Q4W: Controversial Statistics Saturday: Do You Believe Marriage Benefits Men, and Would You Marry if You Were a Guy?

CimZim · 2021-11-06T16:56:19+00:00

I think that marriage benefits children primarily. It's main purpose is to create a cohesive and legally stable family unit. Since I'm childfree, I don't see any reason for it. Having "uncle sam" involved in my relationship is one of the worst things ever. Ronald Reagan said it best: "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help."

If I were a man, I would not marry...I'm a woman and already anti-marriage since age 16. I've seen how it changes people, and many times for the worse.

Barneysparky · 2021-11-06T16:39:08+00:00

The paternity fraud stat was based on refugees from Bosnia. I know, I was watching the manosphere when it came out.

They were congratulating themselves on the gotcha moment until it finally got through their thick skulls that when a country has set up literal rape camps babies will happen.

Marriage is good for men when they want their own families and a life partner, and are willing to commit to that partner, just like it's good for women the same way.

If you are not the above person, then no marriage is not a good idea for you.

velvetalocasia · 2021-11-06T17:09:13+00:00

Can you at least go with legitimate studies about misatributed paternity?

The 30% figure is actually 25% and this is a statistic about laboratories. In other words out of 100 men who doubt there paternity to the point that they go and get a court viable test 75 are the father. Plus keep in mind that these although includes the cases of more then one candidate and all are doing a test.

The rate in the overall population are 0,5% - 3% depending on when and where.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/241128460_Rampant_misattributed_paternity_The_creation_of_an_urban_myth

xQueen-Bx · 2021-11-06T17:04:12+00:00

Sell Me On Marriage Post #209385767685094030349308586

women dont care if "men" marry, they only need ONE suitable man to marry. its not womens business to convince "men" to marry, only to inspire the desire to marry THEM in one man. dont marry, no one cares

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-11-06T17:45:31+00:00

If I wanted all the same things I do as a woman, AND I met a woman (assuming I'm straight) I loved as much as my husband, I'd absolutely get married.

Whether it benefits men as a whole is irrelevant. It's up to each man (and woman) to decide what they want.

goatismycopilot · 2021-11-06T17:08:20+00:00

Don't get married if you don't want to get married.

Demasii · 2021-11-06T18:19:17+00:00

The fact that men are more likely to remarry tells me that even divorced men believe in the benefits of marriage.

sunkized · 2021-11-06T19:32:25+00:00

If I was male I would never marry. I would order a wife. If that doesn't work I would just order another and sleep with escorts. Dating is completely rigged against the ugly.

rosephase · 2021-11-06T16:55:42+00:00

Marriage is designed to benefit the people who are allowed to marry. If your marriage sucks? Then like most painful relationships it's probably harmful to both people. To me? the harm of a bad relationship is way deeper then the financial harm of separation. Being stuck with someone you don't like as a life partner is hell.

The person at "most risk" during a divorce is the person who gained the most while married. Or the person who was richer going in, if they did nothing to protect their family wealth.

I'm a woman and I'm not going to get married. I can't see how my stance would change if I was a man.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-11-06T16:51:22+00:00

Marriage absolutely benefits men. Married men are happier and live longer. (Or maybe it just feels longer, I know the joke goes.)

Novadina · 2021-11-06T19:26:02+00:00

Sure, if it’s the right woman. Statistics don’t really mean much when you are actually trying to decide if a particular person is worth marrying. For example, I make much more than my husband and we have no kids. So for our situation, marriage benefits him just fine, and he has zero concern about the things in your list except divorce. And the divorce is a concern because of the emotional impact of splitting up, which can happen without marriage too. We get some benefits from marriage, it means I can fund a spousal retirement account for him, give him benefits from my work, he can get loans, and he won’t have to pay taxes on assets inherited from me if I die. He has zero risk of paying alimony or paternity fraud. We made the same amount when we got together, so it’s not like money is why he got with me, but the type of person I was I’m sure he knew I wouldn’t be a mooch or something. And we were always aligned with life plans.

Some of these worries you have are easily prevented, anyway. If you are honestly concerned about paternity fraud and avoiding relationships over it, just get a vasectomy. Marriage isn’t related to this at all, a woman can say you are the dad even if you aren’t married. If you are concerned about alimony, don’t marry someone who wants to be a SAHM, and get with someone in your same economic class. If she quits her job after you marry her and doesn’t look for another, just divorce her immediately, alimony is only for long term marriages where one partner was financially supporting the other. Only 10% of divorces result in alimony, so if statistics are your thing, that shouldn’t be a concern at all.

Also, if statistics are your reason for marrying, then married men tend to make more money, live longer, and be healthier. Plus they tend to have healthier kids. You can decide for yourself if that is worth the risk of getting into a financial contract with someone.

And if you don’t like marriage, don’t do it. I honestly couldn’t care less if other men besides my partner want to get married or not. Why do you want women here to convince you?

Slipthe · 2021-11-06T17:50:02+00:00

If I was a dude I wouldn't really want a future as a lonely bachelor with no one who is willing to stick around long enough to fulfill me because I had commitment issues.

But who knows.

LittyKitsune · 2021-11-06T17:13:26+00:00

Assuming hypothetical dude me is religious, yes. I don't know as much about why secular men get married.

AquaChip · 2021-11-07T14:01:52+00:00

I would love to have a wife. But unfortunately I’m straight.

If I was a man though I would marry a woman immediately. I would love to be with Someone who society is pressuring to take care of me, I’d be more likely to get away with “not knowing” how to do house hold chores, If I wanted kids all I’d have to do his pump for 2 mins but she’ll have to carry them for nine months and breast feed them for a year. Also society is set up in a way where It would be socially acceptable for me to only do the bare minimum when rearing my kids. All I have to do is go to work and society will label me as a great father and husband. That’s a deal!

OkKaleidoscope8048 · 2021-11-06T22:45:45+00:00

Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in the 3% of women who had to pay alimony to my ex husband? And his family IS rich. I worked and had a good career and he sat on his ass, wouldn’t keep a job and just whined so I left him. Then I had to pay HIM $2000 a month!

merlinscalculator · 2021-11-07T03:36:14+00:00

Yes. I already tick all the requirements of a god tier husband as a woman - I make good money, I’m happy to spend it on the people I love and I’m not an asshole. My wife would carry our children, do majority of the childcare and domestic duties and I could literally live the exact same way as I am living now except with a lot more social, sexual, domestic and financial benefits. It is so fucking easy to make your marriage benefit you as a man that it never fails fo blow my mind how men manage to fuck it up. Imaging having all the cards in your favour and you still fail.

Mimoxs · 2021-11-06T18:23:59+00:00

Well sure. If I'm a guy, when I complain about my partner people will actually give me basic empathy rather than saying it's my fault for having them as a partner and that I deserved whatever I got. That sounds neat.

Fabulous-Housing102 · 2021-11-06T18:57:29+00:00

Yes and yes. Married men are happier and live longer.

Also those statistics are incorrect

januaryphilosopher · 2021-11-06T21:04:35+00:00

Having someone else who's likely to do the majority of the work in the house, carry my children and look after them? Seems like a great deal to me.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-11-06T23:25:30+00:00

Yeah I have two women in my family that were housewives and they didn’t get any alimony or child support after their divorce. Both husbands were assholes that cheated and were abusive. So I think it favors men definitely. Which is why I never wanted to marry. If I want a kid I’ll raise it alone

Willow-girl · 2021-11-07T00:01:41+00:00

Alimony: 97% to women (380,000 people).

You realize there are 330 million people in the U.S., right?

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-11-07T01:39:57+00:00

I'd marry an antifeminist who accepts to do a paternity test

pubgmisc · 2021-11-07T04:23:25+00:00

Not at all . Over half end in divorce, mostly initiated by women. Alright, but the male losses in every-thing. It used to be for raising kids, now you won’t get a wife: just someone who wants marriage and resources. So no

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SaBahRub · 2021-11-06T17:02:04+00:00

Yes and thus yes, but only for companionship; kids, which I believe are the primary reason for marriage, don’t concern me

Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-11-06T17:20:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NarniaFox · 2021-11-06T17:28:27+00:00

Both parties benefit from marriage and the kind of benefits depends on the format of marriage. But overall people are social creatures and there are lots of studies showing that married people do better. We can argue whether it's the result of pre-selection or causation, but it seems that being marriagable and having a long-term partner are good things for both men and women.

If I was a guy and met a woman/man I wanted to spend my life with, sure thing I'd marry them if they were open to this idea.

Edit: I think most direct benefits of marriage are legal ones. Like lower mortgage rates, job benefits for your spouse (in Russia they're pretty good for state workers), inheritance, easier process of getting visa if one of you gets to work abroad etc. Indirect benefits like companionship, support, love etc. can be get without marriage, but they're still linked to it although not as direct and straightforward as legal ones. Sure, you can get most legal benefits with other paper work, but personally I don't see much reasons for it. For me marriage is a way to confirm my intentions and to provide security for borth parties.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-11-06T20:06:18+00:00

I’m a woman who has had the opportunity to marry and chose not to so far, but I haven’t ruled it out with the right person. I’d feel the same as a man. If marriage is a good or bad idea depends 100% on the individuals involved.

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2021-11-06T21:26:50+00:00

I'd say it benefits men if their goal is to raise a child well, but can't really think of much else. CimZim nailed it on the head imo.

As for me personally.. I would but then again I want to have a family and I'm religious. I understand the high failure rate and all the many other issues we talk about here so I definitely don't begrudge the men who decide it's not worth the hassle.

SaltyFatNuts · 2021-11-06T23:26:14+00:00

Idk maybe if I’m truly in love with this woman and she wants to as well then maybe but honestly my life is currently in shambles so I don’t even date rn not only that but I have a lot of trauma and I’m sure most women don’t want « damaged goods » per say and the high divorce rate frightens me a bit Ig

Taipanshimshon · 2021-11-07T00:43:35+00:00

Marriage is for kids.

cccccclairee · 2021-11-07T03:36:01+00:00

I don’t see a whole lot of reason to do it if you don’t culturally value it. If you live with someone for a set amount of time where I live, separation is treated the same for marriage or just common law. Child care separation stuff doesn’t require having been married. For my own divorce (I’m a woman), the only thing being married resulted in was the massive waste of money for the wedding and the few thousand for the divorce papers. And actually I think the agreement behind it would still have been necessary anyway, since we were splitting up property.

TackleOk3608 · 2021-11-07T18:09:39+00:00

The stats show that married men are happier than unmarried men, and unmarried women are happier than married women.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-11-08T00:01:38+00:00

Yes, to both. If I had sons I’d encourage them to marry too.

DiamondLilyD · 2021-11-08T12:18:39+00:00

Paternity Fraud: 30% in 1999

This was people who ALREADY suspected paternity fraud, not all births ffs this sub is a joke.

Emergency_Ad_6954 · 2021-11-09T12:26:25+00:00

As a man 9/10 there is no benefit to getting married

No_Exercise_8670 · 2021-11-11T14:47:29+00:00

Marriage might be pretty good for average man. Sex(I know it not is guaranteed but still), children, second income some other stuff. Problem is not the marriage, problem is divorce and divorce courts. Divorce would devastate that same man.

nemma88 · 2021-11-06T19:29:27+00:00

That's really for men to decide. They keep doing it, some multiple times so I guess so.

Me as a guy, in this relationship sure. He isn't assuming more risk than me here.

RaspberryJuiceBox · 2021-11-06T20:55:10+00:00

I’d absolutely marry if I were a man.

I’d have no problem paying alimony and child support, hell, if I were a divorced man and I could afford it, I’d give much more to my kids than just the amount the government said I had to pay.

I’d be a great husband too. I don’t watch porn, I wouldn’t follow IG models or use OnlyFans, I’d do a lot of housework and cooking and I’d do it so well that it would meet my wife’s standards and probably my mother in law’s too.

Any wife of mine would be happy, well-rested, get massages, oral sex, the best vacations, gifts and life I could afford.

I’d even move if she had a great career opportunity.

Why wouldn’t I marry? I’d be the best husband and the best dad.

Plus, women are so intelligent, interesting, funny and caring. Why wouldn’t I get married?

superlurkage · 2021-11-06T21:02:33+00:00

Yes and yes. But not because of the stats or benefits

CFinCanada · 2021-11-06T21:26:44+00:00

I believe marriage absolutely benefits a guy, in fact it was designed for the benefit of guys, but it's a toss-up as to whether it benefits men as much as divorce can harm them.

Would I get married if I were a guy? It's hard to say. I'd like to think I'd be as risk-averse a person as a man as I am as a woman, but there is no way to know for sure.

The man most like me in terms of temperament and values and everything is my boyfriend and he's not keen on marriage so I'm inclined to say probably not.

Title	Q4W: Controversial Statistics Saturday: Do You Believe Marriage Benefits Men, and Would You Marry if You Were a Guy?
Author	BMTEJ
Upvotes	21
Comments	261
Date	November 6, 2021 4:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qo3vvf/q4w_controversial_statistics_saturday_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-controversial-statistics-saturday-do-you.1085587 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085587