I wonder if these are high expectations

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-02-23T23:38:19+00:00

I’m sad for her.

“Is this normal?”

No, no it’s not by any definition of the word.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-02-23T23:59:18+00:00

Woman #2 won't agree to a "poly" relationship, but then he wants to cheat anyway behind her back. What a catch. I'm glad woman #1 woke up, I hope she tells woman #2 about his offer.

daisies4dayz · 2022-02-24T01:13:05+00:00

And this is the type of dude in his late 20s/30s who finally “settles down” with whatever halfway decent girl he’s with at the time since he’s at that point in his life where his commitment bulb goes off.

But sits around mooning over the “one that got away”, aka the great girl he threw in the trash in his younger years so he could “experience other people”.

There was a whole ask Reddit thread of this same story over and over.

Catz10000 · 2022-02-23T23:36:29+00:00

The bar is in hell. Along with most young women's self esteem, apparently.

purasangria · 2022-02-24T00:34:50+00:00

JFC, if a man says this to you DUMP HIM. He doesn't really want you, he's just using you as a placeholder until dreamgirl comes along.

I'm glad she dumped him. What an asshole he is.

CheetahEnergy · 2022-02-23T23:58:09+00:00

I had to restart reading this a few times cause it made no sense

wonkyeyes8877 · 2022-02-23T23:50:02+00:00

This girl.... She is probably a great person and really patient and tolerant. And here she is being used by a scrote. She deserves better. 💙

vitryolic · 2022-02-23T23:54:58+00:00

The patriarchy really has women gaslighting themselves if young girls first thought is “how normal is this?” rather than GTFO

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-02-23T23:45:23+00:00

She sounds very young. I hope she learns to value herself more and that she blocks this guy forever.

2022-02-24T00:03:45+00:00

Glad she got the right idea by her second edit but sad she even had to ponder this at all. Like what's fuzzy about this situation? First and foremost, how is "her" bf dating someone that isn't her? Like how does that work? As soon as "your" bf dates someone else, he's not really your bf anymore. Anyway, he doesn't want to be in any kind of romantic relationship with her at all, not even an open one where he can theoretically have her and the girl he really likes. He clearly cares more for the other girl, concerned about what she wants in that he anticipates she doesn't want an open relationship and he is at least partially refusing an open relationship on that ground. She's just emergency pussy. Nothing confusing at all, nothing to discuss further with him.

BoldCutCnifeCoochie · 2022-02-24T01:08:53+00:00

Men are so illogical.

I hope the other girl drops his ass too.

shockingupdate · 2022-02-24T01:26:31+00:00

Oh, honey, there’s nothing “normal” about it! I can’t wait until young women don’t even have to ask before getting tf out.

My first boyfriend pulled this shit - dumped me, then came back asking me to be a “placeholder” while he looks for a new girlfriend. He continued begging in my DMs for eight years before I changed my number

ceramicunicorn · 2022-02-24T03:05:53+00:00

I hear women are entitled and I’m thinking they aren’t entitled enough.

Colour_riot · 2022-02-24T00:30:35+00:00

That's a very elaborate story to explain why he's cheating. Poor woman, glad she got out of there

Exciting-Agent1163 · 2022-02-24T01:20:19+00:00

Is she in middle school???

bookworm1896 · 2022-02-24T07:42:58+00:00

Wtf?! What is happening to relationships? Your boyfriendxtells you that he is already dating another girl, that was the moment when you should have gotten angry and dump him immediately! What is wrong with society that she still tries to save the relationship first?

SinisterSincerely · 2022-02-24T01:36:04+00:00

This is why its so important we continue to speak to other women about respecting their time and most importantly their worth.
This was painful to read

noteventhreeyears · 2022-02-23T23:47:59+00:00

Burn it all down.

NiceForWhat22 · 2022-02-24T01:03:03+00:00

This hurts my eyes and heart to read. But she also sounds very young so I feel sorry for her.

No_Equivalent1120 · 2022-02-24T02:00:52+00:00

I feel so bad for her. This was me last October. It drove me mad to hear my ex claim I was some great person and then run off to a bar. Months later after I worked on my self-esteem, guess who got his ego bruised and wanted to see if I wanted to work things out?

ferociouslycurious · 2022-02-24T02:44:34+00:00

I was happy to read edit 2. At least she knows the truth now.

RussianAsshole · 2022-02-24T01:55:24+00:00

They expect us to believe that they would try this BS on a Victoria's Secret model.

Edit: Thanks for making good points, ladies. I redact my earlier statement.

aziza7 · 2022-02-24T03:03:31+00:00

OMG the audacity.

Here's the thing, that almost happened to me!

This guy and I went out and had a lovely day together on the water. He wanted me to come to his place after for dinner and I said no. He then dutifully followed up the next day and asked me out again. He was weird about scheduling the next date and then confessed that he still had feelings for his ex. So I told him to hit the road. That's not exactly what he did...

He was quiet for a few months and then resurfaced to ask me out again once a month for 3 months. It was like clockwork of him coming back and then me telling him off. He claimed that he had just tried to exercise "radical honesty" with me. That didn't fly. Finally I blocked him. The end.

meowmeowthrwaway · 2022-02-24T03:35:52+00:00

ugggghhh i hate the whole "but i love him!!🥺🥺🥺" bs. if love is giving up your dignity for someone and having them treat you with so much disrespect why would you even want it?? i hope miss girl can learn her value she seems like a really empathetic and caring person

cryptohobo · 2022-02-24T07:52:27+00:00

OP it’s your call but if you have a moment PM her some supportive words and an invite to check us out. I do that whenever I can, definitely feels like I’m putting a bandaid on a fire hydrant that exploded though. Some reply and it makes me hopeful for our collective healing.

Typical_Candle_5627 · 2022-02-24T08:09:45+00:00

this has to be a high schooler, right? i don’t want to sound insensitive but OP sounds super inexperienced, and if so this is tragic

MyBeautifulSweetsong · 2022-02-24T02:42:39+00:00

I understand she may be young be he straight up told you he is dating someone else.

This sounds like the equivalent of telling women to communicate with their men. He speaks he understands.

This girl speaks English and he boyfriend said HE IS DATING SOMEONE ELSE.

What's there to be confused about🧐.???

This is why I hate when people try to decipher what others are "really" trying to say.

thornalty · 2022-02-24T03:35:54+00:00

How truly horrific do things need to be that she’s even questioning what is happening here? I feel for her.

Band-Western · 2022-02-24T03:08:54+00:00

Girl he’s already cheating on u … and her. Leave him and never look back

FernReno · 2022-02-24T03:06:45+00:00

I was given this proposal by a 49 year old.

2022-02-25T03:23:46+00:00

Say it with me, ladies: We do not date men who are strangely inexperienced for his age. Many times, the virgin "nice" dude wasn't picked by his own peers for a reason!

2022-02-24T18:39:02+00:00

Ugh, i dated one of these entitled scrotes in college. He had this great idea that we should “break up before summer break, and then get back together when school starts again.” I suggested that we break up before summer break and then not get back together when school starts again. He backed down, which was too bad in retrospect, because i was serious. I wanted to break up, but felt like i needed a gOoD rEaSoN to do so.

BxGyrl416 · 2022-02-24T01:21:58+00:00

Are these chicks for real? Somebody lied to you. What aren’t they getting?

MacrameGoose34 · 2022-02-24T02:22:11+00:00

Get some experience = wants to try out a thing he saw in porn that's disgusting and wants to see if he can pull it off

2022-02-24T02:39:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

princessofthekingdom · 2022-02-24T14:13:41+00:00

This just made sick to my stomach.

Vaeldicurun · 2022-02-24T01:38:28+00:00

Oh honey, this girl got shoved so far on the back burner she fell and got stuck between the stove and the wall!

Title	I wonder if these are high expectations
Author	alpinepunch2021
Upvotes	724
Comments	55
Date	February 23, 2022 11:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/szvh4w/i_wonder_if_these_are_high_expectations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-wonder-if-these-are-high-expectations.1210804 https://theredarchive.com/post/1210804

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