Have you found that men on OLD lie about wanting/looking for a relationship just to get laid?

cinderella_rising · 2022-01-13T04:55:25+00:00

In other news, water is wet. 😉

warinmymind94 · 2022-01-13T06:50:47+00:00

First off, never have anything in your OLD profile like "looking for a serious relationship/ hoping to settle down / no Games /no hookups" and don't mention that you're looking for a relationship to them. They will just mimic and play the role of also wanting a relationship.

Even when you listen to that advice above, yes a LOT of the OLD clowns will pretend to be looking for a relationship and play the part anyways. Fear not! This is why we have vetting strategies. Men that are just pretending to want a relationship will have a mask slip: they'll start aging hot cold and bread crumbling, they'll offer drinks/walks and last minute things instead of properly planned real dates, they'll push for sex very quickly.

Spittens · 2022-01-13T05:13:36+00:00

Are you just getting into OLD (or back into after a loooooong break)? I would say this is the vast, vast majority of men on any app, from tinder to the allegedly more relationship oriented ones.

Ana_jp · 2022-01-13T04:52:36+00:00

Yea. Yes they do. I’d say most of the ones on Hinge certainly are.

Really the only way to see if a man is honest is time. And to never tell them your expectations. Let him be himself, and then you decide if you want to date him after many, many dates.

Davina33 · 2022-01-13T08:22:55+00:00

I would say most men claiming to want a relationship are looking for hook ups. They know they'll get more matches that way. Now the only way around that is to make them wait a very long time while you vet them. Most men won't hang around and that's far better than being used and feeling awful.

We've got to be much smarter and to be fair, it's not difficult. Most men are not intelligent enough to hide their true intentions for long.

Competitive_Bar8657 · 2022-01-13T05:22:06+00:00

Yes! One guy said he's looking for wifey, we texted for week and talked about deep topics, didn't even meet he got hot and cold on day 3, then asked to come over on 5. I declined and he blocked me.

Next guy was love-bombing and texting, I was busy. He asked a million questions, started calling, sent gift when I traveled for work. Never asked me out but said he'll come over to cuddle if I ask. Then week of texting. One day he just went silent and posted pics from parties on IG, that's after 2+ weeks of non-stop calling and talking and getting to know me. I blocked because I felt too much anxiety.

Another guy asked me out right away, we had a great date, he sent me a nude right after it. I didn't respond. He double texted that we should hang at his place next time. I declined, he said he needs to vet for sexual compatibility or he won't date me, I said I'm not like that, he wished me luck :)

Another guy didn't go far, we talked about our similar interests and he said "I'm perfect gf", I said we can find out if he asks me out, he said "haha". After 4 days of texting he invites me over cause he has a jacuzzi. I declined, he responded with laughing emoji, I unmatched.

All these men stated they wanted relationships in their bio. I've talked to +15 men who straight up asked me for a hookup as a first line. This was enough to delete OLD.

EarthKveik · 2022-01-13T10:03:21+00:00

They lie without hesitation or conscience. We're not human to most of them. Once you realise that, it's easier to block and delete the shit you have to wade through on these sites.

I see OLD as a backup strategy. Getting out and pursuing hobbies or other pleasurable interests with others is more likely to be fruitful, but since there are only so many opportunities to do this, dating apps could be a way to improve the odds, but it's still a game of shitebag roulette.

melympia · 2022-01-13T13:06:53+00:00

Some easily tell on themselves. 40+, "looking for a relationship" and "want children eventually". At 40+. That's the classic hook, line and sinker. Don't go for it.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-01-13T05:57:52+00:00

I know for a fact they do. In my pickme days, I was actually friends with a few fuckboys who told me that it was easier to get laid if they say they are looking for a relationship.

Goddess forgive me for my atrocious behaviour of actually having friendships with these vile creatures.

souredskittles · 2022-01-13T10:10:50+00:00

Yes these are the guys that fail at casual relationships. They know they can’t get ONS or FWB or at least not frequent enough that they know getting into a relationship would give them consistent safe sex.

The sheer amount of them on tinder should be evidence that they are mainly searching for sex. Otherwise most women would have not been scared off the apps.

Follow fds and trust me that weeds out a lot of them. And the rest you’ll have to go with your gut. There was actual reading material here that had objective checkpoints that men encounter in their lives that can be an indication of him sincerely wanting to settle down. Like being financial stable, has been living on his own for about 4 years etc

SeaNegotiation8 · 2022-01-13T07:33:31+00:00

Just wanted to share my friend’s vetting strategy for OLD:

She says she has two profiles - one with her real bio and pictures, and a fake profile of a similar looking woman that’s “just looking for casual fun NSA” (aka casual sex).

If she meets a man on OLD who seems promising and claims to want a relationship, she’ll message him from the fake profile. If he responds to the dummy profile and tries to hit up her doppelgänger for no-strings-attached sex, she blocks and deletes him from her real profile.

I’m not on OLD myself, so I can’t personally vouch for its efficacy, but she says she has a grand old time blocking lying assholes left and right.

Who knows, it might be a good vetting strategy.

Amazing_Wolverine_37 · 2022-01-13T05:22:45+00:00

I'm not sure if you can be sure. For me it was dating the "marriage minded" religious gentleman. Keep wondering why he presented himself as such when he had someone else pregnant. Men really seem to think that we are navigating this sea of potential matches out there but 2/3rds are not remotely, and I mean remotely dateable. And at least half are already in a relationship or situationship. Not. Good. Odds.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-13T15:54:54+00:00

When I dated pre-OLD, men always lied about wanting a relationship in order to get laid. I can't imagine it being any better when they can lie without looking you in the eye at the same time.

That's the most common pitfall you're screening for in dating, isn't it?

lansburysoda · 2022-01-13T04:56:52+00:00

Is the sky blue?

vbych76 · 2022-01-13T07:53:44+00:00

OLD is like fast food. Unhealthy and unfulfilling. Have you ever wondered why so many men refer to those apps as " free sex"? I'm sure you hear successful stories too - a friend of a friend got married to his tinder match. But the truth is, all men there (ALL), choose this way as a shortcut, to get "something" fast, to "order" an ego boost and hopefully some sex, they can't get outside in the real world. Do you really want to have a relationship with a man, that prefers to have it on easy mode, when they're trying to find their life partner? A man that wants to be with whomever agrees to give them the time of day?

shoesfromparis135 · 2022-01-13T14:30:24+00:00

I find that men everywhere lie about wanting relationships when they really mean sex. It gets old. Why lie when you can just find someone who also wants a hook up? Why do you have to waste someone’s time and hurt them to get your dick wet?

This is my least favourite thing about men. They will look for any excuse to hit on you and drag you into a fake relationship so they can get sex. I’m over it.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-13T06:08:12+00:00

That’s literally 90% of everyone on dating sites

_queeeen_ · 2022-01-16T21:49:20+00:00

I think you can only tell this for sure by getting to know each other over time. Talk is cheap. Take your time getting involved sexually. If that's all he's after, he'll give up pretty readily if you're not making it easy.

Title	Have you found that men on OLD lie about wanting/looking for a relationship just to get laid?
Author	dating-adventures
Upvotes	320
Comments	58
Date	January 13, 2022 4:09 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s2q2ur/have_you_found_that_men_on_old_lie_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/have-you-found-that-men-on-old-lie-about.1096486 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096486

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