Obsessed with lowering child support

2026-03-20T05:51:07+00:00

Hey quick question for you all, when it comes to back child support that I owe, can I get on a payment plan for that or do I have to pay it all in full? Just curious.

Ok_Maintenance_8788 · 2024-09-08T19:39:15+00:00

If it makes you feel better, my husband pays his ex wife an insane amount of money. He has had to pay $4,000 a month from 2017 until just recently it was reduced to $2,000 a month as the kids are over 18 but he has to pay $2,000 a month for her mortgage until 2027 then he will finally be done. When I got divorced I received $280 month for three kids. I ended up doing fine financially so I signed away the child support after two years and just asked he split their joint costs like healthcare. Total yin yang of my situation and my husband’s with his ex. It’s mind boggling how much he’s had to pay her, she definitely ended up with 65-70% of everything. I was not greedy and just wanted a fair, equitable split of kid costs. Night and day situations. When my husband finally is done paying his ex in 2027 his youngest will be 21 and we will be celebrating big time! He’s even had to pay for her vacations for the first few years 🤪

OPs_Mom_and_Dad · 2024-09-07T17:25:24+00:00

This might sound dumb, but it’s helped me cope with child support (I hate paying mine every month for the same reasons OP outlined). Every time you pay it, tell yourself it’s your divorce subscription, and that if you don’t pay it, the state will make you marry her again.

Like I said, it might sound dumb, but this mantra has really helped me get through hitting “send” on that payment every few weeks.

narkj · 2024-09-06T20:47:54+00:00

captainchippsixx · 2024-09-06T13:15:38+00:00

Side hustle is the way to go - under the table. Is there any hobbies, sports, mechanical or specialty niche knowledge you have over a majority of the public. Or look at your area you live in, what does everyone need or is popular there.

Let’s say you love fly fishing. You could look for equipment on marketplace, negotiate it down to buy. Then resell it. Most people want to get rid of stuff as soon as possible.

I live in a large city with a lot of universities. Anytime there is wood dining chairs being gotten rid off I grab them and sell them for $100 usually to a student.

Just do cash. Avoid apps for business. Keep the income off the books. $400 a month is another $4800 a year untaxed.

LuvDonkeeButts · 2024-09-06T12:04:21+00:00

Why do you believe that $12000 a year go to your ex, not to your child?

I mean, $12,000 a year doesn't sound like much considering child expenses. Where I live, it'll barely pay for half a year of daycare. Or do you take care of the kid? If so, why do you pay child support? You should be the one receiving money.

DntCareBears · 2024-09-06T04:04:11+00:00

You can’t take her back on the ground of “I pay too much” the court won’t even look at it. You need to show a change in financial circumstances. Either her or you. Additionally, you will be asked to provide a financial affidavit. As part of that financial disclosure, they will see your taxes. If you have a side hustle and pay taxes, they will see that and she could technically ask for more because you’re working a 2nd job.

It’s unfair I know, but it’s the attorneys. This is why I hope LLM’s (AI) destroy the Family Law field and democratize affordability. I 100x myself as a pro-de using LLM’s.

Not sure you can win this one.

Internal-Wolverine13 · 2024-09-06T02:13:47+00:00

Would your child cost around 24k a year? All told, including food, clothes, insurance, square footage for their room, the whole nine yards.

It's probably pretty close if you factor everything in.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-09-06T00:04:36+00:00

OP, her income should have been imputed as full time, not part time. You were robbed. Take her back to court for 50/50 and have her income properly input to full time.

Financial-Builder-92 · 2024-09-05T22:59:59+00:00

First, you need to understand that money goes to the kids. Look at it from that point of view and digest it! You are only going to get bitter and you don't need resentment! Next thing I would do, start investing what capital you have and make a monthly income stream from ETF's, Mutual Funds! Create a passive income that will help you. You can always get a side job doing construction and other things but you need to invest.

A_StableGenius · 2024-09-05T21:35:19+00:00

Yeah, $1000 is harsh. I been there. I got mine reduced.

xeskind30 · 2024-09-05T17:28:52+00:00

I feel you. I pay up to $1000/month, as well.

To answer your question: how much time do you have your kids at you home? Is custody 50/50? How many days?

Another step is to check your county/state CS rules and regulations. Also, consult an attorney to see what your legal avenues might be. If the ex is making bank and you're paying that much, then there might be precedence to inquire about CS payment changes.

Good luck.

LuvDonkeeButts · 2024-09-05T17:05:05+00:00

If you make more money, she can ask for more money. It's just a big chalky bitter horse pill we have to swallow till they're 18. My ex makes $300k/yr and I'm just under the state maximum allowable amount paid. It sucks. 5 more years...

licensedmofo · 2024-09-05T16:53:53+00:00

The best way to do it is to gain more custody of the kids. Establish it and then request a reduction in child support.

93tabitha93 · 2024-09-05T16:34:46+00:00

A $1,000 a month is not a ton?!

I’m clearly in a different tax bracket for sure That’s a terrifying thought for me.

tempussecundus · 2024-09-05T16:19:00+00:00

Then 1000 isn't bad you're splitting the difference between the two salaries.

Glittering-Spell-446 · 2024-09-05T16:06:39+00:00

Full time employment should have been imputed to her before CS calculations were made. What number was used for her income when CS was ordered?

Conscious_Task281 · 2024-09-05T16:01:42+00:00

Like the others stated, what’s the wage gap and what’s the custody. My ex makes 60k more than me and have 50/50 and she only pays me $450 a month based on the calculations.

slow-motion-pearls · 2024-09-05T15:58:44+00:00

Yeah it’s insane. Especially if indefinitely is involved. That alone should absolve you from the obligation to pay them.

RxRobb · 2024-09-05T15:52:50+00:00

Take some accountability Jesus Christ . A 4 year old def needs about 1k a month in care. I pay 3600$ a month for one child

PghSubie · 2024-09-05T15:51:52+00:00

Your adjudicated calculation for child support should have already taken her income, your income, and your custody schedule into effect. If you think your support number is too high, then you can lower your income, increase her income, change your custody schedule to have more time, or simply adjust your perspective

tempussecundus · 2024-09-05T15:36:57+00:00

Do you make more than her? Substantially? Also is parenting time 50/50? If not, I would not complain. Think of it as ensuring your child has everything they need. It's not for your ex to use but for your child. It does suck, but it helps knowing that you're supporting them.

Again if parenting is 50/50 I'd try to lower it.

Title	Obsessed with lowering child support
Author	LuvDonkeeButts
Upvotes	13
Comments	91
Date	September 5, 2024 3:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f9pc16/obsessed_with_lowering_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/obsessed-with-lowering-child-support.1529499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529499

Comments