Why is cold approach so addictive?

PossibilityNo8765 · 2024-05-31T15:47:48+00:00

This is the first time I've ever heard a man say this. The majority of men don't cold approach. It's a minority for sure

No-Preference8767 · 2024-05-31T17:51:05+00:00

Because cold approach has a variable reward schedule and variable reward schedules are addictive

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-31T14:00:16+00:00

What problem are we solving here?

Keniath · 2024-06-01T10:01:15+00:00

my theory : because the "hunt" is a primal male instinct and the high reward of success after trying something thats actually not easy makes it even more rewarding and gives you a dopamine kick, same as every addiction. the hard part for men who are successful in cold approach is to stop it because they have a feel similar to withdrawal, i had a very hard time also when i got in a serious relationship and still have the urge to go "hunting" from time to time but each time i tell to myself that in the long run cold approaching doesnt give you anything at all other than loneliness and feeling empty. sleeping around with random women is just a temporary bad solution filling a missing gap

Velvettouch89 · 2024-06-02T15:04:43+00:00

Yes, it's very addicting. It got so bad for me that I was cold approaching every day, no matter the scenario. At funerals, at work, at a wedding. I had this incessant urge to approach every beautiful woman I saw, even if I was talking to one, I would mentally map where they went so I could talk to them after I finished with the current one. There were timss when I couldn't approach in 3 seconds and would become obsessed, such as on a date with another woman. I started to feel inadequate, like I wasn't being true to myself and I was missing out. I would hit on my friends girls when they showed up at college or at parties etc. I started losing friends when they started talking to each other about me and ostracizing me. That's when I quit sarging and Pickup entirely. I was becoming obsessed and people where starting to notice. I asked myself, why can't I just have female friends? Why do I have to try to sleep with everyone? One day I found out Style wrote another book, one about love and relationships. He told the story of him and his wife and how they almost got a divorce. His thinking was similar to something I had, he missed the game, he questioned his choice of marriage, he missed sarging. Totally what I went through and to have the man tell the dark side of Seduction was very refreshing and relatable.

It is addicting; you have all this power, like a legit superpower, and you want to use it. You know you can get any woman you want. You want to show off, prove to your friends you can bag the hottest girl in the bar, in the class room, in the office... You start to up the anti, you try to seduce people in front of their boyfriend's/husbands. You keep looking to increase the challenge. Trying to sleep with your married boss... I almost got shot at a co-workers house for trying to sleep with his wife after the Superbowl (we had already slept together at this point multiple times). Her and I were sexting and I said "What if I showed up at your house right now?" And she said she would do yada yada to me and I did show up. I was in her barn (she had a big property) and told her to come join me. She doesn't believe me, then her husband came home and came back to the barn to look at their canned peppers they were doing. I hid behind the door and ran out and he caught a glimpse of me and chased me down. He jumped on a bicycle, caught up to me and jumped on me and held me down. Their property was on a corner lot and my car was parked down the road. Cars were passing and he yelled "Call the cops! I just caught this guy in my barn!" I was charged with burglary and attempted robbery and I had to hire a lawyer to show my text messages to the judge showing that I was invited and the wife knew I was there so it wasn't burglary and there was no robbery intended, just a rendezvous. Charges were dropped, and to this day the husband messages me on Facebook and Instagram asking if I want to f*** his wife, why was I in his barn, how many times did I sleep with her etc. One time sent me a video of her dancing and asked if I missed her. I totally messed with that guys head and looking back, (since here in Florida) he had every right to shoot me and I'm very lucky to be alive. I messed up this guy and he didn't deserve it, he was happily married and I went in and gave him something he didn't deserve.

Altec5499 · 2024-05-31T21:25:34+00:00

I feel the same way about this. Even being out of the game for 2 years after meeting my girlfriend, I think about it everyday. Fortunately, I’ve been able to compartmentalize it. The rollercoaster is fun but as I’ve matured I’ve realized that I can use the adrenaline dump that I would get with women and push it into other areas in my life. Because of this, I’m not a slave to the game, but a player who has moved on to the next mission.

hairlx · 2024-06-01T13:25:04+00:00

Its not funny when you are living in a non developed country and woman arent friendly

GarlicTraditional227 · 2024-06-01T02:36:23+00:00

Sometimes it was the adrenaline for me mixed with the sexual tension. The uncertainty, but rolling the dice anyways.

thatwabba · 2024-05-31T15:22:07+00:00

I’ve noticed the same. Didn’t quite see it as a problem until I really started hurting myself by letting people close to me down.

I guess it’s our human nature. It’s like the "mushroom hunting fever." - the feeling of excitement and compulsion to keep searching for more mushrooms (women) driven by the thrill of discovery and success. This trait in us humans is what made us survive, as we didn’t give up and continued searching for food. Today we just continue scrolling our apps instead though, or like in this case, cold approach.

It could also be “the hedonic treadmill” - the tendency to pursue one pleasure after another, that's because the surge of happiness that's felt after a positive event (successful cold approach) is likely to return to a steady personal baseline over time (if it turns into a relationship etc).

Ruebentheiii · 2024-06-01T00:20:41+00:00

It's those damn endorphins! People are addicted to the new relationship endorphins that feel so euphoric. Then they wear off and the more you repeat the cycle, the sooner they wear off.

ThrowawayBizAccount · 2024-06-01T06:46:09+00:00

It’s not

2024-06-01T00:47:16+00:00

Even after +1000 approaches, I am still not addicted to the cold approach : /

pascal1best · 2024-05-31T14:34:16+00:00

Where are you favorite spots for approaching? Have you seen any of the ones you've previously approached and how was the reaction?

Lord_Asmodeus93 · 2024-05-31T20:53:04+00:00

It's because you gain validation and feedback from it. It's positively reinforcing you to make more approaches, to get even more validation from the "forbidden fruit" that is women's attention, and sometimes even affection. It feels good. The thrill gives you dopamine, not unlike any other addiction, and then when out of it, you want more of it. And what better way to get it, than to practice the same thing that gave it to you in the first place?

jjboy91 · 2024-05-31T18:46:38+00:00

It's superficial, I don't see the appeal tbh

ParticularHat2060 · 2024-05-31T22:56:47+00:00

OP how do you just cut to move on to the next girl? What do you tell them?

GOVERNORSUIT · 2024-06-04T19:47:57+00:00

actually l know a bunch of guys who used to cold approach but stopped because they were either getting no results, or females were being aggressive towards them

grate314 · 2024-06-01T11:17:46+00:00

Yes! I find when I cold approach, my brain gets this big ol' dump of chemicals. It's like a heightened reality, anything can happen. It's a rush, dude. Glad to hear I'm not the only one.

https://youtu.be/ElC7-v6UTms?feature=shared

Irachar · 2024-06-01T14:23:52+00:00

I'm in the way to get better in cold approach and when I have a day when I approached well and I had a good interaction I get into that STATE of confidence and good vibes that is an explosion of dopamine and energy, and I WANT MORE. When you know that you can be totally ALONE and you can CREATE that incredible moments with attractive women and that you can get them easily attracted... wow man, how many billionaires would pay BILLIONS to have that skill? A LOT.

So I hope I can reach your level, I have friends doing cold approach that are in your level, they can't stop doing cold approach and with years of practice they are still surprised of different kind of situations doing it.

brandonmadeit · 2024-05-31T15:10:17+00:00

The pursuit of happiness.

shumasannin · 2024-05-31T15:52:18+00:00

You just answered it--the feeling of excitement. So, whatever benefit you're getting out of doing it, that's the reason why you get addicted.

Same with people hitting the gym every day.

cemj86 · 2024-06-01T04:07:19+00:00

Because you finally decided to not lose in life. It's exciting because it's new to you. It never fully goes away. When I was in my teens its just as exciting as it is in your mind 30s

It's what you're supposed to do, us Men hunt. Be grateful you're not a pussy anymore most men today will never know how easy it is just to talk to a girl but hey not everyone gets to win.

average_turanist · 2024-05-31T22:19:35+00:00

Can you give us some tips mate. I never tried this tbh. Do you just approach and say hi?

emirsolinno · 2024-06-01T13:13:32+00:00

Can we be friends? Lol

vengence10 · 2024-06-01T14:04:35+00:00

Guys who have moderate success in cold approach: how long did it take you to get there and what is your hit/miss ratio nowadays?

wolf_ricky · 2024-06-02T04:20:09+00:00

We’re social animals bruh

sleepypabs · 2024-06-02T06:19:26+00:00

As Milan Kundera once put it, it is the Golden Apple of Eternal Desire. The thrill of the hunt.

Western-Pop-5172 · 2024-06-02T13:07:39+00:00

Sometimes when i feel lonely there is an urge to call every girl i know. i guess that the same

2024-06-03T01:50:53+00:00

Feels like McDonald’s but taste good as a result

2024-06-03T14:54:44+00:00

It's exciting with nothing but upsides to it.

I went from basically an insel to happy, well adjusted dude now.

I still love it and want to keep doing it.

FatherHawkColdApprch · 2024-06-04T00:29:55+00:00

Compulsive approaching normally indicates what kind of quality you're getting. Are you getting close to the quality of girl you want or are you just running through mids?

UpskirtThrowaway123 · 2024-10-09T05:58:55+00:00

im also addicted :/

ASG77 · 2024-05-31T18:44:23+00:00

Because it develops your mindset like nothing else

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-05-31T20:48:06+00:00

The same reason why all of seduction is addictive, my dude.

Being desired is the greatest high there is.

epimpstyle · 2024-05-31T19:51:06+00:00

I swear even if I had all the money and girls in the world I'd still be out in the streets hustling.

No, you won't! As soon as you have a girlfriend that you like, you will stop doing this.

rjones416 · 2024-06-01T05:54:21+00:00

This guy loves the game.

Equal_Ocelot_6901 · 2024-06-01T05:41:19+00:00

Are there any rules for this? I started with doing cold apporaches and some work Some fail miserably

dromance · 2024-06-01T11:22:04+00:00

Because the validation you get from approaching random girls/strangers makes you feel better about yourself

seddit_seddit · 2024-05-31T14:37:28+00:00

Read early chapters from "Daygame Infinite".

tyYdraniu · 2024-05-31T21:32:18+00:00

The adrenaline boy

Atriev · 2024-06-01T00:22:02+00:00

Agreed. It’s tough and for me, I just had to stop talking to girls altogether because I’m in a committed relationship. I can’t turn it off.

videogames_ · 2024-06-01T05:15:37+00:00

Adrenaline rush and you have some control compared to dating apps.

abandonliberty · 2024-05-31T20:32:46+00:00

It's just like cold showers, exercise, skydiving. Relatively healthy way to get dopamine.

Rebel-Alliance · 2024-06-01T06:40:59+00:00

I could not give it up. I tried a LTR but couldn’t hack monogamy. I love cold approach & all game. Once one has seen the other side, there is no going back.

2024-06-01T08:12:08+00:00

I do assume you love roller coasters. It’s the same feeling! When you cold approach a 10, you get a thrill of fear that turns into excitement. There is a reason why people queue in 2 hour lines for a 2 minute ride. But with cold approaching the wait time is way shorter so you get multiple trials

Title	Why is cold approach so addictive?
Author	ohropax
Upvotes	380
Comments	112
Date	May 31, 2024 1:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d4w360/why_is_cold_approach_so_addictive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-cold-approach-so-addictive.1520142 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520142

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