TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Guy I was talking to defends his misogynistic comments and covers them up as banter and jokes with his friends and tells me if I won’t accept him then to leave which I did. I can’t accept him for who he is because I don’t reward pornsick, misogynists

pinkmailboxes

November 10, 2021

494 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Post Information

Title	Guy I was talking to defends his misogynistic comments and covers them up as banter and jokes with his friends and tells me if I won’t accept him then to leave which I did. I can’t accept him for who he is because I don’t reward pornsick, misogynists
Author	pinkmailboxes
Upvotes	494
Comments	104
Date	November 10, 2021 2:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qqkca5/guy_i_was_talking_to_defends_his_misogynistic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/guy-i-was-talking-to-defends-his-misogynistic.1084939 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084939

Comments

[–]PossibleCookFDS Apprentice 708 points709 points710 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 247 points248 points249 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]AlegalHumanFDS Newbie 73 points74 points75 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PossibleCookFDS Apprentice 156 points157 points158 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 115 points116 points117 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I dumped a male "friend" who'd literally known me since birth (son of family friends) because he put down a female friend of mine at her birthday party. Apparently he was intimidated by her awesomeness and was secretly bitter that she dated younger men (instead of older ones like him, hah). So he snarked behind her back to anyone who would listen.

I wasn't there because I had to travel for work but was especially offended by it because he only knew my friend through me. I had to dump him as a conciliatory gesture but also as self protection. He was obviously addicted to betrayal, had a personality disorder and attachment disorder. He was a covert emotional batterer for whom feelings of attraction turn quickly to rage. Fuck that.

I never explained to him why I vanished. 20 years later, he still plies people with questions about why I dropped contact. It should be obvious but I guess he never knew it was possible for women to side with women against a man.

Anyway, it's funny when you don't bother to explain and they twist in the wind.

[–]AveryhvwFDS Newbie 234 points235 points236 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 191 points192 points193 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nami_Swan_ 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]dembar126FDS Newbie 323 points324 points325 points 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 145 points146 points147 points 4 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]dembar126FDS Newbie 109 points110 points111 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]Xx_SwordWords_xXFDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 86 points87 points88 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Xx_SwordWords_xXFDS Newbie 94 points95 points96 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 76 points77 points78 points 4 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

For real! I had to make anime and video games deal breakers because after two LV men I met (him included) who adore that stuff (all he does is stream everyday) always end up being the most misogynistic incels. They always play and support the worst, toxic games or watch the worst anime too. For example, he would always play Valorant and it is very toxic and misogynistic game towards women not because of the game itself but because of the type of men who play it. Imagine a world where only women played video games like Valorant. That would be a dream. I remember he also played Paladins and all the scantily characters 🤢 But don’t get me started on my NVX who was way more into anime and a bit into games. I can’t trust men who enjoy these things especially if they label it as a “hobby”

[–]ivory_727Pickmeisha™️ 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]peachtartxFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]The_Cat_EmpressFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]The_Cat_EmpressFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]peachtartxFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ninnyDoesStuff 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Xx_SwordWords_xXFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ToiIetGhost 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]softensonicFDS Newbie 63 points64 points65 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]scorchedsouIFDS Newbie 84 points85 points86 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Academic_Snow_7680 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_xyoungbellax_FDS Apprentice 96 points97 points98 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 31 points32 points33 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]_xyoungbellax_FDS Apprentice 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Antique_Fortune6974FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]queenofswordsxxxFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

The saddest part I think he really is emotionally abusive. I was the only person close to him IRL. He literally has NO ONE besides his grandma. All these gaming buddies are random dudes he has never met, but he worships every single one of them like he actually knows them. It’s crazy to me to see that he’d rather hang out with misogynistic dudes that he doesn’t even know over someone who has been nothing but supportive towards him in person up until this point. Also, there was a few other times where I should have just got rid of him. We were watching YT on his TV and he follows a guy who had really p0rnsick thumbnails and comments. We fought about it and he told me that he feels like I was the one bullying him. He was victimizing himself for having that content on his YT 😂 He’s the kind of person who can’t accept fault for anything so it always would fall back onto me at least I can admit when I’m wrong. But I knew I wasn’t in the wrong for that. This dude was definitely emotionally abusive and it really makes you wonder why he has no buddies in person and why all his exes dumped him. Thanks to FDS, I know to just block and delete now when I find out the truth or when he breaks my boundaries. No explanation from me. Just block and delete

[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frostedgemstoneFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]londochigFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]alpinepunch2021FDS Newbie 180 points181 points182 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lansburysodaFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WorkaholicPartyFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]WorkaholicPartyFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ninja_Flower_LadyFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]queenofswordsxxxFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]_cnz_FDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 114 points115 points116 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

For context: He would always say really misogynistic shit with his friends on his Twitch streams. A bunch of p0rn and beating women comments disguised as “jokes.” He also made a comment about his friend hooking up with a girl and how he hooked up with her because he “put it in,” which made me feel like he was referring to her as a human sex doll. He talked about railing a video game character who looked like a p0rn star. ALL THE RED FLAGS. Games and anime are now deal breakers for me thanks to him. I ended things with him a few days ago, but I wanted him off my Spotify. Legit the only reason I contacted him again was so I could get him off my Spotify. Of course he was really selfish and inconsiderate about it. He took forever to unfollow me. He already knew that I switched Spotify accounts and only after this conversation he unfollows me. OF COURSE! If he wanted to then he would. I knew he was dragging it on and provoking me. Also, I’m planning to report his Twitch for hate speech

[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]scorchedsouIFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GodILoveTheEnglishFDS Newbie 56 points57 points58 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Salt_SatisfactionFDS Disciple 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Davina33FDS Disciple 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Davina33FDS Disciple 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Davina33FDS Disciple 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KindredMaximusFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

lol, he didn't get it - he wanted you to accept who he was and STAY. He thinks you're breaking up with him because you can't accept him for who he is and he's all angry and defensive.

Except you HAVE accepted him for who he is - and it just means, that you don't accept it in your personal relationships. It doesn't mean you don't accept him. You're not telling him to change. You've drawn a line and really it is the ONLY thing you can do - fighting with someone to change, or allowing them to wear you down to accept their behaviour is a zero sum game - and you lose, every single time.

He's getting confused between you judging him (you're not) and you not wanting to be with him (you accept him but you have your boundary). So, he is also pretty stupid and his incomprehension is a red flag. You dodged a bullet.

HOLD THE LINE!!!!! (and good on you)

[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Guyincognito9876FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thewetdog_Ruthless Strategist 52 points53 points54 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Too much words and you set yourself up for failure.

I’ll explain: not only should you have blocked and deleted him asap, not engaged after he said what he said, but instead you were serving on a silver platter the opportunity for this guy tu lie to you.

You’re literally asking him to tell you what you want to hear.

Which in this case, is the opposite of what he’d just said. In writing.

Most women aren’t so lucky. Most men won’t admit to labels, won’t admit to wrongdoing and won’t admit they won’t change. They will leave us to sort through the disappointment, through their mask slipping, through their words not matching their actions and force us to draw conclusions from that place of no winning.

You were BLESSED that this guy instead spelled it out for you and you didn’t waste precious time. And still you were trying to get him to “reconfirm” he wasn’t gonna change?

What if he had baby-you’re-right-im-sorry-ed you?

Never ever give a man the chance to convince you or sweet talk with what you want to hear.

As soon as you have the truth, dip.

Never ask a man if he’s sure he doesn’t want to change for you. It’s like begging someone to do right by you.

Lastly, don’t waste your energy. Learn to see when there is no true negotiation taking place just begging.

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]thewetdog_Ruthless Strategist 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaylesta 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can get a real sense of the disdain he has for women. Well, unless he plans on starting a romantic relationship with his friends, he shouldn’t be basing his expectations for a relationship on what he does with his friends. Men are always making this mistake. Notice how it’s never women doing this? Men/boys expect their gf to hang with their mates, adjust to their standards, their humour etc. then you just become one of ThE BoYs + bang maid and these things are never reciprocated. I wasted all of my teenage years and early 20s doing this. The upside to this misogynistic narcissism and entitlement is that it is usually very explicit, therefore easy to avoid. You put him in the bin where he belongs, OP! Now we can all laugh about him complaining about BiTcHeS as he drinks shitty beer with his shitty mates while struggling to get a booty call then having a sad wank before bed

[–]kansascitydreamFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peak_TreeFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]FlockAroundtheClockFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Owl-rightFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EricaeatscarrotsFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ok-Yogurtcloset3467FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RabidWenchFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]shockingupdateFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]idestroythingsfora-FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]aurelia_86FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]aurelia_86FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]queenofswordsxxxFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pinkmailboxesFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]The_Cat_EmpressFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]randomdazeeFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Basem3ntFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Efflights6FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]hushpuppyebtFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]dating-adventuresFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]xfelugirlxFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter