Why I hate clubs

RichieFinn · 2014-11-19T11:53:48+00:00

You should go in with the attitude that you are just there to have fun and you aren't going to get with any girls.....those are the nights i have the most fun....

buddhato · 2014-11-19T13:51:15+00:00

Clubs are pretty primal bro

I_SLAM_SMEGMA · 2014-11-19T14:18:15+00:00

You are telling me you can't go to a club and have fun?

I mean yea dudes I'm down with getting as many lays as the next.. But sometimes I go to a club and I feel like the vibe is just awkward as fuck. Dudes only show up to stalk out a girl and then proceed in the end getting turned down or actually succeeding.

Which is fucking awesome hell yea bro!

But I feel like some people, especially people in my group, lost the whole memory of how fucking fun getting drunk and just jumping and dancing around to music for a few hours can be.

It's now.. "no homie, this bar is dry."

Or

"no fool that beezy said blah blah blah"

Or

"hey I'll catch you up tomorrow morning" which is awesome.

But sometimes going to clubs isn't ONLY about trying to get that girl. There are so many others firstly and secondly, getting a girl isn't fucking required to have a great night.

the-ginger-one · 2014-11-19T12:25:31+00:00

Advice a cousin gave me was "Go in to make a name for yourself". Screw girls, be that guy everyone in the club knows. If you don't get on with some people, fuck 'em.

Girls will come later. Focus on your night.

nobody2000 · 2014-11-19T19:10:58+00:00

I hate clubs because I just can't have fun.

I hate the music
I hate that it's crowded
I hate the fact that you can't hear anyone talk

But that's okay. You don't have to like clubs. You should be going to places where you can have fun. You're your own man, and you should be going out where you can have fun, memorable nights. If you're visibly having fun, you're probably displaying value through confidence and through not giving any fucks. When this happens, approaching becomes easy. When this happens, you can achieve success!

Midnight_in_Seattle · 2014-11-19T16:24:24+00:00

Clubs are neither good nor bad but you have to understand how they work. If you don't understand how they work, you really will hate them. If you do, you might not.

Incidentally I don't like clubs either, but not for the reason you describe.

nathand50444 · 2014-11-19T13:52:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Mouthpiece · 2014-11-19T15:54:18+00:00

Good reason.

So where do you meet your girls?

SexySmexxy · 2014-11-19T18:17:26+00:00

all the girls are already on a pedestal

Only if you put them there.

TheoColt · 2014-11-19T22:18:59+00:00

Tell them to stop dancing on the pedestals. It's unsafe, for one. They really need to get down from there.

Radicalmattitude1 · 2014-11-20T05:21:33+00:00

Yea and thats the challenge you have to overcome should you choose to accept it soldier!

I think of a club like a stripped-down, bare bones version of real life human interaction. If you take away all the bullshit that comes along with an "appropriate workplace environment" or the monotonous drag of everyday chores like the supermarket or whatever, you are left with the purest form of gender interaction. Through some drinks into the mix and let people "socialize"--you have yourself a natural evolution of social hierarchy in a free country.

A hot girl is a commodity in a club -- all the guys want her, and all the girls want to be her. Everyone wants to be around her and get her attention. So yea, naturally the hot girls are put on a pedestal and they know it. After getting blatantly hit on by 4 or 5 losers, she is going to give the cold shoulder to the next dude who doesn't catch her attention in the first 2 seconds. She night even believe that shes too hot for everyone there.

Your job, as an attractive man, is to blow that notion right out of her head and show her that you are the hottest thing to walk in the door. You have to bring more social value to the table than even she brings. Like it or not, this is how humans operate.

There are two beautiful things about this reality. Firstly, once she realizes that you aren't another drunk dork with no social skills trying to get lucky to impress his friends, you have a free ticket to be part of her social aristocracy. Even if she doesnt want to hook up, she will look favourable upon you and instantly sky rocket your social value -- which basically gives you a shoe in for any other girls who ARE in fact open to hooking up/meeting somone ect.

The second sweet thing about club game, is that once you learn to conquer a dance club babe, achieving social status and gaming outside of the club will seem like a peace of cake. Day game, social circle game (or whatever you want to call it) is immutably linked to a club game. The club involves a very sexual, extroverted side on the spectrum of game, where outside the club involves other things -- they're both the same game.

Personally, Im not a huge fan of clubs either (unless Im really wasted, with some really good mates, or they're playing some of my favorite music) But I appreciate club game because it doesn't allow room for excuses. You're simply having an "on" night, or you're simply not going to get anywhere. The margin for error is miniscule and as you teeter-totter between success and failure, you will find a perfect place to hone your skills and learn from your mistakes!

mostlyidontcare · 2014-11-19T14:36:28+00:00

It's always a bad idea to generalize. With that attitude you're not gonna have any luck, try go in assume everyone is into you until they tell you otherwise. And don't buy them free drinks, if they want some then say 'well you pay the first round I'll take care of the second'...

skotch93 · 2014-11-19T14:41:41+00:00

If you go in with the intention to have fun and meet new people (both men and women) you will have a good time. If you enter the club with the pressure that you MUST pull a girl otherwise it will be a shit night then most probably you won't have fun no. Just let loose and socialise and soon enough the girls will be wondering who this guy (you) is.

Do you have a drink or two while in the club?

Crimson342 · 2014-11-19T16:03:54+00:00

You and I hate clubs for completely different reasons. I just hate the atmosphere. I was a metal head growing up, local and big concerts were great, it was like clubs for metal heads. There were plenty of girls there, but I was there for the music, the fun, the friends, the "moment".

If you go into the club, go in for reasons you actually like. If you aren't into the clubs, try pubs, bars, concerts, art shows, comedy clubs, whatever. I am a horrible PUA, if anything, I'm a AFC. Except I'm not frustrated, I go out to wherever I want and I just have fun.

Clyde_Frag · 2014-11-19T15:12:04+00:00

Night game is the hardest type of game. Also the most superficial.

izzyjake · 2014-11-19T20:33:45+00:00

I totally agree with you OP. I find that in clubs, your value is automatically lowered because girls have so much demand for that night, and unless you're 6'2 and shredded it takes solid game to attract a hottie.

I typically stay away from clubs unless I know I'm just going to have fun with friends and dance.

TissueReligion · 2014-11-19T15:17:11+00:00

Why aren't you on a pedestal too?

tonylstewart · 2014-11-19T17:55:37+00:00

Depends what type of club you go to. If you go to a VIP club that sells bottles and tables you're going to get mostly women who like guys with high status and money. Those VIP guys buying tables and bottles bring in most of the revenue to the club so the atmosphere caters to them.

Find smaller clubs without a big emphasis on VIP customers or stick to bars and pubs. I always have more fun bar/pub hopping.

crowstep · 2014-11-19T23:21:15+00:00

Learn to dance, it makes it much more fun even if you're not hitting on any girls, and you'll get more positive attention because you can actually move.

InnerZerg · 2014-11-19T17:13:08+00:00

Clubs are for fun, just enjoy enviroment and people. Been there, tried to hook 10 girls at one night, zero luck, was having bad time approaching after, but who cares? Came even stronger, yet I won't game in clubs anymore unless I really feel like it, now Im starting to daygame and will go to clubs with chicks if I get to know them :) Those are my plans.

heyyou11 · 2014-11-19T18:05:15+00:00

All the "just have fun" comments are correct, but semi-forget the subreddit's point. Yes DGAF gives you a better chance than being one of the prowlers, but find a happy medium. Attempt the approach without depending on it.

evergonitenitenigga · 2014-11-19T20:13:26+00:00

in their mind sure yes. but its totally up to you how you frame everything. club scene probably accounts about 2/3rds of my one night stands. so I don't hate clubs, but I don't love it either. I go in there to enjoy myself.

fisted___sister · 2014-11-19T20:24:03+00:00

Our dicks put them there.

Sock_Puppet_Orgy · 2014-11-19T20:58:02+00:00

The dislike of clubs is probably a difference in personality. I don't like clubs because I don't like to dance, I don't like pop music, I don't like looking stupid, and I don't like the concept of buying drinks for girls. Some of these are most certainly personal faults, and I'm trying to work on it, but I can't entirely change who I am.

The advice here that recommends focusing on having fun and not on getting the girl is helpful, but only if you like going to clubs and can have fun in them. If that is not possible, just don't go. It's more trouble than it's worth to force yourself to have fun, when you could actually be having fun elsewhere. Unfortunately for me, my college social scene revolves around one dingy, downtown club, so I often have no other choice.

wakenbake7 · 2014-11-19T21:09:26+00:00

this kind of seems like some red pill shit, dancing is a great way to find out if you are sexually compatible with someone. but you should always be in a situation you can be comfortable if you want to have the best chances.

StMichaeI · 2014-11-19T22:10:18+00:00

I hate them because they're usually so loud I can't even order a drink, much less strike up a conversation.

Kitad · 2014-11-20T00:10:48+00:00

This is true but it is also the reason why it's so fun to "switch the script" and make them chase you. Since every guy will be going up to beautiful girls with either a lame attempt to get to her level or a dumb aggresive move, if you approach in a strong but non-needy way then girls will be shocked in a positive way. The most ridiculous you can be in this situation, the better. Play around with it, go up to girls dancing and go "my mom will ground me if I fail at this" then see her WTF reaction and proceed from there.

In contrast, if you get too ridiculous during day-game then it may come off as just weird for the sake of being weird. And I like ridiculous shit

AbundyFtw · 2014-11-20T01:43:29+00:00

Some people just don't like clubs and some other people will just not understand how that can be.

If you are introverted or just don't like huge crowds/loud music/dancing then you will have trouble attracting girls in a club, because it just is not your environment;your not really comfortable,you don't have much fun if you are not drunk as hell... and attempting to change that would require far more effort than just looking for girls elsewhere.

Just do something different and be happy with what you're doing.

2014-11-20T08:54:47+00:00

This is why, I take girls to the club.

franklyforthright · 2014-11-20T12:14:28+00:00

Because you're still putting them there OP

jacks_not_surprised · 2014-11-19T15:43:03+00:00

O.o

A girl is on a pedestal if you put her there. So it's up to you man.

destroidid · 2014-11-19T17:34:39+00:00

Before I learned about Seddit, I've hated the fact that people put girls on pedestals. Actually, all my life I've hated how people put anyone on pedestals. This makes is hard for me to get into clubbing, but at the same time I don't really go clubbing for those reasons. I go there to drink and have fun, the girls are a side.

I think that's the kind of mentality that you have to go with to have the most fun at clubs: just go to have fun. I mostly go to EDM concerts and have only gone to a couple of clubs, but from my experience, the guy who just goes solely for the girls end up being looked at like a creep and/or has a disappointing night full of just rejections. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad to pick up girls and dance with them at clubs (I've done the same) but people who come with that mentality stick out like a sore thumb, and it kind of throws the vibe off of some people.

A lot of these people with this mentality that I observe creepily stare at girls for extended (sometimes very extended) periods of time and go straight to trying to grind with them (read: initiating by sticking his crotch on her ass without even talking to her, or her even seeing him). I don't think I've actually seen this as a successful move, but like I said I've only been to two clubs (one of them I go to all the time, but you end up seeing the same crowd) so some of you might be able to say this works in other places. The people who go to have fun initiate the girls in a playful way, or just goes up to talk to them and asks them to dance. This way is the most successful I've seen, from what I've observed.

I ended up ranting a lot longer about this than I expected to, but the gist of this is that if you go only to try and pick up girls and put them on a pedestal, you'll stick out like a sore thumb and it will creep the fuck out of both girls and guys. And yes, I agree that it's annoying too. The more successful mentality that I've figured out is if you go there just to have fun. It's pretty generic advice, but the vibe you (or anyone) give off with that mentality will be noticeably different and you'll certainly look more approachable than the guy who's stalking girls in a club.

Title	Why I hate clubs
Author	1vibe
Upvotes	169
Comments	141
Date	November 19, 2014 10:52 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2mrep9/why_i_hate_clubs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-i-hate-clubs.1379856 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379856

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