Posting this as I have no one I can talk to at the moment.

My wife and I have been disconnected for quite some time. A few months ago she started traveling regularly to Manhattan for work in which she'd be gone 3-5 days at a time.

About 2 months or so ago, I started noticing little things like her staying out late, packing her razor(its fall in the Northeast), or shaving her legs the morning of or the night before a work trip.

Last week I tried to cuddle with her on Sunday morning and she said she didn't want to be physical. She then went on to say that we should split up, but not until my daughter (her stepdaughter) graduates high school in 2025. I completely broke down and we didn't talk much the rest of the day. Monday she headed back to Manhattan for a work trip. Before she left she said she'd like to talk when she gets back.

On Wednesday night, I checked our bank account and saw a Lyft charge (6PM), the next morning I saw another one for later in the night (10PM). She's typically in bed by 9 or so on work nights...hmmmm.

She came home Thursday and due to life events and teenagers we didn't get a chance to talk until this evening. When we talked, I confirmed what she had said on Sunday and then we started talking finances. We were on the page.

Then I asked her if she was seeing someone else while in NYC. She immediately accused me of attempting to play the victim. So then I told her that I've been noticing some things here and there. She's says, "Like what?". I said "the amount of time you've been spending on your work phone for one". She starts to get flustered and stammered,"Well Itold you this job is a lot different than my other one". I said, "Really? You need your work phone in your hand when you take the dogs for a walk?". We have a ring camera and I saw it in her hand today when she left to walk the dogs. We usually walk the dogs together, but today she wanted to go alone. Hmmmmm.....

Then I said, "I really need you to be honest with me because I'm starting to feel like I'm going crazy. " She then blurted out, "There is someone else." We talked a bit more, I was able to identify the month when it all started.

I don't know what the fuck to do. I've already been divorced twice and I thought she was a much more decent human than she apparently is. My daughter had some previous issues and we don't want to affect her going forward. I thought I was living the dream life, but reality is a cruel mistress. We are so good financially, the last 3 years has been the first time in my life that I didn't have to worry about money. We had some awesome vacations, could go to dinners, would pay off $60k of debt in less than 2yrs etc. And now....?? Two years of a virtual prison or rip the bandaid off and risk fucking up my daughter?

Sorry for the wall of text, I don't know how else to vent right now.