Developed countries are living in a global dating market, and it has having detrimental affects on men and women. CMV

Men sleep with who they can and women sleep with who they choose.

This one phrase encapsulates the current dating market like never before, and there are exceptions. If you’re overweight or below average in looks, man or woman, it’s going to be exceptionally more difficult to sleep with anyone with good reason. You would be deemed on an animal level to not have good genetics. If you’re an incredibly good looking guy or have exceptional status, you’ll have pick of the litter, and not all women sleep around, but it does not change the fact you’ll have a far easier time doing so than 80-90% of men if you choose to in today's climate (just youtube "man and woman swap tinder accounts" and have a ball if you don't believe me).

Blah, blah, blah. We’ve heard all this before. haven't we?

The point of me typing all of this b.s., is that the current ability to date and attract partners globally thanks to social media and dating apps screws women over in the back end and men over in the front end in this modern era. Ultimately though, no one wins which you can see in the declining birth and marriage rates as well as the increased divorce rates.

Men naturally want to sleep with whomever, so long as they're not terrible looking and quickly create a bond as to start fathering children before another man comes along who the woman may perceive as better. Women on the other hand are far more selective because she would need a partner who can protect and provide (in the historical sense), and are essentially the gatekeepers to passing on the next lineage of humans, so they have to be selective on what genetics are let through.

The problem lies in how we evolved. 2.5 - 3 million years ago, the genus homo arrived. We lived in groups no bigger than 20-30 people, all the way up to 150 (Dunbar's number). There was no such thing as dating. There was courting but no dating. If you asked a homo sapien from 250,000 years ago if they had planned on seeing their potential partner (if the tribe was monogamous) once a week for 2-3 hours and not again for days or weeks, they'd look at you as though you fell from the sky in a flying shiny object (or probably just say no because everyone sees everyone damn near 24/7 because they live in a tribe).

Men and women could only select from who was in their immediate surroundings. For men, being attractive and having a good social standing within the tribe based off of how you carry yourself, hunt, share amongst the tribe, and treat others would naturally help you with attracting a partner. Women would have to prove that you could protect children, were nurturing, hunt (if those responsibilities were), and not be promiscuous because on a biological level men want to ensure that their children are THEIRS (plus if another man comes along who would be a more suitable partner, you'd not want the gossip of the tribe to be about you promiscuity).

There's also something pointed out earlier, which is if we were even monogamous to begin with. Now, if we were naturally polyamorous before agriculture made it more beneficial to be monogamous than the rules still apply, but now imagine switching from polyamory to monogamy, and then the environment now promotes polyamory on a larger playing field; a playing field we have no been using for 10,000 years... Well you have yourself a recipe for disaster.

The last place it's easiest to form monogamous relationships would really be high school or college, but once women start realizing their options on a global scale, the average man to their left and right can't compare because eventually there will always be someone better and you are no longer with your partner 24/7 as you would have been before, so the temptation makes it far easier to stray. It's easier to choose and settle when there's only 30-40 other people to choose from for your entire life. Now if you make a dating app profile or post a normal to seductive selfie on social media, you can have 30-40 suitors in minutes to an hour. I'm saying you can, not sayin you will. But, it would be far easier for you to do so compared to a guy.

So, you have all of these options up front, but it makes it harder to settle down. Now in the back end, no one can measure up, and even if you want to settle down in yours 30's or 40's, who can compare to what you want and what you've had? It'd probably be far more preferable to settle down with a couple cats than most men. On top of this, have you seen how difficult it is to have children in your 30's? Most men who you'd actually like to go out with would want someone younger for the innate animal desire of someone who is actually more fertile. Don't take my word for it though, just google fertility issues for women in their 30's and cost of treatments (notice I said treatments because who knows if one treatment will work?). HOWEVER, it's not all rainbows and butterflies for men either late in the game. Women may be paying for fertility treatments in their 30's that cost thousands, but for men to not have the significant downside of drops in testosterone past 40, we have to take TRT. There's just no way to keep up the same physical performance (not just in bed, but in general) if we don't.

For men, we've really let ourselves be disenfranchised in today's market because we have to either be INCREDIBLY attractive, find someone in high school or college, or work for years to gain resources, character, and a sense of self in today's world where before we'd be making something of ourselves in our teens as we participated in hunts, gathered, ensured the survival of the tribe, and ensured everyone was in good health and looked after. We'd have purpose and importance to help guide us. Now we just sit at home masturbating and playing video games too damn much in our early days. Not all guys, but enough for it to make headlines in the news and start whole damn movements around it like "No FAP." It takes us years to become a suitable partner in today's age as we compete with men our own age and faaaaaaaaaaaar older who've had time to do so. Sure, we can expedite that through being attractive, extroverted, and having some kind of social status within online communities or enough within our local ones, but a lot of this has to do with luck (were you exposed to the knowledge to guide you on that path) and attractiveness (studies showing attractive people just have it easier in life). For the majority of men though? It's rough until late 20's early 30's. By that time though, how many men want to settle down now that their finally getting somewhere in dating and in life? If you go off of marriage statistics, not many. What age are women looking to settle down though? Late 20's, early 30's? Possibly because there's societal pressure to do so and the deep sense that fertility is about to start significantly dropping?

So, both sexes lose out in today's dating market. The stats are showing that. No amount of women suck or men suck will change that. The only possible reversal would literally be to get rid of the global dating market by banning dating apps and social media while going back to more community focused living (which would honestly help with a livable wage because then maybe empathy would go up, and a community can actually vote with their dollars vice millions of strangers living in a city).

The last semblance of a tribe we'll get in modern times is high school, college, or some military because everyone's working towards a common goal in these environments and are more likely to be around each other more consistently and gossip, positive as well as negative gossip, more than any other social circle you could be apart of in today's age.

CMV.

Note: None of this is about increasing child birth or improving marriage rates because we should really focus on actually making dating feasible again before we get to the sustainability. While I believe courts, no fault divorce, large alimony payments, and unbelievably large child support payments scare men away from these things entirely, developed countries as a whole have dissuaded people from having children through cost of living and lack of support/empathy towards parents.