“Unplanned pregnancy” Men will trap you with a baby. Then you never finish school and end up being reliant on them. Stay vigilant queens!

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2021-03-18T18:02:16+00:00

Advice to every woman here, including those lurking from an attorney in the states who has handled divorce and family violence cases extensively:

Never ever tell anyone that you’re pregnant unless you are 100% keeping the baby and you depend only on yourself for e v e r y t h i n g. That includes your mother and father. And I did say KEEPING the baby. If you choose to get an abortion, this advice goes double, even years down the line. Seek therapy groups but be wary of ever informing your relatives.

I’ve seen young women needing protective orders after getting a beating for asking their own parents if they could take just a Plan B which is not the abortion pill.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-18T18:05:15+00:00

He will then turn around and abandon them, creating a single mother and parrot the trop that women need to make better choices.

I'm so tired of these scrotes, and they are doubling down that women are oppressors and take advantage of them. Please, you work at dominoes and play video games the other 16 hours of the day fool, nobody needs you. UGG!

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-18T18:34:03+00:00

Can you please tell this poor girl he relationship was already ruined as soon as he said he would break up with her if she had an abortion. It is a BLARING RED SIREN in her face that he is abusive, manipulative and controlling.

What she should do I leave him. Hopefully she has family who can support and help her, because it just makes it so much easier with love and support, but she can do it on her own too. She needs help from others, she needs to break up with him AND LEAVE.

thewetdog_ · 2021-03-18T20:27:40+00:00

She should say OK, then get the abortion and pretend she miscarried. So this dude doesnt hurt her or damage her reputation and tell everyone she’s an abortion having whore.

Wait a week, tell him he reminds you too much of the baby you lost and dump him forever and ever.

With crazy people it’s better to sometimes play dumb and lie because you don’t know the extent of their retaliation when you take control back from them.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-03-18T17:59:48+00:00

The only thing she should be scared about is her boyfriend!

How can you possibly love someone who would force you to have a baby and sacrifice your education, your future?

He is a monster.

Sage_Planter · 2021-03-18T18:31:06+00:00

My boyfriend, on the other hand, is completely ready to have a baby

Yeaaaaaah. No shit. His body isn't the one being ruined, and he's probably one of those "being a dad will be fun!" types that will never change a diaper.

Shhhhhh86 · 2021-03-18T21:16:16+00:00

I swear this happens more often than people think.

I was about to graduate when my ex stealthed me. I took plan b within the hour. Still got pregnant. I wanted an abortion, was promised the world etc etc.

5 months in when I can't abort anymore, he takes off. I go through it all alone.

I love my daughter, but having her did financially hurt me and wasn't what I wanted. I also had pretty severe PPD after.

My story is not unique. You just don't hear it often enough

donttextme_k · 2021-03-18T18:15:00+00:00

That’s crazy, I doubt he even have the means to support them

Virgomermaid94 · 2021-03-18T18:24:47+00:00

My ex took the condom off and lied about it, because I made good money and was “such a good single mother to the other son” he dint even want me... he just wanted me to have his baby and to tell me I was undeserving undesirable and unworthy of being a wife.

I stopped talking to him when I was 6m pregnant he’s not on the birth certificate and my baby has my maiden last name., and when the baby was 2 months I met my now HVM husband. Baby and my my older son calls him dad and he’s an amazing dad.

When the baby was 3years old we were getting married my ex heard I was happy/getting married so he took me to court saying he “just dint like me getting married” the judge hated him (luckily) after he said that in court....now he does weekly 15 minute video calls and he sees him 4 times a year supervised visitations (he’s missed 5 visits in two years and is always late for video calls) and pays child support. (The child support doesn’t even cover half of my sons expenses)

We have another court date to change my sons last name to my married name from my maiden name we have to go to court because my ex wants it to stay my maiden name to remind me I “was a single mom, a whore, that’s not my husbands kid,” and I can’t “just pretend like a big happy family” luckily that’s in text so I should win just fine. He doesn’t want his son to have his last name he just wants it to not be my husbands, just like he never wanted to be in a relationship with me he just dint want me to be with anyone. It’s all about ownership with him.

We are no contact outside of the necessary texts about video chatting.... and I found out too late for an abortion, I love both my sons (my first I was a teen mom and also terrible situation)

but I would be much further in life if I had waited. I wouldn’t have this asshole in my life, my husband would be the biological dad, my son wouldn’t have to deal with an asshole. I would’ve enjoyed being pregnant verse secretly hoping to miscarry and than feeling awful about those thoughts because my baby is beautiful.

Please don’t have this baby. Abort it now, a man worth keeping would support you right to choose and not leave you over your choice because he would love you for you not for what you can do or give to him.

sleepysiri · 2021-03-18T18:04:23+00:00

Good riddance to him, I hope she leaves.

Thesseli · 2021-03-18T17:55:12+00:00

He's definitely trying to trap her.

2021-03-18T20:26:04+00:00

Curious: did he ever offer to care for the baby while she continues on her career path.

I think I know the answer.

randowordgenerator · 2021-03-18T18:53:54+00:00

Don't be a bit player in someone else's movie.

hyperjinxx · 2021-03-18T21:35:31+00:00

I doubt he’s “completely” ready for a baby. He’s only saying that because he doesn’t want her to abort HIS spawn and expects HER to make all of the sacrifices. Of course he’s okay with her career being affected and trapping her longer without even a proposal. HOW EASY for him to make that decision for her.

I hope she leaves and does what’s best for herself. This man is selfish to say the least.

EveSerpent · 2021-03-18T18:55:13+00:00

What should you do? Recognize that he‘s an ass and leave him in the dust on your way to the clinic.

2021-03-18T19:35:34+00:00

Please tell me that she’s not gonna have a baby she doesn’t want just to keep a man...

Low-Cartoonist-176 · 2021-03-18T20:11:08+00:00

Breakup threats are super manipulative. Take him up for the offer and abort the bunch of cells. Then send him the bill and never speak to him again.

lvoncreek · 2021-03-18T22:48:56+00:00

Abort your boyfriend as well

Ayxmiii · 2021-03-18T20:35:22+00:00

Omg. She is me and I am her. Fr this is a bad situation and it doesn't end well. In my case I was with my ex for 2 years

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-18T21:05:41+00:00

Let him leave

haunted_vcr · 2021-03-18T22:52:17+00:00

Hopefully she left him and will finish school successfully. Much better than becoming reliant on an emotionally abusive dude at 21.

-SixTwoSix- · 2021-03-18T19:19:24+00:00

Definitely get an abortion

iaintgonnacallyou · 2021-03-19T05:21:12+00:00

A baby is forever. A man is only temporary.

galian84 · 2021-03-19T10:45:47+00:00

And they try to turn around and say women “trap” them into having a baby.

I hope she dumps the guy, has the abortion if she wants, and finishes school. He cannot wait a year for kids...he is trying to control her and keep her under his thumb.

Reminded me of a pickme friend I once had, who had dreams of finishing grad school and getting into my field of work. Her husband was hardcore pressuring her to have kids, when she clearly said she wasn’t ready. They are in their mid-20s and he supposedly can’t wait a couple years for her to finish school and start a career. Sad part was, she gave in to his demands and they are now trying for a baby while she’s still in school. Not to mention, he is also in the military and stationed overseas. 100% a control tactic.

Wildestrose1988 · 2021-03-19T12:40:46+00:00

Men should have NO SAY. If the man does or does not like abortion it's his job to discuss it beforehand. Not make demands after he fucked up and ABANDONED his sperm inside a woman.

RecordingImportant94 · 2021-03-19T10:52:33+00:00

I got pregnant in similar circumstances, it’s now a very long road for me to being financially stable, when I had the world at my feet back then. I now see that he wanted to keep the baby as a means to continue to control me, even though I left him he still continues to abuse me through our child.

There needs to be more protection for women leaving the abusive fathers of their children, despite men complaining they are discriminated against in terms of child custody it is actually very difficult to block these men having access to the child and therefore you in my experience.

Title	“Unplanned pregnancy” Men will trap you with a baby. Then you never finish school and end up being reliant on them. Stay vigilant queens!
Author	GabbaG0ul
Upvotes	497
Comments	75
Date	March 18, 2021 5:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m7wl8y/unplanned_pregnancy_men_will_trap_you_with_a_baby/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/unplanned-pregnancy-men-will-trap-you-with-a-baby.1190795 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190795

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