What did I do wrong?

Radicalmattitude1 · 2022-07-30T10:12:33+00:00

Can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. Took me a long time to figure out how to manage emotional momentum at the club. Basically when you start dancing and making out with her, you’re effectively spiking her emotions. If you spike her emotions too much too fast, there’s nowhere to go but down. If you just keep taking her onto the dance floor and making out, it becomes a cheap trick that loses its effectiveness, the vibe starts to go down and she starts to “not feel it”.

Instead, you want to ride the wave by steadily building up the emotions and sexual tension over the night. Kiss her and then tease her back and forth slowly moving up towards passionate kissing. Always leave room to shift into a higher gear. It’s hard because making out and grinding feels good , but never get overly sexual and passionate at the club so that she’s always wanting more.

Only spike her emotions really high right before you’re about to leave. Then get her all hot and bothered so she’s ready to go home with you, be a leader and tell her “let’s get the fuck out of here”. Then just take her hand and take her home.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-30T06:20:35+00:00

I think it was the letting her tounge down your throat. I have to go now, too.

Turbopre2 · 2022-07-30T06:27:16+00:00

Hard to say. Any little thing can turn a girl off.

Imtheassshole · 2022-07-30T09:49:46+00:00

Was she on drugs? U keep talking about her pupils that typically doesn’t happen when you first meet someone

mikejamesone · 2022-07-30T10:16:28+00:00

You can only kiss so much before it expires / burns out.

After a few kisses, you should sit down and have a drink or bounce from the club to a diner or your place.

Ch3shirefox89 · 2022-07-30T08:31:43+00:00

Could breath have been a factor?

Difficult_Ad_8299 · 2022-07-30T06:31:12+00:00

Man this is clear. She didn’t feel your kissing styles were compatible according to what you just said. That happens, move on.

Liberaler · 2022-07-30T07:52:06+00:00

chemistry and a women's emotions are not governed by logic. Ultimately, the search for your exact mistake is therefor futile. Thinking that perfect behaviour can always lead you to success is a form of needyness.
You definitely over-interpreted all of her behaviour. Dancing and kissing does not mean that you have her and that she is a sure thing in any way. And what she said also did not mean that everything is over. She just expressed, how she felt in each moment. You shouldn't have deleted her so soon.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-07-30T12:34:38+00:00

Are you ready for the hard truth? Let's see.... you were kissing her (first time)....she went to the bathroom, came back and kissed you again (second time) and then she offered you her cheek (third time). Based on your account she didn't enjoy your over exuberance?

Never make out with a woman you want to sleep with, but haven't yet. (Read that again if you ever wish to have sex). It's a situation that men have not and will not master unless they are the world's best kisser and that will never happen because every woman desires being kissed a different way.

A kiss is the preview to your skills in the bedroom. Resist the urge to make out. You're not in high school anymore. From now on you live in the land of "push/pull". Pull her in for a kiss but lightly bite & suck on her bottom lip then push her away LEAVING HER WANTING MORE.

This is what separates the men from the boys! Men: know they are going to have sex and aren't in a hurry to get as many kisses as humanly possible before she ditches them and runs away. Boys: makeout as if it's the last time they will ever get to kiss a girl and fail to increase her buying temperature. 100% of your kisses aren't amazing and can only throw cold water on her fire for you.

This is tough for touch-starved dudes. You have to bypass the sweet temptation for the bigger prize (dopamine restraint). You must become a master of this; it's like edging. You build up the tension and then stop, build tension then stop again. You don't make love to her face.

You want to get her so worked up she has no choice but to try and ravage you and you become the "brakes". "Not here, not yet, soon baby"... then keep amplifying her buying temp. "God! You're getting me so turned on!" Then turn around in her face and walk away -to the bar, the bathroom- (pull/push).

This engages her emotionally. (Why did he do that!?! Got me all turned on then walked away!?! God! I want him!) Push/pull doesn't end until orgasm, then it soon starts all over again.

The buildup to sex is often more pleasurable for women than actual sex because men do not engage in foreplay. Foreplay engages her mind first, her body second. If you can get her to make love to you in her mind her body will follow. If you don't know how to create foreplay with her mind you have a lot of work to do still.

bcool_returns · 2022-07-30T12:58:29+00:00

You didn't take the interaction anywhere, dude. Guy A is there kissing her all night, giving the game away, passively waiting for her do to do something rather than being a leader. Guy B goes in for initial kiss, then maybe next time comes in close to create tension and then pulls away, starts talking about a more quiet place to go, and then leads her back to his place within 45 minutes to 1hr of meeting. You kept seeing "kiss me eyes" but couldn't think beyond the confines of the club to understand those were likely "f me" eyes. What you set up is what you need to pay off. You promised adventure, but did not deliver.

TiNyUzi · 2022-07-30T10:50:16+00:00

Bad breath? Idk man don’t over think it.

TelephoneMediocre721 · 2022-07-30T09:08:36+00:00

Well there are some bipolar people out there

MywarUK · 2022-07-30T10:01:47+00:00

Ah, seems this is your 1st encounter of “what the fuck just happened!”.

Step 1. Do not blame your self.
Step 2. Do not blame your self.
Step 3 & is important. DO NOT blame your self.

funkmaster322 · 2022-07-30T09:31:10+00:00

She was just being nice. You read her wrong. The "insane chemistry" was just an artefact of your own imagination.

MywarUK · 2022-07-30T10:03:37+00:00

Also, women tend to go to the “Toilet” to message other guys, there is a chance someone else was doing something better than where she was. Again, not your fault, its the shitty side of dating apps.

megainculu · 2022-07-30T06:13:07+00:00

I think you don't need to worry about anything. She's just offering some resistance to throw you off your game and to indicate you that's she is not an "easy" girl.

Girls try to test guys to know how far are they willing to go for her. These are called "shit test".

Just ask her out again after 2-3 days and till then don't try to contact her and be busy with your own life. Happy hunting😉

Horror_Replacement39 · 2022-07-30T09:25:50+00:00

She was just testing you to see if you could tell the difference between words and body language.

Women do it all the time to see who’s fuck able.

You failed. Hahaha

Professional_Base117 · 2022-07-30T12:31:14+00:00

Move on.Next time, have like 5 backups. Choose the one that chooses you.

ExpensiveNinja · 2022-07-30T16:51:49+00:00

She was likely going to the bathroom to do coke. She may not have been into the kissing and wanted to abruptly leave to get off with her usual f buddy. Coke tends to make people extremely horny.

Dizzy-Job-2322 · 2022-07-30T08:20:18+00:00

Did you get express consent when you held her hand then leaned in and kissed? How about the second passionate kiss? Did you give your consent for her to stick her younger down your throat?

I have had dates like that.

wastingtoomuchthyme · 2022-07-30T11:48:42+00:00

"She kept going to the bathroom"

With her phone.. texting someone else.. girl. Guy. Bf. Husband. Wife..

You never know... But the immediacy of her departure is telling.

incognito3107 · 2022-07-30T12:12:11+00:00

Maybe she was expecting you to go further with her, as you have already reached kissing base pretty quickly. Repetitive kissing could made her bored and dropped excitement.

whiplash81 · 2022-07-30T13:46:32+00:00

She was sexually attracted to you, but not emotionally attracted to you. You probably escalated too quickly.

Next time, try push/pull

FlatDistance5 · 2022-07-30T14:06:08+00:00

If she was that interested why not skip the club and invite her straight over for drinks?

Rebombastro · 2022-07-30T15:37:22+00:00

You didn't take her home and instead tried to escalate on the dance floor, that's what happened. It was a waste of time for her. If a girl heavily compliments you, doesn't reject any kino, gives you the look and literally shoves her tongue down your throat, she wants to fuck and not just kiss.

Her going to the bathroom was probably her texting a guy who's dtf. You got her horny but she needed another dude to finish the job. I can't imagine her going home doing nothing the rest of the night and you're certainly not her only option.

Tl:dr: You should have just taken her home instead of continuously making out with her

FlavoredButtHair · 2022-07-30T15:40:25+00:00

Sometimes women be like that. Just have to move on and find someone better.

ChiraqGorilla24 · 2022-07-30T15:51:24+00:00

You did nothing wrong, women are fickle. Fish will swim.

WastedMyTime · 2022-07-30T16:50:24+00:00

You suck at kissing mate.

Tahjeem420 · 2022-07-30T16:57:06+00:00

We live in weird times friend.

Title	What did I do wrong?
Author	jtaylor27141
Upvotes	84
Comments	169
Date	July 30, 2022 5:49 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wbq6c7/what_did_i_do_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-did-i-do-wrong.1253261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253261

Comments