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Going_to_hell123
[–]Conformist5589 64 points65 points66 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You’re not nice, you’re spineless.
[–]Casanova-Quinn 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Similarly, "nice" doesn't count for much if that's all you're capable of. A strong man (physically and mentally) is respected for being nice, because he chooses kindness over violence. A weak man is not respected for being nice, because he has to be nice, he's not capable of violence.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯
[–][deleted] 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The statement don't be a nice guy is honestly worded wrong and guys take it wrong and assume be an ass. What it actually means is don't kiss her ass and please her cause you want her. That looks desperate and unattractive. You want to have your own thoughts and opinions and well "be yourself".
Alot of girls wanna slob my knob because I do me while also being nice. It took a long time to get here, so definitely keep working on yourself.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So I actually said this in response to one of the replies in this thread, "be yourself" isn't bad advice. However the complete sentence, should be "know who you are and be that unapologetically"
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes be yourself also needs clarity lol.
[–]18cmOfGreatness 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The thing is, there're different ways to be an ass. You can tease girls very hard, making fun of them in a very offensive way, and they would still forgive you everything as long as you're doing it for FUN, not to compensate for your low self-esteem. Assholes get girls, that's a fact, but not all types of assholes. Those assholes that consider women "below their league", those that treat hotties like they are fatties, those that think that women should work to deserve them, all those assholes get girls. And they can even treat women well, they can be gentle and caring, they just don't consider women as their equals. At least not until there's a girl that deserves it.
And then there are other types of assholes, those that think that all women are bitches, those that try to humiliate women and prove that they are better while not even believing in this, in other words those that have negative feelings towards women. The difference here is that you can consider someone to be below you in status (like your subordinate, younger sibling, kid, or even pet) while treating them with care and love, perhaps you won't treat them seriously and won't care what they think, but you won't try to be too mean to them on purpose, either. In fact, because you consider them weaker than you physically and mentally, you'll feel desire to protect them. And that's what makes women tick when it comes to assholes. Assholes can look down on women and tease them hard, but they don't hate women in general, at least not those among them who get laid.
[–]testfreak377 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So basically if you want to get laid, you should have a sexual vibe from the beginning. Which would be genuine
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not necessarily sexual but one that makes it clear you're interested, she can't friendzone you if you make it clear from the jump
[–]testfreak377 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see
[–]TuckerTheCuckFucker 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She also can’t friend zone you if you simply never agree to be in the friendzone in the first place.
When a woman brings this up, just say:
“Look I’m way too attracted to you to just be your friend but no hard feelings. Lmk if you change your mind”
And end the convo
About 50% of the time, they hmu later asking if we can go on a date
The other 50%?
Who cares
[–]Mc_Dickles 44 points45 points46 points 3 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Definitely gotta remind myself this sometimes and remember my intentions. Just recently I had this situation with a girl that frustrated me that I feel touches this subject.
We made plans a week ago to go check out this bar. I text her the day of and she responds back that she just had a “random dick appointment.” I was caught off guard and kinda upset that she would say that to me, but I tried to keep it chill and flirt since I assumed my chances were down to zero now with her since she’s already having her needs met.
“Damn couldn’t wait for me?”
“What do you mean? Did you think we were gonna fuck? No sorry I wasn’t looking for that.”
“Okay, well are you still headed to the bar?”
And she left me on seen. From there I just unfollowed her and cut my ties. We shared a couple of laughs together online as internet friends but when I try to escalate with a meetup, I guess it was my fault I didn’t make it clear? Either way there’s two sides to the story. She probably thinks I’m a salty ass who didn’t get sex and so I ran, while my self-worth says I’m worthy of a heads up on a plan cancellation. She didn’t bother to let me know of her change of plans and was I’m sure planning on ghosting me that day with no warning until I messaged her.
[–]Vangelis76 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I'm still a little surprised that so many women assume that guys just want to be platonic friends with them. Unless the dude is gay or they've known eachother for a long time and started as friends and etc.
[–]AngeloMacon 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
They're not surprised. They know.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 40 points41 points42 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They definitely know, they just don't acknowledge it cause they're not interested.
[–]Vangelis76 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense.
[–]Kundalini-Electric 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And yet if a guys not interested in her she’ll assume he’s gay
[–]AngeloMacon -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is cope.
[–]Kundalini-Electric 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I get that but some Women can be really spiteful.
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And some men can really hold grudges
[–]Vangelis76 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My coworker lost her husband from cancer and just 1 month after, his best friend started reaching out to her in the name of providing comfort. He'd send her flowers, would visit her and etc...
When i asked her if she knows about his intentions, she said just being friendly that's all and that they go way back. I told her no, he's planting his seeds. Well story short, didn't take too long to make a move on her and supposedly she didn't see that coming. Kind of think it's bs but what the heck.
[–]AngeloMacon 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Jesus dude, I'm generalizing. I know there's exceptions, especially on more extreme situations. Haha
[–]Vangelis76 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I know. I was just sharing a story that's all.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
She didn’t want u to begin with my guy. Learn how to read the room/body language to avoid these kinds situations in the future. Otherwise youmight get used or disrespected again.
[–]depth_charge_ 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly. I’ve never ever had a woman say that to me. I guess I know when to bail before that happens.
Still, I’m not the type of guy you say that to and I think they get that
[–]LadWithAHat_ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
dude rly is a loner
[–]ftdrain 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Next time just leave blatantly disrespectful messages on seen, you behaved like a full blown beta when you asked if she was still coming
[–]Mc_Dickles -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re right but I really only sent that text because I was 100% sure she was gonna leave me on seen and she proved me right. Gave me the perfect reasoning to cut her off as she basically showed her hand in not caring.
[–]TheFreakish 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Live and learn my dude. Next time you'll be better prepared.
[–]peduxe 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
your best answer is always indifference.
I got plenty of options so the fact she has a dick appointment and felt like saying that to me is meaningless. I don’t own her in any way.
Keep doing your thing like you always do and she’ll be on your knees when she wants her next dick appointment.
Dude, that chick is toxic, fuck what she thinks. She could have let you down nicely if she wasn't interested, she chose to be a dick, you can do better.
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 79 points80 points81 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
OP just silenced a bunch of unaware dudes about their strategies. Lightbulb moment.
[–]VivaciousFarter 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is what women have been saying about "nice guys" for over a decade, if not more. If you're nice up until the point that you get denied the juice, and then you flip. Well, you aren't actually a nice guy. You were just pretending to be nice to get laid. How it took r/seduction longer than anyone else to realize it is rather ironic.
Just be wholeheartedly genuine and yourself, don't change for anyone. If a situation like this arises, cut off the girl and don't bother any further. No point in arguing or having an emotional tantrum or anything like that.
Remain unbothered.
[–]TheFreakish -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay.. In my experience women don't "deny the juice", women almost never just say "sorry I'm not interested". I would respect that.
Women just treat you worse, and worse until you go away on your own. When that happens, I don't feel bad about them getting called out.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 30 points31 points32 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Honestly if that's your strategy, you might as well be wearing a padlock on your junk
[–]Great at coke approachSnooHesitations4922 28 points29 points30 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
In summary:
genuine=attractive
Fake=repulsive
It's beyond me how something this simple escapes so many...
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The advice, "just be yourself", honestly isn't absolutely bullshit, I just think it's incomplete. The full saying should be, "know who you are and be yourself unapologetically". I didn't fully realize it till I got to college and had a close friend that was nice. I mean genuinely nice, to both men and women and surprise surprise he used to get laid.
[–]TuckerTheCuckFucker 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
used to?
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well he's in a long term relationship not I meant he used to get laid a lot when he was single
[–]cronasminate 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because nothing is simple. People just want to oversimplify everything.
It's never as simple as being genuine or nice or being an asshole. For ever situation it depends is the most accurate answer. People just prefer to think there is a secret "simple" strategy as opposed to having to learn how to think for themselves and do their own studies to figure out their own problems.
[–]trippie-qc 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'd consider my self a nice guy. The difference is when a woman doesn't want me, if I genuinely liked her it wasn't for sex. I genuinely liked this chick I wasn't even thinking about sex. I liked her for her. But she broke it off and got back with one of her ex's. I've thought about being a asshole but I can't bring myself to because it isn't me. I've told my self to become toxic maybe I'd get more woman. But I just can't bring myself to do it because it isn't me.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How about instead of becoming an asshole or toxic you just stop being afraid to speak and be honest? Just stop being in your head so much and say exactly what you feel when you feel it or say whatever you want to say when you want to say it. You see a girl, she has a nice butt and you think it.. rather than just think it you can say something like, "those pants look really good on you" or something like that without sounding like a creep. She might get offended or she might say thank you. This is where someone like you would feel like the guy is being an a****** when really he's just saying what's on his mind... Respectfully. It's all about the delivery. You can basically get away with saying anything if you are confident
[–]trippie-qc 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the input I’ll have to give it a shot, like I said I’ve thought about becoming toxic but it isn’t me I’ve never been toxic and after me and a chick break it off I don’t become toxic towards her or other chicks I start talking to. But you make a valid point it’s all on delivery of how you say what’s on your mind.
[–]RedFlowerGreenCoffee 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Why do you think being toxic on purpose would ever help you
[–]UnparliamentaryTea 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not OC, but I think that it seems like guys who do play games and are direct about not wanting to be romantic or have that sort of relationship do tend to do better with women.
In reality, a lot of guys who do that do worse with women than one would otherwise think, and the perceived success mostly comes from their boundary setting when lots of guys would go with the flow and let things drag on
[–]RedFlowerGreenCoffee -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How do you even know which types of guys have more sex. The lying manipulative type could just be lying about how much sex they have to impress others.
[–]trippie-qc 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me it isn’t about the sex, I could careless if I get it. Like I said this chick I was talking to I like for her. Sex wasn’t on my mind thought I was doing good. I impressed her and her parents and within 2 days after we last hung out she broke it off and ended things. It was like hitting a switch. But I don’t care for sex I just want something long term.
[–]UnparliamentaryTea 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right, hence the second paragraph
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Let me ask you, how clear did you make it that you liked it? And how early? Women aren't always going to like you back, but it's better to tell them early
We had been talking for about a month or two. We both had really good communication she made it clear she liked me and I made it clear I liked her. But this is what I think she broke it off. We were at a truck meet with some of my buddies and a guy walked up that she knew, no big deal I thought. Well after that her text got really short with me. She then broke it off, said she just wanted to be friends, but she had told me 3 weeks prior that she wanted to be more than friends. Ok, so she breaks it off and we stop talking all of a sudden, the following weekend she was with said dude at a quad race. She told me she had church that weekend, well obviously not, so I’m thinking she used me to make said ex jealous and broke it off when he came back. But I could be wrong but off of my observations that’s what I think her intent was. Even tho she told me everything she did.
[–]Stirlingcoopercourse 22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Nice guys get laid, “nice guys” don’t. Let me explain.
“Nice guys” are self entitled manipulative sociopaths who try to guilt trip women into having sex with them. And when the woman declines the attempt, they get all angry and violent. They try to make themselves feel like the victim in the situation afterwards
Using and manipulating people in an attempt to make them have sex with you is not nice. So these guys are not nice guys they’re “nice guys”
Nice guys are strong, kind men that take care of the people they love. They treat everybody with respect and they know. They don’t use people just for sex.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly bro, I have a close friend that is nice. Like, actually nice and he has the hottest girlfriend out of the whole friend group
[–]TuckerTheCuckFucker -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
he has the hottest girlfriend out of the whole friend group
dope. she single?
[–]ftdrain 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sociopaths get laid a lot, nice guys arent sociopaths at all. Let's stop this sixth sense bullshit people like to spread about women, sociopaths are very successful, obviously people dont have as good of an instinct as they think they do.
[–]Stirlingcoopercourse 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The self proclaimed “nice guys” are sociopaths also. They are just not very good at getting women.
There are sociopaths who are good at getting women, they don’t use the “nice guy” way to get women. They have other methods of talking to women. Their methods are not as see-through as the “nice guy” sociopaths
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I understand the argument about being genuine and respectful to others and I totally agree.
But on ur point abt “using people for sex”, people hook up all the time and hook ups are literally just people using each other for sex. Hell a lot of people aren’t genuine and are just bad people yet they get laid every day. I think it all just comes down to social skills cuz the jocks and cheerleaders could be bitchy and douchey, but they still know how to talk to people.
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As a dude, these end up being the same guys that fuck over you or someone else in the social circle eventually.
[–]Stirlingcoopercourse 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Another red flag is if he acts different around women (for example he makes jokes at your expense 24/7. Tries to flex 24/7 etc.) that’s a sign you need to cut him off IMMEDIATELY!
[–]Artrock80 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tell her early if you’re interested!!! Don’t expect affection in exchange for good behavior.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, Those are two different things. If you're nice to a woman, you can expect her to be nice back. You can't expect her to suck your dick.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I am toxic af and i tell the girl from the first date. Funny thing is that they all stay with my ass🤣🤣
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And it works because you embrace who you are. I'm not even gonna lie, I'm a terrible person (hence my user name). I try to do good when I can but you'll never hear me calling myself a nice guy.
[–]TheFreakish 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then how do you know the nice guy thing doesn't work?
Because every day I see a "nice guy" posting about how women don't wanna have sex with him
[–]Tharrios1 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think youre making alot of assumptions about alot of guys. In my case, women dont owe me anything, I just want someone I can commit to and live a happy life with. Seemingly most women in my dating pool go for the same kind of guy. Im (hopefully) a nice guy, I have little to no game, and dating is a steep uphill battle for me. I dont hate women if they pick another guy over me, nor is the first thing on my mind sex when I meet a women. If anything, it makes me hate myself because im not desirable as a partner.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You've answered your own question though, you've said you have little to no game, so if you have to choose whether that's the reason you aren't into a relationship, vs you being a nice guy.
[–]Tharrios1 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I would say they correlate pretty significantly. I dont have "game" because im too "nice". "game" in the modern age is more so associated with guys that want a quick pump, or are just straight casual.
Telling a woman you want to keep things casual doesn't make you not a nice guy, he's just keeping it real. Which believe it or not women appreciate more than kindness
[–]islandofcaucasus 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Jesus christ thank you. I've never seen this sub be such a whiney bunch of incels until these nice guy posts lately.
Hint: if you're blaming women for you not getting laid, /r/seduction isn't going to help
The meaning of Seduction on Google is to entice someone to engage in sexual activities. It doesn't mean waiting around pretending to be nice hoping she throws her panties at you
[–]Huemanretreat4000 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being assertive is what gets you women. Being pleasant and cordial makes you a vibrant cool-cucumber capable of meeting people of different walks of life.
Being an asshole can get you murdered. Being a doormat can get you finessed. Be realistic, assertive and lead your way into the interaction.
I always flirt with women who show interests. Planting seeds in their head. Slight touches.
[–]ChaotixEDM 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The nice guy act is just pure manipulation. It's mostly guys who don't have a spine to say what they actually want so they soften women up with acts of chivalry as a bargaining tool. It's weak and women see straight through it.
Instead, be a stand up guy, that is direct with what you want.
[–]Okay_Time_For_Plan_B 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m also a “nice guy” who’s proved many times over and over than I’m not the type to take advantage of women for sex. Altho yes, when I do get with someone I’m I love with and attracted too deeply, I turn into a nymph I because I’m so insecure about myself I almost shut off that thought process of “could I sleep with?” If it goes that way cool if not no problem. I have more girl friends than guy friends, have turned down many many many smoking hot, sexy, drop dead gorgeous, attractive women. And I believe there are differences between all of them. But mainly because I grew up with only my mother and witnessed first hand how huge and accepted sexual harassment and the trauma and disgust men like to push off on women and the amount of shit women go thru, I almost feel like I would only be another man trying to simply get in her pants, so I make things about everything but that. And when it finally does come down to that, and she’s equally sexually active as me, because I’ve neglected that part of my brain that it becomes a hyperactive activity and it (in my experience ) has been a good thing.
So no, I haven’t slept with many women, no I haven’t gotten a lot of women I truly felt attracted too even mostly without a sexual desire. But the women I have been lucky to know genuine and deeply connected with, I’ve fucked them like rabbits and shared a bond that still (without sex) exists to this day .
I’ve had numerous experiences of women choosing to show up at my house or call me in a time of need drunk or not. To stay at my place or have me pick them up from a guys house who was creepy as fuck because my personality is stamped a good dude who is trusted and known to not be perverted or creepy in the most vulnerable stages of some women’s times of desperation and emotional roller coaster we call life.
But your assumption is very interesting and I do believe you are correct with many many many cases.
I’m a man, and I’ll say this myself. Not all, but a lot. Men are pigs.
I understand that, my post was in no way a generalisation, it was specifically referring to men that PRETEND to be nice. You seem like a genuinely good dude and that's something to be proud of
[–]AtDaLastMinute 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Are you me!?
[–]Okay_Time_For_Plan_B 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmfao Depends…… who am I? 🤨🧐
[–]Familyguy35689 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I feel like this generalizes that all men who are nice guys are just doing it for sex.
Yes, there are "nice guys" who are only nice because they want sex and then turn to assholes when they find out they won't get any.
But there IS also real nice guys out there, that are nice to everyone but the girl they are nice to think he's doing it for sex and thinks toxic dudes have more personality.
[–]AtDaLastMinute 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm a quality over quantity type of guy. If I connect with a nice/good woman, we both know we're going to have a good time. Inside or outside the bedroom. Too many guys want to sort of play the Drizella and Anastasia roll; forcing something that doesn't fit them.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Of course there are real nice guys, as I said, if you want to be nice, be nice, but only because that's what YOU want, not because you think it'll get you laid. I know a couple genuinely good guys (to both men and women) and they get laid, because even though they're nice, they make it clear when they're attracted to a woman. That's the main difference, whether you're fake nice or genuinely nice, you can't just sit around hoping she'll finally decide to get with you; what are you doing to make that happen?
[–]Familyguy35689 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are under the notion that nice guys are not direct. There are plenty of nice guys who are nice AND direct and state their intentions to the girl. The "You're too nice" has been used by some women to actually get away from good men who have stated their intentions. With that kind of misuse, it is easy to understand why some idiots think being assholes is the way to go.
[–]ChrisHansen6969 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can say one thing, and mean another. Even if you show "that I'm a nice guy" it doesn't mean that you genuinely are/feel that way. Your intentions show further than your words. Sometimes, it's a lot more obvious than you know, that your acting skills aren't very well.
[–]GotThaAcid5tab 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No way.. an accurate post on seddit
Look inward
[–]packethandler 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I read somewhere (maybe on Reddit itself) that women want a good guy not nice guy. Nice guy is just pretending to be one for the reasons OP posted. It’s not that they want assholes either. They would prefer a good guy with a spine over an asshole anytime.
Exactly!!
[–]MasterTeacher123 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If women were so good at noticing whether a guy just wants to smash they wouldn’t be crying all the time of getting pumped and dumped.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, they knew the guy wanted to smash, they just didn't know he wasn't planning on sticking around. They're not psychic.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
But that's not actually true, no woman is with an asshole specifically because he's an asshole, there's many reasons why she might be, for example abusive parents and a skewed belief understanding of love (of which there's not too much you can do about that). The point is, no woman will get with you specifically because you're an asshole and no woman will ignore you specifically because you're nice.
[–]Daygamesimplified 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bro this is 100% correct and the fact that no one likes this post proves everyone on here is clueless
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally man. You can't think women owe you sex, that's literally the whole reason why seduction exists. Anyway I'm glad you agree bro
[–]grindforthegold 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
can people stop with this nice guy shit its a huge fucking cope girls don’t care about nice or not nice they care about game and looks and there’s just a lot of good looking dudes with good game that are assholes and so when you see a girl be into them you assume that this is a thing and it’s just correlation
[–]vegeta1418 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice guys are taken advantage of a lot so it’s better to be a mix. Don’t take most women seriously.
[–]greenlight144000 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Do I really have to change to being an asshole?
[–]RedFlowerGreenCoffee 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its so funny that so many people are seeing this as the takeaway when the actual message of OP was “if you stop being nice the minute you don’t get your way, you were never really nice to begin with”
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No you don't, be whoever you want to be, as long as you're clear with women about what you want, it doesn't matter
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You could've just said state your intentions before hand and go from there.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I mean the point of the post was to explain why the nice guy thing doesn't work. But yes that's the general advice
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I agree with you. Most women find out in their teens that guys will do stuff for her just because she's a woman and they want a chance with her. This never works, obviously.
[–]playboiferina 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Stop being nice and start trying to get respect by getting want you want.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The whole point is you can do both. You can do nice things for women and still be clear about the fact that you are interested in them y
[–]playboiferina 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely, courting and being a gentleman while also knowing your worth should be the default.
[–]greenlight144000 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Even if you’re a genuine nice person women wouldn’t find that attractive and just friend zone you
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
She friendzoned you because you spent weeks giving her attention without making it clear what you want
[–]greenlight144000 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know how to do that lol
[–]ifionlyhadabrain0159 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Just tell them out right, and if they tell you they don't feel the same way, believe them and move on. It's never good or healthy to stay friends if one of you want more.
And I usually get the, "well some women want to play hard to get or want you to try harder" response when I give that answer. I've never met a woman (being a woman myself) who has ever wanted the guy to "try harder" but I do believe it happens since so many have said otherwise. So I'd like to add that do you really want that manipulative behavior in a partner because playing mental games like that doesn't come from mentally and emotionally stable people.
[–]greenlight144000 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just tell them directly I’m interested in a relationship?
[–]ifionlyhadabrain0159 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah pretty much. You can say something like, "I like you a lot (you could add a few things about them that you like as an example) and would like to pursue a relationship with you"
It's just as simple as that.
[–]greenlight144000 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay makes sense thanks
Wrong, sorry.
[–]Silver_Streak01 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take a bow, esteemed person.
[–]DirtyHonky 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Epic post.
[–]Environmental_Cress2 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
wym by women are good at noticing guys who want to sleep with them
you mean like every dude???
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Nah I mean their guy friends. They like to pretend they don't know because sometimes the attention is nice, but they can tell.
[–]Environmental_Cress2 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
this is where I’m confused
Hot chicks have to know that all guys wanna fuck them
So what’s the balance between the extreme “nice guy” friend who “doesn’t want to sleep with her” vs being the dude who says blantatly that he wants to fuck her (coming on too strong. Seems all about sex)
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah hot women know everyone wants to fuck them but it's different when you're their friend. The trick is to make it clear early on. Don't be blatant. Just tell her you find her attractive if she's not interested that's fine. If you enjoy her company, be friends, if not, move on
[–]Environmental_Cress2 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
tell her she’s attractive or show it through my body language??
[–]AtDaLastMinute 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Like literally tell her. Don't be scared. Get that feeling out of the way. If she feels the same, awesome! If she doesn't? Respectfully say you totally understand but that you just wanted to let her know and just move on nonchalantly.
[–]Environmental_Cress2 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think it’s better to show not tell. Right?? Like imagine someone telling you that you’re their crush vs making you feel like you are
You can do both, tell her with words and show her with your actions, as long as you respect if she's not interested.
[–]Think_History_5682 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women don't want nice they want assertive and dominant. Not a dick a leader.
[–]DeJuanBallard 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God I'm so sick of the bs lazy exscuse to keep going for dudes who are attractive enough to know they can fo better than you. Most men are extremely nice to women to the point where you can be so delusional and out of touch as to say this shit. We get it , the only male friendships you ever had eventually failed when the delusion that you were likeable got overshadowed by the reality that they wanted to fuck you.
Women say this shit because they have no idea how to maintain a relationship with a "nice guy", end up being shitty partners, and don't understand when the dude either 1. leaves, 2. gets upset, or 3. stops trying.
Being a nice guy is absolutely worth it if you can find a nice girl, but aside from that, when it comes to dating strong boundaries are necessary, or people will just leech off you. The sad part is strong boundaries make it harder to form connections. Catch 22.
I didn't start losing my temper on people until I got treated like shit repeatedly. Like.. I'd end things peacefully. Like if I got stood up, I'd just tell them I'm not about that.
But then the excuses come.
And they apologize.
And then I start feeling bad.
So I accept their apology.
...
And then they keep doing the same shit!
So I get fucking frustrated.
And then it's not one woman, it's multiple.
And then you start thinking "Why am I being nice to these people that treat me like trash".
IDK..
Just because I try to be kind doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Just because I'm willing to put myself out there doesn't mean I'm content being taken for granted. Eventually you have to put your foot down.
Just because you're a nice guy, doesn't mean you always have to be nice.
I feel bad for the women that think I do this for sex ... I'm better than that.
[–]MonchichiSalt -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Assholes are clear about what they want....and it's honest. The "nice guys" simp. We may suspect you want sex, or an actual relationship. However, the wish-washy interactions leave us not knowing. So you are side lined.
That said, when a real nice guy shows up, sure he will be friendly! He will also be very clear that he is into you. HONESTY. Relationships are not a middle school, passing notes that have check marks on "do you like me yes or no" written on them. Girls will always prefer men who are honest.
At least we know where we stand with the assholes.
You friend zoned yourself in a way.
Nice is great! Flirting with clear intention is what is noticed.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly, people think being "nice" means you can't declare your intentions and that's simply not true, friends should be friends and people you're interested in should be people you're interested in. That doesn't mean you can't be nice to both of them, you just have to be clear.
[–]MonchichiSalt 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
BINGO!!!!
A truly nice person is going to be nice to everyone. When a man is interested, and he is the same kind of nice that he is to everyone else we're around? How am I the one at fault when I did not know he was interested in me?
[–]Cantsleepperson -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Lesson learned. Next time I see my best female friend imma smack her on the ass and give her an ultimatum: “fuck me now or I ghost your slut ass”
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If that's your idea of being clear, this might be the wrong subreddit for you ngl
[–]Cantsleepperson 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
“Bitch, get in the kitchen!!!”
Try it in real life, I dare you
[–]Cantsleepperson 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok, I just PM’d you
[–]AtDaLastMinute 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
might work.
[–]learnbyrepetition -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so true that there’s a whole subreddit dedicated to it r/niceguys
[–]Yamochao -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mic drop
[–]Yamochao 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In short: Ask yourself if how you behave towards women would be worthy of a post to https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/
If yes, stop.
[–]itsonlybliss 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sucks that I’m naturally a kind dude.
No it doesn't bro. This whole post is about guys that pretend to be nice, but if you're genuinely a nice guy then that's something to be proud of and as long as you make yourself clear with women you'll do well
[–]ignitedwolf9200 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Plain and simple. Well said.
Thank you bro
[–]Sandvicheater 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Women don't want to fuck nice guys, they want to fuck good guys.
Exactly
[–]BRNKRST 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Well, it is not that i am mean to them but i do not trust any of them and put big boundaries on between us. Not tristing anything about them.
[–]Going_to_hell123[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What made you start doing that?
[–]BRNKRST 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The most basic context is that sweet foods do not mix well with spicy foods. They should not be mixed.
You let people into your life for their roles. At least that's what i learnt after a while. If they had a square role but then became a triangle, you remove and put boundaries between yourselves.
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that's the best way to look at it, whilst it is true that all friendships and relationships are based on certain things that one person gains from the other that fits their lifestyle (square piece as you said), however don't you think it's unfair to expect someone to fit a role without making it clear that that's what you wanted from them?
[–]Public-Buffalo87 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
r/niceguys
[–]vorter 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There’s two types of nice guys. The “Nice Guy” that is what this post is about and more commonly referred to. Then there’s regular nice guys that are far more common and are also unattractive simply because they come off as doormats, not confident, and unassertive.
Being nice is not sexually attractive, but rather platonically/generally attractive. In fact, being too nice is sexually repulsive. It’s not necessarily that being an asshole is sexually attractive, just that those guys tend to also have sexually attractive traits like confidence, assertiveness, not giving a fuck, and never prioritizing their girl over themselves.
It's a bit of a catch 22. Women don't go for assholes because they're assholes, just as they don't ignore nice guys because they're nice. I will concede that a lot of assholes have attractive traits like being rich or handsome (which is how they get away with being assholes). However, there are always going to be richer, better looking guys, so you gotta work with what you have. You're right, being a doormat is unattractive, women will respect you if you're nice but still have boundaries that you enforce ("I like you, but no, I'm not going to do that").
[–]Razzle2112 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I always tell the girl up front that I want her pussy. That way I dont appear manipulative. They already know if they are going to give it up to you. I think they decide if they are going to fuck you in the first 15 seconds or something like that.
Well, they decide if they WOULD fuck you in the first 15 seconds. Which is honestly the most important part. Whether they're GOING to fuck you, I believe, is a window that begins to close from the moment you introduce from the moment you say hi. That's why it's important to not waste time
[–]Significant_Swan_56 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’d rather be with someone who is upfront and true to themselves than a snake who only pretends to be close to me so that he can get what he wants. If you want something let it be known most girls find the honesty refreshing.
Exactly. There's no one I've ever been attracted to that I didn't make it clear to. We can still end up being good friends that never do anything sexual but it'll be no secret that I used to be interested in her.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you so much OP. Day by day with reading posts about this particular topic makes me realize why I was dumped by the girls I liked while they simped on the other guy who was not the "nice guy". All these years I knew I was being the "nice guy" on purpose but it had become such a bad habit that it was difficult to change myself even though I was seeing me getting dumped. I'm fed up of being the "nice guy" and getting treated like trash. I have to change now.
Just be true to yourself bro. Some women will want you and some women will not. Some women will stay with you and some women leave you. That's a rule of life, nothing you can do about that. However the reason it's so frustrating is because you changed who you were for a woman and still got dumped. You got treated like garbage because you were trying so hard to be "nice" that you never set any boundaries. People like to see what they can get away with, even your dog will shit all over the house if you let it. You HAVE to figure who you are and be that. You HAVE to figure out what your boundaries are and enforce them. Or else, people will keep walking over you and let me tell you, you've got no one to blame but yourself.
Perfectly said my brother. Thank you! :) Cheers!
[–]agaribay1010 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly. If you're only nice to get stuff in return, you're not actually a good person. Like if you gotta film yourself every time you give a homeless person money, are you actually doing it out of the kindness in your heart? Being good is unconditional.
I actually hate people that record themselves giving homeless people money. You're recording this man at probably the lowest point in his life and putting it all over your Instagram. Why?
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