Post Divorce Shower Thoughts

Significant_Rope976 · 2025-08-26T04:56:33+00:00

She is grown adult and not your responsibility to guide and teach the right from wrongs. Give up control, and let her make their own bed, and live with the consequences. Trust me, it's liberating.

Sad-Service-9682 · 2025-08-21T06:43:08+00:00

Yes, started sending me instagram reels of annoying husbands a few months prior to blowing up our lives and leaving me for a total loser. Went through a few months of “living her best life” which involved blowing every penny she had on holidays and nice clothes. I moved on. Now every time I see her she just looks sad and worn out. Perhaps realising what she gave up to be with a loser with no prospects. Hey ho…

t_odd_ · 2025-08-21T03:06:29+00:00

Yes and majorly rocket boosted by ChatGPT

shozzlez · 2025-08-20T23:24:06+00:00

This is likely, but everyone is susceptible to this. Reading groups like this is not different, if you aren’t self aware and make sure to not treat it as any other biased source.

ImNotYourGuru · 2025-08-20T22:54:31+00:00

I have seen it. My ex used to send me a bunch of reels about the tired spouse/mother. And I really get it. Most men do. But as friendships, a marriage is about filling each other glass. Most women that I know don’t understand they can’t try to make someone accountable if them themselves can’t be.

If I know that I’m hurting you because I don’t have the energy to be as lovely as I “used” to be and I tell you is because “X” and you pretend “X” don’t exist because it hurt your ego, then don’t expect me to be as lovely as I “used” to be. Simple as that. Nowadays, she still saying that divorcing me will always be her biggest mistake; she can keep watching those instagram reels.

SirLawnsALot · 2025-08-20T21:36:26+00:00

"You go, girl!" Said all her friends.

She went. She went to a trailer park to live with her mother while I kept the kids, business and house.

BestLifeEver

No_Interview7580 · 2025-08-20T19:03:24+00:00

yep.. same story.. she is empowered.. the child is with me 5 days a week.. the lawyer was worried that i am asking for too much by proposing 5/2 plan and the ex just agreed to it.. the child stays with me 6/1 and sometimes its 7/0.. she wants to lead her best life.. she also abandoned her old friends and got influenced by a new much younger bunch while she as at college.

Ducktales_woo-hoo · 2025-08-20T17:59:20+00:00

Oh yeah man, it happens, did to me (kinda). I'm several years past the divorce but I remember this well. It wasn't social media, it was simply her friend group. Three of her best friends got separated around the same time... I think it normalized the idea in her head. So my ex decided to join the club.

Maybe 18 months later and two of the friends had patched up their relationships, and the third was MISERABLE alone. Mine didn't come crawling back per se, but wanted to go to counseling, talk things out. I had recently started dating but put that on pause, gave it a shot. Took me three sessions to realize absolutely nothing had changed, she just realized it sucks being a single mom. And frankly... dating wasn't easy, but I was really encouraged be the women I had met. Lots of attractive, kind, smart, hard-working women. Not all, but most were really quite impressive. I think I feared the worst for no reason at all. And most of all, I was ENJOYING my new life. Better work routine, better gym routine... less time with the kids but the time I did have was QUALITY.

So I said no more counseling, went right back to dating. And like I said, wasn't easy per se... but I have zero regrets. I was happier then, I'm happier now. And I think the kids are too. And the ex surrendered the right for her happiness to be a consideration in my mind the minute she asked to become an ex.

As for your broader question, lots of women are victims in this world. It's true and it's sad. But there's also a lot who just want to be a victim for the sympathy, and wear that crown. Brother... let me tell you - it's no crown I would want to wear.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-08-20T17:28:54+00:00

Been there, done that.

There is another guy in the picture who is making her feel alive again.

She's tired of being in mom mode 24/7. Unfortunately they don't teach us guys how to get your wife out of mom mode on a frequent basis prior to marriage. You'll know what to do in your next marriage.

IrresponsibleInsect · 2025-08-20T17:18:07+00:00

This is my 25 year marriage right now, combined with the first stages of the silver bullet strategy... but also we're both dumb enough to still have sex. However what she doesn't realize is that I have her on my ring cam coming to my house for sex, leaving happily and without issue, she had me take video during sex with her begging for it, and she even posed for pictures afterwards. I'm not sure how the court would react to such evidence of someone claiming that they need a protective order from me because I'm so dangerous, and then going out of their way to quite obviously have consensual sex with me, repeatedly. That is the saving grace to what we're going through- they are dumb enough to do it, which makes them dumb enough to get caught in the charade.

Mine is also "living my best life". Funny thing is, she is struggling financially and at 42 years old- refusing help from me, in writing, while relying on her parents for financial support. She refuses to get a higher paying job, and makes far below her ability because she's comfortable and has anxiety about change. She's constantly talking to the children about wanting new tattoos and facial piercings (she currently has none) and wanting to dye her hair bright colors. I didn't mind any of these, but I did tell her she needed to be able to pay her bills first, which she never did- to the point of pawning her wedding ring one time because I told her she wasn't paying her split of the bills. The narrative is spun to be "he won't even let me have autonomy about my own body". Let's omit the part about how when I told her I was getting a vasectomy (after 7 kids with her), she told me she would have kids with someone else then. Now she's telling the kids she can't afford food and clothing, while buying new furniture and appliances for her "new room" (aka our room that she kicked me out of with a frivolous restraining order). I was able to get my king sized bed from her, and she replaced it with a twin and now tells the kids there's not enough room for her to cuddle with them. She replaced the sectional couch with a love seat. The kids have no where to sit. Over the last 3 months, the house is systematically and simultaneously having all signs of me pushed out of it, while also being re-invented as a single, childless woman's house. "Freedom"... while ignoring the responsibility that comes with it.

We have 7 children, 5 are still minors. All 7 hate her now... but it's going to take tens of thousands of $ and months, if not years, to get "the best interests of the children" through to the courts. In the end, they will resent her for the rest of their lives. She is destroying our family of 9 for her "best life" and everyone sees it except her, and everyone who was fed lies by her- her parents, her therapist, the domestic violence advocates, social media, and her 2 morally defunct short term friends (because she has never, and can't maintain actual friendships).

It's a perfect example of "A man will sacrifice his life for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her life," and the convergence of a midlife crisis, narcissistic collapse, several other mental illnesses, combined with the victim/self-empowerment culture (while ignoring personal accountability and growth, which is the key), empowered by the family court system, and represented by a self-interested attorney funded by mommy's endless supply of cash she gold dug from step dad.

"The perfect storm" where my kids are the greatest victim. MY kids. She doesn't act like a mother. The kids stopped calling her mom and call her by her name. Everything she is doing is against their best interests. She's become an egg donor and mother in name only. Sadly.

Heavy-Interaction-47 · 2025-08-20T14:10:07+00:00

Same thing here. 23 years of marriage looks like it's over. Not say I don't have any blame in it because I do, but she shows me videos from social media about taking back your life and being happy.

_SpeedWolf_ · 2025-08-20T13:47:56+00:00

Are you me? …Am I you?

Fuckthedarkpools · 2025-08-20T13:45:26+00:00

Most of these women are just selfish. They just need more women to be miserable with them so they can live in this fake utopia where getting dicked down by several men is self care.

Asleep-Ratio7535 · 2025-08-20T13:04:21+00:00

Ah, feminist gender war program. You are one of the victims. Those women are serious about this war.

Tasty_Dinner6530 · 2025-08-20T12:59:41+00:00

My wife read “The Mountain is You” - and I think In all her healing from past trauma of her parents passing away and her family being shitty to her (all the while I supported her) as soon as things patched up with family she ditched me :)

Numerous_Study_1846 · 2025-08-20T12:50:19+00:00

Theyre just dumb as hell and cant think for themselves.

No matter how smart or educated they may seem if they see or get around abunch of other women doing it they think they should too.

No matter how much it doesnt apply to their life.

Schmetts · 2025-08-20T12:19:55+00:00

I don’t think my stbx is on social media much but this attitude and pervasive narrative pushed towards women in their 40s is everywhere. I sometimes wonder about my wife’s newish friend group from the last two years.

I put my career on hold to be SAHD so she could build her own business, have given her tons of space to get away from the kids and have her own social life and solo trips, have championed her and helped her with a variety of fulfilling creative projects and side hustles, done mountains of housework to free up time for her. She acknowledges and is grateful for all of this. And her main reason for wanting a divorce is to prioritize herself. What can you do.

I take accountability for some of my traits that can make me a difficult partner at times but it all doesn’t add up. (I would be stunned if there was an affair for separate reasons)

Upstairs_Leopard_954 · 2025-08-20T11:36:19+00:00

You know what they say. A man will sacrifice his life for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her life.

bigturtle13 · 2025-08-20T11:16:23+00:00

I’m living this nightmare right now.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-08-20T10:45:11+00:00

I noticed it when her Dad passed. She started watching all these ridiculous love island reality shows. She would watch teenage shot and I'd ask how the fuck can she watch this? Like 30 day fiance trash shows. Started reading mommy porn books. Started hanging out with some bitter divorced women. Then she fucked a dude at her work and now she lives alone.

jaceq777 · 2025-08-20T07:03:09+00:00

Exactly this. Very easily influenced by this type of content, only mixed with radical feminist "all men are bad and should be killed" type shit. It was also sudden but I guess it was a part of her personality I underappreciated.

saptreezaptree · 2025-08-20T04:31:22+00:00

I hear you. I wonder if my ex was influenced by the same content. Guaranteed it had some influence, if only a it gave her a little bit more permission. Or the confirmation she was looking for to have the affair.

BornBandicoot2515 · 2025-08-20T04:21:12+00:00

Yes. And who knows if it’s permanent but it’s pervasive and persuasive. Mine was similar. I don’t dwell on it. She’s my X now. No going back. Only issue I have is her not being a great mom anymore. And that is bothersome. But so is the way. Do your best for your kids and yourself. She’s not for you to worry about anymore.

Title	Post Divorce Shower Thoughts
Author	mchop68
Upvotes	45
Comments	70
Date	August 20, 2025 4:13 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mv4scx/post_divorce_shower_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/post-divorce-shower-thoughts.1560003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560003

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BestLifeEver