Open relationships - stats vs. media

Scarce12 · 2023-01-10T07:58:58+00:00

Dog bites man, not news.

Man bites dog, that's news.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_bites_dog

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-01-10T10:18:26+00:00

If course men want an open relationship in theory, this is only a good option is he's bi/gay.

Play_Muted · 2023-01-10T08:11:35+00:00

gullible men want that but they quickly regret it once it happens.

literally one of my retarded friends proposed open relationship to his first girl friend and recently he almost killed himself.

he didnt have as many options as he thought he would have meanwhile his girlfriend got absolutely ran through and now he cant forget it but cant find another girl.

RegularDue9718 · 2023-01-10T08:13:41+00:00

They want the idea of an open relationship but in practice they don't want it.

nastyfella · 2023-01-10T08:19:47+00:00

I bet many are in sexless relationships

obviousredflag · 2023-01-10T12:21:11+00:00

Because you need to actually use what the studies found instead of making your own statement and citing a source that doesn't show that.

There is a difference between "being open to non-monogamous relationship" and "requesting a non-monogamous relationship".

Men (32%) are more likely than women (19%) to say they would be interested in a non-monogamous relationship.

So men know that women are less likely interested in non-monogamy. They also know that for a lot of people, even suggesting non-monogamy is a reason for breaking up. Wanting a non-monogamous relationship is one thing, asking your partner about it is another thing. Women have lower risk of being met with breakup for requesting such a relationship, because men are more likely to want it, too. Risk, not interest, is determining which sex is more often requesting a non-monogamous relationship.

Also, non-monogamy/open relationship is not a well defined label. We know that women on average are less interested in lots of new sexual partners. When women request non-monogamy, this includes cases where the woman requests just being allowed to make out with other people, or to have FFM threesomes with the partner. That's WAY less risk to be shut down by the partner and leading to breakup, and way higher chance of being agreed to, than to request 1-on-1 penetrative sex with another person. On average, men and women differ what they desire from a non-monogamous relationship. What men want on average is more risky to ask for than what women want on average.

https://uk.askmen.com/news/dating/survey-finds-women-more-likely-to-propose-open-relationships.html

Of the couples in open relationships, two-thirds were initiated by women. This seemingly dispels the notion that it’s primarily men who want extramarital partners.

You see, journalists are just not good at science on average and often have a ideological agenda to push everything that could be twisted into making women look more sexually free, self determined, empowered, not needing men, etc.. Initiation doesn't mean wanting it more. It could very well mean having less risk for negative outcomes but lower interest.

Also, for relationships that are going downhill, women on average are the more active part in dealing with that and looking for a solution, while men sit it out and just endure the relationship being bad. That's also why women INITIATE divorces more often. So if a relationship goes downhill, women are the ones who will on average suggest opening the relationship as a means to address issues more often than men.

You really cannot conclude from the data, that women are more interested in open relationships/fucking other people than men.

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2023-01-10T14:27:50+00:00

They lumped gay and straight men together when counting men, then lumped gay and lesbians together saying gay/lesbian are more likely to want an open relationship. I’ve read in other studies lesbians are the least likely to want open and gay men are by far the most.

What does this study say, gay men want open relationships most. This doesn’t really say anything about any other group as that group swings the data and they didn’t break it out.

GridReXX · 2023-01-10T13:48:46+00:00

Men’s idea of “open” is him having sex with others. She is not. So it’s not open. It’s casual polygamy where he has a main woman.

suj1290 · 2023-01-10T11:43:31+00:00

Stupid guys want open relationship. There is no way you can have as much options as your women.What they expect is slaying stacies after opening relationship.Reality involuntary celibacy while his women gets ploughed by Chad Tyrone

Gravel_Roads · 2023-01-10T12:43:35+00:00

From my experience, most of the people who say they want open relationships like the idea of an open relationship, but in actual execution don't tend to do well in open relationships. Because the "idea" is a lot easier than the implementation.

Everyone wants to feel special. For an open relationship to work, both people in it have to be extra cognizant of one another, and making sure that their relationship is worth more than just "having sex", because sex can come from anywhere. (I feel like a lot of times, people suggest opening a relationship because the relationship is getting boring and they want variety without having to break up -- this usually fails catastrophically, because the person proposing it is looking for more things to do away from their current partner, rather than making their current partner feel wanted or y'know, loved?)

It is possible! I've had an open relationship with a partner I've known for over 25 years. But it took a lot of work to figure out how to do it harmoniously.

Royal-Tip4585 · 2023-01-10T14:40:26+00:00

Men usually have a power imbalance in a relationship. And they abuse it. Thus they try to finesse her into thinking this is a good idea.

Society corrects for this by cucking the ever living shit out of him. Making him regret it

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-01-10T12:40:20+00:00

Could be that women assume the man will be up for it so are more likely to suggest it.

Birb-brained · 2023-01-10T14:12:21+00:00

I only know of a few. One when I was about 20 (so a century ago) and it was a guy friend who had requested an open relationship with his long term girlfriend. The other is not as much an open relationship as a poly one (I’m not incredibly sure of the difference?) was requested by the woman after she cheated. He accepted it, continued the relationship with her but still maintains that he is highly monogamous. I have no idea how he does it, as a very monogamous person, my partner being poly would just cause irreversible Damage.

DaoMark · 2023-01-10T15:23:46+00:00

Men want polygamy, where he can fuck girls on the side and his main girl remaining exclusive to him - did you even read the study you cited ?

It doesn’t really support the conclusions you drew from it - the study also included non hetero relationships which twist up the study as these are very different scenes, with very different dynamics

The study is garbage

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-01-10T16:19:09+00:00

Absolutely men want open relationships more than women. I think maybe 25% of men wouldnt instantly take an open relationship if they could get it without losing their partner. The majority of men dont pair bond via sex and focus heavily on sex and looks in a relationship.

Most men dont have as good of options as women, because women are less likely to sleep around.

GNP_Aficionado · 2023-01-10T15:38:34+00:00

Open relationships only benefit women. And maybe Chad. But Chad doesn't need an open relationship, he just spins plates.

Why would there be any incentive for a normal guy to want one?

A normal guy would be deluded to think he's going to be swimming in poon.

GhostofCamus · 2023-01-10T12:11:11+00:00

Men want open relationships, but are more sexually repressed by society, so we don't ask often. Being labeled a perv, or a dog is our version of slut shaming. Women tend to bring it up once they're sure their partner has no other options, and they start building a soft harem. It's easy for them to ask because she can simply call him insecure. Just her asking casts so much shade on her partner that he's hobbled right out the gate.

One thing I'd advise men who end up in an open relationship because a woman suggested it, don't be up front about how you got into the lifestyle. Poly chicks will ask early into the courting process. If you say your girlfriend suggested it they will start looking for reasons why you weren't enough, and their dart usually lands on bad sex. Just say some vague shit like, "I've always been kinda poly, but didn't have time before now".

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howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-01-10T12:49:09+00:00

Probably either because the men know better than to ask and/or the women are much more likely to be successful and so their partners are blindsided and have a reason to post to Reddit.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-01-10T12:58:39+00:00

Yeah because the dude wants to smash other girls

svarowskylegend · 2023-01-10T14:06:26+00:00

Looking through subs like r/trueoffmychest and r/relationship_advice. There are so many posts there about people breaking up the moment an open relationship is proposed

NationalistGoy · 2023-01-10T17:48:32+00:00

I don't buy this at all.

Men are less likely to share their partners, and if they want to fuck other women, they will just do it instead of opening their monogamous relationship.

2023-01-10T18:34:24+00:00

I feel like if the woman initiates the open relationship, it's mostly because her man doesn't make her cum. If the man initiates it's because he is bored and wants someone new.

I feel like men initiate this way more than women. This could never work for me, since I like stability, but if it works for other couples then that is fine.

General_High_Ground · 2023-01-10T20:32:37+00:00

Ignoring the people who are poly...

Men obviously. lol

Women usually don't need to do this, because the dating market is skewed in their favor, so they usually get who they think that they deserve.
Men otoh usually don't get to end up with someone they think that they deserve as women do, so some men settle for women they don't truly want as a placeholder for sex and then push for an open relationship to try to find someone who they actually want (and think that they deserve).

Probably also one of the reasons why men may cheat more, mistreat their partners more (resentment of their partner because he settled for her) and so on.

And also one of the reasons why it would be better for everyone involved if the dating was more equal.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-01-10T20:42:20+00:00

Open relationships are also super common among gay men.

I think your basic answer is that men are horny and crave variety and often aren't nearly as bothered by their partners having sex with other people as posters here seem to think. Putting that last part in bold because it's something a lot of male posters here have a really hard time wrapping their brains around. Y'all are so scared of cuckoldry that it absolutely blinds you to how many men just... aren't. Like they don't want to get cheated on or anything but in a more balanced situation they're not gonna be that bothered, or at least not bothered enough to give up their own opportunity to sleep with other women. Or he thinks it's hot so her fucking around is a bonus.

I would also argue that someone who enters into an open relationship expecting the level of extracurricular activity to be precisely the same for both partners at all times... should not be in an open relationship.

Most of the open relationships I know of were between people who were poly/ENM before they even met.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-01-11T02:13:12+00:00

Men suggest it because they want to fuck other women, but then get upset when she fucks other men (or women), as per the arrangement. Women can generally find casual sex partners more easily, so this is an even more unpleasant surprise for these guys who think they’re being given a pass to cheat, which I can’t help but find a little funny.

Overall I think there are a lot of people who like the idea of an open relationship, but few who it really works for.

despisedlove2 · 2023-01-11T04:24:23+00:00

Loose men are usually smart enough not to demand them because they know they will likely lose the woman they currently have. Women are "celebrated" for everything these days. So, demanding something she is going to be called "brave and stunning" for isn't going to be a problem. Even if the guy leaves in disgust, she has 10 other thirsty men on Tinder salivating for the chance to be told how "abusive" her ex was.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-01-11T06:42:42+00:00

My ex asked for an open relationship I said fine...

Problem was she lived in my house so had no place to have sex with guys

She didn't work so the guys had to pay for everything hotels etc drive to pick her up and she's cute but guys with money could do better so she mostly got broke dudes..I met a few of them..Mostly guys from her college gym or old job...

She has personality flaws that means no guy will commit to her plus we where In a relationship and she lied about it to the other guys...one guy ended it when he found out...she told me he caught feelings..

In fact all of the guys catch feelings I did but there's something wrong with her not the marrying type.So as far as I know all of these relationships where a disaster she came home crying because of fights on multiple occasions...her soul is damaged from putting herself through all that apparently one guy she got with was on the DL the other was twice her age and married another had a thing for animals..

Mean while I was enjoying escorts gorgeous 8s9s a few 10s I didn't even try dating..BTW she always wanted sex when she came back from these dates so win win for me.

We eventually decided to end the whole thing when she saw I was having to much fun and ignoring her..but then she cheated and I ended it...sayonara later she told me the guy is abusive and she broke it off with him.

Title	Open relationships - stats vs. media
Author	xa10945
Upvotes	17
Comments	88
Date	January 10, 2023 7:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1083sa1/open_relationships_stats_vs_media/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/open-relationships-stats-vs-media.1146264 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146264

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