Q for Women: How many of you genuinely enjoy being "objectified" in D/s kinki play with a man whom you trust enough to be totally vulnerable, obedient, and subservient with? In small fun doses of course.

eefr · 2023-05-13T06:51:55+00:00

Inside the bedroom? Yes, absolutely, let's do all the kink things.

Outside the bedroom, bleeding into the rest of our life in any way? Absolutely not, you're fired.

(I mean, I don't specifically get off on fetching things for people or performing acts of subservience, but it's not inconsistent with the things I do get off on, so why not, I'm game.)

EulenWatcher · 2023-05-13T06:38:43+00:00

It depends. I can enjoy and entertain certain dominance play or BDSM attributes, but more from caring and “so horny I’m gonna eat you up” position, not necessarily pure dominance. Also I don’t tolerate any humiliation, so that’s a big no for me. Hence anything in likes of “you’re my cum bucket” is out of the question and I wouldn’t have sex with a man who had such attitude or fetish.

For example, I like restriction of movement or him changing the position by lifting me up, but I don’t even want to try spitting or calling names.

Plus, I can enjoy ordering around, taking care of my partner a and being the one who leads the way and decides what we’re doing at the moment. I’m fine with both positions as well as with just purely vanilla sex which we have most often.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-13T09:05:11+00:00

Pretty much never. Never got very experimental with sex

reddishrobin · 2023-05-13T10:35:14+00:00

No thanks, I don't want abuse or pain. I prefer loving passionate sex with someone I love and trust. I'm happily partnered.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-13T06:24:05+00:00

I know you put it in quotations but even so domination kinks aren't necessarily objectification.

I wouldn't trust someone who saw me as an object in the first place and certainly wouldn't have sex or kinky sex with them.

I'm not necessarily into domination fetish however I do get off on my partner getting excited so if they are into that and excited about it it can stimulate/excite me too when we've agreed to it.

SartreK · 2023-05-13T07:30:48+00:00

As a sexually dominant man who is into D/s but not objectification, I'll just remark, to prevent any misunderstanding (*), that:

D/s does not in any way imply nor require objectification.
while there is undeniably some subset of D/s-minded (or more generally kinky) people who are into kinks that could be described as "objectification" or have a link to that, that's far from all and it's not at all something that would be representative of D/s per se.
for a lot of D/s-minded people, dominance and submission have nothing to do with objectification at all, but with a special type of personal bond.

(*) not accusing you of that; the "objectified" put in quotes could mean anything and the rest of your text doesn't look like objectification; it's just that the formulation with "objectification" in the title, even with such quotes, would unfortunately lend itself to reinforcing an implicit confounding of the two (that is D/s on one side and objectification on the other) that is often and wrongfully perpetrated in mainstream media when it comes to D/s-related topics.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-05-13T08:28:58+00:00

Nope never, I find its not a big line to make someone feel wanted without trying to dominate them, I’m not a puppet, I don’t want to be ever treated like one nor someone even trying

towerofcheeeeza · 2023-05-13T09:02:32+00:00

It can be fun in the bedroom but honestly it'd be weird bringing it out of there like without a literal sex component.

I'm personally more of a sub but that's not even just with men. I'm bisexual and even if I was with a woman I'd be the sub so it's not really about needing to be submissive to a man specifically. During sex we definitely do some D/S stuff and I enjoy it, but neither of us is interested in the more aggressive(?) stuff.

I guess I do like to do things for my partner outside of the bedroom like cooking for them or making them tea, but it's not really exhilarating or anything. It just feels nice to do something for the person I love.

Willow-girl · 2023-05-13T12:23:07+00:00

Zero interest. One of my husbands was into BDSM and it ruined our marriage. I just can't get into that headspace at all.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2023-05-13T12:58:35+00:00

It’s not necessarily objectification. When my boyfriend and I are in the headspace, we are both seeking to gain something from it. He enjoys curating experiences, giving someone exactly what they need and not what the want all the time. He likes to make things memorable and a little heavy. He’s told me that it’s weird feeling of responsibility and freedom: because I have told him the things I like and don’t like. And the lines I want to cross, and it’s his job to guide me through it all.

He can’t do anything I don’t want him to. He’s under way more control than I am, in a way, because he can only take what I give him.

At the same time, he’s earned the right to take a lot from me. I trust him, so he gets to do things that no one else can do. Sexually speaking, that might mean calling me some names, ordering me, or just getting liberty to touch me whenever and however he likes.

We even do things that aren’t sexually driven. For instance, I suck at motivating myself. I gain motivation externally, he’d like me to be able to value myself more so that I can motivate myself as much as say, he motivates me. So sometimes he will give me tasks that help with that. Or he helps manage my adhd.

But yeah, it’s sexy with a guy you trust who knows what he’s doing.

Clueless_Forever · 2023-05-13T15:44:32+00:00

I don’t enjoy that sort of thing at all.

BirdLawOnly · 2023-05-13T18:18:58+00:00

I have zero desire to be objectified. Does that answer your question?

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-13T10:20:52+00:00

I'd feel the opposite. I've tried experimentally reversing dynamics to be on the submissive end before and it's just felt odd and unsexy. I do find it pretty sexy to do a bit of domination and objectification (well, I'm fairly tame in any objectification aspects) myself though.

Barneysparky · 2023-05-13T10:33:29+00:00

I'm a switch. Sex for me is about powerplay and sexual pain, I've never been a huge fan of PIV sex. I get equally aroused giving or taking.

I would never date a Dom based on hundreds of interactions without a spark. I would never date a sub based on the same thing. I learned to not date men who hadn't been awakened to the delights of both.

Having deep trust in each other is paramount, and does not happen after a few dates.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-05-13T11:07:00+00:00

I do not fear my bf at all, but I love getting kinky with him because I trust him so much.

He also would hate if I was submissive all the time, so it’s a nice way to keep things fresh for both of us

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-05-13T11:44:36+00:00

I ask because nobody ever seems to post topics about sex in here anymore.

yeh because no one has sex anymore all they care about is tinder matches

drageryank · 2023-05-13T16:13:02+00:00

I love it. But only with a partner I deemed worthy to subject to

Safinated · 2023-05-13T16:15:49+00:00

Normal sex is plenty fun and enjoyable; I don’t need to tart it up with contradictions, conflict and transgression to make it sufficiently interesting or pleasurable

HighlyFlashy · 2023-05-13T16:22:39+00:00

I do. It’s great.

nicoleberry16 · 2023-05-13T19:13:29+00:00

I mean sometimes I roleplay w/ my bf and we often switch roles. It's def enjoyable with someone who you are totally in love with and trust.

AngeCruelle · 2023-05-13T19:36:03+00:00

Definitely interested in being a sub in that scenario, though I'm generally more interested in being the dom. Wouldn't consider it objectification.

Dirty talk like "bitch, slut", choking, slapping, etc. would absolutely be off the table, as I do feel that's more objectifying. Only gentle words, affirmation, and praise throughout.

RepresentativeMark16 · 2023-05-13T22:03:53+00:00

Yeah I’m way into it, only with the right person. The guy I’m currently with is just like, the best. I trust him and he respects me, we can talk openly about sex. He also has a very convincingly commanding presence in the bedroom. So it gets kinda wild. I would never have this kind of sex outside the perimeters of a good relationship, though. Just because I’d feel deeply uncomfortable letting a stranger tie me up or call me a dirty slut. It wouldn’t feel safe.

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-05-13T10:53:42+00:00

I mean, I do.

It's insanely hot to be viewed as my man's "property" sometimes or have to address him as a master, maybe with a little degradation on his side.

That leans into me loving being "forced" to submit to him, where bondage, CNC, and brat-taming are huge kinks for both of us.

However, the reason I'm so into it with him is because I KNOW he's a good guy that respects my boundaries and is aware that a kink isn't "real life" — which is vital if you also want to explore the "less vanilla" side of BDSM.

We also leave the D/s play in the bedroom, as neither one of us wants to play out an IRL scenario of me being subservient to him 24/7. I'm happy for those that love that, but it's definitely not for us.

ChadChasingB · 2023-05-13T10:57:45+00:00

hinges on women's ability to trust the man for whom she feels a mixture of fear and exhilaration towards.

I am not dating a man that makes me feel any level of fear. That's how you end up with a restraining order against you. I wouldn't date a man that has this kink. The need to be dominant in a relationship tells me that you have no power in or over your own life. That's not attractive.

RadicalQueenBee · 2023-05-13T11:58:30+00:00

I enjoy it a lot. I'm a switch and it's one of my favourite things to do/have done on me.

milk-enjoyerr · 2023-05-13T06:45:15+00:00

Not a woman tho, due hypergamy it's natural soft hierarchy between men and women.

Women subconsciously desire a man whom they can trust and submit to, it's universal and awalt in a way.

It's not a small role-play thing otherwise height wouldn't be that important.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-13T06:20:57+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-05-13T12:41:45+00:00

Not a woman but submissive women are on top of the echelon of women, most of the time they gain a "unique" desire that attract men even from the top of the latter, and women know that, acting submissive will get them HVM when the time comes

fiftypoundpuppy · 2023-05-13T12:46:08+00:00

My question is how many women here would genuinely feel exited, happy, and sexy if they were to try this dominance game (keyword: Game, as in roleplay) with a man that you trust and feel safe with and isn't some abusive or toxic relationship

Where's the fun in that though?

houstongradengineer · 2023-05-13T20:51:25+00:00

"in small fun doses of course"

Yeah, the way you posed this is entirely leading. If it's "fun," then the feeling would be "fun." Of course, you're not going to get most women to agree on the specifics of what is sexually fun or what man is trustworthy. Sex is personal, unlike this forum.

Most people will agree, though, that a little initiative from both sides can work wonders in an equal sexual relationship.

"Totally vulnerable, obedient, and subservient" sounds a extreme. Risking pregnancy and diseases and the social shame that women receive about sex is always a bit vulnerable, but that doesn't mean that being locked naked in a sex cage without a key is necessary for a fun sex life. There a difference there. I'm sure my sister might enjoy the sex cage. I can't say I see the appeal, though. This is why you don't fuck on the first however many dates, you build up and have these conversations one-on-one for a bit to determine compatibility before someone has to endure bad and/or painful sex they regret.

neetykeeno · 2023-05-14T00:59:36+00:00

I don't particularly enjoy it for itself, but in the development of a relationship it can be interesting and informing for the couple to occasionally hand control to one party. I don't think at any point in my life I could want it often or tolerate a relationship where the control doesn't equally as often land in my hands too. If I'm always being vulnerable and he isn't my gut reaction isnt ooooh kinky ...it is oh no something hinky... what's he hiding!

Meshakhad · 2023-05-15T20:34:52+00:00

Obviously I wouldn't do this with a man, but with another woman? Absolutely.

Comments