Valentine’s Day cringe

Tzarzarina · 2022-02-17T02:05:22+00:00

If only men knew how much more attractive they could be to us if they showered, shaved, put effort into clothing (no more basketball shorts, sweatpants, or saggy jeans 3 sizes too big PLEASE), and wore cologne maybe they’d realize it takes less effort than their Machiavellian manipulative tactics

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-02-17T01:44:24+00:00

All these dirty T-shirt guys could find decent clothes in an instant if their friends wanted to go to a club together to chase other women.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-02-17T00:34:58+00:00

There's nothing superficial about expecting someone to match your effort.

A guy can literally go get a haircut and pull together a nice outfit in the time it takes most of us to get ready from scratch.

asianinindia · 2022-02-17T02:26:39+00:00

There is nothing superficial about expecting someone to give you basic courtesy. The least someone can do is look nice for a special occasion. If they can't do that then they don't respect their partner.

MacrameGoose34 · 2022-02-17T02:50:59+00:00

Wanting your man to dress well isn't superficial. Wanting your partner to get plastic surgery because you're pornsick is superficial. Society calling you superficial for Wanting a partner on your level is brainwashing.

catsandcafes · 2022-02-17T00:55:59+00:00

I really don’t understand when men can’t see that a nice suit and tie is so damn sexy.

Or the classic sweater with the collar peeking out and nice slacks. Oof 😍

Thestral-glow6 · 2022-02-17T01:13:13+00:00

You’re absolutely not wrong for thinking this. I’m sick of seeing it too. You just know those same low effort, unwashed scrotes would be the first to complain and judge those women if they matched their energy and just stopped making effort.

hiphopanonymous98 · 2022-02-17T01:28:38+00:00

I completely agree. I’ve also seen way too many WEDDINGS where the guy wears dark jeans, button down shirt, and a vest while the woman wears a gorgeous gown. It’s pathetic. Try.

warinmymind94 · 2022-02-17T04:22:26+00:00

Someone recently posted a photo of a couple getting married on fds, she's all dolled up in a nice gown and he's in a t shirt and jeans and looks like he rolled out of bed... and yeah that's what they pretty much look like to me when I see a couple irl where she put in effort and he didn't.

I went on social media just to see the couples post. Almost all the posts were made by women who posted cute, flattering couples pics and wrote heartfelt, cute captions about how they appreciate and love him.

The one man that did write a post for his wife wrote "happy Valentines to my wife. You pick me up when I'm not the best and make me feel better. You make me laugh, cry, and fun in fear." - He described a pickme that gives gives gives and how he's being benefitted. Oof

Another good one was made my a pickme who I still bump into because of work reasons. She wrote "happy first Valentines to my lovely husband my forever Valentine. Words cannot describe how lucky I am to have married you! I know I'm not perfect but we have never given up on each other. I will stick by your side through thick and thin. Thanks for loving me! Thanks for not giving up on me when I had health issues." 😬 another big yikes.

Seeing the Valentines day couples on my social media was so much cringe and I'm glad I'm single. A lot of people really do settle into trash relationships

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-02-17T01:30:30+00:00

Once you’ve dated a guy that wears a suit or some nice slacks to dinner with you, I cannot imagine dating a guy that wears jeans instead! Men that really put effort into their appearance (hair, skin, clothing, shoes, cologne) can look so damn irresistible.

Melodic_Narwhal_8968 · 2022-02-17T02:04:59+00:00

I don’t think you’re being superficial. It’s about care and respect! Graphic tees and dirty jeans on a date …. = Lack of respect, 0 care. I don’t wear dresses often but decided to wear a simple black dress out to dinner, I expected my boyfriend to wear something like a nice button down/pants because that would be appropriate for the place we were dining at. He’s not the flashy type so he exceeded those expectations and showed up in a suit, tie, “dressed to the nines” with a bouquet of flowers in hand, a gift of quality art supplies Ive had my eye on, card, a hand-drawn map of all the places we adventured to the past year with inside jokes sprinkled in.

Stark contrast to my ex husband…Who “hated valentines” and didn’t buy flowers because they “just die” but would happily spend money on gaming and porn. Whenever he did something “nice” for me, it was held over my head when I asked for more quality time. Doing even a menial task or favor justified gaming into the night and emotionally/physically neglecting me on the daily because he was “streeeEsed” . Ugh. I really learned how to be happy alone during that relationship, because I always was.

Never settle!

There is one rule I go by which was given to me by my grandmother, she said always pay attention to how they treat other people (servers, customer service, strangers, friends, family) she said that Kindness is key, and you can learn a lot about a person by how they treat others.

ceramicunicorn · 2022-02-17T05:54:18+00:00

Men used to dress quite dapper. They’re entirely capable as beings of doing it. No heels, no waist cinchers, nothing painful to wear. If it’s hot, remove the jacket, that’s fine.

They did it because it was socially expected of them. If a dress code became a new social expectation not just for formal events or nice venues, but just for dates in order to have access to female bodies- just as was done 100 years ago- the ones you want would oblige, the rest would self-select out.

Most men take the path of least resistance in dating whenever they can. I don’t know why they do it, because it’s a terrible strategy to land a woman (who is spending an hour getting ready)- I guess because the power grab is actually more important than the woman. They’ll almost put more energy into bucking her pleas, than it would take to just put the damn suit on. The only catalyst that works here is consequences.

vbych76 · 2022-02-17T01:49:54+00:00

What happened to shaving? What happened to a clean face, where you actually see all of his features? Where there are no burns on your face after kissing (🤢) or even worse you have to watch and touch his ungroomed facial (pubic) hair? So he can shave for an interview, but not for a date?

makeawomancum · 2022-02-17T02:20:12+00:00

Ladies, I saw a terrible neg caption on Valentine’s Day. “A lot of fish in the sea, and I caught a whale!” … in a picture where she looks like a total babe and he looked……

Edi: I love whales too, I just hope this guy meant it with the loving context we have for them 😭🤣otherwise, she deserves better.

Star-Crossed-Girl · 2022-02-17T02:33:28+00:00

We as women have to have so much added to us just to be consider normal. Make up is required to look professional. So are you being superficial to ask that a man simply dress nicer?? Nope, no ma’am you are not.

ewokblubber · 2022-02-17T08:59:55+00:00

I've said this before, but I think it bears repeating: Men who feel inferior to you in terms of looks and grooming will eventually start negging you.

I've cut that entire contingent of cargo pants-wearing, sweatpant-obsessed graphic tee-bros from my dating pool. All of them. I like putting effort into my appearance and am conventionally attractive. Dating men who don't match that effort usually leads to a fuckfest of negging and complaints about the supposed 'frivolousness' of my time investment into grooming.

I only consider men who have a defined personal style beyond 'graphic tee and cargo shorts' as part of my pool of potential partners now. It has cut down on the number of strange, negging interactions I have had tremendously.

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-02-17T14:05:49+00:00

“Am I being wro-“

NO. NO YOU ARE NOT.

As Lilith said in the podcast it’s humiliating to put a TON of effort into your looks and get a grimy man on your arm. Don’t they feel embarrassed?!

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-17T10:08:16+00:00

Please no sneakers. If we are going to a nice restaurant I expect dress shoes (and not those ghastly pointy ones). Jacket too, and a fucking tie...and some cufflinks and a tie pin, and a handkerchief in the pocket and maybe even a fucking hat...and nice underwear!

honeybadgerattitude · 2022-02-17T07:37:50+00:00

I went on a date with a guy who wore tracksuit bottoms for it. Suffice to say we didn't go out again.

Sewud · 2022-02-18T10:59:40+00:00

Men look good with haircut, shaved, shirt, tie, pants, belt. I don't know what happened. It's like when I was a kid, all the adults dressed like that. Now that I'm an adult, the guys my age still dress the way they dressed when we were kids. I think adulthood has disappeared? And I think all the guys are thinking "well I'm just a special boy who dresses that way, rules don't apply to me, isn't that charming", but... it's all of them.

call_me_elle · 2022-02-17T09:27:26+00:00

You're absolutely right and I think it's equally important to look put together for the first date and random casual outings too. It's not even that difficult

mysecretdiary2 · 2022-02-17T13:42:29+00:00

Current man I am dating, as soon as he sees I am dressing up (not necessarily special occasion, but just random days, I like to do that sometimes). He’s like: “I can’t let you go out like this alone” and jumps into his room to match my effort. Not sure how dressing nice shouldn’t be just a given…

karabnp · 2022-02-17T04:16:48+00:00

YES. This irks me to NO END, too!!!!! This reminds me of a post of mine that got lost in all of the other posts here a while ago.... I’ll link it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q035mc/an_observation_i_made_while_people_watching_today/

Title	Valentine’s Day cringe
Author	Skittleschild02
Upvotes	642
Comments	48
Date	February 17, 2022 12:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/suaxzg/valentines_day_cringe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/valentines-day-cringe.1101875 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101875

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