest because it seems like you're yanking our chain

ericporing · 2019-11-27T08:38:17+00:00

Dont play hard to get. Be mysterious. There is a difference.

nigehuhe · 2019-11-27T09:34:57+00:00

For girls , it's about fun. For males it's about respect. If you don't respect their time, wave your hands to say a goodbye.

cryptedp · 2019-11-27T06:36:03+00:00

I do not have fucking time for this

kevixdark · 2019-11-27T10:12:42+00:00

Only beta males looking for scraps from sloppy seconds will tolerate this behavior. You want a doormat, or a man with confidence?

You choose.

AnneStaz · 2019-11-27T08:42:30+00:00

Yeah intentionally doing this is dumb. Most guys that are high value are just gonna walk away and get with other girls.

SonofLelith · 2019-11-27T08:36:20+00:00

Mind games, time games and all that noise is something I dont like, at all. To me it comes off as immature. My time is valuable so I dont want to gamble my time away by being with this kind of woman.

Social_cynicism · 2019-11-27T09:45:54+00:00

Not only it's a complete waste of time, it can also mess the guy's social calibration terribly.

If you keep pushing and pushing and she doesn't reciprocate, and later on he realizes that she was playing hard to get, next time he's with another woman is gonna push even further because he will think she's playing hard to get when she's actually not interested.

We can take a no for response, but we don't want to feel like we are wasting time or annoying people by just approaching.

2019-11-27T09:32:49+00:00

Guys that are higher in food chain won't even bother, guys lower will think that you are out of their league. Don't.

AsurasPath23 · 2019-11-27T09:35:58+00:00

I would ignore you completely and move on after a few minutes. Don't have time to cater to those type of people.

nofapApollo · 2019-11-27T10:03:10+00:00

It'll work until the man figures out his worth.

Then you'll be shit out of luck.

Justthetruf · 2019-11-27T05:49:32+00:00

Be attractive enough to make the wait worth it otherwise why wait.

securetree · 2019-11-27T08:10:19+00:00

Some guys will go along with it, but generally they're the ones who like to play those kind of games (manipulative) or they're guys with nothing else going on in their dating lives (desperate). You do not want to screen for those types of men.

DopeOxide · 2019-11-27T09:41:46+00:00

When that happens to me, literally can't be fucked to talk to her and move on.

drunkfuck933 · 2019-11-27T07:16:20+00:00

Not a fan personally but then again i havent actually had an interest in any specific girl in a long time. I suppose if i found a girl i really liked and she did that it probably would turn me off a bit. I know that some girls like to play these games which play with peoples emotions and i think its kinda fucked. And im not saying all are like this. And i certainly cant speak for all men either maybe it will make some guys work harder for you i guess.

Mitragyne93 · 2019-11-27T08:02:06+00:00

If it's a guy who feels like he can't attract lots of women (even if he could, if he tried), he might put up with it. Since he feels like the only alternative is to be alone. But if it's a guy who knows he is attractive to lots of women, he has no incentive to put up with it, because he knows he can find a girl that's just as attractive who won't play hard to get.

I wouldn't recommend it.

nigehuhe · 2019-11-27T09:32:59+00:00

Do it for more than a week and forget about the guy. The interest peak at around 3-4 days. Then, we start hating it. It's like I'm doing everything from my side still she ain't giving a fuck! I had a girl, like you, i loved her from the core of my heart. She loved me too. Somehow she got to know about this. At first she became soo close to that i felt like asking her out. Then she started playing hard. I thought that it was only me who thought she was also in me. At first, it was fun. Then, i started thinking that it's just how it is. Then, she continued this and my friends told me that i am such a coward to stick with this girl. Yeah. This kind of things hurts us males. I left falling for her. She still continued for like 2 weeks. Then , she asked me out but i straight away rejected, i felt cheated by how she did all those things, i felt like my efforts were not respected enough and there are higher amount of chances that it would happen in future, i felt like she was into someone.

MrPapotasVIP · 2019-11-27T10:05:27+00:00

This is a tough question. But my answer would be “you can play hard at certain point”. This means that, at least for me, you can play hard but you still need to show interest on me or otherwise I will consider you as a bitch, because who wants to waste their time, right? I really feel amazing if I break that barrier and also let’s you learn a lot from the person.

But when they play completely hard in a way to make you think they’re completely untouchable, out of your league, impossible to get, however you want to call it... no man will respect you as you’re behaving like trash.

squeezycakes19 · 2019-11-27T10:06:02+00:00

caution is fine but dishonesty is not

ImJustSo · 2019-11-27T12:14:03+00:00

So here's a guide I made for women in dating:

Step one. No orgasms.

Step two. Kissing, petting, getting turned on are all acceptable.

Step three. After the 4th good date, you're allowed to fuck.

Do not dos:

Don't tell men what you're looking for, because they can use it against you.

Don't ask men what they're looking for, unless you want to hear bullshit.

Don't agree to a private place(e.g. your house or their house) unless you're confident that you can follow steps 1-3.

Edit: oh and every guy in this thread is the kind of guy you probably don't want. They're all saying they're unwilling to wait and that's because they all want to get their dick wet as soon as possible. They know a different girl will easily have sex with them and they'll move on. Problem is that many guys will also just move on after banging you anyways. Any guy that you think is hot is also a guy that every other girl thinks is hot. Not all hot guys are whores, but most of us are.

You follow the guide and it protects you a bit from the over eager, gives time for a guy to develop an attachment before sex, and still keeps his interest.

theblaiders22 · 2019-11-27T12:15:20+00:00

It can make things more intresting, but it can also make things more confusing. But in general it can make the relationship better for some people

plumbumber · 2019-11-27T09:57:04+00:00

Everyone is different, but if it were me, i would probably give up thinking your another girl thinking shes to good for me.

PiperBigBell · 2019-11-27T15:40:40+00:00

I'll write you off as a goofy bitch in my mind that will never recognize my worth or give me a return on my investment, so she's charged to the game. Peace I'm gone. Girls that play hard to get are good for practicing game on, but never taking them seriously.

youngbull- · 2019-11-27T16:13:30+00:00

Fuck that , I’m bailing on you.

ChrisDarmount · 2019-11-27T18:11:48+00:00

This is like the reverse problem when men ask women for dating advice and the women give bad advice because they say what they think they want but not what they actually respond to.

I think most of us men would go nuts over a woman they liked who was playing hard to get.

I mean, obviously you could take it too far. To the point where neither one of you have any fun. But it sounds like that’s not what you’re doing.

If it’s working for you, which it sounds like it is, you should probably keep doing it.

And to answer your question, it’s stresses men the fuck out when you play hard to get. But sometimes stress and frustration are very very good for attraction.

MissFifi1097 · 2019-11-27T21:19:41+00:00

The things you posted don’t seem too extreme, actually. It sounds more like you making sure the guy is making an effort and not just trying to booty call.

You need to mix it up occasionally and be the one to initiate contact/a date/sex. That will most likely counteract any negative feelings a guy gets from you being slightly distant and make him continue to pursue you.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-11-28T04:15:16+00:00

1

I want to know what guys think when girls play hard to get.

As you've posed this question on a forum that's often dominated by lonely and frustrated guys, you're not likely to get a positive response from some of them.

Many of them are exhausted with trying to figure out social interactions with women in general because they've grown up in a culture that discourages them from developing the social skills that would allow them to navigate through such interactions.

So you might as well have asked, "How do you feel about people playing games that lead to you being alone?"

2

I started dating again after a long term relationship and keep hearing different things on the matter.

In the end, opinions aren't going to matter as much as the results you see. If you're only just started dating recently, you won't know what those results really have been until maybe next year, looking back at what has happened and what kind of people you ended up with.

3

By playing hard to get I mean being colder in the beginning, not opening up too quickly, not giving up your time too easily etc.

I get a lot of matches on dating apps......I usually tend to wait until a guy reaches out first. However if I thought he was really cute etc. Sometimes I reach out first.

I wait for them to ask me for my IG/social media and wait for them to reach out.

This part doesn't actually come off "colder," so much as practical. If you have a lot of matches, you need a way to weed things down a bit.

However, just realize that the way you present yourself will attract certain people, while also repelling certain other people. This is just basic human nature.

4

When we talk I respond, at most matching their efforts.

However I don't always answer all of their questions specifically those that are personal. If I see the convo is ending, I leave it up to them to continue or reach out to me again.

I leave it up to them to ask me out on a date, and let them confirm it as well.

Here's the thing: A lot of stuff "works."

There are going to be some guys who go for this kind of interaction that you are offering here. And others who will peace out quickly. But what kind of interaction are you encouraging here?

Meeting someone halfway is great, but you're only doing that at most, implying that you often don't go that far even? Which means you will be attracting guys who lack self-respect and don't mind having to do most of the work in an interaction. Perhaps guys who are more "traditionally minded." Which is fine, I suppose, if you expect or want to be treated as a more old-fashioned woman. A kept woman, stay at home mom, more on the submissive end, etc.
You're not answering all of those questions. Two sides to this:
- If it's too personal, then that really ought to be an automatic disqualification for the guy.
- If we're not talking about things that are too personal, just that you want to withhold information, then we're veering into deceptive and evasive territory, which means the guys who stick around through this behavior, are usually going to be like-minded.

5

I don't accept last minute plans, that includes tonight or tomorrow night plans.

Having a hard rule on something like...... it really depends on what your actual life is like.

If you have created a life for yourself where you actually have legit things to do and short notice won't fly, then you're being honest in not accepting last minute plans.

If you have nothing to do and you're turning things down, then you're either lying if you give a fake reason you can't, or you're being arbitrary in rejecting it with no reason. Lying or being arbitrary will turn a lot of well-meaning guys away and also leave you with more manipulative dudes as the ones willing to put up with this.

6

I don't always respond immediately to their text, and usually I am to the point. However i am more friendly and open in person.

I let the guy text me first after the date to say he had a great time.

Same sort of issue here:

If you legitimately arriving at these behaviors, that's not a problem.
If you are contriving these ways of acting and responding, that's heading into deceptive behavior once again. If you're doing it artificially, that will eventually be clear to them and it's a bad look. Especially when it's clear that it's a front because you're completely different in person.

7

For the first two months I see them just once a week.

I don't agree to be bf and gf too quickly.

These are reasonable, actually.

8

I don't tell them what I want or what I am exactly looking for ex relationship, marriage etc. ( Helps you not get played)

You ought to at least know, for yourself, what you want. When people date, what they want is going to leak out into their behaviors and word choice whether they like it or not.

And if you hide what you want, you're most certainly going to repel more honest and well-meaning guys because being avoidant is a red flag behavior. Which is fine if you're only after something casual. But otherwise, what you're doing is screening the better relationship candidates OUT and you'll be left with dishonest and (emotionally) unhealthy candidates.

HRS0497528 · 2019-11-27T06:01:13+00:00

As long as you're aren't going overboard and still give us some signs of interest it's fun, but if you do it to much, we may think you're not interested get annoyed and move on.

fabmarques21 · 2019-11-27T09:40:25+00:00

annoying.

it's okay in the very beggining, but after the first date if you still play hard... imma let you go and let you be hard for another dude lol, i don't have to pay for the mistakes of your ex boyfriend, sorry not sorry

ThisPlaceIsNiice · 2019-11-27T08:02:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WIA20XX · 2019-11-27T07:07:00+00:00

Good!

Guys that aren't players HATE IT. But they respond to it. They can't help themselves. You'll pull 80% of guys like that.

The thing is, most girls think that 80% of guys just aren't attractive enough. Not tall enough. Not funny enough. Other girls don't think he's cute. He's not rich enough. His friends aren't cool enough. He doesn't go to enough cool places.

But maybe you'll get lucky.

You'll find this perfect guy that you can attract. Maybe he knows his value, maybe he doesn't.

If he doesn't know his value, you can manipulate him right into the relationship that you want. I'm sure you'll be happy for a time. Maybe he'll quit playing video games and spend all that time with you instead.

But if he does know his value to other women, he'll let you play your hot and cold game, send all the right signals, and still fuck all the other chicks on the side.

You won't be his number one, but you'll think you are.

As players, we basically figured out that you can wait out any girl, because lots of other girls will meet our needs.

In actuality, A relationship with a good girl is a bonus for a man....eventually.

But if a guy is getting lots of female attention, a relationship is a bad deal. A new girl every couple of days, or the having to answer the "what do you want to eat?" from the same girl every day?

Most of us can have lots of fun fucking girls that we HATE. Most of us don't need a special emotional connection to have a good time. The girl doesn't need to know my body so that I can get off. It's just fun sex. A decade of meaningless casual sex is pretty pathetic at the end of ten years, but it's absolutely fun the whole ten years.

After Ms Rules has gotten 5 quality dates after 8 weeks of waiting, and finally decides to fuck - the player will fuck her, and use the sex as the main factor to decide if she's worth keeping around, worth staying "faithful" to.

Will he call? Will he return the text? Is he going to be nice? Did I impress him?

What if the sex was bad? What if you are in love with a guy with a micro penis? What if he gets super clingy?

So for a high value guy, hot and cold/making the guy wait/making him invest - it doesn't mean anything. It means something to a girl, but it rarely means anything to a guy.

I'm still fucking other chicks and comparing what you bring to the table versus what they bring.

And usually the sex isn't fireworks and the manipulative personality is a negative.

You think that we don't know that you keep your phone by your side at all times. I know you saw my text and chose not to respond. I know that you're playing games. I am not going to forget. Maybe other guys will, but I won't. No high quality guy will.

So by all means, do everything that they your girlfriends advise you to do. Maybe you'll land an attractive tall and nice guy that will fall for that. Chances are that you won't, but maybe you will! I have faith in you.

Cheers.

immerdergewinner · 2019-11-27T08:59:53+00:00

Hate it. Why change your genuine feelings towards a person? Sure, this might attract SOME men even more, because they subconsciously think, getting someone that is hard to get, makes themselves feel more valuable.

In the end it’s all about the REAL personality and chemistry of two people.

By playing hard-to-get, or anything that you are not, you will only postpone the inevitable and waste not only there, but also your own precious time.

wolskortt · 2019-11-27T09:40:56+00:00

I, personally, would understand it as if you're not interested / lack of chemistry, even if you went on a date. It's ok to not expose yourself too much on the beginning of a date but if you keep for too long you may drive them away. If you keep cold / distant too hard / long it will be difficult to make real connections.

j1ndujun · 2019-11-27T10:07:42+00:00

Its utterly annoying. If you're interested just spend some time together.

Vigil_the_Shaper · 2019-11-27T10:16:50+00:00

I hate it. It frustrates my patience and makes me doubt the other person's interest in me. If someone acts cold and closed towards me on the first date, it is less likely that there would be a second date.

Eplotic · 2019-11-27T10:30:31+00:00

I like the effort/initiative split to be 50/50. Though I also can love the girl putting more effort than me (if I really like a girl, I will not feel overwhelmed by it).

I definitely dislike being the one that makes more effort, so I will not keep pushing it / will get away from it. I know that it is not fair, but it is how I feel about it

junbdimir · 2019-11-27T10:45:57+00:00

we are supposed to respect women, if we think you are not interested then we are supposed to walk away.

velsee93 · 2019-11-27T11:00:00+00:00

There’s a very fine line when you play this game, you’re portraying yourself to be in this grey area. Whoever is pursuing you is unsure of your level of interest. This could be both a good and a bad thing. It can be good because it doesn’t make you look easy, and men always want what they can’t have. But if you portray yourself even just a little bit too cold/not into him he may lose interest just like that and give up on pursuing you all together. My advice is to never make yourself too readily available, allow things to develop slowly. Men always like the thrill of the chase no matter how much they try to deny it, but don’t go as far as giving him majorly mixed signals. This can make you come across as manipulative/someone who likes to fuck with peoples feelings by playing games. As comedian Ally Wong has said, treat yourself like a secret garden, even if your a public park. Lol

zainso · 2019-11-27T11:03:18+00:00

For the first few days, I would give you the benefit of doubt and believe that you're busy or getting comfortable when you're actually playing hard-to-get. But if lasts anything beyond a week, I would lose interest in you. Cuz people are attracted to each other bacause of how easy it is to be around them and do things together... But playing hard-to-get does just the opposite, hence the loss of interest. If you want to be valuable to someone, add value to their life, don't withhold yourself from them.

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2019-11-27T11:16:07+00:00

A few of the girls I know who play hard to get are still single while their friends are all married with kids.

NewtypeJ · 2019-11-27T11:35:43+00:00

I personally like it to a certain extent. It provides some fun. Just the mistake I’ve seen girls make is that they become too hard to get and they kill their chances with great guys. PUAs everywhere will tell you that girls take a serious chance when they get with a guy, but the fact of the matter is that guys take an almost equal chance. We have what I call: Dating Investment, this is why so many will say that they hate when a girl plays hard to get. Dating investment means that as men we are required to pay and work for everything while you learn job as the woman is to receive it and hopefully reward us. I myself have been a victim to Dating Investment scamming before and it sucked. I was young then and I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve gotten over it.

Like any real investment, it’s a major risk and could turn out badly if it doesn’t work out. The key thing is you have to be caught and some point (if you like the guy that is) otherwise if it goes on, you’re basically leading him on and if the guy is smart, he’ll cut you off and go get his validation from any other woman.

In the end, playing hard to get isn’t a bad thing if done correctly. It sounds like you’re doing this already, keep up the good work.

terrapinninja · 2019-11-27T11:36:29+00:00

What does hard to get mean? Does it mean being vague and not showing interest? Does it mean mind games? Or does it just mean flirting where you are making it very clear you are interested but just aren't jumping into his pants immediately? I think most guys can tolerate a little extended flirting and courtship so long as it's expertly performed and you keep showing strong interest while just slowing things down initially

thechampion95 · 2019-11-27T11:37:38+00:00

I feel like this can be a two edged sword. I don't like when girls "fall" to easily, because it takes time to get to know someone. However, patient has limits, and after a while, if she still doesn't give me signs, I move on, not gonna waste my time and, honestly, my mental health, on her

Jimmylynn56 · 2019-11-27T11:38:33+00:00

You have to be careful!! Get a feeling of the person your communicating with! That goes for men and women!

sigma_1234 · 2019-11-27T11:50:02+00:00

If you're interested still, keep it going and see where it goes, and just drop her if she still isn't interested.

What I would just suggest is start looking for someone else on the side. Just don't be needy.

DJW11 · 2019-11-27T12:14:16+00:00

Immature af, I refuse to play games

sanepanda · 2019-11-27T12:19:44+00:00

A little bit of wait is fine if I really like the girl and maybe would consider a relationship with her but don’t overdo it.

nsfyou2 · 2019-11-27T12:21:31+00:00

A man who values his time and others' time, will not put up with this. It also goes to show where your priorities are. A little bit is considered flirting, sure. But if it stretches on for days, why would you even entertain someone who chases after you?

If I may ask, what are those positive results that you are seeing?

Siyuen_Tea · 2019-11-27T12:27:51+00:00

Try r/fpua

Imho a guy knows what he wants as well as a woman does. Fpua should have advice other women have tried with success

freespirit1963TJ · 2019-11-27T12:32:26+00:00

Chemistry should guide your choice if people to date. That is one of the problems with dating, people are looking for money, how physically attractive someone is, what this person can do for you, influence people too much. That is why many times people end up unhappy.

stinkers87 · 2019-11-27T12:46:47+00:00

Jeeze you're getting absolutely nuked here. I feel bad for you as I posted a genuine question in a super hardcore feminist forum against the grain and they ripped my balls off in two seconds flat. By the 1,000th hate comment and downvote it got tiring to read.

But... They're all right. There's nothing more baffling that a girl turning cold on you and then sending you positive messages. It confused the hell out of him and in the end you just figure she haughty bitch or there's some other guy she's trying to attract by using you as bait to make him jealous.

I had a long conversation with some ladies half my age at the pub about how the get the guys they like and its was insane. The plans the drama and she schemes and all that was screaming in my head was, 'go over, talk to him, tell him you like his shoes, they match his top - did his gf dress him as most guys don't have a clue in hell how to dress!' and you're in there.

Xazax310 · 2019-11-27T12:54:51+00:00

Most guys wont waste there time you'll find a few that like you that might pursue. If a girl is playing "hard to get" I'd just get with the girl that shows actual interest in me and is willing to meet-up with me.

notathr0waway1 · 2019-11-27T13:25:05+00:00

You're only going to attract desperate losers who are willing to pursue you because you're out of their league.

If that's what you're going for, and you like drama and difficult relationships, go for it.

But the best experiences with another person are when you're both on the same level. It's not you vs the other person. It's a team sport.

Teddy_Nobs · 2019-11-27T13:25:22+00:00

My time is limited, so if you play the hard to get/hard to open up/hard to know wtf is up with you.. I'm going to be the one hard to be get because I don't have time for bullshit

yurifca · 2019-11-27T13:27:18+00:00

I'll insist just a little, because it's something really common.

Yet, if shes trying too hard i'll just leave it, there is no point in chasing her, it will just reinforce this behaviour.

fedetxt · 2019-11-27T13:45:45+00:00

A high value men, don't waste their time in that bullshit.

2019-11-27T14:19:13+00:00

Soft next her, if she stays the same hard next her

gapdaddy72 · 2019-11-27T14:23:00+00:00

Is she playing hard to get? Or just not as interested as you want? Important to find out which one it is. For very good reasons women tend to be less direct in communicating they aren’t looking to progress a possible romantic relationship.

normallyjustreadhere · 2019-11-27T14:29:09+00:00

Depends on your age. Hard to get was ok and funny at 16

Once your in your 20s ppl some have time for games

Veganpuncher · 2019-11-27T15:28:23+00:00

Try being honest. If you're looking for a mate, don't start by feeding him lies and bullshit from the beginning, you'll just drive away the good ones and encourage the game-players.

If you just plain don't like the guy, or don't think he suits you, just give him an easy send-off - You are very kind, thank you for the compliment, but I'm really not into dating right now. I hope you find a nice girl.

If you do like him initially, a simple invitation to chat would be appreciated. You can't judge a book by its cover. Talk about things you like and, if you think he's interesting, say 'Hey I gotta get out of here, here's my number, I'd like to catch up on Tuesday for brunch, if it doesn't suit you, suggest something else.' Take a joint selfie. Then you have time to talk to your friends, show them what he looks like, get their advice. Never cancel the date, just bear in mind their advice.

Good luck.

codewizbambam · 2019-11-27T16:04:41+00:00

Okay as a guy, let me like take your perspective a bit. I would honestly say it strongly depends on the man material you have available, since in some way, it's also how strong you filter. If you can afford to filter strong (eg you have good material available) then it actually makes sense.

Hardbarka · 2019-11-27T16:34:29+00:00

I really enjoy «the game», and the tension that is built up when the girl is h2g, so when I finally «win her over», it’s so much more intense. Its like foreplay. I wouldnt take the poeple in this sub too serious. A lot of the guys here are here to learn how to get a girl to like him. Of course they would say no, because the concept of a girl being h2g is in some way the reason they are here in the first place.

If you want quality men, you should seek for the ones confident enough to know they are a catch.

I have to add that being h2g is not the same as being very interested, and then not at all. It simply means you dont gove yourself over right away. Make the dude work for it, and judge the dude by how well he does it. This will help you filter out the good and the bad.

Umbran_scale · 2019-11-27T16:45:21+00:00

probably gonna get lost in here but here's another vote.

Waste of time, either do or don't, no one's got time for maybe and you're a cruel person for stringing someone along.

wagsyman · 2019-11-27T17:00:24+00:00

I just called a girl out for this last night. She said I need to earn her time and convince her I was worth it, and then when I wasn't biting she said try harder. I said I'm too old for that crap (25) and I'm not interested in chasing after someone who's just playing games. Then she backpedaled into "well you should take me out on a date some time". Lol now you're already setting me up as the one to pay? Noooo thanks. My time is more valuable to me than your time is.

suksukulent · 2019-11-27T18:01:35+00:00

The answer is not that easy.

I think, being not overly open will stop the "one night sex" men.

But being overly hard to get, only the most patient will stay, if they even exist.

The point is to find the sweet spot.

And no-one likes girl being overly hard to get. Every one will just stop after some point...

gapdaddy72 · 2019-11-27T18:35:24+00:00

There is a difference between being cautious and playing hard to get. Being cautious? Totally fine. Making me jump through hoops? Nope.

burningsmurf · 2019-11-27T18:57:52+00:00

There’s really no point in playing hard to get when you actually think about it. You are either interested or you’re not. I don’t waste time with those games

Wintersalmonelose · 2019-11-27T19:18:40+00:00

When you play hard to get, you only get what you deserve and not what you want.
I personnally hard next any girl playing hard to get, because I don't like playing games and I feel insulted when someone tries to run one on me instead of being straightforward.

Hubblenobbin · 2019-11-27T20:36:12+00:00

I'd drop a girl like this pretty fast. I've wasted enough time on girls who weren't enamored with me. A younger and dumber me would have kept at it for the thirst, but the juice was never worth the squeeze. By contrast, girls that can barely help themselves are awesome.

LoveNotH86 · 2019-11-27T22:26:02+00:00

Playing hard to get is immature so if you want something real why aggravate him?
Playing hard to get doesn’t work as well on men with experience these days. Women are easily accessible now via apps and even Instagram so most aren’t going to waste their time on someone who’s blatantly trying to mess with their mind.

hitthewallrunning · 2019-11-27T23:50:48+00:00

I think you shouldn't play games, but you also need to have a life.

Least1ngenuity · 2019-11-28T00:05:29+00:00

Sounds like you should start investing in cats.
no but really thats a bad strategy. Can you get away with it? Depends on things like how social, good looking, etc you are. But why would you limit yourself to what falls in your lap?

HeavenPiercingMan · 2019-11-28T00:29:39+00:00

I agree with many contrasting comments here. Not with the classic belligerent PUA babble and the obligatory sycophant replying "bEsT cOmMeNt eVar!11!11!!"

But there's two different types of hard to get.

The one who turns into a wall (don't do this, nobody likes talking to a wall) or just acts like literally doesn't even give a shit about what the guy is doing. To us, that feels humiliating. Maybe a guy with no confidence will drag himself trying to fish for a compliment from you, and that's no good for anyone, speaking from personal experience, having been in both sides. This is what the guys here are thinking of when they (and me included) say when they don't wanna waste time.
the one who is receptive and might flirt back, but won't push forward and make a move, which makes tension bigger. Or might be like "nothing more is gonna happen, wink wink nudge nudge" That can be fun and effective.

It's like in pro wrestling. Villains getting bad heat (booing) by being villains with the audience makes the event fun, makes you want the heroes to beat them. In contrast, dead heat (lack of audience reaction) means the audience is uninterested in the wrestler and just ignores him - which means the show itself is failing.

UneAmi · 2019-11-27T06:28:31+00:00

A bit risky once a guy thinks that you are meeting other guys as well, and make him feel alike a back-up.

If he is in early 20s maybe he is still too dumb enough to care about being a back-up.

VastDeferens · 2019-11-27T08:19:12+00:00

In moderation and briefly near the beginning is fine. But will get old quickly if it seems like a winless game. Keep in mind that there are probably other prospects in the picture and that he can easily just move to some else who shows more interest

jpjohnny · 2019-11-27T08:41:16+00:00

If you really know hown to play it.. It's the push pull from women.. you got to show both interest and say you dont want it.. Fun games. Unfortunately most women just dont know how to do it..

its_going_down_ · 2019-11-27T11:30:22+00:00

What do you mean by better results OP?

Brxney · 2019-11-27T11:39:38+00:00

He will talk with you if he likes you. BUT why would you play hard to get if you like him too?

Renux666 · 2019-11-27T12:00:25+00:00

If a girl plays hard I always move on..

xoldsteel · 2019-11-27T17:26:46+00:00

Playing hard to get make me less interested, to be frank. Because it makes approaching, teasing, talking and all that with her more difficult and uncertain, and that is not fun. Love is fun, playful and makes one feel free and more confident, not less so.

3minuteman · 2019-11-27T20:51:48+00:00

If they don't seem too interested in me, I move on.

Title	Question to men...
Author	MissFifi1097
Upvotes	81
Comments	148
Date	November 27, 2019 4:43 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e2asth/question_to_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-to-men.1484776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484776

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