Back in the days, people would marry young. She was a virgin and he would support her. There was, broadly speaking, nothing to be "honest about." Currently, you are not saved from falling on your face by having your partner handed to you like it was in the past. It's nice if your folks are in touch with reality and set you down for a chat, but many of them did not update their view of dating market and can't be helpful. "Just be nice to her" and "just don't sleep around" no. longer. work.

You can't be a traditional man, you have to be somewhat a player. If you are a gentleman, you will be used as a beta orbiter and cry. You can't be a traditional woman, you have to be somewhat a slut. If you are not, you will be traded for somebody who is and cry. Sometimes people get lucky and meet each other in church, but probably it won't be you - because you are like me, you don't go to church and want sex, fun and freedom. All the good stuff.

You will fuck up before you learn. The opposite gender will judge you. As a woman, it might happen that you put out too soon multiple times before you realize this is a bad strategy. Or you will ask for commitment too soon, because your parents were too gentle to explain the unfortunate aspects of dating dynamics. As a man you will be too pushy with girls in your teenage years, as the barriers between sexes have been removed, or you are a virgin, or you used to be white knight and no longer want to be one, or you want to get laid by someone before getting cuffed. I get it. But I am sitting in a comfortable armchair and theorizing. The person sitting in a chair next to yours at a restaurant table is not that understanding, I promise.

Whatever it is all of us did, we absolutely do not have to be honest with our partner/our date, because the only things it will result in is either contempt and raised eyebrows or hurt feelings. Men and women were never the closest people to one another - spouses have historically been quite detached and formal compared to today. And now, we want to a. do casual shit, and b. dump all the shit we did on an innocent stranger and expect sympathy. And then wonder why it did not work out, you were so sweet by telling them the truth and this fucker dumped you!!! Everybody in the right mind will dump you. Get sophisticated.

What we need instead of wide-eyed stupid honesty is diplomacy - an art of walking a tightrope between defecating all our mistakes since grade 2 through our mouthes and outrageous sociopathic lies, which also make the relationship doomed. Ladies and gentlemen, we wanted freedom and casualty and now we are eating this shit with tablespoons.