How to come to terms with male sexuality?

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-05-06T01:31:18+00:00

Interesting... a month ago you were talking about how women could begin socially enforcing monogamy by doing a better job gatekeeping sex, and I must say this puts that post into perspective. I've got a couple questions:

You say he only "fully revealed" his intention to sleep with other women after you were married. How much had he partially revealed prior to marriage?
Did he fully reveal said intentions before or after y'all knew you were pregnant?
What are your ages?

ETA: 4. Your username reminds me of the verse in Proverbs 31 - do you consider yourself a practicing Christian? Does he?

ladida1321 · 2023-05-05T23:40:30+00:00

Men are absolutely not only as faithful as their options! That’s complete nonsense. My husband had an N count of about 50 when he and I got together. He had had multiple MFF threesomes. He had an active roster of what RP calls plates right up until we started dating. A d list celebrity tried to steal him away from me toward the beginning of our relationship. Talk about options right? Yet he’s been one hundred percent faithful to me. Dropped the roster instantly. Respects that I’m not cool with threesomes. Etc.

Any man who tells you men are only as faithful as their options is just trying to justify cheating and you don’t have to put up with it for a second. You said marriage vows. You have an absolute right to expect fidelity in your marriage. I understand you’re pregnant and I can only imagine how hard that is to be in that situation. My heart goes out to you and I understand this isn’t an easy decision because of that. Only you know what fits for you. Some women are genuinely okay with their husband having multiple partners. Maybe that will be you? If so, great! No kink shaming here. But it doesn’t HAVE to be you. I’m not encouraging you to leave him. Again, I know you’re pregnant and that complicates it so much. But I do promise that even as a single mom you can find better than a man who won’t be faithful to you.

angelicasinensis · 2023-05-06T01:55:25+00:00

Sounds like he is using RP to justify his own intentions. Sounds messed up and like you deserve better. Sex can make babies and no birth control is 100%, also sex is a highly intimate act, I would be PISSED. Also, he could literally give you an STD that could harm your unborn child. Don’t have sex with him anymore and look into breaking up, that’s what I would do.

ivysaurah · 2023-05-06T04:57:08+00:00

Complete nonsense. If a man lacks discipline it makes them less of a man. Cheating on their partner and mother of their children shows a lack of discipline and therefore a bad example of leadership and masculinity for his family.

countrylemon · 2023-05-06T01:31:14+00:00

so your husband wants to cheat on you and turn you into a female cuck? while you’re PREGNANT?

Like someone else said if this isn’t a troll you need to seriously just fucking leave this loser of a “husband”. A husband is a COMMITTED man.

ladida1321 · 2023-05-05T22:58:45+00:00

What?!

Cheating is not RP ideology. You get angry and disgusted at the thought if it because it is wrong. Your husband sounds like a pig.

Mister_Badger · 2023-05-06T02:45:58+00:00

If he were truly a high value man, and truly wanted a harem, he would have made this clear early on, and faced your decision then.

vintagegirlgame · 2023-05-06T06:27:08+00:00

It sounds like you might not yet understand that RPW is very different from RP for men…

RPW focuses on being feminine to attract a man who is naturally a good combo of alpha (leader) and beta (provider). RPW seeks to avoid becoming a plate (being monogamous to a non-monogamous man).

TRP can have 2 approaches… the most common is to try become “alpha” by improving game, increasing N-count and building a harem (note: a true alpha would do this naturally, not from reading pickup game on the internet). The other approach to TRP is learning how to be alpha in a monogamous relationship (if already married or seeking to marry) so that his partner respects him and the relationship is harmonious. A man can’t do both options… he has to choose one or the other.

SilasDewgud · 2023-05-06T23:39:40+00:00

I have been married for 25 years. Been 6 figures and 6ft tall and all the qualifications of a "high value man". I have never cheated on my wife. Why?

Because I care about her. I care about her feelings. Even though she CAN drive me 6ft up the wall - I wouldn't risk my life and family and marriage for some 21 year old.

I have had the offers. I have even considered it a few times. Some close calls.

But when the chips are down, I still actually like my wife. She is a good person. I can trust her.

Remind him why you guys got married. He can, as a whole ass man, be unfaithful and break your covenant. But he needs to understand the consequences of that.

My wife was clear. Infidelity is a deal breaker. It is the last day of our marriage. I believe her.

Hahafunnys3xnumber · 2023-05-06T19:06:58+00:00

If this is real I hope one day you get some self respect 🫡

RubyWooToo · 2023-05-07T00:13:33+00:00

Are you cool with the possibility of him bringing home diseases, which could have permanent consequences for your health and the health of your unborn child?

Are you happy with the idea of him spending time, money, and emotional energy wooing other women?

What if he gets another woman pregnant?

What if one of his side pieces is a bunny boiler who decides to terrorize you?

If none of these possibilities sounds appealing to you, then you need to get out now.

Hysterical__Paroxysm · 2023-05-05T23:39:43+00:00

I would be exercising my options as well. Believe me, I have options :)

Dismayed_ · 2023-05-05T22:32:31+00:00

this has to be a troll post

tambourine_goddess · 2023-05-05T22:41:47+00:00

No, this is a man attempting to normalize infidelity. This is NOT "just how men are". This is how children act. You are under no obligation to "come to terms with it." Unfortunately, you're going to have to address that this is NOT acceptable now, or you will resent this in 10 years, after he's given you an STD from fu**ing around (happened to my great aunt).

CountTheBees · 2023-05-07T00:07:56+00:00

I don't think you're angry at male sexuality and I don't think you need help coming to terms with it. I think you're angry that your husband is talking like he wants to cheat on you after you got married and pregnant which is a totally different issue.

Does he know how angry/resentful/disgusted this makes you? If this is his attempt at "dread" it's not working. Married game is not the same as any other game. Pregnant wife game is not the same as any other game. His understanding of RP sounds very shallow and totally unprepared for a surprise pregnancy.

The guys at TRP (and the YT RP guys) write/make content mainly for polygynous, uncommitted relationships. Their standard response to any test is "A&A then demote her to plate". Marriage & pregnancy is a little out of their comfort zone. There are older, married RP men with children but they are few and far between.

The fact that you're here writing this post tells me that you're giving him a lot of comfort tests right about now and he's failing all of them. This is only going to negatively affect the relationship. I'm not blaming you or insulting him, I'm just saying that if a man can't respond the way the woman wants when she gives him a shit test or a comfort test, and if he can't tell the difference between a shit vs comfort test, your relationship will suffer. This is not actionable advice, this is theory background (related reading: Fitness Testing Vs Loyalty Testing. He uses different names but shit test = fitness test and comfort test = loyalty test). You can't make your hormones or emotions stop - you'll keep giving them and he'll keep failing them. And you can't change him to make him pass them either.

The only thing you can do to prompt him to reflect on how wrong he's gotten it all is to stop giving him green flags -- how much or how little is up to you and your patience. But he needs some sort of indication that what he's doing is Not Working. If you've got a good handle on RP theory, you could definitely even give him feedback on why something isn't working in RP terms. It's not what I'd propose doing long term since it's very challenging/nagging/not submissive behaviour, but in the short term it could jolt him into realising he's stuffed up enough for his wife to pull him up on theory. Will it cause your relationship to go downhill? Yes. But he's the Captain, he sets the tone. And the tone he's setting right now is "I don't have your/our children's best interests in mind". Why should any woman submit? We submit to men because they take care of us and make us feel safe. And he's not doing that.

You should never have to force yourself to want to submit, he should be inspiring that, by taking care of your emotional needs and earning your respect. Even if he successfully masters Alpha behaviour - eventually the woman gets fed up with the lack of Beta. Dread only works for about six months... and once the Relationship Comfort runs out... being alpha isn't enough anymore.

MinutesTilMidnight · 2023-05-06T14:00:27+00:00

Not sure how old you guys are, but I’m only 20 and my boyfriend is more mature than this. Something is absolutely not right with this guy. Maybe couple’s therapy would help? I don’t know. This is a real mess :(

yogurtnutz · 2023-05-06T01:56:14+00:00

Thing is he already agreed to monogamy with you. Too bad he didn’t learn about RP sooner if that’s what he wanted

couldthisbelove · 2023-05-06T07:05:48+00:00

This has got to be a joke. Was this a serious discussion or a spur of the moment ? If he acts serious then call him out on it. Tell him you need to know if that’s what he truly wants because you will want a divorce. His reaction should tell you if he’s serious or not.

Such_Beginning_1629 · 2023-05-06T13:20:06+00:00

My Opinion of that man just took a nosedive.

RedPillDad · 2023-05-07T05:52:43+00:00

Men do enjoy variety. Sure, doing the same thing in the same place at the same time with the same woman gets old. However, jumping straight to swapping out the wife is crazy. There are so many ways to satisfy his variety itch.

Different Locations. Have you 'celebrated' every corner of the house? Parked the car in fun places? Trips abroad? Hotel sleepovers? How many countries have you crossed off your couples bucket list? We would travel without the kids at least once a year to create mini-honeymoons.
Different Looks. Different outfits, different hairstyle. You could go full role-play if he's into it - nurse, teacher, school girl, secretary, call girl, whatever your imagination can dream up.
Different Positions. This one is obvious. Find his favorite, your favorite and keep switching things up.
Participation. Your enthusiasm means a lot. Starfish sex isn't much fun for a man.
Date Nights. A different date experience almost feels like being with a new woman. Play with it, pretending you just met.
More Foreplay. Bring back the teasing, the innuendo, the playful smacks on the bottom. Straight to boom-boom makes it all so banal.
More Femininity. I can't speak for your husband, but masculine women have zero appeal to me. My wife's femininity keeps that attraction factor alive. It's in her voice, in the way she moves. There's a grace about her, a radiance that is uplifting to everyone she meets.
More Space. If you're joined at the hip every day, you can start to grate on each other. You need a chance to miss each other, to appreciate what can easily be taken for granted.

If this is your first child congrats. Enduring those first 3 months is like boot camp. You'll both be exhausted and incredibly in love with this new little bundle. Your sex life will take a temporary hit. His desire for variety will always be valid, but will be less a priority as you build a family together. He'll have an awesome new role to keep him busy, being a dad.

Good luck. You got this.

DelicateDevelopment · 2023-05-06T11:46:34+00:00

It sounds like a massive shit test. Men test differently than women. You cannot win this fight by words.

Make him realize that he is going to destroy your family if he follows up with this and help him to get his priorities straight.

Or take it with "agree and amplify", talk to him in a sweet voice how you see im in a pool with hundreds of blondes waiting for him, take it to the extreme... Maybe even seduce him from there. Maybe don't take him too serious. I guess most men would have those thought and ideas, they are mostly not to be taken serious.

Sounds like he is drunk by the idea of being super chad.

But of course it is extremely disrespectful to tell this to ones wife. Current culture however teaches/shows it that way, e.g. all kind of different tv show where men brag in that way to their gf/wife and the girls play along as if they were "one of the guys".

It is difficult times in relationships for both, men and women. Sanity is not found anymore in public culture and while the male RP of course also has truth in it, it also has toxic or dangerous relationship unfriendly parts in it. I mean their goal is to "enjoy the decline" in a hedonistic valueless way. Maybe you could highlight that to him once. The male rp culture is not building families but celebrating decline... So of course they don't self-restrict and of course they also prioritize short-term pleasure over long-term goals.

RoleplayPete · 2023-05-06T13:18:35+00:00

Here is what stood put to me. And mind you this is just my struggling perspective.

You said "I will have sex with him whenever' which sounds fine until we look at the wider context.

My wife would have sex with me mostly "whenever". She is perfectly willing to be the receiver almost any time we are at home.

Now, when was the last time she wanted me, is another point. When she came over just because she looked at me and thought "damn he's sexy" or "wow I am lucky to have him and I should go get a piece or give a piece to express that" or even "I am just naturally in the mood and am going to put my husband in my mouth so he will sex me"? Or even "I want to be touched by him so I'm going to wear this"? These things NEVER happen. I was gone working out of state for half a year, and she wore shorts under her dress to meet me. There should have been all but a freeway leading to her sexuality there, and was a barrier instead. How instantly rejected did I feel? How do I look at her and think she wants me if she literally basically put on a chastity belt so I couldn't even put my hand on her thighs?

Sure. She is willing to have sex pretty much any time. But how does that fulfill my needs of being wanted? When there are women who want me? Who actively stop what they are doing to sit on my lap? Who look at me and want to have sex with me all the time, rather than tolerate it any time? Who beg me to take them rather than allow me to?

You surely see the difference, see what is missing? It isn't about having sex. Orgasms aren't the point. Being fulfilled and desired is the point.

"No it isn't about cheating on you or getting laid. It's I am alpha as fuck and I am what women want, I am going to be wanted, and am going to feel wanted. By you or someone else is your call"

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-05-05T22:39:05+00:00

This is a terrible thing for him to have sprung on you, and I have serious doubts about his capacity to care for a family. To be in a successful marriage, both men and women have to curb their natural inclinations. Men, their polyamory, and women, their hypergamy.

He is the leader. The example he's setting is that two of you don't sacrifice your base urges for the sake of your family. Ask him if this is the standard he wants.

That being said, I do believe women have the capability to be at peace with this set up. It's not easy, or typical, or recommended. You'll lose a lot of face amongst other women, and will likely have to keep this a secret from everyone you know.

A step towards acceptance is understanding how men view sex objects and sexual stimulation. If you can see how disposable and meaningless sex can be to them, you might feel that the love and resources your husband provides you are unthreatened by a side piece. Watching my husband scroll through some NSFW pictures was a real eye opener for me. I know the attention and validation those women must seek, and their vulnerability sometimes barely warrants them a glance.

32vromeo · 2023-05-06T02:29:03+00:00

Do you, or anyone else here, believe in the differences between male and female sexuality particularly “women seek quality, men seek quantity”? My advice is to communicate with him more and make it clear he understands how you feel. That’s a start

Boektoe · 2023-05-06T10:31:41+00:00

It seems that most posting here either don't understand the RP or seem to forget where the RP comes from. Instead of describing men as predators looking for a harem, it actually stems from the idea that "all" women branch swing (look for better options) once they have the security of a relationship/ marriage. So once the man assures them that he is faithful and does nice things for them, they abuse that trust to look elsewhere for high quality (alpha) seeds, because somewhere in their dinosaur brain they subconsciously believe that alpha males don't commit because of the amount of options they have (and women always look for highest quality options). So your guy who's entertaining these options, it may just be that he's trying to keep you on eggshells so that you continue to see him as high value in the relationship, so that you keep trusting him as the leader. That way you can follow his lead (built the relationship together) and be feminine. That's basically what the "natural" state the relationship should have. This doesn’t really mean that he will use these mate options. It could very well be that this is more an act of love. He is not trying to be selfish, he is trying to save the relationship, by keeping the right dynamics in tact. Eventually his wish is that you follow him.

Some of the advice given here like ‘leave him’, ‘take charge’ etc. This will bring you in your masculine, not the feminine state he desires. The next thing that will happen is that either you or him will leave out of resentment, and that’s it.

The solution is to both be aware of each others “needs” in the relationships, but also of each others unconscious needs. It very difficult for a men to show high value and at the same time give you the security you need. It’s a sort of paradox. You should support him in showing as much as high value traits as possible, without entertaining other options. And please believe me, the only thing we need is someone to encourage and cheer for us on our road to succes. If men get that, and a feminine women, they will not cheat.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-05T22:14:58+00:00

Title: How to come to terms with male sexuality?

Full text: Okay so my husband is neck deep in the rp space and has fully accepted the whole men who are high value will “exercise options” garbage. He only fully revealed his intentions to me after we were already married I really don’t want to be bitter or resentful towards him but I keep swinging between acceptance and resentment and disgust. I just hate the idea that he’s going to have sex with other women. Like I get angry at the thought of it. It feels so wrong. Why should another women be able to have sex with MY husband?? Btw I am not frigid at all- I would have sex with my husband whenever. But it’s not enough for him. Can someone help me not be angry at male sexuality and their desire for variety?? Also he told me the whole “men are only as faithful as their options” thing which basically means ultimately this is my BEST option 😅

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GloomyCategory3 · 2023-05-08T02:43:02+00:00

Damn. But at least he is upfront, and hes not lying you know, very atractive guys will do it, what to do? I dunno.

hadyayasmin · 2023-05-13T00:02:58+00:00

oh my🥺biggest fear. hope it all works out for u :(

ArdentBandicoot · 2023-05-14T20:06:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DyingFlames · 2023-05-18T21:54:04+00:00

What a fool. He is not the only one with options hahahahha

Title	How to come to terms with male sexuality?
Author	dressedindignity
Upvotes	18
Comments	70
Date	May 5, 2023 10:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13938ci/how_to_come_to_terms_with_male_sexuality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-come-to-terms-with-male-sexuality.1218163 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218163

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