EDIT: THE TITLE SAYS, “RED PILL LOGIC,” BUT TO CLARIFY, I AM SPECIFICALLY REFERRING PARTNER SELECTION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. THAT’S ALL I KNOW THE RED PILL AS, SO WHAT I HAVE IN MIND WHEN REFERENCING IT. PLEASE DO NOT MISCONSTRUE ANYTHING BELOW WITH BEING MISOGYNISTIC AS THE TWO DR’S LOOK AT BOTH GENDERS

EDIT 2: Please read—with an openness—the notes in their entirety if the podcast is too long. It goes over both genders from an unbiased view. The only bias one could argue may be from me adding my thoughts from a male perspective; however, it’s the two have a general discussion on what each gender does in regards to long term mating, short term sex, infidelity, deception, and more (in the podcast).

This podcast just released today from Dr. Huberman, a Stanford professor and researcher of neurobiology and ophthalmology, who sat down with Dr. David Buss, professor of Psychology at University of Texas. Dr. Buss is the one giving insight into both genders based off his decades of research into the dynamics of them. The podcast does a much better job at presenting the info, and he approaches it looking at commonalities between the sexes before looking at how each differ.

I'll put a few show notes down below, so you can get snippets of the podcast, but it represents a lot of the "bro science" views of The Red Pill, but done so through representation of a researcher who actually studies human interaction, mate/sexual partner selection, etc..

Apologies in advance if the show notes are inconsistent in depth. I was merely taking notes as I was cleaning, preparing, emails, and doing all the other intricacies of modern life, so some I missed I listened to again for further clarification in a concentrated setting. One thing I will add is that I stopped at the infidelity portion, but there's much more to the podcast that you can gleam from it, but I believe the whole podcast is a must listen.

Link to podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXzTbCEqCJc&t=2270s

Anything in bold is title heading

Bold + italics is my opinion

SHOW NOTES UP TO TALKS ON INFIDELITY:

9:00 Mate selection.

People look for different things in long term mates vs short term sexual encounters. Mate selection stems from Darwin's sexual selection. Two causal processes in which selection occurs: One being intersexual competition such as when two stags have a stand-off where one gains sexual access to female and the other loses access; logic being whatever qualities caused winner to win sexual advantage get passed on in evolution. Second being, and most relevant to Huberman's question, is preferential in mate choice qualities that the opposite sex agrees on collectively; logic being that whatever qualities are consented upon by one sex get passed on.

13:00 Long term mating strategy rare in mammals and we have mutual mate choice qualities (again rare).

More than 5,000 species of mammals, but percentage of mammals that do pair bonding is 3-5%. Closest primate relatives, Chimpanzees, do not even do long term mating. Humans -> Evolution of long-term mating, heavy male involvement of raising of offspring, constrained ovulation cycles, so unique aspects for human mating system.

15:00 Long-Term preference 37 culture study (that has been replicated now multiple times)

Universal desire: mutual attraction, love, kindness, intelligence, emotional stability, good health

22:30 Male desire 37 culture study:

Physical attractiveness is something men place importance on more than women; however, women do prefer fit men, not the overly muscular gym bros on magazines. Reason men weight physical attractiveness more is it provides queues for reproductive value subconsciously. Cues with youth and health. Known from last 20 years of study that cues men find are not arbitrary as once thought. Clear skin, clear eyes, symmetrical features, etc…

Age gap depends on the age of man. Men prefer women 3-4 years younger on average.

17:50 Women desire 37 culture study:

Good earning capacity, slightly older, qualities associated with resource acquisition: drive, ambitious, social status, trajectory.

Women see attention given to men from other and judge them based off of that, this could mean twitter followers, IG followers in modern times. YouTuber Austin Dunham covers this a lot in his vlogs. He's overly attractive and gets 100's of matches whatever city he lands in on dating apps. He does iG challenges with followers where he messages their girls and they see he's verified and his follower account and go nuts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AeVvk0RHpM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpClDeAxmcQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suCj733M0tc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbY9i9B7jp0 Come back to this after listening to more

Women use mate choice copying (pretty much hypergamy), so if guys pass filters of multiple women, they are pre approved. Basically multiple women approve of him which makes the next woman highly more likely to approve of him. Studies have been done showing attractive women next to a man and he’s perceived higher value than when they a similarly attractive man is alone. Same thing with rockstars who are shown with screaming fans vs multiple beautiful women (this part is covered later in sexual partner selection).

25:50  Age Gap/Marriage stats:

First marriage for men 3 year age gap; second year 5 year age gap; third marriage 8 year age gap.

Peak fertility 24-25 for women. As men get older, the 3 year rule begins to increase. Men in their 50’s would prefer 35-38. Basically preference in age goes up but age gap gets wider. 60 year olds don’t typically prioritize 25 year olds due to reciprocal mate choice phenomenon (they both have to select each other). They also have to do activities together in long term relationships; cultural age differences would hinder those activities.

However, depending on how culture and status is set up, men could get away with being incredibly old and mating with far younger women. Kings didn't abide by it and neither do celebrities: Leonardo Di Caprio, Mick Jagger, etc...

As men get older, they prefer women that are increasingly younger. Cultural variability may determine virginity is most desired. China (at the time of the study) valued and it must be had before long term partnering for both sexes. Mostly males prefer virginity in females. Virginity preference has gone down. Sweden didn’t care at time of study. I doubt both countries care at all now though.

33:00 Sexual Partner selection Choice and deception from both sexes:

Online dating both sexes lie to appeal to opposite’s mate preferences: men lie about height by 2 inches, income by 25%

Women deceive about weight.

Both post photos that do not represent them (younger, filters, etc… ) Dr. Buss describes a friend who used online dating and would only go out with women who self-report as a 7 out of 10. One woman who self reported being a 7 was missing front teeth

Photographs overwrite all other queues we typically use in person because we have no developed a way of deciphering text (I'd disagree and say that overly shit grammar is a good determinant). Men tend to use visual queues more than women. Women: what does he sound like, smell like etc… could embody all other qualities, but if he doesn’t smell right, he’s done.

Encouragement: stop texting and meet for coffee. Emotional stability have to be assessed overtime, so advice is to take a long term trip/vacation in unfamiliar environment.

Emotionally unstable take forever to return to baseline stress. Can be assessed on long trips in the unfamiliar.

Deception: 30% of men are married or in LTR on Tinder. Cannot show short term interest as a man, ineffective tactic in deception. Effective tactic is showing long term interest if interested in short term commitment. Opposite for women. Men exaggerate depths of interest in women and feign alignment in views and values if wanting short term sexual encounter. Evolutionary form of deception that women have defense for. 

Evolved in small group living where “allies” (friends. family, cousins) could give judgement on reputation of either sex (this is why to me it’s best to join a few communities irl and grow your reputation in them as you master whatever skill is associated with that community).

42:00 Sexual partner choice (short term):

Some overlap sexual partner qualities overlap.

Women: Appearance important in mate selection, but in short term sexual encounter it's far more important. More likely to prioritize “bad boy qualities:” arrogant. risk taker, defiance of conventions. Long term they go for dad qualities: stable, kind. etc... 

Short term mating- they use mate copying even more (groupie phenomenon for rockstars, top 10% of guys, Chads and Tyrone’s, etc…). 

Women’s attraction to men is more context specific. Female colleague of Dr. Buss went to conference and found organizer to be really attractive and saw him 6 months later and wondered what she was thinking. 

Men: Physical attractiveness remains important for men, but men willing to drop their standards if low commitment and low risk. 

Context does not matter for men.

46:30 Infidelity in Committed relationships

Frequency difficult to gage because people will refuse to answer when questions come up as shown in 1970s study where people refuse to answer or drop out of the study all together. Figures are all over the place though. 

On average sex differences

Reasons men cheat: Sexual variety, novelty. and opportunity presenting itself reasons for 70% of men cheating. Chris Rock - Men are only as faithful as the opportunities presented

Women: Cheat due to emotionally or physically unhappy. Men’s unhappiness in marriage does not cause cheating no difference between happy marriage and unhappy marriage infidelity for men. 

Two competing hypothesis say women do it either for dual mating: resources from one guy and good genes from another. Originally endorsed it, but overtime professor became skeptical and presented mate switching hypothesis: women looking to trade up (hypergamy), transition mates, or see if they are still desirable, so they can transition into mating pool easier, or a back up mate (friend zone).

SHOW CONTINUES BUT STOPPED LISTENING AND TAKING NOTES

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