2 years post divorce

Patriot0811 · 2022-06-19T17:39:34+00:00

I just hopped back into dating after 2 years myself. Been at it a month, 6 dates 6 different woman all very attractive. And i tell you what, it’s going to shit. They get a little validation from me then their gone. Several times ghosted. You’re not missing out on much. It’s been nothing but a gut punch and a hit on my confidence.

stent00 · 2022-06-19T19:39:20+00:00

I'm.47 and matching with 50+ women mostly all obese. No thanks. I'm working on my body rather than chasing women right now. I think they should be chasing me. I'm the catch.

Freefaller6 · 2022-06-20T00:50:00+00:00

Sounds like you just need to get the monkey off your back. Tinder and Bumble. Lower your standards if that’s what your after until you get few under your belt. My wife left two years ago and I have never been “busier.”

SudetenNachkomme · 2022-06-19T19:11:38+00:00

Tip would be to go monk and not date until your established financially. You’ve done the hard work physically - now you need to educate yourself on the dating scene and how women think/operate. I recommend Rich Cooper’s book “the Unplugged Alpha” and Rollo Tomassi’s “The Rational Male” series.

MathForPay · 2022-06-20T00:13:05+00:00

You’re in a town of 60k. Play the numbers a little and you’ll realize that there are maybe 30 single females of desirable age and physical attractiveness in your geography. Do you even know where to find them?

I think your #1 limiting factor is geography. If you’re 32M in great physical shape, the next thing to work on would be advancing in career. That would also best be served by moving to a metro area with >1M population.

Gattsama · 2022-06-19T23:41:04+00:00

I'm in thr middle of my divorce but catch a lot of female attention. Here's the thing. Most modern western women are pretty useless. So you need to be very clear about your goals when dating. If you want an intelligent partner, hard working, who is fit: emotionally fit, mentally fit, physically fit and financially fit. Someone with no drama, no kids and doesn't shit test. Who is honest, loyal and feminine.

That person does not exist. I'm sure, statistically speaking, buy not in reality. Most of these women are super entitled 🙄 Pulling first dates is easy, but they either want to commit right away or just ghost because you aren't enough. Either way their agenda is BS.

So you need to have and be clear about your agenda 🤔 Do you just want some fun company. Do you want to hang out. Do you want to get to know someone new and share stories. Do you want sex. Pick 1-3 things and accept you need to date different people to get those needs addressed. You have a fe girls for sex, a few girls for meals, a fee girls for activities, etc. Along the way you might have something evolve into a STR or LTR.

Dull_Description_710 · 2022-06-19T17:44:30+00:00

"She left for whatever reason" is giving off bad vibes to me. Sounds to me like you have work to do on yourself. You played some role in her leaving. You may need to accept that, to accept yourself and the rest will come.

Your abs and lifts are objective. They are true.

Your great social skills are not objective. If you had great social skills, you'd have the results of those skills, namely a relationship. A partner is no guarantee so my point is more along the lines of you can't say you have great social skills without having a great social life. Sounds like trump saying "I have the best words" or "I'm the least racist person ever". Those things, like abs or lifts, are clear and obvious to others without you needing to say them. And if you have to say them, it's like explaining a joke.

I'm coming from a place of support, peace and love brother. Take my advice and opinion, or don't.

martimook · 2022-06-19T18:43:04+00:00

How small is this small town?

I moved from a town of 60,000 to a city of 1.4M. Dating was way better. Quality and quantity wise.

Jonger1150 · 2022-06-19T19:46:24+00:00

Nobody even looks outside of online dating these day.

rumble_salt · 2022-06-19T20:39:20+00:00

Conversation is probably it.

I can’t even keep the women away. Not trying to get out there. Even business relationships I make, the women are hitting me up on nights and weekends.

thtswutshes3d · 2022-06-19T22:55:14+00:00

Honestly, just try and do it and be happy

Meet people organically

Go to concerts, parties, etc and be social

Going on dates is like going on job interviews, they suck

CaliDude75 · 2022-06-19T23:51:05+00:00

WTF man? Was the breakup that hard? I've been on four or five dates with women, and I only petitioned in February '22! Maybe it's because I was over my STBXW before I even told her I wanted a divorce. Nothing serious has developed yet. Just get out there, get online, etc. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I'm not even that great of a specimen myself, objectively. Mid 40s, dad-bod (but also no kids). Don't know what to tell you...You just have to project confidence, and be a little aloof. Neediness or desperation are turn-offs, for sure.

Wolfjak · 2022-06-20T01:37:36+00:00

Your first paragraph was all about you. How awesome you are. Indeed I’m sure it’s true, you’ve come through the fire and risen as a motherfucking Phoenix bro. Nobody can take that away from you. It’s time to go out there and meet new people. That means listening to them, their problems, their triumphs, their interest, loves, hates and all the other. That starts with focusing less on you, because you’re fucking solid, and more on connecting with others. Shut your mouth and open your ears.

ncredman69 · 2022-06-20T00:22:57+00:00

When it comes to dating, the first thing you need to realize is that "you ain't shit". The value you have of yourself never compares to the value others place on you. Secondly, know one owes you shit, only Reapect. Every one in here shitting on "Alpha" have No idea what they are talking about and it's obvious from their comments. Being Alpha means realizing your worth and ensuring that the Women that come into your life know that "if they want to be a part of your life, they have to work on it and earn it". If you are not an Alpha then you will find yourself in relationships where you aren't happy, you are disrespected, your not accomplishing anything, and it usually ends up with you back on Redditt asking for dating advice. You are young, only 32 and you have at least a other 40-50yrs ahead of you. Work on becoming the most Alpha version of yourself and screw what the naysayers say. You tried it the "Regular Way" and look where that got you. I must warn you tho, being Alpha means NOT ALOT of different Women, but the Women that you do get will WANT YOU.

Bipolar_investor · 2022-06-19T18:58:27+00:00

Do you guys live in the same town, cause she's running her mouth cockblocking you if yes.

ncredman69 · 2022-06-20T00:22:07+00:00

When it comes to dating, the first thing you need to realize is that "you ain't shit". The value you have of yourself never compares to the value others place on you. Secondly, know one owes you shit, only Reapect. Every one in here shitting on "Alpha" have No idea what they are talking about and it's obvious from their comments. Being Alpha means realizing your worth and ensuring that the Women that come into your life know that "if they want to be a part of your life, they have to work on it and earn it". If you are not an Alpha then you will find yourself in relationships where you aren't happy, you are disrespected, your not accomplishing anything, and it usually ends up with you back on Redditt asking for dating advice. You are young, only 32 and you have at least a other 40-50yrs ahead of you. Work on becoming the most Alpha version of yourself and screw what the naysayers say. You tried it the "Regular Way" and look where that got you. I must warn you tho, being Alpha means NOT ALOT of different Women, but the Women that you do get will WANT YOU.

Eve-3 · 2022-06-19T19:06:06+00:00

Are you going anywhere/doing anything that would allow you to meet single women? A lot of people don't like to date coworkers and the number of women to men at many gyms makes that not the best place either.

coldfuser · 2022-06-20T03:20:07+00:00

Google Man on Fire and sign up. If that’s too much for you, read No More Mr Nice Guy

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-20T04:47:26+00:00

Am I really an autist giving off bad vibes or what?

Possible. Also the small town blues.

anonmdivy · 2022-06-20T12:20:01+00:00

This all happened during a global pandemic so no matter your own beliefs, it did limit the social pool somewhat.

Apprehensive_Bid_707 · 2022-06-20T22:53:12+00:00

Different situation for me… Divorce should be final in July… Went on for a year and a half I’ve been physically with 3 women dated 5 before I halted everything.. I’m 38 lucky to have my kids a lot and make 100k+ lost a lot of weight but still want to lose 20-40 more pounds… I stopped cause none of the women in my age group 28-42 are really worth much… Multiple baby daddies, or the still live with their parents or have a parent living with them so they always want to be at your place.. Mediocre jobs etc…. I’ve just continued to workout create a plan to attack this credit card debt.. I do plan on getting back out there “CASUALLY” for now and when I’m all put together physically and financially out there on a serious level… Hoping that the better I am it’ll open bigger doors that aren’t available now… I don’t have time for a “good enough” relationship..

Title	2 years post divorce
Author	fishbob12
Upvotes	18
Comments	93
Date	June 19, 2022 5:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vg010b/2_years_post_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/2-years-post-divorce.1120835 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120835

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