We have been so conditioned since we are little girls to be "honest" with our feelings and expectations - and we get so used to "heart-to-heart talk" between girls being the way of creating and enforcing bonds, and expect that that is also how it is with the man we are getting to know during dates.

Newsflash ladies - men go into dates the same way they go into strategy games - they are observing, testing the waters, watching your behavior. So the first one to reveal all weaknesses will be the one to lose. And we as a women get so much more to lose. Even him sharing a secret is a strategy - he wants your sympathy and force a bond as soon as possible.

So stop oversharing and laid it all out, and start going into dates being the more private one of the two, and watch him instead. Because it is his job to impress you - NOT the other way around.

Him is the one asking you out on a date means he wants something from you - so HE is the chaser - and YOU are the chooser. Always have, always will be.

That does not mean you become a literal rock and just shut down during the entire date - go on and be flirty, talk about topics, be fun. But also be mysterious and gracefully avoid any private topics or talking about things you aren't comfortable talking about.

And don't be afraid of offending him and turning him off by your lack of willingness to share anything private about yourself - that's a big ol' red flag anyway and you should be thankful you can see it on the first date.

And while we are on the topic - NEVER share any vulnerabilities, EVER. That means no sharing sexual histories, abuse, mental and psychological problems, financial vulnerabilities, insecurities - the lot. Why? Because any of those can be used against you down the line.

If you got lucky and get on with a guy that never use your weakness against you? If not him, then somebody else. You never know what come out of ones mouth when they aren't thinking properly.

So if you are smart, you will never reveal your entire deck. Some secret is meant to stay secret till your deathbed - unless him knowing is an absolute need, a matter of life-or-death (like he needs to watch your prescription when you are out of your mind). Not a pillow talk heart-to-heart routines.

If you feel your heckles raised with this suggestion - ask yourself first why you so desperately need to share those secrets and vulnerabilities with a man?

Venting to your trusted one is one thing - you are just overwhelmed with the situation at the moment and need an outlet to let it go - I understand. But in those instances you aren't spilling a tightly guarded secret - the trusted person is there in that moment of your life, so they lend their shoulder.

But I often enough found women that just can't seem to wait to spill their entire backstories to a stranger - and that kind of inclination is dangerous in the dating world.

If you have this inclination, this need to share every single little thing of you with a man, a stranger - and have an excruciatingly hard time staying secretive - than you need to stop dating and seek therapy. Or at least start doing a serious introspection with your self - if you don't tackle the root problem, you can never do all the FDS strategies effectively.

So keep your lips tight and your eyes open, ladies. Stay safe.