‘My husband refuses to pay my student loans.’ His reason? I took out the loans before we were together. Is there some loophole to get him to pay? Answer: No.

thisismymgtowaccount · 2022-02-03T15:22:28+00:00

Many years ago I was dating a girl who had racked up about $40k worth of student debt, plus another $15k on credit cards before we got together. About a year into the relationship, she talked about moving in with me to "save on bills". That was a wake-up call to me, and we broke up shortly after that. Dodged a bullet by not marrying her.

rulingthewake243 · 2022-02-03T13:22:57+00:00

"You may want to consider an income driven repayment plan" means get back to work!

Wlng-Man · 2022-02-03T13:12:54+00:00

"My wife refuses to pay for my loans. How can I get her to pay for it?"

Unlucky-Pomegranate3 · 2022-02-03T13:29:23+00:00

If you’re seeking a loophole to financially trap your husband, then he’s right not to throw money at you in the first place.

Hopefully, he’ll choose better on his next wife.

AzLibDem · 2022-02-03T13:32:22+00:00

I am married but unemployed, and my husband refuses to pay my student loans, which I had before we were dating. Do I have access to the money? Yes. But if I were to touch it, it could cause a divorce because he feels that it’s not his responsibility, as we were not together at the time I acquired the student loans. Is there any way to get out of it? Or is there some type of loophole? I haven’t worked in years. I don’t even know how I would repay these back on my own.

It really does sound like she only married him for his income. He needs to walk away as fast as possible.

JudoMo2 · 2022-02-03T14:43:42+00:00

Taking out loans to go to school to get a good job then not going out to get that job? Seems like a bad investment. She might as well bought a lifetime gym membership

Throwaway90618 · 2022-02-03T14:24:43+00:00

Feminsts will still call her a strong queen

RobNHood816 · 2022-02-03T13:30:36+00:00

Sounds about Right... Good for him !!

infamusforever223 · 2022-02-03T15:52:14+00:00

Finances will ruin a relationship faster than anything else. Nobody wants to be with someone who is a burden to them.

Gr_ywind · 2022-02-03T16:24:48+00:00

I am married but unemployed, and my husband refuses to pay my student loans

I haven’t worked in years.

I don’t even know how I would repay these back on my own.

Truly a tough one, I don't even know where to begin to solve this two piece jigsaw puzzle.

ndndr1 · 2022-02-03T14:08:29+00:00

If they’re married isn’t this going to affect both of them if defaults?

MR_Shigitoshi · 2022-02-03T19:02:17+00:00

Imagine the reaction if a man posted that he's unemployed and wants his breadwinner wife to pay off his loans? He would be tarred and feathered. But since it is an itty bitty oppressed women, it's just shrugged off. When will this oppression stop?

cereusundulatus · 2022-02-03T14:54:27+00:00

Learn to take responsibility for your own actions.

btbamcolors · 2022-02-03T18:34:42+00:00

Ha! I told my ex that would help pay off her $80k in student loans off if we got married, but I didn’t want to have a kid until we were out of debt. Three years later, she left because I didn’t want to have a kid in debt, leaving me with an unused engagement ring.

2022-02-03T16:14:37+00:00

Just when I think it's be nice to have someone in my life, I get a gentle reminder like this that I'm better off single.

ArthurHaroldKaneJnr · 2022-02-04T01:55:37+00:00

Her use of the word "loophole" (a means of escaping responsibility) indicates a subconscious awareness she's being unreasonable.

Rounder057 · 2022-02-03T13:57:34+00:00

I’m fine with the husbands stance but I have a question, and I don’t know the answer, didn’t he marry Into her debt?

plzraiders-nodui · 2022-02-03T15:28:52+00:00

Why are some American women like this lmao

What do you do with privilege you're born with

Smacktardius · 2022-02-03T14:22:54+00:00

Just a typical delusional woman. And there are many.

Don't let yourselves be treated as nothing more than utilities, men.

East_Onion · 2022-02-04T10:41:09+00:00

You keep calling it a “student loan” yet you don’t work and haven’t done anything with it or created any value with it.

Let’s just be honest, it wasn’t a “student loan” it was a “party for 3 years and get fucked loan”

MastermindX · 2022-02-03T21:04:56+00:00

Why get a degree if she just wanted to be a stay at home wife and never work? Someone could have gone to university instead of this woman and put their degree to good use.

drtapp39 · 2022-02-04T11:41:00+00:00

Getting married is not an excuse to use "traditional roles" to freeloader off of someone for life.

KellySummerlin · 2022-02-04T15:04:40+00:00

I anticipate she might get pregnant to prove a point, that she cannot reasonably be expected to work anymore. He can’t back out of paternity. That’s my guess of what will come next.

AzLibDem · 2022-02-03T14:35:23+00:00

If she decides to divorce him she could presumably take half of their assets accumulated during the marriage, regardless of whether she contributed financially or not.

Yipsta · 2022-02-03T17:14:18+00:00

Why do people think other people should pay for their financial decisions

corndog_corgi · 2022-02-03T21:42:46+00:00

Whoever this is, is a shit stain. Complete fucking asshole to try and pin their responsibility onto their partner while admitting they have the means to pay them themselves but 'just don't wanna'? Fuck you entirely.

Otherwise-Ad-3571 · 2022-02-04T14:39:57+00:00

I'm so sick of people taking out student loans, getting great jobs and stiffing the taxpayers.

Take the loan? Pay it back.

python1982 · 2022-02-04T19:09:01+00:00

Be careful gentlemen, women hold 2/3 of all student debt

TimBeckwith · 2022-02-03T14:19:27+00:00

I'm so tired of the expectation to just have people take care of your shit for you

monoform · 2022-02-04T03:38:51+00:00

I don't know why people don't hire someone to do a background investigation on a potential spouse? I'd want to know exactly who I'm marrying. Criminal record? Previous marriages? Debt? Relatives? Education? Are they already married? All of it. I would never propose before doing this. And make sure that you only pick up the results in person.

Kuranator · 2022-02-08T03:00:24+00:00

Hellz no pay your bills... why do women assume men will pay for everything

Ok-Cauliflower-2288 · 2022-02-13T09:41:47+00:00

Modern Day Slaves are in Debt, think about that.

Zprutluder · 2022-02-03T14:46:27+00:00

This is why you don't marry useless trash with no income and full of debts

Radiant_Original6968 · 2022-02-03T17:53:09+00:00

Why should he have to pay student loans for a degree he didn’t get wtf😂

Accomplished_Side503 · 2022-02-03T14:01:22+00:00

Just who do you think you are? Cut back on the BonnBons

Ridethelightning1987 · 2022-02-03T17:19:39+00:00

The fact she even asks this made me realize I never want to be married. Hell I probably live by myself forever

SleepDeprivedUserUK · 2022-02-03T18:40:41+00:00

Women: "I don't need no man!"

Also women: "Plz daddy, help with student loan uwu 👉🏻👈🏻"

Grant: "Grant’s advice: “You must have some skills if these are student loans. The job market is the best it has been in the recent past. Now’s a good time to be looking and I would encourage you to get a job and be financially independent.”"

Miserable-Lemon · 2022-02-04T00:25:58+00:00

Notice how her entire strategy was "Find a man and trap him financially". Her next year will be spent trying to divorce him to dump the loan on him.

Mordagawa · 2022-02-04T04:32:02+00:00

“Not obligated to your debt, silly hoe!”

JOREVEUSA · 2022-02-03T17:42:24+00:00

Help is nice... she not asking for help

ydoesittastelikethat · 2022-02-03T18:04:12+00:00

I've got the craziest idea ever, I'm surprised no one thought of it yet.

PAY BACK YOUR LOANS!!!

cuzwhat · 2022-02-04T02:04:52+00:00

When I got divorced, I got the house with the underwater six-figure mortgage, and she got the doctorate with six-figure student loan.

Best $300 I ever spent. Thanks, LegalZoom!

Capital-Swim-9885 · 2022-02-04T05:18:09+00:00

bullet caught

alexdefreitas · 2022-02-04T06:59:49+00:00

Could also be posted to r/entitledbitch

blgiant · 2022-02-04T08:42:24+00:00

Man, that sounds like a great relationship on both their parts

BowtiepastaMasta · 2022-02-04T12:13:49+00:00

Solution is simple. Go. To. Work.

Investigater108 · 2022-02-04T15:26:53+00:00

Get a job smh

Bearis4B · 2022-02-08T05:15:10+00:00

That's sick and very manipulative.

MY debt is MINE. I have too much pride to let anyone pay for MY debt. Even if I got married, it's still MY debt not my husbands.

someCrookedVulture · 2022-02-11T22:29:28+00:00

“I haven’t worked in years. I don’t even know how I would repay these back on my own.”

Her critical thinking skills tell me she may be entitled to a refund on that education she received.

Chris_Canucksfan · 2022-02-13T18:25:46+00:00

My ex not only racked up debt but did so fraudulently. I answered her phone once (days before call display was mainstream), turned out it was a debt collector and she owed over $5000 and hadn't paid any of it yet because she was constantly dodging him for over a year. That's pretty much when I ended things with her.

mrkabin · 2022-02-03T13:51:43+00:00

This is one of those things that should have been worked out before marriage. Also, not enough info on why she isn't working. There is simply not enough information to figure out who the bad guy is here, although the implication is that it is the woman: How much, how long, kids, other debt, is he willing to assist in a mutually acceptable arrangement. The biggest question is why she won't /can't work.

RufusGeneva · 2022-02-03T14:45:37+00:00

I felt that I married the whole package so we worked together to pay off her loans. Worked for me because she, as a nurse, literally saved my life. She’s My Hero. I do not know if it was karma or just two in love working together to solve a problem.

yesimian · 2022-02-03T20:26:42+00:00

Why tf do you go to college if you have no intention on getting a job? Lazy dumbass. You CHOSE to take out the loans. It is now YOUR responsibility to pay them off. You're an adult, act like it.

DancesWithTrout · 2022-02-03T15:17:08+00:00

This is an issue older single people face. If you're young it might not be that big a deal, since you don't have much in the way of assets. But if you're older and enter into a romantic relationship with someone it can be pretty risky. You have some wealth, maybe you've accumulated a lot of assets over the years. Maybe you're a widow or widower. And now you meet someone. Fall in love. And it turns out they're a financial trainwreck. You just might marry yourself into a goddam nightmare.

Long after my dad died my mom started dating again. She met a guy. Wanted to get married. He seemed like a nice enough guy. But who the hell knows? I made him give me his pertinent information, name, date of birth, SS#, etc. Ran a background check on him. Even had a private detective check up on him.

Turns out he was fine. He had TWO nice pensions. Owned a home outright. Did NOT need or want my mom's money. Etc. But it was still money well spent on my part.

darekjohansen · 2022-02-04T04:06:28+00:00

Grow up

2022-02-03T15:54:47+00:00

That’s a based husband for you. 💀🔥

dp1967 · 2022-02-03T18:46:31+00:00

Nooooo

tinez1987 · 2022-02-03T19:46:21+00:00

I would dump her ass so quick. Like damn get a job like the rest of us.

SnooTangerines6857 · 2022-02-03T17:26:42+00:00

I didn’t think women like this existed 😂

bigbrainonb-rad · 2022-02-03T19:08:31+00:00

There is a lot of context missing here. If my wife had student loans and we decided she would stay home to raise the kids and I’d continue to work, I would 100% expect to pay off the student loans with my income.

livelarg · 2022-02-04T05:38:42+00:00

So, she went to school, what hasn’t she worked in several years?? I ask, because if she is not working to take care of kids, or at his request, then he should pay the loans. This isn’t the whole story here. This does not sound like a good relationship

campodelviolin · 2022-02-03T16:07:52+00:00

I am an at home husband. My wife and I were similarly educated, with similar work experience and similar paying jobs, but I stopped working early because our daughter and my father needed a lot of time. We have our own separate accounts from which we put equal amounts into a bill paying account for all the expenses of the family, and we continued this arrangement even after I stopped working. Wife kept working. Dad died, and the family as a whole had gotten used to me being around all the time dealing with childcare and household issues, so I didn't go back to work. Wife does not want me to go out of town or make plans that interfere with my household or childcare duties, so over time I'm becoming pretty resentful about this as she continues spending her time making money which is largely unshared, while I spend my time taking care of family issues which are shared and which I get paid $0 for. I think it's unfair of someone to bring a liability into a relationship, then complain somebody else didn't absorb it for them. Despite my unequal and possibly very unfair relationship w.r.t. time and income, I am repulsed by this attitude; it seems like she's trying to find some trap to use her spouse. She should get a job and pay her debt. However, if she is pressured into childcare and homemaking and primarily spends her time on those services to the family, then I agree that Hubs better pay up. The working spouse can use the child as hostage and that's a powerful weapon.

That comment is worth reading.

HKatzOnline · 2022-02-03T15:39:54+00:00

There have been a few comments and some were jumping to the "well, if you are staying home taking care of children route" - it does not seem that this is the case here, she just doesn't have a job. Taking care of children IS a job, but not mentioned her and it is kind of strange that commenters were jumping the shark to make an excuse for how the husband was wrong. Writer even indicated in article that it is one of the best job markets in a while now and a job would be a good idea - commenting that since she went to college, she must have some skills.

moltenrock · 2022-02-03T18:03:05+00:00

I’m guessing there’s an “oooopsie baby” in the equation because marriage should be an all in situation - you should already have vetted the “she/he’s the one for me” question and go forward as a team with consolidated goals and outlooks to achieve your life bliss…. If there’s a question of debt and loans and one partner not being part of the equitable commitment to going forward as a team, then there should be no marriage in the first place. The obvious “get a job” answer gets complicated w/ kids in the mix - but equally she can get a job and transfer at least 50% of the cost of child care on the dad - so if there’s a will there’s a way.

MarcusOReallyYes · 2022-02-04T12:43:53+00:00

I paid my wife’s student loans with my first big bonus after we were married. I could’ve bought a Ferrari or something stupid, instead I just clicked “pay” on the online form and she was free from that burden.

I love my wife.

She didn’t ask me to do it. She didn’t expect me to do it. But it was the right thing to do. That’s what being a man means.

She works in her field and makes solid money now, and the money she used to have to pay for her loans goes instead into a 529 for our children. She’s paying it forward. They won’t have student loans because of her.

Not all women suck. Find yourself a good one bros.

CrackerSnack98 · 2022-02-03T15:49:58+00:00

This is dumb if you are married you should combined all yalls debt and work together to get rid of it

threequartersbaked · 2022-02-03T16:46:55+00:00

I mean, if she's staying home with kids, her husband should share some of his income with her, which she could put towards her loans.

If she's just staying home for no reason, she should get a job.

This should have also been discussed before marriage and/or kids.

asiangangster007 · 2022-02-03T19:52:49+00:00

Wait this doesn't say anything about a woman. Why are we making assumptions?

nosteppyonsneky · 2022-02-03T14:37:20+00:00

This is 2 people being stupid. If she works, the group income still goes to repay loans.

People don’t seem understand how budgets work.

Charmeleonn · 2022-02-03T18:39:06+00:00

Once youre married, aren't debts shared?

Atlas88- · 2022-02-03T18:56:55+00:00

This marriage arrangement is strange to me. My wife and I both work full time and we split everything. I literally make a spreadsheet with all the outstanding bills on payday, take the sum and divide by two. Then we both pay that to clear the sheet and the rest is play/savings.

Dad-man · 2022-02-03T20:54:06+00:00

What if she dies?

Missusmidas · 2022-02-03T21:03:05+00:00

The IRS can garnish any refund if she has federal loans. He needs to file Form 8379, Injured Spouse Relief, to receive any refund that he is eligible for.

IntraVnusDemilo · 2022-02-03T22:02:35+00:00

What's wrong with some women?? I'm too proud to take handouts. I always pay my way, and more, when I can.

professorjaytee · 2022-02-04T00:50:46+00:00

If their relationship is shitty, this might be the only reason she married him.

Writer_B · 2022-02-04T03:07:28+00:00

Hehehehe..nude Tayne...

e1doradocaddy · 2022-02-04T07:15:09+00:00

Head

MaizeBeast01 · 2022-02-08T09:46:33+00:00

Jesus

Starski09 · 2022-05-22T08:00:04+00:00

Ahahahaha, meanwhile my two best friends did the opposite and paid off all their debt and wonder why they still don't love them.

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