Be careful ladies and especially young women

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-01-03T01:50:09+00:00

I know a VERY young woman at my job who's 24 and her BF is 46 I think? An older woman I talk to every so often pulled the "she's an adult" thing and I wish I would have said "barely."

Thing is, this young woman is also a PickMe because she makes endless excuses for her sh*tty BF and she's religious so "Oh he does so much" "I'm such a sinner" [cringe]

Don't get me started on how he's an ex-con...

I've tried telling her "you roll your eyes when you speak about him and he gives you sh*t...I don't think he's treating you well" and she backpedals and is like "well, it is what it is." A rage inducing phrase.

She's in so deep and the mental gymnastics she goes through must be exhausting.

electroloop · 2022-01-02T22:36:05+00:00

100%.

I was groomed and tricked into having sex with a 39 year old man at age 19 who claimed he was 29. He had me fooled and literally told me his age after he rolled over in bed.

I lost my shit and left immediately. He tried to call me non stop and beg for my forgiveness asking for another chance and how “I’m so mature for my age” and that I wouldn’t have given him a chance or slept with him if I knew his real age.

He’s right, I wouldn’t have given up my body to a man 20 years older than me. I’m sick to my stomach until this day, and that was nearly a decade ago.

Edit: Also now I ask men for ID when I’d go out on dates with them. I’m no longer on the market now, but men found it peculiar that I would ask to see ID on the first date. The story above is the exact reason why.

pinkmailboxes · 2022-01-02T22:38:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

datthingy · 2022-01-03T01:21:58+00:00

Yeah the younger I was, the older the guys that were interested in me. I’m still in my early 20s but now the predatory 30 year olds aren’t interested in me because my self confidence has quadrupled. 🙄

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-02T23:01:58+00:00

We need to stay away from men that are way older than us, AND scrotes our own age. At 17 I was abused by a 17 year old boy. At 18 was abused by a 20 year old boy. Abusers come in every age!! Age gaps are certainly more prone to abuse.

Sewud · 2022-01-03T07:53:28+00:00

There's just no reason for age gaps. Why should men get an extra 10 years to develop themselves to a level on par with women? All these men being like 35 and being like "okay I'm finally ready to settle down with a 25 year old, I feel that age anyway and I feel like mentally I just click more with women that age". First of all, you and all other single men say exactly this. Second of all, what on earth did you do these past 10 years? Why would men be allowed more time to develop than women?

It makes zero sense. It's like "men are seen as full people with lots of qualities they can develop over time, women are only liked for what they are born with - youth and beauty - there's nothing for a woman to develop". First of all, so frustrating and misogynistic. Second of all, you give more time to a loser guy and he doesn't become better with time. The women encouraging this, women saying they like older guys, they should realize the older guy just had more time to fail.

clytemnestra_23 · 2022-01-02T22:39:42+00:00

The BEST case scenario is that the man is emotionally immature and you’ll eventually outpace him in emotional development. You’ll realize he’s a manchild and leave.

The worst is the scenario outlined above. These men have so much more societal power over you. They have more financial power. They will force you to rely on them and get to use you however they want because you are trapped.

My rule of thumb is to not date anyone I wouldn’t have been in high school with in terms of age.

I’m sorry that happened to you, OP. I wish you healing.

pinkmailboxes · 2022-01-02T23:56:06+00:00

You may think you’re mature for your age, at the height of your beauty, and simply irresistible for these reasons, but I promise you—you will see things far differently in hindsight. Older men who go after barely legal women are PREDATORS. They are going after you BECAUSE you don’t know what manipulation looks like. They’re going after you because you’re eager to please and easy to impress. They’re going for you because they want to feel powerful.

In my grandmother’s generation it may have been normal to date someone 8-10 years younger, but it certainly isn’t now. Times have changed. The type of man in his 30s who would go after a 19-year-old is NOT a HVM.

biwinny · 2022-01-03T05:50:19+00:00

I once was in a very bad place and looking to hookup with an older guy. I was 21 he was 36, he said "I love young sl*ts" and then blocked me when I got offended by being called that. Then unblocked me, apologized and offered to pay for an uber to bring me to him. Never pursued an older guy after that.

Also when I was 12, i met a 16/17 year old guy online that told me he was 14. We were friends online for years, talking about school and anime, until I was 17 and he let it slip that he just had his 22nd birthday. We were flirting and sending letters in the mail to each other at that point. Ugh. They don't even have to be old to be predatory, just older than YOU.

gingerandlime · 2022-01-02T23:27:09+00:00

What I like to tell women who are under 25 is to imagine themselves dating someone 4-5 years younger than them. They get the ick immediately and it’s a good way to start thinking about what must be wrong with someone who wants to date someone who’s not on their level or at their stage of life.

Mcccy · 2022-01-02T23:57:27+00:00

Amen. I Just had a fight with my relatives cause of that

I was 👌 close to getting married with a 35 year old man when I was 19 cause I thought he "loved" me and my family apperantly saw nothing wrong with it.

I canceled barely a month before the wedding only cause his sisters put some sense in me.

I was inexperienced, naive and easy to impress. We don't "matUrE FastEr", but at 19 we are KIDS with little to no life experience and a grown ass man should be interested with people around his age.

melympia · 2022-01-03T01:57:15+00:00

Always remember that if a man is looking for a GF among much younger women, he either doesn't stand a chance with women his age (because of severe character flaws) or he doesn't want a woman his own age (because she'd call him out on his bullshit).

MissouriBlue · 2022-01-03T04:14:24+00:00

My Covert Narc Ex who is 46 and still married, targeted his next victim, who is 27 or 28. She has no clue what’s about to happen to her. I wish I could warn her. 🙁

Davina33 · 2022-01-03T09:28:27+00:00

Completely agree. I grew up in an abusive home with drug/drink addicted narcissistic parents. I was kicked out at 17 and I feel my trauma from my parents made me seek out the arms of LVM. Well when I was 20, I met a man who lied about his age. He said he was early 30s, which in hindsight was still too old for me but I sound out 6 months later he was 44!

He was manipulative and abusive. Made me feel inferior because he was white and I'm mixed. The lies got a lot worse and I found out he was sleeping with men behind my back! Please don't be me. These men target teenagers and young women with trauma. As I've worked through my issues and matured, I would never date a man even 5 years older, let alone 24 years older now.

4everdoe · 2022-01-03T04:18:18+00:00

I was groomed as an 18 year old by my 32 year old boss. He told me there was no one else like me and that we should run away together. He told me so many things that made me feel like I was “special.” We didn’t actually date (because he has a much younger fiancé the whole time) but I stayed in contact with him. It was years of him trying to convince me why we should be together. Eventually I got a little older and realized how wrong and sick the situation was. I’m 33 now and although I thought he was my “friend” at the time… it makes me cringe to think of those memories. Stay safe ladies.

Edit: also he was bald and had smol PP. just wanted to make sure y’all knew haha.

WCAttorney · 2022-01-03T02:12:59+00:00

In your teens, go one year up or one year down. When you're over 20, a normal age range would be two up or two down. Over thirty, three years' difference up or down. Anything wider range in age than that, and it's an imbalance of power.

europoor24 · 2022-01-03T12:13:40+00:00

Not just older men. But men in the same age range can spot a naive inexperienced woman can happen at 18-22, and take advantage of her, abuse, coerce, you name it. they can see it on you.

the_princess_peach29 · 2022-01-02T22:24:12+00:00

Sound advice!

Far_from_deceived · 2022-01-02T22:30:23+00:00

EXACTLY. I think age gaps relationships are the open door for being ABUSED. A serious man will not want to have anything with a person who doesn’t have the same maturity in life. They are just interested in manipulating these women.

Every time I see age gaps relationships, a 30 year old with a 40 year old, I get disgusted.

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-03T15:20:41+00:00

Hahaha, no need to warn me, they look completely unfuckable.

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-01-04T02:49:38+00:00

People can really be groomed at any age especially if they are at a vulnerable timein their life. My parents were killed in an accident and I had some big troubles with my siblings when I was only 26. I was groomed by a 41 year old man at that time and it really made the situation I was going through so much worse.

makeawomancum · 2022-03-28T15:37:25+00:00

💜

Title	Be careful ladies and especially young women
Author	pinkmailboxes
Upvotes	958
Comments	55
Date	January 2, 2022 10:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rul2wn/be_careful_ladies_and_especially_young_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/be-careful-ladies-and-especially-young-women.1093026 https://theredarchive.com/post/1093026

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